Chapter Nine
AFTER FINISHING HIS evening rounds, Doc checked his phone for the umpteenth time and cursed at the blank screen. It had been a hell of a day, and he’d hoped to hear from Juliette by now. He’d been up half the night sick with worry about how the truth would affect Lucas, and he hated not being there when Juliette broke the news to him. But to Lucas he was an outsider, and he trusted that Juliette knew what was best for their son.
He was still grappling with the fact that he had a son and trying to decide what to do about Juliette’s asshole father.
He pocketed his phone as he headed out of the clinic to catch dinner at the main house and found Dare and Cowboy leaning against a UTV, their arms crossed, their cowboy hats firmly in place. Last night he’d gone to see his parents after Juliette left and told them what was going on in a furious explosion of hurt and anger and a deep-seated need for vengeance. His parents were as angry as he was at what Juliette’s father had done. His mother had shed tears over what Juliette had been through, for the time Doc had missed with his son, and the years they’d missed out on with their grandson. Doc and his father had talked into the night about retaliating against Juliette’s father, and this morning he’d explained the situation to his brothers and Sasha, and they were as angry as the rest of them.
They’d all checked in with him throughout the day, but their hovering didn’t bother him this time. This was a lot to deal with, and they were worried about Juliette and Lucas, too. He eyed his brothers curiously. “What’s going on?”
“We missed your pretty face.” Dare smirked.
“How’s Queenie?” Cowboy asked.
Queenie was the name Doc had given the rescue horse who had been in critical condition when she’d come in yesterday. He’d named the other horse Contessa, the regal names chosen to give them back some of the dignity that had been stolen from them. They’d been found tied to trees, left to starve in an empty field. They were emaciated, with varying degrees of cuts, skin infections, hair loss, and injuries. If Doc ever found the fucker who’d done that to them, he’d put the asshole six feet under. “She’s strong. She’s hanging in there.”
“Good, and you?” Cowboy asked. “Any word from Juliette?”
Doc shook his head. “Not yet.”
“Then get your ass in the vehicle,” Dare said.
“Why? Where are we going?”
“To get some grub,” Dare said.
“And don’t even think about telling us you’re not hungry or you want to be alone, because that shit ain’t happening,” Cowboy added.
“Anyone ever tell you you’re a pushy motherfucker?” Doc asked as they climbed into the vehicle.
Cowboy chuckled. “Just about everyone I know.”
“Have you decided what to do about Juliette’s old man yet?” Dare started the UTV.
“Not yet. I called Reggie Steele. He’s seeing what he can dig up on him.” Reggie had grown up in Trusty, Colorado, a nearby town. He was a private investigator whose brothers were Dark Knights in the Harborside chapter. Reggie had been instrumental in connecting Sully with her biological sister and helping to shut down the cult she’d escaped from. Doc also asked Reggie to find out what he could about Ana, the housekeeper Juliette had given the letters to, and to track down Ana’s brother, who had supposedly given those letters to him.
When they pulled up to the main house, Birdie’s yellow Camaro was driving into the parking lot, music blaring out her open windows, and she was singing “Can’t Tame Her” at the top of her lungs. It was one of her favorite songs.
“I’ll catch up with you guys.” Doc headed for Birdie’s car. His I’m fine responses to her texts earlier in the week had finally put an end to them, but he hadn’t had a chance to fill her in on what went down yesterday.
She parked and climbed out of her car, belting out the lyrics and dancing, oblivious to the lack of music and to Doc closing in on her. She wore bright pink cowgirl boots, a wide-brimmed pink hat, and a one-piece blue-and-white leopard-print shorts romper with flouncy sleeves.
He crossed his arms, chuckling to himself as she swung her hips into the driver’s side door, slamming it shut, then threw her arms over her head and began singing a different song. Something about slowing down and making it last as she spun around, nearly colliding with him, and let out a surprised squeal.
“How’s it going, Bird?”
“You tell me. You look kind of serious. Is something wrong? Oh crap . Sasha didn’t tell you about my date, did she? I’m going to kill her. I told her not to say anything.”
“What date ?”
She barked out a laugh. “I’m kidding! I love doing that to you. You should see your face! But seriously, after everything that went down last weekend, I did you a solid. You’re going to thank me. I met the perfect girl for you, and I even got her number.”
“Birdie—”
Hands flailing, she said, “Hear me out. You know what they say. The best way to get over a woman is to get under a new one. Or, I guess in your case, on top of a new one, or behind her. Anyway, I know you’ve gotten around since you and Juliette were an item, but those other women were just extended stays, and I really like this girl. She could be the one.”
“Birdie, stop .”
“Why? I think you’re going to really like her.”
“I’m not in the market for a woman.”
