Chapter 2
I’ve been lying on my bed for God knows how long, still staring at the ceiling when someone knocks on my door. Luke doesn’t bother waiting for me to let him in. He closes the door gently behind him and comes to sit on the edge of my bed.
“El’s,” he murmurs when I turn onto my side, curling on myself as I offer him my back. He puts a hand on my shoulder. “He promised he would let me announce it to you. I was waiting after dinner to not ruin it.”
“Well done. Dinner was lovely.”
He sighs, pulling on my shoulder so I’m on my back again. “You’ll dance again. It just doesn’t have to be your job. People who stay in Stoneview don’t become dancers, El’s. They’re CEOs, attorneys, politicians. That’s our lives.”
There’s a reason we all work in the same industries, marry each other. We have incestuous relationships to keep power within our elite group.
I know how deeply this runs. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. The Stoneview elite isn’t just a pretty circle of rich people.
We control the world.
I think of my naivety and the organizations I volunteer at that have aims of saving the world. Of helping the less fortunate. It helps my conscience, but it won’t change anything.
The world is controlled by the people I see every week. Oil, mines, dirty politicians, underground organizations. Those are the ones in power.
And above them all? Stoneview Community Foundation. A pretty organization behind which hides what only a selected few know as the Silent Circle, its members known as the Shadows. And that’s where my dad wants Luke and I to stay.
I feel sick only thinking about it. Knowing the things I’ve participated in when it comes to this secret society.
“Then maybe I shouldn’t stay in Stoneview,” I mutter more to myself than to Luke. Some sort of revelation that this might be the only solution I have.
“You still have cheer. How’s that going?”
SFU has a strong sports community, and the cheer team competes in many U.S. cities.
“I’m the best. Of course.”
He flashes me a gorgeous smile. Perfectly straight teeth that my dad paid for when he was a teen.
“I’m so fucking mad at you,” I huff, even though there’s no hate in my voice. I don’t blame my brother. He has no real influence on the decisions my father makes.
“I’m sorry.”
I look at him, giving him the tiniest hint of a smile. “Life must be so good in L.A. Surrounded by your model girlfriends and far away from dad.”
“You’ll join me if you go to law school. We have a legal team in L.A. and one in N.Y.C. If you want to be away from Dad, come to my side of the country.”
“I don’t think my skin would like the sun all year long.”
He chuckles, then looks at his phone. “I’m going to meet the guys for some drinks. Probably at Chris’s. Wanna join?”
That should be an easy decision. Chris Murray is studying at Yale, but he’s likely back with his parents for the holiday season. He’s not far. Our closest neighbor.
A deflated sigh leaves me. How I wish it would be as simple as it was in high school. Luke and his friends were older, but they’d always let me hang out with them. They were the kings of Stoneview Prep, and I felt invincible by their sides.
“I’m going to get some sleep,” I tell him.
“It’s barely ten. Come on.” He shakes me. “It’ll help you deal with the news.”
I offer him a pinched smile and shake my head.
Sliding out of bed, I walk to my desk and sit down, picking up a pen.
“I still have a few holiday cards to fill in. Dad wants me to distribute them to his closest friends.” We eye each other for a second, knowing the closest friends are members of the Silent Circle.
Luke walks over to me, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “Trust me, El’s, I know this is the best decision for you.”
“You don’t,” I push through gritted teeth.
“I’ve been in this fucked-up world for longer than you have, and I’ve managed to survive dad and the Circle.
Being an attorney means you can be away from here.
It’s better for you to work for him than end up being one of the wives.
Take the opportunity at having a tiny slice of independence.
It’s that or be like mom. I know that’s not what you want.
You’d shrivel down and die inside if you were in her place. It’s a way to give you freedom.”
“Dad isn’t doing it for me.”
“No. It was my idea.”
“What?” I choke on the news.
“You are not the kind of woman who could be a Shadow’s wife. You know that as much as I do. Working for dad will protect you from that. If you have a different use than being a housewife, you’ll be safe from an arranged marriage. That’s all I care about.”
“But…I could be a dancer. That’s—”
“No use to him.”
“He just doesn’t believe I can do it.”
“You could do anything with the Circle’s influence, El’s. But are you willing to pay the debt you’ll owe?”
