14. Enrique
Chapter 14
Enrique
I know she said she was fine. By the time the dance was over, she felt well enough to go on her own to take her medicine. Still, the reminder of how she would have fallen on the floor if I wasn’t there to catch her flashes through my mind more times than I like. She didn’t ask for this illness any more than I asked to be in the excruciatingly small circle of people privy to her condition.
Yet, I know and I cannot ignore it. It’d wear on my conscience if something happened to her and I did nothing with my knowledge. For this reason, I have no choice but to risk another blow to my relationship with Emily. I must go see for myself that Yasmeena is alright.
I have to assume something is still wrong because she would never be away from one of her events this long. She may be a mystery but some things are habits; being present for business is one of them. I did my best to stay put since Emily was not happy about me dancing with Yasmeena, but my texts and phone calls have gone unanswered. Now, I’m outside of her room for the second time this weekend. I knock and wait a minute until my anxiety has me swiping her room card once again. All the trips we’ve taken, all the rooms I’ve known about, and this weekend is the first trip I’ve ever had to use her key.
“Yasmeena,” I call out from the door. I move in further when she doesn’t answer.
The room is too calm for my liking. I call out her name again and stand in the middle of the room, listening for something, anything to give me a clue. I hear a sniffle coming from the bathroom. The door is open and the light is off. I move further into the space, allowing my eyes to adjust to the low light.
Yasmeena is on the floor wearing nothing but her bikini underwear. I would be completely distracted by her exposed breasts if something more extraordinary wasn’t happening. I didn’t know she could cry. I bend near her and tuck my finger under her chin so I can see her tear streaked face.
“What’s wrong?”
“I thought I had all the time in the world, Enrique but now, I know I don’t. My surgery is scheduled for Tuesday. I can’t have what I’ve always dreamt of having anymore. I know that now.”
The sadness in her voice climbs inside of me and squeezes at my heart.
“Wait, what surgery? What caused this? Are you in pain right now?”
Yasmeena chuckles but there’s no amusement in it. “I’m always in pain. I don’t care about that. I need to have my cancerous cells removed via surgery and that increases infertility. I didn’t want to do that but now, that’s the choice I’m left with. I’m coming to terms with it but it's just… I don’t know. I had a moment.”
I grab one of the towels because I’m not sure she’s aware that her breasts are on full display. I drape it over her shoulders and sit next to her.
“A moment?”
“Yes, a moment where I entertained the idea that I don’t want to do this and that I want a baby. That I need you but that’s all it is, a moment.”
I don’t speak for a moment because there was a lot more riding on this than I anticipated. I know she’s very detail oriented so it’s surprising to find that she had an entire plan that rested solely on me.
“I know you told me that there weren’t more potential husbands earlier, but I still thought you’d think of someone else. You’re usually so tenacious with your goals.”
“It dwindled once I found out my diagnosis. There’s a difference between pre-cancer Yasmeena getting a husband and now. No one would have kept their mouth shut and they’re under my family’s thumb. So yes, there aren't any.”
Damn, I’m so tired of her family and I haven’t officially met them. I never needed to meet them and definitely don’t want to now. I’d feel compelled to fight one of them if we ever met.
“And I can’t just be a secret donor?”
“There is enough news surrounding my family and our last name. I can’t pop up pregnant one day without a husband, as much as we want to think the business world and society has changed, they’ll crucify me in the blogs and the media. I’ve worked too hard to lose everything I’ve built, I would rather not have to subject my child to scrutiny every single moment of his or her life, even if I wanted a baby that bad.”
It all sounds terrible. It shouldn't be so difficult for a woman to make a choice to be a single mother but I also understand her concerns because I know exactly what she means. Somehow her desire to be a single mother would somehow affect her business sense.
“Okay, I’m listening.”
“I’ve always wanted one thing and that’s to be a mother. A good mother but like I said, I have come to terms that sometimes no matter what, what you want cannot happen. It’s not the end of the world, right? Plus, the pain, I was willing to endure it for my baby but now, there’s no point.”
I know this isn’t a manipulation tactic, Yasmeena just isn’t built that way because of her disorder, she’s just saying what's on her mind. Each revelation makes me more sad about the entire situation. My attempt to check on her and possibly make things better is just making it all worse. Would I be a constant reminder of what she lost?
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Yasmeena. It’s not an easy thing to just decide to leave someone you love to help someone with such a request. I didn’t know everything was this bad …” I should have known it was since she asked me. I should have understood that she would not have risked alienating her CFO if she had other options. “I’m not trying to torture you, it’s just a difficult thing to consider.”
“I don't need you to feel bad for me. You said no and that’s fine. I understand!” Yasmeena raises her voice a bit. Standing she snatches the towel off and throws it. “I understood not being able to give me what I needed. You said no and I said okay. Your answer was crucial to my decision afterwards and that’s something I didn’t have to disclose with you. Either way, don’t feel sad, bad, or guilty about it. It’s done. I’ll be just fine. Do you understand that?”
