Chapter 31 The Conversation
THE CONVERSATION
LOURDES
Leah and I visited Brian and Leo, his husband, at their place in Brooklyn for a post-opening brunch with some other veterans.
While Brian and Leah were dear friends, I was closer to Leo.
He was a choreographer, and we worked together countless times.
I introduced the two when Brian worked in LA and Leo was involved in a workshop in San Francisco.
They hit it off and married two years ago.
“Can I help you with anything?” I entered their substantial kitchen.
Leo darted around, prepping a beautiful lunch. It was our day off, so lunch reigned supreme. We finally got to see the afternoon sun and sleep in without needing to make a ridiculous call time.
“Can you toss the salad?”
I snickered. “Oh, yes, Leo, I will toss your salad.”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re a child.”
“And you’re too cute. God, you and Brian are all domestic here. He’s got you doing the cooking. You live in fucking Brooklyn. Soon, you’ll have four kids.”
“Nah,” Leo said. “Impossible. We aren’t there. I don’t think we will ever be. We’re not Leah’s dads. Love them. They are couples goals, but no kids for us. What about you?”
I shrugged. “I was once open to the idea, but having kids leave my body isn’t happening. I don’t want that. And at my age, it’s better if I don’t.”
“Babes, forty is the new twenty-five.”
I giggled. “Okay, okay.”
“So, what is going on with you two?” Leo asked.
I stared at him like the answer was nothing.
“No, c’mon girl. Spill. That is not the tea. The tea is you two are back on with abandon. It radiates off you.”
“What? How?” I asked.
“Lourdes Lennon, do not lie to me! Besides, Leah gives off new relationship energy like none other. Either she’s fucking someone else or this is something.”
“I can’t speak for her,” I denied it. “Only that we are not together.”
“Uh-huh. So, you haven’t hooked up?”
I cringed.
“Look, I want to shake you. Brian wants you to see this friend of his, but I —”
“His friend sounded amazing, but yes. I already texted her and bowed out gracefully. This is sort of where I’m at.”
“Oh, yes, twist your arm. You and Leah Roughy.”
I snickered.
“So, when are we going on a double date?”
My stomach lurched. “Let me actually go out with her as a date first, okay?”
“Lou,” he groaned. “Take that girl somewhere.”
“I know, I know, but it is complicated.”
“If you build walls up around yourself about your future, Lourdes, you will be lonely, miserable, or both.”
“The stakes are different—”
“Brian came out and still gets work as a straight male lead.”
“Brian is lucky,” I said. “As is Leah. And they both came from well-connected, independently wealthy families.”
“You need to figure out your future, Lourdes, but if you turn down something that is making you this happy, you’ll regret it forever. Mark my words.”
Leah smiled from where she stood on the patio with Brian. She was perfect.
“You totally love her,” Leo teased. “Girl!”
“I do,” I sighed. “Like in ways I’ve denied myself for a decade. I just need a little more time to come to terms with it. Blowing up my life with nothing to fall back on. If I don’t have Brian’s luck and she breaks my heart—”
Leo stopped me as if conducting a symphony. “Stop. Deep breaths. Per Brian, she’s always been down for you—bad, girl.”
“But is it a rebound?”
“What does the past tell you?”
“That I’m the one she always runs to. But then she leaves.”
“Uh-uh-uh,” he wagged his finger. “No, Lou. When was the first time you told her that you loved her.”
“Standing in an alley the night she and Brian left Victoria on the West End.”
His jaw dropped. “And then you left her for Gabe?’
I flushed red. “The worst part is, she said she wanted to plead her case before I left for LA.”
“Oh, my love,” Leo mimed pain. “Get your girl and get over yourself! You know what you need to do.”
I looked at Leah as she laughed at Brian’s jokes.
I loved her big, expressive laugh—all the way from the sound to the way her nose crinkled.
I loved how sometimes she laughed so hard she cried or snorted.
And while I found it annoying at first that she laughed at her own jokes, I now found it sweet that sometimes she surprised even herself.
Get it together, Lou.