Chapter 2 #2
What people forget about Chris Murray, is that no one can get between him and his goal. And the moment we started spending alone time together, I was his goal.
The moment he decided he wanted me, there was nothing I could do to stop it.
He wasn’t forceful about it. He was unapologetically smart. Softly controlling. He was flirting in a way that seemed so natural, I didn’t realize until it was too late. All I knew is that anytime he was close, I felt different. And anytime he showed he cared for me, I felt special.
I’ll drive you tomorrow. There’s no point using two cars when we’re neighbors and come here at the same time.
He was picking up his towel and water bottle when he said that, making his way to the men’s locker room before I could even think of a response. He didn’t ask anyway. It wasn’t a suggestion. He simply told me his plan.
Had I not been blinded by his shy smile and caramel hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, I might have realized that if he drove me to school…he’d have to drive me back too.
I didn’t fight it. I just followed whatever it meant.
The next morning, he picked me up from my house and told me to wait by his car after school.
I did. My brother didn’t even notice me, too taken by whoever his current girl was to see me when he walked to his own car.
I stood there until most people had gone home and Chris came down the marble stairs of our elite school and into the parking lot.
He walked out alone that day rather than with his friends, and the satisfied glint in his eyes should have warned me that he liked being listened to. He liked when I did what I was told.
Knowing him the way I do now, I can bet he was biting his tongue that day. Forcing himself to swallow back the good girl he wanted to give me as a reward.
On the first evening he dropped me home, he simply smiled and told me to say hi to Luke for him. The next morning, he asked if I did, and I told the truth.
I didn’t.
His knowing smile should have told me that it was a test. That he wanted to see if I was telling my older brother, his best friend, that we were spending time together.
The second evening, he got out of the car with me, using his jacket to shield me from the rain as I walked up my driveway.
On the third night, he squeezed my thigh with his big hand when he said bye, and when I turned to look at him, he put a hand on the side of my face.
Your eyes are truly mesmerizing, Ella.
His thumb caressed my cheek softly, and I remember parting my lips, hoping for something else. I didn’t know what, just something…more.
He nodded at me, approval bright in his honey eyes, the dimple on his left cheek showing when he smiled.
He’s always had that boy next door look. Too cute for the darkness he hides so well. Too handsome for the things he truly likes to do. The only element of his physique that reflects his soul is how tall and imposing he is. Larger than life, capable of protecting me from anything.
Except himself.
Every single evening that week he dropped me home except for Friday night. Because he knew his friends would be waiting for him at his house. The four of them always partied on the weekend. But that one was different. It was his eighteenth birthday.
And it turned out that I had been invited.
I didn’t see him the whole night. Everyone wanted a piece of Chris.
Birthday parties that included one of the kings of our school were a big deal.
By the end of the evening, I’d lost all hope to even get a minute of his attention.
And I hated it. I didn’t know how it happened, but somehow, he’d gotten me hooked up on his brand of caring.
On his firm gentleness. On his low, soft voice.
I was suddenly aware that I was part of all the other girls that night who were craving Chris Murray, the good guy of their group.
And it was embarrassing.
Even more so that I stayed until the very end in the hope to see him, but he had gone to the basement with his closest friends. With my brother.
My friends were already waiting for me to leave, feeling sorry for me while reminding me they’d warned me not to get involved with anyone from that group. I’d had enough drinks that I needed the bathroom before leaving.
That’s when he found me.
He followed me when I went all the way to an upstairs bathroom. I was a little too drunk to notice him, and it startled me when he slipped in with me, closing the door and blocking the way out with his gigantic body.
I was at loss for words, like most of the time around him.
I tended to lose myself around Chris. He would lead the conversation, so eager to know who I really was, and I answered anything he asked.
Every single morning at the gym, he would get to know me better.
Nothing superficial. No, he wanted to know who I was inside.
How do you feel about Luke leaving next year?
How has it been starting high school a year late?
Why were you so eager to get on the cheer team?
