Chapter 16 A Full Moon Ruins Everything…Does It?
A FULL MOON RUINS EVERYTHING… OR DOES IT?
RAYA
I gather up the pillows strewn across the bed and begin lining them up.
“You might as well not even try," Asher interjects. “It’s not like they stopped you last time.”
I don't have the courage to meet his eyes as a mortification ices down my spine. Instead, of course, a tingling shift flits over my body, but it’s not a partial shift this time. The air crackles around me and before I know what’s happening, I'm enveloped in clothes, and I'm tiny.
With a terrified squeak, I start thrashing around, trying to find a way out of the suffocating pile of fabric when a massive hand pulls me out. I'm sitting flat in the palm of none other than the devilish vampire.
My heart rate skyrockets and my entire mouse body trembles. My equilibrium is thrown off when the hand moves, and I scramble on my newly formed miniature paws to keep myself upright.
Asher arranges the shirt I had been wearing into a round nest, then carefully settles my mouse body into the middle of it. He slides off the bed onto the floor, where he looks much less like a real life giant and more like just a very large head.
I burrow into the shirt, inhaling the sense of safety that comes with it, which is quickly followed by horror.
I am a mouse.
Not only a mouse nose, or whiskers, or fur, but an entire freaking full-bodied mouse and this is quite possibly the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
I wasn’t sure if I would ever fully shift into an animal, and if I did, I didn’t know what it would be like.
I can’t say I like it. Maybe if I go outside, a hawk will swoop down and save me from this misery.
Before I can further contemplate the merits of this plan, a shushing sound comes from the large head a few feet away from me.
“Shhhh, Raya, it’s okay. You’re safe," he whispers. “Raya, sunshine, I’m sorry.”
My ears perk up at that. Sorry?
“You’re okay. I won’t hurt you.” He speaks quiet and slow. It’s the same way I’d talk to a terrified child. “You can have the bed, I’ll sleep on the floor.”
Well that’s not what I want.
With another wave of tingles, my body rapidly expands and reforms itself. I get a glimpse of Asher’s eyes widening before he whirls around.
I don't blame him. I’ve seen my parents shift, and it isn’t pretty. At best, it looks weird, with the bulging muscles and reforming limbs, skin and fur trading places. Kinda gross, honestly.
Still, his rejection stings a bit.
I scramble into my clothes, then let loose a full body shudder.
“Are you decent?” Asher’s muffled voice comes from the other side of the bed.
“Yeah,” I sigh, resigned to my fate. “I’m dressed.”
I flop down on the bed, burying my face in a pillow and deciding to never be around another living creature during the full moon ever again.
The bed dips as he tentatively perches on the opposite edge, safely across the pathetic pillow wall.
“I…” he swallows hard, then clears his throat. Apparently he’s too appalled to speak. Again, I don't blame him, but the sting is getting sharper.
He sighs and scrubs a hand over his face.
“Shit, Raya, I’m so, so sorry.” He sounds devastated, and when my head pops up to try to figure out what the heck is going on now, his eyes look devastated too.
“What?” My voice is a little high pitched and squeaky, but I push the humiliation back.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I’m really sorry, I was teasing, but I shouldn’t have.”
How did he know he embarrassed me? I do my best to wave it off.
“Nah, you’re fine, it’s the full moon. It’s making everything a hundred times harder than it needs to be this week.”
“Even so, I apologize.” He sounds so earnest as his eyes blink sincerity at me.
“Thanks.” My voice is soft, and I offer a tentative smile.
“Maybe you didn’t notice earlier, what with the whole shifting thing, but I wasn’t complaining," he says.
“What does that mean?”
“It means I liked it, sunshine," he says, and my eyes widen as the meaning of his words sinks in. “I liked having you pressed up against me this morning. I like the feel of you in my arms.”
My eyes flare. That is not the direction I saw this going. I rest a palm on my forehead, staring straight up at the ceiling. When he doesn’t move, I shift my eyes to where he’s still barely sitting on the bed.
“You can sleep here. I won’t freak out again.”
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he says, then adds, “or hurt you if you shift again while sleeping.”
I ignore his concerns, pursing my lips and patting the bed next to me. Asher sighs, and I can’t tell what the meaning of it is, but he pulls back the covers and slides in next to me regardless.
Feeling the sheets move against my skin and knowing it’s due to his proximity is enough to light up my nerves.
I try to relax, but my entire body is tense as I pinch my eyes shut.
It’s like his presence next to me has the weight of a bomb; I'm waiting for it to go off at any second, and I don't know if I’ll survive the fallout.
After an eternity of sharp silence in which I barely dare to breathe, Asher grumbles something under his breath, then rolls onto his side.
His arm snakes around my waist and pulls my body into his, my back to his front, no consideration at all for the meager pillow wall I attempted to put between us.
Somehow, I stiffen even more, confusion swirling through me when he nuzzles his nose into my hair.
I don't protest though; I can’t deny this is what I’ve been wanting.
His body relaxes against me with a contented sigh, and I focus on matching my breaths to his—instead of on the panic threatening the edges of my mind.
The first thing I notice when I wake up is the hard rod pressing into my backside.
My whole body flushes and I involuntarily arch into him.
My heart rate picks up and starts to pound, throbbing through me.
Asher must sense it because as soon as it spikes, he begins to stir.
He runs his nose up along my neck, stopping right above my racing pulse, his breath ghosting over my skin.
