41 Gemma
I ’ve pretty much settled into my new job and my new life when I come across an application with a familiar-looking portfolio on my desk.
“We’re currently searching for freelance videographers for the next project we’re doing,” says Pauline, one of my coworkers. “And this creator comes highly recommended. I think she worked with you on a previous project?”
Celeste’s eyes look back at me from the center photo, her expression the perfect mix of wistful and charismatic. Along with her picture are four photos she took, two of which are from our project.
“We also have her video work on file, but I figured you’ve already seen it, so I didn’t bother forwarding that email,” Pauline adds when I don’t respond right away.
I’m surprised to realize that, with how busy I’ve been lately, I haven’t thought about Celeste in a while. Despite the quieter pace of life in the suburbs, socially and professionally, I’ve been busier than ever. I’ve been dividing my time between helping Kiara and Val plan their wedding, throwing myself into work, and making new—as well as reconnecting with the old—friends here in SoCal. It’s been chaotic, but the good kind that helps me fall asleep exhausted every night but wake up feeling rejuvenated and ready to tackle the day in the morning. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been this happy.
But now, with my ex’s face right there in front of me, I’m so caught off guard that my voice barely comes out when I say, “We did.”
Pauline covers her mouth with her hands. “Oh dear. Did you not like working with her? We can remove her from the list, then, no problem.”
Slowly, I trace Celeste’s photo with my fingers. I take a breath, and then another, trying to gauge how I feel about her now that the initial shock is fading away.
“No,” I finally say. “Let’s bring her in and see what she has to say. She’s one of the best media artists I know. We probably won’t find a better person for the job.”
We schedule a meeting with Celeste for the following Monday. Technically, meetings with freelancers are done in the conference room with the whole team, but I tell everyone that I’d like to handle this one on my own. And my coworkers are all busy enough with other projects that they’re more than happy to let me take charge.
After how emotional things were the last time we saw each other, I have no idea how things will be when we meet again. So I can’t help but tense up a bit when she enters the conference room—early, of course. Her hair is longer, flowing gracefully down her back like a silky black waterfall. But other than that, she looks the same. Still unforgettably hot and irritatingly sexy.
As she takes a seat across the table from me, she looks around, her eyebrows lifting as she takes in the sleek interior of the conference room. But then her gaze lands on me, and her eyes soften with an all-too-familiar tenderness that makes my heart skip a beat.
I take a deep breath and lean forward, facing her. “Hi,” I say. “First things first… how did you even know that I work here? Are you actually interested in this job?”
Celeste blinks. “Oh, I definitely am. It sounds cool, and I’m not saying that for the hell of it. But I’m also here for you, Gem.”
Gem. The familiarity of the nickname almost makes me tear up. “How so?”
She nervously bites her lip before continuing, “I saw that you moved back to Irvine last year. And I was worried that something happened, with you or your family. Going back to your hometown after twelve years? That’s a pretty big change. It reminded me of what I had to do in college, and I wanted to check in to see if everything was okay.”
“Oh.” I sit back in my chair. I was expecting a lot of different things, but Celeste popping back into my life because she was worried about me wasn’t one of them. My heart flutters again, and I feel like I’m about to cry again. Not because I’m sad, but quite the opposite.
Tears escape from my eyes, and almost immediately, Celeste comes over to give me a hug.
“Oh, no, Gemma baby,” she says. “Is everyone okay? I’m so sorry—”
I wave my hands in front of me before she can continue. “No, sorry.” I’m freely crying now, but I’m smiling, too. “Everyone’s fine. I’m sorry I made you worry. Thank you, really. But no. I just needed to get out of San Francisco. And I got this new, higher-paying position close to home, so.”
“Wait,” Celeste says, cocking her head to the side. “But then why are you crying?”
My cheeks heat up in embarrassment. “Oh, I’m… happy. Life’s been so good since I moved back to SoCal. And now you’re here in front of me, saying you applied for a job because you’re worried about me? I feel so blessed.”
Celeste’s face softens, her shoulders finally relaxing as she smiles. “I’m glad to hear that. You deserve nothing but the best.”