I stand as well so I can be eye level or higher since I’m the only one concerned about her near nudity.
“No. I’m not wired like you so I’m going to feel however the information makes me feel, Yasmeena. And if you want me to consider the entire thing, you need to give me all of the information, it’s not for you to choose what you think will and won’t be important to me when I’m trying to make a life altering decision. The stuff you’re telling me now shines a completely different light on the issue. I can’t read your mind. You have to tell me these things. You’d just given me paperwork and said to let you know. As much as you can see it as just another business deal, it isn’t. This involves people’s lives. The child included.”
“Okay,”she wipes her tears. “What do you want to know?”
“The important stuff, not the facts on a sheet. Cancer is different for everyone. I can't know what you are going through or your personal stakes from a sheet of paper. The constant pain and the fact that you always wanted to be a mother isn’t in the packet you gave me. Do you see the difference?”
I’m trying to remain objective but damn I want to hug all her pain away and not in a romantic way. She needs a friend more than anything.
“I see the difference but I can’t just tell people anything or have it written down somewhere so they can use it against me. That’s why I asked you to be my husband and the father of my child. I am aware of how you work and what you’ll do but seeing how you are with your fiancée, I know that you’ll put your love and all into the child. Like what you consider to be normal. I’ll never know what it feels like to be normal but I’ll do my part and do my best. Since I’m not having the baby anymore, I needed to face the facts and give up on my dream.”
“I don’t know who you’re referring to when you say ‘they” but it’s not about them right now. This is about me and I would never betray you like that.”
“I know you wouldn’t. I told you, I trust you. Only.”
Her words have a much bigger impact than she understands. It’s one thing to trust me at work or think I’m competent at my job. It’s another to be the only person she is wholeheartedly putting her faith in to help her with such an important goal.
Yasmeena’s decision isn’t based on some romantic relationship we have but more off of her seeing something inside of me that she deems worthy. This would give a narcissist a powerful high. It’s me or nothing.
“Okay. It gives me a much clearer picture of what I was supposed to consider. You said in name only when you first asked me, how exactly am I to father this child if I changed my mind?”
“You can have your inputs and see the child, I’m not a barbarian. It also makes it easier once you and Emily get together again. You’ll end up having your kids with her but you’ll be used to a routine to see mine.”
“I’ll come back to that. I meant how do you expect me to get you pregnant? What method?”
“Naturally.”
I’m not prone to blushing, especially not as an adult man but this is such a departure from Yasmeena and my relationship. Yet, here I am standing in her hotel room with her not caring that she’s damn near naked while she tells me in the most Yasmeena way that she want me to marry her then fuck a baby into her. Not sure what I was expecting but I’m damn near speechless.
“Um…” I start as I scratch the back of my head, looking for a proper response.
“So you wouldn’t want to have sex naturally to conceive? It’s the only way I’m getting pregnant. No IVF, no labs or anything like that.”
“I just didn’t consider it. I thought if I agreed to be your husband, I’d be your shield for insemination since you emphasized name only. The paternity wouldn’t be questioned because I’d be there.” I look away for a second as I think. I would have to completely sever my attachment to Emily to help Yasmeena. Even if she heard it from Yasmeena herself, Emily would still swear there were more feelings involved in this request. “And must we have this conversation with you in this condition?”
“Insemination? Because I’m so cold I couldn’t possibly want to get pregnant naturally? And what condition? I don’t cry much, I just needed something. I had to let go of everything somehow.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. If you need to cry, cry. I mean your near naked condition. And no, I never thought about your sex life or lack thereof. The phrase ‘name only’ to me meant no contact when you presented all of this. This is why specifics are necessary. If I agreed and we got married I wouldn't have known that you expect us to conceive naturally.”
“In name only had the details of me raising the baby by myself until my untimely demise given that the longer I wait, the closer I am to surgery and treatments not working or responding.”
“Do you really believe I’d have Emily to go back to after all of this?”
“Why wouldn’t you? She loves you and by then, you can tell her. Are you uncomfortable with me being near naked? Kidding. I'll put on a robe, if you could just…” she looks around the room as if noticing the dim light. “Get the light for me. I can’t move now that I’ve noticed it.”
“Most women cannot and will not go back to a man who left them for another woman, no matter the reasons. Just like I want all of your cards on the table, I have to tell you mine. Helping you can mean the end of my relationship. Forever.”
“Then say no. If you don’t want to lose your relationship but I have to know, what will that do to you, if you do? What’s going to happen?”
“What will happen if we break up?”
“We? As in you and me?”
“I’m asking for clarification on your previous question.”
“Yes, what will happen if you and your fiancée break up?”