“Don’t tempt me like that first thing in the morning, little shifter.” Asher’s voice is rough with sleep, deeper and more gravelly than normal.
“What? I’m not doing anything," I whisper, not trusting that my voice won’t come out breathless with want.
“Your heart is racing. It’s calling to me.” He drags his teeth along the tender skin where my neck meets my shoulder, sending a shiver down my spine. “Tempting me.”
His last words rumble through me as his lips move against my neck.
I try to tell myself that my pounding heart and goosebumps are a result of fear of this terrifying vampire who has me at his mercy, but my sleep addled brain doesn’t agree, and I speak before I can think better of it.
“What does it feel like?” I whisper again.
“What?” he whispers back this time, and I bite my lip. His mouth is still millimeters from my neck.
“If you… you know…” I angle my neck the tiniest bit, but it’s enough for him to catch the movement, and his chest rises against my back with a sharp inhale.
“If I bit you?” He pretends to bite me, lightly pinching the skin at the base of my neck between his teeth, causing me to suck in a quick breath and freeze.
My emotions are all over the place now; there’s definitely some fear mixed in at this point as my shifter instincts respond to the threat of a vampire at my neck, but there’s also undeniable lust threading through me as my insides turn molten with the feel of his body pressed against mine.
I offer a hesitant nod in response, and his lips ghost over the indents his teeth leave in my skin as he releases me.
“It feels however I want it to feel. It can hurt.” At this he lightly drags his teeth from my outer shoulder to the base of my neck.
“It can be numbing.” This time his elongating fangs scrape up my neck and behind my ear.
“It can bring pleasure…” His words flutter over my skin and his fangs graze the shell of my ear before he sucks my earlobe into his mouth.
It’s at this moment that I realize the full effect he has on me. My thighs are clenched together with my ass pushing back into him, and I’m straight up panting. Like a dog in heat.
Or a turned on shifter during the full moon.
I gulp in air and swallow some of it on accident while trying to wrestle control of my senses back from him, causing me to choke as my earlobe pops out of his mouth.
His lips curve against my ear into what I’m sure must be the smuggest smirk to ever grace this plane of existence. I choose not to give him the satisfaction of confirming it by looking.
It takes me a few seconds to compose myself before speaking again, and I ignore the breathiness of my voice when I finally respond.
“I didn’t know any of that was possible.”
“It’s all about intention.” His nose is in my hair again, his fingers tracing patterns over my lower stomach. “I told you all you have to do is ask, and I’ll happily make you feel the best you’ve ever felt.”
I don’t respond—don’t know how to respond—but I don’t pull away either, and he takes that for the yes that I mean it to be. Asher kisses lightly along my ear and neck, and as he nips at the sensitive skin, he tightens his hold around my waist.
I’m forced to let out the involuntary whimper that’s been hiding behind my lips this whole time, and he loosens his hold when he hears it.
Pulling back from me, Asher raises himself on one elbow, angling his body over mine as he admires me quivering beneath him.
“Later, little shifter," he says, lightly tracing the line of my neck with one finger and following the path with his eyes. When my throat bobs under his touch, his gaze flicks back up to mine. “Now, we practice.”
“Wait, what?” I scramble up, my body chasing after his without my permission, but he’s already across the room and closing the bathroom door behind him.
Stupid, horrible, evil vampire.
I slap a hand to my forehead, then swipe it down my face.
“What just happened?” I whisper, voice muffled by the hand covering my mouth in what I’m absolutely, positively sure must be one hundred percent horror, with no hints of desire to be found.
Besides, if there were any, they’d obviously be due to the full moon and not the sinful vampire I’ve been sharing a room and bed with.
The shifting practice that morning doesn’t go as well as the day before. I’m not able to shift on purpose, but I do feel more centered and stable, and I focus on my inner animal presence again. It’s getting easier to differentiate it from myself.
I attribute the mediocre progress to my emotions going haywire from Asher’s bedroom antics this morning.
Despite sharing a bed with him, I’ve been getting better sleep than I have since this random shifting started over a year ago.
It makes no sense, as I should be more anxious and uncomfortable in such close proximity to him, but I’m responding opposite to that.
Not to mention, it’s becoming incredibly difficult to focus when he’s anywhere near me.
I still can’t wrap my head around it; it feels like we’ve been dancing around each other forever, even though we’ve only known each other for a matter of weeks.
It could be that weird phenomenon that happens when you’re in a new place so everything feels different but normal at the same time.
That’s how I’ve been feeling, and it makes me dread returning to Portland.
I’ll have to come clean to Zuri about Asher, which is sure to be a disaster.
There’s no way I can tell her everything though; what would Zuri think about me wanting to be bitten? I shudder.
Insane. That’s what she’d think.
There’s no way I can deal with that right now. I’ll be as honest as I can, without revealing too much about how close we’ve gotten.
On top of that, I’m not sure how to handle our work relationship back in the office.
Are we allowed to date? I need to look into the corporate policy on office relationships.
Not to mention that I suspect I’ve been wrong about him.
He doesn’t seem like the horrible person I’ve been led to believe he is, although I remind myself that I don’t know him well yet and it could be an act.
I file these thoughts away for later and focus on my phone, scrolling through my itinerary. It’s our last day of meetings before we fly out tomorrow, and it’s looking pretty boring. On the bright side, we’re being treated to a nice dinner tonight, so I have that to look forward to.