My heart’s beating loudly in my chest now, irrepressible and undeniable. “Thank you, Celeste. Really.”
She peers at me from under those damn long lashes of hers. We stay there like that for one long moment, inches away from one another.
She clears her throat. “Okay, well, since everything is okay, I also wanted to talk to you about something else.”
I frown. “About what?”
“I…” Celeste trails off and looks away from me. She starts to say something, pauses again, and then finally goes on. “I think I overreacted. Back when we were in SF. There was a lot going on, and I was super overwhelmed, even more than I realized at the time. Yes, some time apart was good for us, and I don’t regret that part, especially after seeing how happy you are now. But I didn’t need to completely disappear from your life again, and I’m sorry. I regretted it a lot over the past year, to the point that I’m sure my therapist is sick of me talking about you.”
“Wait, you’re in therapy?” I ask, since I’m still wrapping my mind around everything else she just said. “I am, too!”
Celeste’s eyebrows shoot up in confusion. It’s probably not something to be super happy about, but after all the drama that went down with James admitting he chose to cheat on me instead of going to couples counseling, I can’t help but feel relieved. My advice columnist days are long gone, but I’m so glad Celeste and I are actually working on ourselves.
When I don’t say anything else out loud, Celeste’s expression deepens into a frown. “Wait, you didn’t go to therapy because of me, did you?”
“Kind of?” I admit honestly. “But also, not really. What you said about me, about how I kept jumping from relationship to relationship… it made me realize I had a dependency problem. So I’ve been working on that. And staying single for the past year. It’s been helping a lot.”
A huge smile blooms across Celeste’s face. She looks so genuinely happy for me that I smile, too. “That’s great to hear, Gem. I’m proud of you.”
Suddenly, she lets out a dry laugh. “My mistake was ever thinking I could do anything casual with you. Did you know it’s been over nine years since we first broke up? That’s almost a decade! And yet I’m still as obsessed with you now as I was then. I should have told you that instead of saying whatever the fuck I did back in SF.”
My heart’s pounding so loudly that I can barely hear my own voice. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Celeste bites her lip and nods. “I’d understand if you’re not up for it, because God knows you already gave me enough chances. But I want to try seriously dating you again, Gem. We don’t have to jump into a relationship right away, especially not since you’ve been enjoying being single so much. We can go as slow as you want, maybe go thirty-five miles per hour instead of doing a hundred twenty. Whatever you’re comfortable with. I don’t care as long as we do things properly this time.”
I laugh at Celeste’s random driving metaphor. It’s funny, but effective, since I know exactly what she’s talking about.
“To be fair, we had absolutely no chance of going at a normal speed from the very beginning,” I reply. “Since we started off as roommates.”
Celeste’s eyes widen with realization. “You’re absolutely right,” she says with a groan. “And they were roommates! Ironically that’s one of my favorite romantic tropes.”
“Jeez, I wonder why.” I snicker, and so does she.
When we’ve grown serious again, I say exactly what I want to Celeste. I don’t dance around things, nor do I say what I think she’d want to hear. “I want to try again, too. Just slowly, like you said. But also—and sorry, I’m not trying to be mean here—I thought you don’t do relationships, Celeste. I get that you still have feelings for me, but why did that change?”
She shrugs. “My therapist said this thing. She told me that just because I’m scared shitless, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t try something. Well, I’m paraphrasing, but yeah. And it made me realize that, even though I’m terrified and may still have a lot to work on before I feel completely ready, I do want to try everything with you, Gem. I want a shot at our happily-ever-after.”
I kiss her, unable to resist any longer.
“You don’t have to be perfect,” I say, resting the tip of my nose on hers. “No one is. We all have our faults, and we all have our own baggage. You don’t have to be this flawless goddess to date me. I’ve always just wanted you .”
Celeste nods. Her voice comes out raw, sounding more vulnerable than I’ve ever heard it before when she says, “I’ve always just wanted you, too. I don’t want to share my life with anyone else.”
My vision goes blurry with tears. “Same here.”
She stares at me for one long moment. Then, a mischievous quirk appears on her lips. “So, does that mean I got the job?”
I smile and pull her in for another kiss.