13 Celeste
C eleste doesn’t let herself relax until her ex leaves the studio. Gemma’s honey-brown eyes, her flushed cheeks… it took all of Celeste’s self-control to not close the distance between them, to not gently cup Gemma’s adorably sweet face with her hands and kiss her soft pink lips.
Last Friday could have been a fluke. They both drank a lot, and Gemma especially had been drunk out of her mind. But today, they were completely sober. And Gemma had still looked at her like she wanted to devour her.
And Celeste has no idea what to do with that information.
Gemma is still physically attracted to her. So what? Gemma couldn’t keep her hands off Celeste eight years ago, either, but she still started dating someone else a few months after Celeste left the country. And then moved in with him, just like that.
She’d consider asking Gemma to be friends with benefits, but they weren’t even friends anymore. Not really. And Gemma doesn’t do casual. Or at least, she didn’t when Celeste knew her eight years ago.
Last week, when she’d finally told him about everything that’d been going on, Min-joon had asked, “Are you going to be okay?”
And at the time, she’d shrugged and said yes. When she agreed to stay on the project, even if that meant she had to work with her ex, it hadn’t seemed like that big a deal. Eight years was a long time. And since Gemma had clearly moved on from her, Celeste thought she could keep things professional and treat this like any of her other projects.
But now… the lines are torturously blurry. And today’s interviews were only the first set of three that Celeste has to work on with Gemma. Somehow, they have to get through two more sessions—and whatever communication and meetups needed in between—before mid-January, when she’ll be free to go back to LA and resume her far less confusing life without her ex.
Before she leaves the studio, Celeste pops into the restroom upstairs to wash her face with ice-cold water. In the mirror, she looks pale, almost like a vampire with her bloodred lips and dark circles. She’d done her best to cover up her exhaustion with makeup, but now, at the end of the day, her face looks haggard, and there’s visible stress wrinkles around her eyes. She hadn’t been able to get much sleep ever since she first ran into Gemma at the bar, back when she was with Gretchen.
Celeste gets out her phone and goes to the conversation she has with her most recent ex, where the last sent text was Gretchen inviting her out for “the best pumpkin spice cocktails in the city.” Celeste had eagerly thumbs-upped the message, since she loves seasonal drinks of any kind. And without much thought, she’d naively gone to the address the other woman had shared, excited to have a good time.
If she’d known it’d be an ambush where Gretchen would accuse her of leading her on, even though Celeste very clearly told her from the very beginning she only does casual, she never would have gone. Especially not if she’d known she’d run into her college ex.
As her thoughts wander back to Gemma, Celeste pauses. Does she really regret running into Gemma, though? Sure, it’s been a hell of a lot awkward to see her again, but when she really thinks about it, it’s also been kind of nice. Although it was fucking painful when they were doing it, now that they’ve talked about the past and apologized to each other, she’s been feeling substantially lighter.
But still, Celeste reminds herself, that doesn’t mean she should fully let her guard down.
She taps her phone screen and deletes the conversation she had with Gretchen. That’s the problem with friends with benefits. A lot of times, people catch feelings, whether they want to or not.