Chapter Five #2
What would people say if they saw the old house that had been falling apart?
Or if they saw the dirt floor and the nasty mattress that Jacob and Jesse had shared.
If they knew that beatings and slaps were as common in their house as kisses and hugs were in other families.
The yelling, the hitting, and all the horrible names they’d been called daily.
Jacob pulled his blanket up to his chin.
He had three thick heavy blankets on his bed.
Was it too much? Yes. Did Jacob sleep practically naked so he didn’t overheat?
Yep. Could he just use two blankets? No, no he could not.
He needed the reassurance, the comfort, the familiarity of his nighttime rituals.
Just like rubbing in the expensive creams and lotions that helped minimize the appearance of his scars, the blankets were a coping mechanism.
As secure in the fact that Jacob was that he was mostly past his childhood trauma, there were times when doubts snuck in.
Especially when he was faced with real anger and yelling.
James had been mad.
Jacob wasn’t exactly frightened of the boy.
He’d never once witnessed James lose his temper or threaten anyone.
Quite the opposite, in fact. James was soft with people who needed it.
If Scott was having a bad day, James would cater to his brother.
The newest barista at the coffee shop with big sad eyes would sometimes flinch at loud sounds and James would cover for him.
James wasn’t anything like Jacob’s father.
Trauma didn’t care about facts and reality.
The shaking and the nausea from earlier hadn’t been warranted. It didn’t stop Jacob from being triggered.
Wanting to forget about the bad afternoon, Jacob tried to think of anything else but his mind kept returning to James. Had James pulled the cake out of the oven on time. Had he frosted it? Jacob would have liked to be there to show James the tricks he’d learned.
Was James wondering what the fuck was wrong with him? Probably. Jacob had made a complete fool of himself. At least he was certain of one damn thing. His attraction to James was one-sided. Jacob needed to get over his crush and move on.
For the last year, he’d waited for James to get comfortable in his new life. Starting over wasn’t easy. Jacob knew that from experience. He’d thought that the boy needed time. Time didn’t solve everything though.
Time didn’t make people forget.
Lying there in his cold bed, Jacob could remember every miserable moment of his childhood and the excitement of when they’d made their escape.
They’d been eighteen and had graduated that day when Jesse and Jacob had slipped out the window of their old house and away from the only family they’d known.
The backpacks they carried had been light.
It wasn’t like they’d had much to take. Just that one thin blanket that they shared at night and some clothes that had been too small.
Looking back, Jacob wondered about the town folk that they’d grown up with.
About teachers and people in the community who must have known how their father had treated them.
They’d seen the bruises, the burns, the scars.
No one had ever stepped up for them. No one had cared what they’d been going through. Not one person had tried to help.
Their small Texas town had been right by the interstate. A huge bright truck stop had been their salvation. They targeted the big rig truck drivers and vehicles that needed to stop to refuel or grab a snack in order to make their great escape.
It had taken a few hours but they’d eventually found a trucker who was headed west and caught a ride with him. Texas to California was a long trip when they had to beg or barter for rides.
Eventually they’d made their way west as far as they could go. Farther south than where Jacob had ended up but California was home for him.
They’d slept on the beach, in shelters, abandoned houses until they’d both landed construction work. There had been a real estate boom at the time and reliable workers had been hard to find.
Neither Jacob or Jesse had experience. They’d been willing to work hard and that had gotten the jobs. Proving their worth hadn’t taken long and soon they’d earned money for food and eventually a motel room.
Of course, Jesse hadn’t been able to keep his nose out of the boss’s business.
While Jacob had been learning the tricks of the trade from the more experienced craftsmen, Jesse had his sights set on what happened behind the scenes.
Why an area was good for a new build. Where to find cheap houses to flip for a profit.
The motel had been a dump. They survived off fifty cent ramen and peanut butter sandwiches. But they survived.
Jacob still remembered the pride in his twin’s eyes when Jesse showed him the first house he’d bought with their savings, and the help of their boss, to flip.
They worked their construction jobs during the day, lived in the house and worked on it at night and on the weekends until it had been ready.
They’d made enough profit from the first flip to buy another house and have a fancy steak dinner.
That had been their life for several years.
One house after another.
Jesse had become a master at negotiations and finding properties. Jacob had taught himself how to do the paperwork correctly, file permits, handle the ins and outs. He’d spent any extra time he had at the library until Jesse had insisted Jacob start taking night classes at the community college.
