Chapter Four #3
Everything about the stiff way James held himself told Jacob that he needed to tread carefully. “You may not believe this, but I really do. I’ve wanted to.” Jacob allowed a soft chuckle to escape. “I’m really bad at getting close to people.”
Instead of the snark or teasing that Jacob expected, James seemed to relax. “Okay. Good.”
Good? That was it? Pushing down his frustration, Jacob started to clean.
James ran hot water as he began to wash the measuring cups and spoons along with the large bowl.
They didn’t talk but the silence was comfortable. None of the normal tension that usually surrounded them.
The boy didn’t half-ass the work, which Jacob appreciated.
“Good job,” Jacob praised as James finished drying off the dishes.
James’s cheeks pinked as he nodded. “Thanks.”
“First let’s measure out all of the ingredients,” Jacob suggested. “That way we can put away what we no longer need and have more room to work.”
“What if we need more?”
“We won’t,” Jacob assured him. “In baking, measurements need to be exact.”
James huffed. “Basically baking is like…your favorite thing ever.”
“And your worst enemy,” James said with a grin.
James laughed. “That’s fair.”
The boy had such a wonderful laugh. Jacob wasn’t used to being the cause of it. “Let’s get this cake mixed and in the oven. Then you can see what I brought you.”
“I forgot!” James bounced on the tip of his toes.
“That’s what I thought.” Jacob pulled the large bowl in front of the boy then moved behind him. “Can I touch you?”
James’s sharp intake was audible. “Do…do you want to?”
Jacob could make up an excuse. It was easier being honest. “Yes.”
“Okay.” James replied softly.
Directing James’s hands by holding his wrists was surprisingly sexy. With the boy only being a few inches shorter, their bodies were in perfect alignment. Together they mixed the dry ingredients before slowly adding in the wet.
By the time they were stirring the homemade mixture in the big bowl, Jacob was hard and leaking into his jeans.
James pushed his shoulders into Jacob’s chest and sighed. “It looks good. We did good.”
“We did great,” Jacob agreed. “Who knew that we’d make such a great team?”
James chuckled. “Not me.”
“Let me get the cake pan greased and then in the oven the cake will go.” Jacob checked the oven to make sure it was preheated to the correct temp then went about getting the batter into the greased pan.
As he worked, Jacob noticed a small glass jar pushed into the corner of the counter. He didn’t comment. Jacob wasn’t sure what to say about the…what the jar was filled with.
Once the cake was in the oven, Jacob washed his hands then held out his palm for James.
James shuffled over and Jacob washed his hands as well.
He grabbed a towel. Drying James had the boy looking down at his feet.
Oh! The floor needed to be cleaned still as well.
All afternoon Jacob had been testing James’s reactions to how Jacob requested he did tasks or directed him.
There was no sass. Instead James seemed to be trying to impress him. Jacob approved.
“Do you have your phone to set the timer?” Jacob asked.
James nodded then dug his phone from his back pocket.
There wasn’t much of a mess since Jacob had taken control. He did wash up the measuring cups, spoons, and bowls before grabbing the broom from the corner of the kitchen.
“I just cleaned in here too,” James complained. “After Michael and his boyfriends left.”
Jacob hid his smile. Eventually he would have to admit to seeing James in the cape. Maybe after Jacob gave him the present. That might need some explaining on his part. Bending down, he picked up a small green item then added it to the pile that he’d seen next to the oven.
James climbed onto one of the stools at the counter and watched. “I’d offer to help but you look very content with a broom in your hand.”
“Socks off, please,” Jacob requested. He didn’t need the help. The boy was just fine watching. And as much as cooking calmed him, cleaning did as well. If James had seen some of the places that Jacob had lived, the boy would be shocked.
James pulled off his socks and tossed them toward the open laundry door.
Jacob lifted a brow.
“I’ll pick them up later,” James told him. “I want my gift.”
Jacob returned the broom to the corner. “Fine.” He’d ensure that James did indeed pick up his dirty socks before he left. Strolling over to the corner of the counter and grabbing the plastic-wrapped toy, he set it in front of James and waited.
James frowned as he turned the action figure over then back to the front. “What?”
“It’s a superhero,” Jacob pointed out. Not that he thought he needed to.
“I can see that. Why did you buy me a superhero action figure?” James asked suspiciously.
Jacob didn’t miss the way that James carefully ran his finger over the front of the package.
“You said you wanted to be a superhero,” Jacob reminded him. “I saw this and thought. You already are. To me.”
James’s head snapped up. “What? Are you making fun of me?”
“Of course not!” Jacob hurried over to grab James’s wrist. He really liked holding on to the boy. “I wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m a grown-ass man,” James said sharply. “I don’t need someone to buy me…toys.”
He’d fucked up again. After spotting James in the cape, with James’s confession, and knowing that Michael was a little, he’d assumed. Assumed incorrectly. Jacob swallowed hard. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything.”
James set the toy down hard. “What exactly are you implying.”
Releasing his wrist, Jacob took two steps back. This was horrifying. Just because he was interested in having a boy of his own didn’t mean it was right to place that desire onto James.
He should have known better.
Jacob was never anyone’s first choice. Well, that wasn’t true. Jesse loved him and had chosen Jacob over everyone else. At least until Lake had shown up and taken all of Jesse’s attention.
Clearing his throat, Jacob reached for the toy. “I should go.” And he wouldn’t come out of his house until the new semester started.
James curled his fingers over the package. “I’d like an explanation, Professor.”
The way James said professor put Jacob in his place.
Jacob was just James’s landlord. They weren’t friends. Hell, they weren’t even civil to each other. The nice afternoon of baking didn’t mean anything to the boy. An apology. A thank-you for getting James inside safely after a bad shift.
“Are you going to answer me?” James demanded.
Jacob backed up another couple of steps. He didn’t do well with anger. His parents had always been angry. “We were talking about superheroes when I brought you inside. It just…I wanted to do something nice for you. I didn’t feel good about how we ended the night.”
James’s jaw was clenched and his eyes were bright with anger. “Why would that even matter? We never get along. You’ve been an asshole since the moment you found out that I was moving in.”
Direct hit. Jacob was an asshole. “I apologize that—”
“I don’t want your fucking apology!” James slammed his fist on the counter. “I had a bad night. A bad shift. I’d never seen something so horrific as that accident.”
Jacob nodded.
“You went out of your way to make sure that I got out of the cold and inside safely. I appreciate that. That doesn’t make us friends. I don’t need you to buy me presents like I’m some little kid!”
James was practically screaming by the time that he was done.
The shaking was starting. Jacob wrapped his arms around himself like he’d done when he was little. “I understand. I…I’ll go. I’m sorry.”
James started to speak again but Jacob couldn’t even understand the words. He ran. Jacob took off toward the front door.
Get somewhere safe.
His house.
Jacob was safe in his house. Get home. Home. He slammed the door of the apartment behind him, knowing that if James was intent on getting to him that a closed door wouldn’t stop him, but maybe it would slow him down.
A light drizzle had started to fall while he’d been inside the apartment and he slipped off the bottom step. Grabbing for the handrail, Jacob cried out as his shoulder jerked painfully. He ignored that jolt. Not like Jacob wasn’t used to hurting.
Back on his feet, Jacob hurried to his own house where he would be safe. He slammed into the door, fighting for breath and finally the knob turned in his hand. Jacob got himself inside and locked the door behind him.
He ran and hit the light switch, knowing he was safer in the dark.
He’d always been safest in the dark. Jacob slid down the wall and wrapped his arms around his legs while burying his face in his knees.
His harsh breaths were the only sound in the room but Jacob knew from experience that didn’t mean he was safe.