“I could do it on my own!” I snap.
The look of sadness kills me.
“You don’t believe in me either, do you?”
He runs a hand through his hair, pinching his lips. “I can’t take that risk. You’re my little sister. The last thing I want is for you to end up in the clutches of a Shadow, stuck in a loveless marriage with a sicko who’s never been told no in his entire life. Like Mom. I’m doing this for you.”
My eyes drop to the Christmas cards in front of me. Every year, I have to write them and go hand them out myself to every Shadow in town. It takes me forever, and I have to do a little every day. Those are the last few I’m going to deliver tomorrow.
They’re black with gold dust, stars sparkling, and gold writing saying Merry Christmas from…to… The background is as dark as the Shadow’s souls.
Inside, there’s a cryptic message my dad had me write.
Merry Christmas to you
Relish a new order
A new year awaits if you wish to stay.
I know it has something to do with confirming the member of the order is welcome to be part of the Silent Circle for another year.
Sometimes, people don’t get to stay. If they lost value or if they don’t bring anything to the Circle anymore, they’re kicked out.
Because my father is part of the board, he’s the one who gets to send the renewal of their membership, as I like to call it.
But I’m confused as to why he is talking about a new order.
I sigh. I can’t even blame my brother for what he’s done. What if I did end up useless but for becoming a housewife. I don’t want to marry a Shadow from the Silent Circle. I want independence.
“Law sucks,” I huff.
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Luckily two of my best friends are starting law school. And one of them is a genius. So, you’ll have all the help you need.
” His pale eyes darken in the low light.
“Just never ever ask dad to use his contacts to help you pass, Ella. The Shadows don’t give anything for free, and their prices are heavy. ”
I gulp, nodding, then I gather my courage. “Are you—”
He cuts me off before I can formulate the question. “You have to marry to be a full member. Show you have everything in place to give an heir and continue the legacy.”
“Right…” I smile at him. “And God knows you can’t keep a relationship going for more than a few weeks.” I try to lighten the mood.
Luke and I rarely talk about the Silent Circle, and I don’t want it to ever get between us.
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Or maybe I’m doing it on purpose. No wife, no way dad can ask me to level up in ranks.” He shrugs. “I’m fine being a nobody in that world.”
He messes my hair and grabs the pen in my hand. “Now, come on, let’s go have a few drinks with my friends. Chris will be so happy to see you.”
But I shake my head. “This conversation took everything out of me.” I stand up and go back to my bed, hoping he doesn’t notice I keep finding excuses.
Because I can’t tell him the real reason I don’t hang out with him and his friends anymore.
That Chris and I dated behind his back for months while he was a senior and I a freshman.
That he broke my heart because he didn’t want to keep the secret from Luke anymore but didn’t want to tell the truth either. That his friendship with my brother meant more than the supposed love he had for me.
That when I see Chris now and hear him talk about Yale, his girlfriend, and his new life without me…it feels like he personally digs his hand inside my chest, fists my heart and rips it out of my body.
No, I can’t tell any of that to Luke. I’m not sure what his exact reaction would be, simply that nothing good would come out of it.
I wave him goodbye from my bed, hating him a little for reminding me of my ex even if he has no idea.
Chris and I were never meant to be a thing.
The summer before my freshman year, I remember grabbing a coffee together while we were waiting for Luke to get a suit fitted.
He’d been respectful, sweet, made polite conversation.
He didn’t even mention once that I was starting high school a year late. The typical Chris we all knew.
Then I joined the same high school as him.
Stoneview Prep has a gym that students can use whenever, and we bumped into each other there one morning. Turns out it was a habit of his to go before school started every day, and it was in my plans to do the same.
After a week or so of exercising separately, he started helping me with weights.
That’s how this whole stupid thing started.
The heat of his skin at my back when he’d help me lift. The whisper of his breath against my neck when he leaned down to encourage me.
Chris is known to be the calmest and nicest of their group of crazy bastards.
I love my brother, but he’s been a playboy for as long as I can remember, and the other two in their friendship group were the worst at getting in trouble.
They like to think of Chris as the one who lays down the law.
The one they can come to for advice. The protector.
He was far from a virgin angel, but everyone in our school knew Chris as the nice one.
Easy to say when the three others were the literal reincarnation of sins.