15. Enrique
Chapter 15
Enrique
I know cancer is happening to Yasmeena-I wish I could take it away-but it’s having a toll on me. My relationship more specifically. Emily didn’t relax once we made it home yesterday. It was the opposite; she somehow became more furious. It’s as if she was holding back until we were officially alone.
Emily had dropped her bag in the middle of the foyer while I was carrying everything else. Once I tripped and told her I could have broken something, she only shrugged and said ‘good.’
Being mad was one thing but I didn’t like her wishing me harm because she was upset.
“Good? Hurting myself would have been good? Are you insane?”
“No! You are for ever thinking you could cheat on me.”
“I didn’t cheat on you! I have never touched another woman sexually since we’ve been together.”
All other women seemed to cease to exist when I was around Emily, but she keeps knocking herself off the pedestal I have for her.
“Oh, yeah?”
Emily pulled out her phone to show me a gallery of photos she’s taken when I’m around Yasmeena. She zoomed in on the photo of me holding Yasmeena on the dance floor. Yasmeena's eyes are closed with her head on my shoulder. I have a hand splayed on her back with the other near her hip. I was only thinking about the best places to put my hands that were both appropriate and capable of keeping her from falling if she passed out on the dancefloor. I was protecting her secret.
It could look like a lover’s embrace to anyone not paying attention to Yasmeena’s face being slightly scrunched up from pain.
It was a spontaneous decision that’s controlling the trajectory of the rest of my relationship with Emily. We’ve only been engaged for a few weeks and it feels like it’s all falling apart.
“It’s obviously not what you think. You’ve somehow not only pegged me for a cheater but also as one who’d do it so blatantly. What would make you think I’d disrespect you like that?”
Tears slide down her face as she looks at me with sad eyes. “Because you did. You went and asked her to dance in the middle of introducing me to someone.” Emily wipes angrily at them. “Mr. Robinson even joked saying it appears that dancing was more important.”
“She needed me-” I don’t get to finish my sentence.
“I needed you.”
I put the bags on the floor and sink down on the couch. This is exhausting and my lack of sleep over the weekend isn’t helping. I know it’s hard to prove that I have the best intentions without any betrayal but I’m not sure how I’d act if it were reversed. Would I understand? How do I convince her without violating my NDA?
“The champagne made her dizzy, she didn’t want anyone to notice. That’s all it was. We’ve been on a trip for 48 hours and I’ve only been out of your sight for 2.46 hours you knew exactly where I was and what I was doing, Emily.”
“Time doesn’t matter, Enrique.” Emily walked over and sat down on the couch next to me. She tucked one foot under her leg and grabbed my hand. “It’s a feeling. I feel you slipping away. Tell me what it is?”
I’m constantly worried about Yasmeena’s cancer.
“I’m preoccupied and I can’t talk about why but I’m not pulling away from you. My love for you hasn’t changed. Telling you isn’t an option, what else can I do to make it better?”
“Quit your job.”
Love or career, that’s the decision I’ve been reduced to making. Emily won’t stay if I keep my job, but if I leave her then I’ll have the kind of position I’ve worked hard to get my entire life. I didn’t come from money, everything I have I’ve fought for from the moment I got my scholarship into a college my parents couldn’t afford.
Even if I don’t humor Yasmeena, I’d still be her CFO, those kinds of jobs just don’t come easily. Quitting my job for no other reason than my fiancée being jealous of my boss could make me appear to be flakey. What if she has a problem with the next person? How much compromise is reasonable? I told her a rash decision like that wasn’t feasible especially with a twenty-thousand dollar a month house payment.
She was willing to let go of it all and accept the possibility that I may never have my status again. I like to think I have emotional intelligence but being near broke won’t make us happy either. It’ll simply shift our issues from one topic to another. Infidelity and finances are the cause of the majority of irreconcilable differences that break up marriages. In this case, infidelity didn’t exist. It is just a matter of convincing Emily. We can have it all; she just needs to trust me.
I told Yasmeena Saturday night that I’d let her know in forty-eight hours. Knowing her, she’s going to hold me to it to the minute. A quick glance at my watch tells me I have a little under three hours to finalize this decision. A loveless marriage with my career and a child, or Emily.