“It will hurt my heart. I’m in love with Emily.” The truth is the best way to go with this situation. We both have to know what it takes to honor Yasmeena’s request. “I’d also have to find somewhere else to live because I’d back out of buying the house I’m leasing. There is no point in having a house that size by myself. Plus, No one is going to believe that I didn’t cheat on her with you if our marriage gets out. I will look like a gold digger after your money.”
“We won’t tell anyone. I know you love Emily and I know you’ll love her for the entirety of our marriage, which won’t be long but gossip, magazine articles, all of that fades. You get used to it. You won’t have to worry about a house or being considered a gold digger, trust me, they’ll forget it quickly because you’re a man. It’s harsh but it’s the reality.”
There isn’t much else I can say about the arrangement but something she said comes to mind. “Why can’t you move?”
“I can’t move when it’s dark. I need light.”
“Why,” I don’t know if she can hear the concern in my voice but I’ve never heard of that.
“My therapist says it’s linked to my trauma, kind of like a temporary paralysis thing. Baba called it my punishment for not listening. Now, can you turn on the light, please?” There’s a bit of a tremor with her ‘please’ but she clears her throat.
The more I hear about her dad, the more I understand why she wasn’t concerned when he was in the hospital. In fact, I feel like putting him in the damn hospital. The man he shows the world is sounding more and more fake by the minute.
“Okay,” I turn on the light, somewhat forgetting that what I saw glimpses of in the dark will be magnified in the light. My eyes linger on her perky breasts a second too long before I avert my gaze. Did she see that? It’s crazy that I’m in a hotel room with a near naked woman that isn’t Emily. Would I believe myself that this is all innocent? “Um, did you take your medicine?”
“Not yet.” Yasmeena says as she walks out of the bathroom. “I’m taking it now. Do I need to take it in front of you for proof?”
I smile because it was a serious question but it is something I want. “Please.”
Yasmeena turns with a tied-up robe that barely covers anything. I close my eyes and rub them once I realize that I’m now privy to exactly how her naked ass looks. It’s a very nice ass that I was not meant to see. Never have I ever been alone with a damn near naked attractive woman and not try to sexually escalate the situation. I open my eyes in time to see her take the medicine.
“There.” She lifts her tongue so I can see. “Anything else?”
I shake my head with another smile.
“Am I to assume you’re done for the night and not returning to the gala?”
“I can’t be done for the night, Enrique. It’s my company. I can’t just disappear but I can say that I had a wardrobe change…wait here, I need someone to zip me up. Usually I have someone else do it but Drew and Matthew don’t need to run up here for that. Just wait here and I don’t know, watch something.”
“Okay, I’ll wait.” I pull out my phone, preparing for all of the ‘where are you texts’ that will be waiting for me. There are a few from Emily but the last one is from Jeeves.
Jeeves: I’m entertaining your woman. I happened to see that she was blowing up your phone.
Me: Thank you so much. I’ll be back in about ten minutes. The last fire is almost extinguished.
30 minutes and a few more texted excuses later, Yasmeena comes out of the room holding the front end of the dress to her person, her hair is clipped up with a few tendrils slipping out. She turns around, giving me her back. “Okay, zip me up please.”
I zip the dress and she turns to face me, shocking me once again tonight. She has to know that she’s beautiful. The black, lacy dress leaves all of her shoulders completely exposed and pushes up the breasts-that I spent at least 15 minutes trying to ignore-like they’re being offered to me. Technically, they are. That thought alone makes my throat dry.
“You look beautiful,” I admit unexpectedly.
“Thank you. You look beautiful, too. Now let’s go make me some more money, shall we?”
I would not describe Yasmeena as amusing but her statement made me laugh. “Just you, huh?”
“You too, I guess.”
We don’t talk as we walk to the elevator but once the doors close I look at her again. “Yasmeena, thank you for giving me all the information. Give me forty-eight hours for my final answer, please.”
I press the button for my floor then for the lobby.
“Okay, that’s good enough for me.” There’s no indication to whether she’s a bit hopeful at this moment. It’s the same monotone reply I’m used to.
The elevator stops on my floor and I move to get off.
“Running away already, Cinderella?”
“Yasmeena with another joke. I’m beginning to think you actually have a sense of humor.”
“I’m practicing.” She shrugs.
“You’re getting better. I like it.” I hold the door so it doesn’t close on me again. “I’ll be down in a bit. Emily is already jealous enough to ask you intrusive questions. I don’t think it’s best that we reappear together.” I take in her body in that dress and make sure she doesn't look pale or ill anymore because it’ll be the last time I can look at her unsupervised. “Especially with the outfit change.”
“I guess it’s true, a woman does know. Interesting but she doesn’t need to be jealous. You love her, that’s usually enough.”
I smirk at her and move my hand for the door. “Wait until you start dating.”
“Dating? Oh no, I won’t.”
The doors close before I can respond. She’s so out of touch it’s almost adorable.