Jacob had his degrees. Three in fact. He had never attended a fancy university or Ivy League school. He was proud of his state education and what he had accomplished. What they both had accomplished.
Becoming a professor was one of the ways that Jacob fought back against his past. He could be the professor that saw the diamond in the rough and offered a helping hand. His first tenure had been at UNLV when he’d lived in Las Vegas with his brother.
They’d ended up in Las Vegas after the California real estate market had dropped. Jesse had insisted that they could find more work, houses to flip, and make tons of money by moving to Nevada. Jesse had been right. Just like he always was.
Jacob hadn’t minded living there but it wasn’t home to him.
Jesse had found his place among the wealthy and high-powered residents and visitors to Las Vegas but Jacob wanted a slower pace, less attention, and had started to look at returning to California.
Being offered the professor position at Surf City University and smaller more specialized classes had been just what Jacob had been looking for.
His brother hadn’t been happy. They’d never lived apart from each other.
It had been a tough decision. However, Jacob knew in his heart that he belonged in Surf City.
Jesse hadn’t just let him go. They still partnered in most of Jesse’s real estate deals and that included Jesse approving the house that Jacob was currently living in. He was a block from the beach and only a few more from the university. In the spring and fall Jacob rode his bicycle to work.
He loved the house that Jesse had assured him was perfect.
It was too much for one person and included the garage apartment.
Renting Scott and James the apartment for cheap had been a favor to a colleague from another college.
She’d bragged about Scott’s drive and desire to learn.
The boy had sounded so much like him that Jacob had agreed instantly.
He just hadn’t expected James to be part of the package.
The similarities of James and Scott to himself and Jesse had been eye-opening.
James and Scott had suffered the loss of both parents when they’d been only sixteen.
Raised by a brother who had only been two years older than them.
Family. Blood that wouldn’t turn their backs or give up.
That might have been when Jacob had first decided that he was going to save those boys if it was the last thing he ever did.
And now lying in the dark with the shakes and fear still tangible, he could also admit that he might have been a little too overbearing.
He could only protect the boys as much as they let him. Scott was thriving and all the reports from his professors were glowing with praise. James had the same drive that lived inside Jesse. James would accomplish what he set out to do because there were no other options for him.
The respect that he held for James would have to be enough.
They would move on from the incident earlier.
Jacob would stop trying to fit James into the box that he’d once believed would keep the younger man safe.
It was time to loosen the reins. James didn’t belong to him, would never belong to him.
Jacob was merely the landlord that offered a helping hand. That would have to be enough.
Jacob sniffed.
He had realized how tight he’d be holding on to the hope that his happily ever after would mirror his twin’s.
Just because Jesse was settling down and would soon be calling Lake his husband didn’t mean that Jacob’s fate would be similar. He’d protested numerous times that James was too young for him. James was the same age as most of the students that Jacob taught.
A crush. Respect. That was all it was. James was a smart, driven young man who would find a partner his own age that he could build a family and future with.
Where did that leave Jacob? Alone once again. Not that being alone was all bad.
When he was alone, he didn’t have someone looking too closely at the scars that Jacob pretended weren’t there. Someone that questioned his need for a closet full of blankets, more clothes than any man should own, and a house too big for just him.
Jacob could start the new semester like he planned, giving his students his full attention and the best education that their money was paying for.
He would visit Jesse and Lake. Be the brat tamer in the club, as they liked to call him.
Visit the new friends he’d made. Maybe he’d even go on vacation over the summer.
It had been a very long time since he’d done that.
He’d always wanted to visit Europe. To see the places that he’d only read about.
Jesse was the traveler of the two of them.
He had business ventures all around the world.
He had properties all around the world as well.
Jacob had a list of every property that was in either in Jesse or Jacob’s name.
Did he need the list? Yes. Jesse was always buying him something or putting their shared money to use to make more.
Only five months of classes and Jacob could go anywhere that he wanted.
The plan to travel had always been there. Sure, Jacob had hoped to have a partner to share the experience with but maybe it was time he stopped putting it off. Admitted that he was probably going to be alone so he might as well start living his life the way he wanted.
Closing his eyes, Jacob was going to force himself to sleep. The affordable housing project would be perfect to keep him busy until he could return to his classroom.