Chapter Two #2
After he and Scott had found Michael’s chest of little things, they’d talked about Michael’s needs.
James had done a little research and over the last couple of years had gotten to witness Michael as a little.
James thought his older brother was super cute decked out in his play clothes with a pacifier.
Michael was still the person that James respected and loved.
Finding out that Michael was a little hadn’t changed James’s perception of him.
In all that time, James had never been curious.
James had been so focused on the move to Surf City, getting Scott ready for school, then finding jobs. Once he had all that taken care of, James was focused on becoming a firefighter. Now…now James wasn’t sure what to do with himself.
He couldn’t fast track the next six months when he had to complete his hours of training. That was one of the reasons that James had kept his job at the coffee shop. He needed to fill his time. James hated being idle. Plus, Luca and Dawson had become family to him.
Even when James wasn’t on the schedule, he and Scott usually hung around. He jumped in when needed but James just liked the atmosphere of the Coffee Cove and the customers were great.
The three young women rose from their table and headed toward the exit, leaving their trash behind.
James wanted to yell at them. Seriously! How hard would it have been to stop by the trash to throw their cups and napkins away. Instead, James grabbed a towel from the sink and headed to the front of the store.
He cleaned up the table the women had been at before walking around and straightening chairs and checking on the customers that were still there. Slowly, he made his way toward the back corner.
Josh was still sipping from his cup as he read the book that had brought so much attention to him.
His friend looked up as James approached.
“You good?” James asked. “Need anything?”
Josh shook his head before his gaze went behind James toward the counter and back to him. “Are things going to be weird between us now?”
“Weird?” Since they weren’t busy at the moment, James pulled out one of the spare chairs and sat across from Josh.
“Because of this.” Josh waved the book that he still held.
“My older brother is a little,” James confessed. “I’m familiar with the dynamic.”
“Huh,” Josh grunted. “I didn’t know that.”
James shrugged. “It’s not something he advertises. He gets enough shit having two partners.”
“I can see why that would be hard.” Josh grinned. “But I’m glad it doesn’t freak you out.”
James shouldn’t ask. He really shouldn’t. Leaning forward, James made sure that he kept his voice low. “But you are a Daddy?”
Slowly, Josh closed the book and set it down on the table in front of him. He didn’t look away when he answered, “Yes.”
James nodded. “That’s cool.” It was on the tip of his tongue to admit to playing superhero earlier. Nah. That had been a one-time thing. James wasn’t a little. “Do you have a little?”
Josh’s gaze flicked to the counter and back. “No, I never have.”
“Really?” James scooted to the edge of his chair. “But you’re sure that you’re…” He waved his hand.
Josh laughed. “Yeah. Two of my teammates were in a Daddy and little relationship. They never hid it from us. I have another friend, Maverick, from my second team that just found his little. I’m sort of surrounded by the dynamic.”
James knew just how that felt.
“I first started to explore this side of myself in clubs,” Josh explained. “I wasn’t sure what kind of Daddy I wanted to be, so it was good to get some experience under my belt before I started to look for a partner.”
That was interesting. Not that James had the time or money to join a club. “I wasn’t aware that there was more than one kind of D…Daddy,” he confessed.
Josh nodded. It appeared that he was taking this conversation seriously, which James appreciated. Normally James would never be so bold, but if Josh was willing to answer James’s questions, then James would take advantage of this moment. Maybe Luca’s nosiness finally came in handy.
“Finn, my brother’s Daddy, is kind of stern. His other partner, Jackson, isn’t a little but I’m not sure that he isn’t submissive. At least for Finn.”
“It’s possible that Finn fulfills something different for each of them,” Josh offered.
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
“I’m sure they would answer your questions if you asked,” Josh said.
James reared back. “Oh! I have no doubt that Jackson would tell me way more than I wanted to know. Michael would probably stammer and blush. No, I’m good. I don’t need to know more than I already do.”
“That’s fine too,” Josh told him. “I’m not a stern Daddy. I’m more of a caregiver.”
“Caregiver,” James repeated. He had no idea what that meant.
“I like to support my little. I’m okay with setting some rules, but I’m not big on enforcing them. Like with punishments.”
James shuddered hearing the word punishments. He was just going to ignore that reaction and luckily it seemed like Josh would too as he continued.
“Jude and Law,” Josh said. “Those are my two teammates that I went to visit. They both have littles. Well, Jude has been with Liam for a few months. Law and Nicky got together right before Christmas. But while Liam and Nicky are both littles, they approach regression differently.”
It was all so interesting. James had just thought that every little was like his older brother. Michael liked Finn to carry him around, wear a diaper, and play all the time. None of that appealed to James.
“There are different ages that a little can regress to,” Josh explained. “There are even some who identify as a middle.”
James’s mind whirled. So much information. “I had no idea.”
“I prefer a younger little,” Josh admitted. “Not in real age but in how they regress.”
“Michael wears a diaper,” James shared. He frowned. “Should I have told you that? That seems very personal.”
“I think it’s okay,” Josh said. “I’ll never tell anyone.”
“Thanks.” That made him feel better. James knew he should keep Michael’s secret to himself, but he was learning so much.
“Your brother sounds like the age I would want my little to regress to,” Josh said. “Diapers and bottles are something I enjoy providing for my boy.”