“You always say that, but then you’re with someone a few weeks later.”
“I’m done with that.” He leveled her with a serious stare. “Listen to me. It turns out that kid that was with Juliette at the hospital is my son.”
Her eyes bloomed wide. “Your son ? Holy shitake mushrooms. Really?”
“Yes. His name is Lucas. I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else first.” He told her the whole sordid story.
“Ohmygod. Doc .” She touched his arm. “Are you okay? Is Juliette okay?”
“Yeah. It’s a lot to deal with, and I’m worried about them, but I’m looking forward to getting to know Lucas, and Juliette again .”
“And pummeling her father, I hope. You must want to tear him apart. I want to tear him apart. I bet Dad’s ready to mess that bastard up good. I want to know who wrote that letter and what happened to the letters she wrote to you .”
“We don’t know any of that yet. But I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”
She sighed and shook her head. “A secret baby. A second chance at your first love.” Her eyes brightened. “This is like reality TV, only better.”
“Can we skip the extra drama, please?”
“Sorry.” She reached into her pocket and held her fist out toward him. “I think you need these more than I do right now.” She opened her hand, revealing three individually wrapped truffles.
He smiled. “I’m good. Thanks. Let’s go eat.”
She put the chocolates back in her pocket. “Didn’t Dad ever teach you to wrap it before you tap it?”
“ Jesus , Birdie.”
She laughed. “I couldn’t resist.” She wrapped her hand around his arm as they headed up to the entrance. “God, Doc. You’re a dad .”
“Pretty wild, huh?”
“I’ll say. And I’m an auntie.” She beamed up at him. “I’m going to be the coolest auntie ever . Sasha can be the calm, responsible auntie, and I’ll be the one he comes to for dating and fashion advice. He’s cute. I bet he’s got a flock of girls after him.”
“How about we let him get used to the idea that I’m his father before you get him riled up about dating?”
She sighed dramatically. “Fine.”
Doc opened the door for her, but instead of walking inside, she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight. He put his free arm around her. “What’s this for?”
She smiled up at him, looking sweetly impish. “I thought you could use a hug.”
“Thanks, Bird.” They headed inside.
“I’ll always have your back. I guess I need to find a new wingman.” As they walked past the two-story gathering space, heading for the dining area, she said, “Since you’re off the market, maybe I’ll work on finding Dwight a woman.” Dwight Cornwall was a retired navy commander and a Dark Knight. He’d worked at the ranch since Doc was a teenager.
“Maybe you can lay off your matchmaking missions, since they never seem to work.”
“Where have you been? Sasha and Ezra would never have gotten together if I didn’t push her to kiss him.”
“I don’t even want to know,” he said as they walked into the dining area.
Laughter and conversation rang out from around three large farmhouse-style tables and the buffet, where people were filling their plates and chatting. Between Doc’s family, the men and women who worked and lived on the ranch, and the clients who were going through their programs, nearly every seat was spoken for. Doc couldn’t remember a time his family hadn’t eaten a meal with the people they worked and lived with. This was all he knew, and after the summer he’d lost Juliette, it had become his saving grace. This place, these people, his family , was all he’d ever wanted.
Until last night.
Juliette had claimed such a big part of him when they were younger, he’d felt like a piece of himself was missing ever since. As overjoyed as he was that she was back and they had a shot at a second chance, he couldn’t shake the feeling that another piece of himself was missing. But while he’d always known exactly what Juliette’s missing piece looked and felt like, this new missing piece was elusive. Like a shadow, undefined yet present. Leaving him unsettled and desperate to fill in the blanks, aching to spread his wings and gather his son and Juliette beneath them, so nobody could ever hurt them again.
“Who missed me?” Birdie called out, drawing him from his thoughts.
Several people shouted greetings, Gus’s chirpy voice rising above the rest. “Birdie!” He ran over and threw his arms around her. “Did you bring me any chocolate?”
“I sure did.” She handed Gus a chocolate, and he tugged her over to the table where Sasha, Ezra, Dare, Billie, Cowboy, and Sully were sitting with some of the ranch hands.
Tiny looked over at Doc and lifted his chin in a silent question. Any news?
Doc shook his head, and his father gave a curt nod.
Doc headed up to the buffet and grabbed a plate and a bowl, stepping into line beside his mother, who was perusing her options. Dwight never failed to make something for everyone. Tonight they had beef-and-sausage chili, homemade biscuits, vegetarian lasagna, and an array of salads and other vegetables.
“Hi, sweetheart,” his mother said with a compassionate smile. She looked pretty in a green blouse and jeans. “How are you holding up? Any word from Juliette?”
“Not yet.” He put some chili in his bowl.
“They have a lot to talk about. It could take all night before you hear something.”