My sigh is long and slow as my driver pulls up in front of my house. The sun is close to setting but that isn’t what makes my view of it dull. One weekend is all it took for me to no longer view my home with reverence. It’s now a reminder of problems I’d love to solve.
My nerves spike and I have to close my eyes to calm my inner turmoil. I feel torn and I hate how it makes me question everything. I’m not prone to indecisiveness. Emily and I can’t end this way but no matter the angles or how I try to analyze the facts, my brain keeps circling back to one thing: she needs me . Yasmeena needs my sperm and there is only one way she’s willing to get it.
Emily loves and wants me but she doesn’t need me. I’m not saying I need to be needed, but the difference between a want and need is major for the person on the other side. Yasmeena’s issues are much larger than Emily’s.
No one should have to go through something as difficult as cancer alone. Yasmeena has shared more with me in the last week than she has in the four years I’ve been here. I have no reason to doubt her. Her offer is very matter-of-fact, no underlying agenda.
There is no way to help Yasmeena and keep Emily. It’s not like I can ask for space to maybe have a second chance a year or so from now. Still, I just don’t want to hurt Emily. My NDA would continue to hurt her because there will be a lot of questions that will go unanswered. I can’t let her go. I love her too much. For that reason, I must give Yasmeena the bad news and pray that she finds a replacement who she can trust.
I would like to keep my job, but I have a draft of a resignation letter that I don’t want to give just in case. I hope just seeing it will be enough for Emily to calm down because I choose her.
I choose Emily.
Climbing out of the car, I rebutton my blazer then grab my laptop bag. Rolling my neck, I attempt to take some tension out of my body. Tonight is going to hurt no matter the outcome.
“Emily?” I call out once I’m inside.
The house is very quiet. Too still. My vision blurs a little and my eyes sting as I walk through the house. Something is off. I feel it in my bones no matter how much I want to pretend that it isn’t. My heart crumbles more as I notice some things aren’t where they used to be.
Writing is on the wall and I know exactly what I’ll find once I enter our room. My tears escape as my heart breaks. She left me. Emily’s request wasn’t a request; it was an ultimatum presented as a request.
I cover my mouth to keep from screaming in pain. My breaths are rapid so I lean on the wall to catch my breath. It hurts so much for different reasons. The biggest blow is her lack of faith and trust in me.
Once I can breathe again, I pull out my phone and dial her number with a shaky hand. It goes straight to voicemail. My text doesn’t give me a delivered notice nor is it the correct color.
“She fucking blocked me,” I growl in the silence, my words echo in the empty house. I can’t believe she’d leave me like this without a word after three years together.
An envelope on the bed grabs my attention, crawling on to the bed, I drop down on it and open what Emily left me. The engagement ring falls on the bed. Another tear falls, blinding me for a moment. Using the back of my hand, I wipe them away and look at the note.
Enrique,
It hurts to say goodbye, but I must. I received an offer that I couldn’t refuse. I planned to turn it down to stay with you but accepted it out of anger Friday night. I can’t back out. If you really want to be with me, leave that job and come to New York.
Love,
Emily.
Sadness and anger mix with hurt leading the charge. Emily didn’t give me a chance to answer her. My pillow cushions my head when I fall back. It hurts so much I’m numb. It was always hard for me to emote pain because I prefer to shut it down. This time is no different.
The wound is there and will be there for a long time. While I know that I’ll have periodic bouts of sadness, my brain always chooses to work on planning the next phase. What is the next phase?
My phone vibrates and I grab it fast in case it’s Emily.
Yasmeena: You owe me a decision in an hour.
I put down the phone and allow my sadness to consume me for about 15 minutes. Emily chose her career and made the choice for me to do the same. My mind goes back to my earlier concern, if I run after her and try to be with her in New York, will she do something like this again? How many times would I have to change something to appease her?
Rising, I take a shower and throw on a T-shirt with some jeans then leave the house. I get in my car to drive myself to my destination. I need the time to focus on anything but what I'm about to do. I nod at security and they wave me through to the house.
I ring the doorbell before I change my mind.
Yasmeena opens the door, confused that I’m there.
“How did you get here?”
My laugh is a short burst of amusement. “Your entire staff knows me.”
She nods like she accepts my explanation. “Okay, why are you here?”
“I considered your offer and have one last question.”
“What’s that?”
“Yasmeena, Will you marry me?”