What do you want to do with your future?
But at that party, the questions to know who the girl Ella Baker was disappeared. He wanted to discover the woman.
I am not a quiet girl. I wasn’t back then either. Like my father always likes to say, I’m opinionated. I defend the people I love and the people who can’t defend themselves fiercely. I don’t keep my mouth shut. I’m not rude, but I’m not shy, not problematic but not compliant.
It was different with Chris.
His energy takes your breath away. Forget about putting defenses up, he’ll tear them down. Carefully, with a beautiful smile on his face.
I struggled to take a breath when he slipped his hand behind him and locked the door, keeping his eyes on me.
You weren’t going to leave without wishing me a happy birthday, were you?
The beat of my heart was uncontrollable. Every thump reverberated through my body, ringing in my ears, warming my blood.
His caramel hair was curling just at the top of his ears, a few strands falling on his forehead. He’d drank that night, which was quite unlike him. His whiskey eyes were shining with mischief, but there was something else. Longing. Regret.
I thought you should know Jake tried to get me to partake in a threesome tonight.
My heart dropped. Ice crawling up my veins.
Everyone at school knew of Jake and Chris’s sexcapades.
Jake was the worst of the four of them. Even Luke was an angel next to him.
If anyone could drag Chris to hell with him, it was Jake White.
And while Chris wasn’t ashamed of enjoying sex with beautiful girls, he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
Jake was constantly cheating on his girlfriend.
I had never felt more stupid than I did at that moment in my life.
I think I should also tell you he almost succeeded. To be completely honest with you, I’m drunk. I don’t often let him make me do something I’m not really into, but I didn’t really have the strength to fight it. And I put my hands on her.
Now, that was the time I never felt more stupid.
Oh, was the only thing that really came out of me. Okay. And that.
I prayed the disappointment wasn’t obvious on my face, but when I saw the reflection of it in his eyes, I knew there was no point fighting it.
I think it was probably the most stupid thing I’ve ever done. He said it so simply. Because it was the truth. I stopped it. I left them behind.
It took all my strength to ask, Why?
Because I only make mistakes when I think they’re worth it, Ella.
He was wearing blue jeans and a simple white shirt. Always elegant. Always easy on the eye.
And his voice. It was so deep, so confident.
Like what? I asked.
My entire being wanted to be that mistake, but I didn’t dare believe he had chosen me. That if Chris Murray was going to break rules, it would be with me. And that it would be worth it.
He bit his lower lip, but it still didn’t stop the smile spreading on his face. He had, and still has, a slightly chipped front tooth. A stupid fight, he had explained to me. Getting Jake out of trouble as always.
When he took a step toward me, I was frozen on the spot, a wide bathroom counter behind me.
I’m going to kiss you, he warned me. It was the first time I heard something ominous in his voice. And I would suggest stopping me now if you don’t want me to, because once I start, there’s no going back.
With some kind of magic, he managed to make me forget all about that girl who he almost partook in a threesome with.
All that mattered in that moment was that he chose me over her.
I didn’t even think of my brother back then, only of my heart.
I didn’t think of the risks I was taking by letting Christopher Murray, one of the kings of Stoneview Prep, near me.
As I said, he was no virgin angel. Despite his discretion and respect for the girls he slept with, the rumor mill never spared him, and I knew he wasn’t celibate. Far from it.
He was close to me when I asked, no going back? For how long? There’s no future in what you’re trying to start.
He put his palms on the counter, on either side of me, caging me in.
You’re mine for however long I decide, Ella. When I want something, nothing can get in my way. Not your brother. Not the age difference. Not even you. He smiled, almost politely, giving me time to register his words. So, do you want to give in now or another time?
He waited. It took me a minute to understand he actually wanted an answer. So, with my neck strained from looking up at him, my eyes wide from the shock, and my skin burning from the need to have him touch me, I whispered, now.
He voiced his approval for the first time.
That’s a good girl.
And who knew those words would be my downfall?