He looked at her with new eyes. She had been there for him through his roughest times and shittiest attitudes, had taken his late-night phone calls when he was at his wit’s end over one thing or another during college and vet school, and had never once made him feel bad about unloading on her. She had a knack for listening and for easing him off the ledge without pushing or preaching. It was that innate ability that drew the truth from him now. “The wait is killing me. I want to be there for them, and I can’t if I’m not physically with them.”
“I understand why you feel that way, but giving Juliette the space she’s asked for is being there for them. The hardest things in life are the ones we can’t control, and Juliette has had to deal with more than her share, and from what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like she’s had anyone other than Hazel to help her through in a very long time.”
“And that relationship was tainted by her father.” That truth tasted bitter.
“That’s right. I’m sure a big part of Juliette would love nothing more than to hand over tough conversations like the one she and Lucas are dealing with and let you handle it. But it sounds like she’s too strong of a mama bear to do that, which is a good thing. Parenting is hard, sweetheart, but as difficult as this is for you, it’s even harder for them.”
“I know, and I hate that, too.”
She put some lasagna and a biscuit on her plate. “I’d like to throttle her father for the crap he pulled.”
“Throttling is too good for that bastard.” He grabbed a biscuit, but he didn’t think he could stomach anything. As they stepped away from the buffet, he asked the question that had been eating away at him. “I remember what it was like to be a teenager. Those were confusing years, and sometimes anger would come out of nowhere. What if it’s been too long? What if I never get a fair shot with Lucas?”
“Oh, honey. With patience, understanding, and love, there’s always a way. It might have felt like your anger came out of nowhere, but it didn’t. It came from thinking you knew best and wanting to do whatever you wanted, rather than what you had to do. That’s typical teenage behavior. Lucas’s world is going to be turned upside down. He may not want to hear the truth right now, but one day he will, and when he does, that’ll be your chance to show your son that what that awful man did is not how we treat our own.”
“I hope I get that chance. What if I fuck it up?”
“You’ve never messed up anything that you cared about.”
“Yes, I did. When I saw Juliette’s engagement announcement, I believed it. I should’ve known she’d been forced into marrying someone else. I should have fought harder.”
“Do not fool yourself into believing that. We were all given those facts, and we all believed them. We were grossly deceived. And I know you, sweetie. You won’t screw this up.”
He wasn’t so sure. “I know nothing about parenting.”
“But you know how to love. The parenting stuff will come. Every teen pushes their parents to see where the line lies between loving them and giving up on them. Your job as a parent is to make it impossible for him to find that line because it doesn’t exist. When Lucas tells you he hates you—which he will, because all teens do at one point or another—when he calls you names or says you don’t know squat, you set him straight so he knows the pecking order. But you also tell him you love him, so when he rests his head on his pillow at night and his feelings are darting like pinballs from badass teenager to guilt-ridden kid over the things he’s said or done, the one consistent thing he feels is that he’s loved.” She touched his cheek. “That’s what we’ve always done with each of you.”
As she went to sit with Tiny, Doc thought about the night he’d gotten drunk, intending to hunt down Juliette’s father. When Tiny had hauled his ass out of that truck, Doc had fought with everything he’d had, punching and cursing, shouting all the things his mother had just mentioned, and worse. His father hadn’t even flinched. He’d grabbed Doc by the shirt, lifted him off his feet, and pinned him against the side of the truck, looking him dead in the eyes as he said, You think killing a person makes you a man? Think again. All that hate you feel for that motherfucker will turn inward, and you’ll be rotting in a prison cell, unable to look in the mirror at the monster you’ve become. And that sweet girl you love? She won’t be able to look at you, either. Doc had been ornery enough, and drunk enough, to continue shouting horrible things at him. His father had hauled him forward, getting right in his face, and said, You want me gone? You’re gonna have to turn that gun on me, because I love you too damn much to ever give up on you.
Doc’s phone rang, startling him from the memory. He pulled his phone from his pocket, his heart thundering at the sight of Juliette’s name on the screen. He put the phone to his ear, turning his back to the others. “Hey.”
“Is Lucas there?” Juliette sounded frantic.
His gut seized. “No. Why would he be here? What happened?”
“He was so upset, he stormed out to the barn. I thought he needed time alone to cool off, but when I went down there, he and his horse were gone. I went looking for him on the trails, but it’s been almost two hours. I thought he might’ve gone to confront you. But now that I’m thinking about it, you’re too far away, and—”
“I’m on my way. Stay there in case he comes back, and don’t worry, darlin’. We’ll find him.” He strode across the room to his father.
Tiny must have sensed the gravity of the situation, because he pushed to his feet, lifting his chin in question.
“My boy’s missing.”
“I’ll rally the men,” Tiny said.