Chapter Five
DOC SAT BETWEEN Dare and Cowboy in the Dark Knights clubhouse feeling like he was going to climb out of his skin. His leg bounced under the table, his mind still spinning over the bomb Juliette had dropped. He’d had a hell of a time focusing on the horses they’d rescued, and now the one place that usually centered him made him feel like a caged animal.
His father and Manny Mancini, Billie’s father and the vice president of the club, sat at the head table going over club business. All eyes were on them, but they were a blur to Doc, his thoughts a painful tangled web of confusion.
Dare nudged him. “You okay?”
“No, he’s not okay,” Cowboy hissed. “How could he be?”
“We should talk about it before you go see her,” Dare whispered.
“No thanks.” There was only one person Doc wanted to talk to about this, and she’d have to wait until the fucking meeting was over.
His father shot them a serious stare, causing some of the other guys to look over, too.
Fuck. Doc had told his brothers what had gone down with Juliette, but his father had no clue Doc’s world was unraveling around him. Then again, a fly couldn’t take a piss on the ranch without his father knowing about it. Everyone who lived at the ranch had meals together at the main house. Doc had worked through dinner caring for the horses they’d rescued, but there was a good chance Sasha, or someone else who’d seen him running after Juliette’s fucking truck, would’ve said something to his father.
As Tiny went back to discussing their upcoming Ride Clean anti-drug campaign, which they were hosting at the ranch in a few weeks, it was taking everything Doc had to try to hold on to some semblance of control. But the air was too thick, the battlefield in his head too painful. Fuck it. He needed answers before he lost his mind.
He pushed to his feet, ignoring the cautionary looks from his brothers, and felt his father’s disapproving stare as he strode toward the door. Not only were club meetings mandatory, but it was the ultimate disrespect to leave while the president was speaking.
Doc filled his lungs as he stepped outside, heading for his bike.
The door flew open behind him, and his father strode out. “Son, you’d better stop right there.”
He stilled.
His father closed the distance between them. “What the hell is so important that you’d disrespect me like that?”
“Juliette came by the ranch today. Figured someone would’ve told you.”
His father’s expression gave away nothing. “I’m asking you .”
“She claims we have a son,” he bit out. “You know anything about that ?”
He shook his head. “When we heard she’d had a baby, your mother and I wondered. It was awfully fast, but Juliette had been seeing the boy she married before she came to the ranch. Like everyone else, we assumed it was his.”
“Guess we’ll see.” He straddled his bike, the ache of Juliette’s original betrayal slaying him. But this? If it was true, how could she keep him from his own son for all these years? But none of that was his father’s fault. “I’m sorry for disrespecting you. I’ll take whatever repercussions you want to dole out, but I can’t sit in there not knowing if that kid is mine or not.”
“We both know family comes first. Just don’t make a habit of it.”
DOC GROUND HIS back teeth as he climbed the steps to Juliette’s grandmother’s house, trying to keep his memories from bullying their way in. But he was assaulted by images of kissing Juliette in Hazel’s barn and behind the shed, going on trail rides and making love in the fields, having dinners with Hazel, and holding Juliette’s hand under the table. He’d held her hand so often, it had felt like an extension of his own.
Fighting against those memories, his heart hammering in his chest, he knocked on the door. He heard Juliette calling out, “I’ve got it!” and then her face appeared in the sidelight, her big blue eyes filling with concern. Fuck .
She opened the door and quickly stepped outside, pulling it closed behind her, looking too damn sexy in cutoffs and a T-shirt. “ Seeley , what are you doing here?”
“What the hell do you think I’m doing here? You can’t drop a bomb like that and expect me not to want to know the truth. How do you know that kid’s mine?”
“How can you even ask me that?” She looked stricken. “You know I never slept with anyone else that summer.”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. I used to think I could trust the things you said, but that was a long time ago, and I learned really quickly how much of a fool I was. But if I was the only guy you slept with, then why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
“I did ,” she said sharply.
“What the hell are you talking about? You didn’t tell me shit. I called and texted every fucking day. You didn’t return a single one.”
“My father took away my phone!”
“And there were no other phones in that big fucking house? You couldn’t borrow one from a friend or buy a fucking burner phone?” He couldn’t stop his voice from escalating. “While you were out rekindling your relationship with Josh, I was trying to save us. I went to your house, and I went to your school every damn day looking for you. I waited for you to reach out, and you went radio silent on me. I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing or why now after all this time.”
“I’m not playing a game!” she insisted, her eyes tearing up. “I didn’t have your cell number memorized. It was in my phone, so I called the ranch, but they said you went back to school, and I didn’t want to leave a message because of my father! I was afraid he’d do something to your family. But I wrote you letters!”
“ Bullshit. I never got any fucking letters. Goddamn it, Juliette. What do you want from me? Why are you doing this?”