“But not all littles do that?”
“No, not all littles do that,” Josh confirmed.
Hmm, that gave him more to think about it. His gaze dropped to the book on the table. “And your friend writes about all that?”
Josh tapped his finger on the cover. “Yes, Liam writes about all ages of regression. And like I said, with his personal experience coming through in the books, they’re informative as much as they’re entertaining.”
“Cool.” Now that James had asked his questions, he felt a little embarrassed by his interest. He wasn’t a little. Maybe he just wanted to see what it was about for Michael’s benefit. Yeah, that made much more sense. “I’ll tell Michael about the books. I’m sure he would like to read them.”
Josh smiled and nodded. “He can get them on his kindle if he wants.”
James smacked the table. “I better get back to work.”
“Because it’s so busy,” Josh teased.
“I can’t let Dawson do all the work.” James spoke loudly enough for his co-worker to hear.
“Oh no, please let Dawson do all the work. It’s better than knowing what the two of you are talking about,” Dawson called back.
James laughed while pushing the chair back in.
“So cranky,” Josh teased.
“I’m not cranky!” Dawson nearly shouted.
He sounded cranky to James, but James also knew better than saying that out loud. He hurried to the one of the empty tables to clean up as Dawson told Josh how grown-ass men weren’t cranky.
Now that James knew Josh’s secret and was fully aware that Josh had a thing for Dawson, James couldn’t help looking at Dawson a little different. Did Josh think that Dawson was a little?
James couldn’t see it. Not only was Dawson older than both James and Josh, Dawson was also harder around the edges. Dawson was late getting to college since he’d spent the last seven years in the army.
Josh was also former military, but the two men carried themselves quite differently. James had a feeling that whatever Dawson had gone through had really messed him up. Dawson was determined to get an education even if it meant doing it all on his own without his family’s support.
But this could be what Josh had been talking about. Maybe Dawson wasn’t a little but an older little or middle. Not that James could quite grasp the difference yet. If Josh saw something in Dawson, it wouldn’t hurt James to do a little more research. For his friend and his brother.
Yeah, that seemed like a good plan to him.
Liam Groves. James would get one of the books on his kindle once he got home. No one would know.
* * * * *
Jacob
Ten twenty-three. Jacob could hear the motorcycle engine at ten twenty-three.
James was home safe and sound. And Jacob had not stayed up to make sure of that.
No, he was working on his syllabus for the next semester.
He still had a few weeks to get it done but Jacob liked having things neat and tidy and ready to go.
The new statistics class for sophomores that he was offering this semester would be an asset to the students who had signed up. And his class was already full.
He relaxed back in his chair and stretched his arms over his head. Jacob had bent over his lesson plans for the last hour. His body was not happy being in the same position for so long. Jacob was getting too damn old.
The motorcycle being cut off seemed to enhance the stillness of his house.
Jacob pushed himself from his chair. He turned off the lamp beside his files before strolling out the door. He began to unbutton his shirt as he made his way through the dark hallway. There were rooms in his house that he barely used.
One room, particularly, Jacob never entered.
He paused at the door to the room next to the master bedroom. Once, years ago, Jacob had plans for that room. When he still believed that he’d find someone to share his life with.
Placing his hand in the middle of the door, Jacob closed his eyes. If he opened the door, Jacob knew what he’d find. Nothing. Not one piece of furniture, no bed, no toys, nothing.
A room meant for his boy that hadn’t made it past the stage of having the thick, soft carpet laid.
Maybe it wasn’t too late for him.
Wasn’t it proof that he might still find his perfect partner when Jesse had just found Lake?
Jacob had doubted that his brother would ever claim the young man that he’d been obsessing over.
Jacob had encouraged Jesse every time they spoke or he saw his twin, but Jesse had been hesitant.
And now look at Jesse living with Lake and starting their lives together with a special and unique group of friends.
His brother, who was a multi-millionaire and owned more property in Las Vegas than any other developer, had given up his penthouse suite to move into a house with Lake and another couple. Because that was what Lake had wanted for them.
It must be amazing to have such love and trust with another person.
Thinking about Jesse and Lake led Jacob back to that scene earlier that afternoon when he’d witnessed James inside the small garage apartment. That had been a cape around James’s shoulders. James looked so happy while dancing around laughing. Something that Jacob would love to see more of.
Not that he thought that would ever be possible.
Even if by some miracle James was interested in a Daddy and little relationship, which seemed nearly impossible, James wouldn’t be interested in him.
Jacob had messed up too many times when dealing with James.
He could blame his past trauma, but the sad truth was that Jacob didn’t know how to talk to James.
James was a strong, confident, and stubborn young man that didn’t need a stickler for the rules like Jacob.
Rules were vital to Jacob’s well-being.
One of the reasons that he preferred his partners to identify as an older little was because Jacob needed to set expectations and have them followed.
He’d lived in a house where rules were nonexistent.
It was because his parents hadn’t cared about Jesse and Jacob. Jacob couldn’t live that way again.
As attracted as Jacob was to James, he knew in his heart that James would never feel the same.
And Jacob might like a little to call his own, but just like the year that would be ending in a few short days, the next year wouldn’t be any different.
Jacob would be spending the next year all alone. It was time that he accepted that.