Chapter 19 The Revival
THE REVIVAL
LOURDES
“Brian is coming back. We all are. And you should, too,” Leah said. “Get ready.”
I groaned, looking outside at the garden. Gabe, my husband, finished his daily yoga practice.
“Gabe won’t go for it,” I sighed. “He’ll lose it. He won’t want to move, and he will never let me go alone.”
“Twenty shows. Lourdes, everyone is doing it. And you’ve always had serious FOMO about Victoria on Broadway.”
“You really wanna deal with Clive every night for three months plus a few weeks in rehearsals?”
“It’s the ten-year-anniversary, and it’s for charity,” Leah said. “I don’t give a flying fuck about Clive. I care about you. And I’ll only do it if you do.”
“They cannot run the thing without you. Even Brian cannot carry it alone. No one cares what I do,” I said.
“They do, too. Alexandra, you have an Olivier award for this role. You are just as important. You forget that I missed out on mine that year.”
“No, darling, I don’t,” I laughed. “You remind me every time, but it got you your first Tony! Cry me a fucking river.”
“This isn’t a dick-measuring contest.”
“You’re only asking me because Millie is pregnant and won’t do it.”
“I didn’t ask for Millie either way.”
I always forgot that Leah was the headliner now. She alone could sway a casting director. And when she said she wouldn’t do it without me, I wanted to believe her. Millie made a wonderful Alexandra, but I still firmly believed that was my part.
“I don’t know what Gabe will say.”
“You’ve been NY-LON before. What’s he going to do? Put you on house arrest?”
Possibly. Leah assumed he was controlling, but she didn’t know the half of it.
“How is Rich feeling about you being in Austria right now?”
Leah was onsite of her film adaptation of a historical romance about the Empress Sisi.
Since it was hers, it was total Oscar bait.
She asked me to join her on set numerous times, but Gabe refused to let me.
Her almost-fiancé, Rich, was a politician who had a more relaxed perspective on Leah’s career than Gabe had with mine.
“It’s my job. He understands. This is your job—a once-in-a-lifetime reunion to play a character you love.”
“We’re older and slower, darling.”
“Okay, but wiser, too,” Leah reminded. “Think about it. I would miss you so much if you didn’t do it. I gotta go. Sending lots of love.”
“Love you, too.” I hung up, quietly murmuring, “I miss your face.”
I didn’t tell Leah how grateful I was that she rang me at all.
I missed her voice and the smirk that told me she was up to something—usually sending a gag gift to someone or when she was about to launch into song, wanting me to join her.
It had been years since we lived in the same city for more than a few months.
I turned to see Gabe behind me.
“Who was that?” He asked, knowing full well who it was.
“Leah. They are doing a revival of Victoria on Broadway.”
“Well, that must be nice for her.”
“Gabe, I’ve been asked to do it. I would like to.”
He kissed my cheek. “You don’t need to. You’re done with the stage, remember? You don’t care about that anymore. You don’t need money. If you get a good gig, we can move to Hollywood again—”
“It’s twenty shows. I want to do it. I’m in between projects. Leah is busy as fuck, so we are working around her schedule—”
“I don’t like it. You can galavant around with your old friends in New York while I sit at home.”
“You can work just as easily in America. It’s never bothered you before.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not the one who will no doubt be fooling around with her costar.”
I rolled my eyes. “Leah and I haven’t been together since you began representing me.
That was a decade ago. I have never cheated on you—not once, Gabe.
Leah is with Rich. They’ll announce an engagement any day now.
I don’t understand your insistence on worrying about what I do or don’t do with Leah. ”
“You still love her. You just told her you did!”
“I can love her and not want to have sex with her,” I said. “She’s someone so important to me that I couldn’t not love her. We’ve been through everything together, Gabe. I don’t understand why you get like this.”
“Because a month ago, when we went to dinner, you looked at her like you used to look at me.”
I rolled my eyes. “What? How?”
“You have patience and kindness for her—not me.”
“Gabe, I will have more patience for you when you stop bothering me nonstop about popping out babies and quitting acting ‘for good’.”
“The time is just about up, Lou.”
Tears welled. We’d wed in a fever dream—so in love, so passionate—and now all I could do was glare at him. He was right. I looked at Leah with love and patience, knowing she had my back. To Gabe, I was the means to an end and nothing more.
“If I never give you children, what will you do?”
“I will have to move on.”
I scoffed. “Move on? Gabe, we’re married. You promised to love me until my last breath.”
“Well, that was back when I assumed you were willing to try and grow a family with me. You love kids. Why can’t you have one?”
“I don’t want to be pregnant!” I declared. “I have no desire to go through that. I told you if you wanted to use a surrogate or adopt, I was fine. I don’t want to give up my body to this. Would I raise children? Yes. But I don’t want to be pregnant. It freaks me out.”
“You’re so bloody immature!”
“You’re willing to disregard me over this. That’s far more ridiculous, Gabriel!”
“Get out,” Gabe said. “Call your mother. Have her give you a lift. You’re out. And I hope you enjoy working. You’ll have to do a lot more of it to pay your bills now!”
He went into the bathroom hateful but cool and calm. The shower turned on. I was left crying on the bed. My mobile flashed. It was Leah.
“Hello?” I sobbed.
“So, Clive hasn’t signed on yet. Does that change your mind?”
“I… uh… I’ll do it,” I sniffled.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Leah asked.
“Gabe just dumped me,” I sobbed.
“Over this? Oh my god! If I had any—”
“No,” I insisted. “It was so much. Can I come to Austria and sleep on your couch?”
“Of course,” Leah said. “I still owe you for dozens of times I crashed on yours. Come. Stay. I will feed and water you.”
“Like old times,” I said through tears.
“This is the worst of it. I promise the next part is better,” Leah said.