“Because Lucas is your son , and I can’t—”
The front door opened, and Lucas stormed out. “What’s going on? Why are you yelling at my mother?”
Fuck.
“Lucas—”
“ No , Mom. This guy treated you like crap at the hospital. I’m not going to let him do that again.” Lucas stepped between them, staring Doc down, full of piss and vinegar, not unlike Doc was at that age. “I don’t know who you think you are, but that’s no way to treat a woman.”
The kid— Lucas —was tall and lean, on the cusp of broadening shoulders and sharper features. Doc studied his hawklike eyes, straight nose, and wavy brown hair, all so similar to his own, he couldn’t fucking believe it.
Lucas crossed his arms, drumming his fingers, his chin lifting in defiance.
Doc’s heart nearly stopped, remembering how Juliette used to call him an arm drummer. He glanced at her over the boy’s shoulder.
As if she’d read his mind, she nodded.
Doc forced himself to take a good, hard look at her and saw the truth staring back at him. Battling anger at her betrayal, he tried to quiet the questions in his mind as he returned his attention to Lucas. To his son . His heart ached and filled up at once. “I’m sorry. You’re right. That’s no way to speak to a woman. Juliette, it seems we have a lot to talk about. I’ll be around all night. You know where to find me.” He looked at Lucas, his throat thickening. “I won’t raise my voice at her again. You have my word on that.”
“You better not,” Lucas warned. “Next time I won’t be so nice about it.”
“ Lucas ,” Juliette chided. “Sorry, Seeley.”
“It’s okay. I have a feeling he comes by it naturally.”
“YOU’RE NOT REALLY going to go see him, are you?” Lucas asked as Seeley drove away on his motorcycle.
Juliette was still stuck on the things Seeley had said. He didn’t believe what she’d said back then? He’d never gotten her letters? He’d gone to her house? To her school? None of that made sense. He was so angry, it was hard not to want to believe him. But she knew better. She had the letter he’d sent telling her he wanted nothing to do with her or their baby.
So the real question was, what kind of game was he playing?
“Yes, I am,” she said, and went inside.
Lucas followed her. “Mom.”
She needed a second to get her head on straight and went into the kitchen for a glass of water. Because guzzling wine when she was angry wouldn’t set a good example for Lucas.
“Why are you going?” he demanded. “Why was he even here? I’ve never heard the name Seeley in my life, and suddenly he’s showing up at our house and yelling at you?”
She took a drink, considering her response. She hadn’t been much older than Lucas when she’d fallen in love with Seeley, and this was not how she’d envisioned their lives panning out. Sometimes she had to remind herself that Lucas hadn’t grown up hearing her argue with Josh, or any other adult for that matter. She’d cut her parents out of their lives so long ago, he’d been too little to remember those arguments. She didn’t want him to think it was okay for adults to yell at each other, either, but she’d held on to so many years of hurt and anger, she couldn’t have stifled it if she’d tried. It sounded like Seeley couldn’t either, but that didn’t make him a bad person.
“I told you we have a complicated past. We were important to each other a long time ago, and things didn’t end well.”
“So? Why bother with him after all this time?”
Because he’s your father, and I never stopped loving him . “He lives in Hope Valley, and now that we’re living here, there’s a chance we’ll run into him again. I don’t want any bad blood between us. After I grab a sweatshirt and check on the horses, I’m going over to talk to him.”
He crossed his arms. “Then I’m going with you.”
“ No , you’re not,” she said firmly. “You’re going to stay here and do your homework, text with your friends, play your games, and not worry about me .”
“But—”
“Lucas, this is not negotiable. I know you’re not used to seeing me argue with anyone, and you’ve witnessed two uncomfortable interactions with Seeley, but sometimes adults argue, the same way kids do.”
“You never argued with Dad,” he retorted.
Her heart was breaking. She felt like she’d spent her entire life hiding and lying, and she had to stop. “Yes, I did. We argued a lot. We were just careful not to do it around you.”
He set his jaw, drumming his fingers, looking so much like a younger Seeley, she felt a pang of longing and pain, underscoring why she needed to get to the bottom of the things Seeley had said.
“Honey, I love that you want to protect me, but that’s not your job. Your job is to be a teenager, and to focus on school, enjoy your friends, take care of the horses, and try not to give me any more heart attacks when you’re bull riding.” The doctor had suggested he take a few days off before he got back on a bull, and although Lucas had fought her on it, he’d abided by her rules and would return to practicing next week. “Okay?”
“Whatever,” he grumbled.
“Get over here.” She tugged him into a hug, and he stood rigid, his arms at his sides. “I’m not letting go until you hug me back.”
He huffed and finally hugged her.
She held on a little tighter, hoping she hadn’t totally screwed up their lives.