Chapter Twenty-Three
W as it my imagination or was Stephen more distant lately? I scrolled through ten days’ worth of texts since the bonfire at Jillian’s and came up flat. They seemed normal enough, maybe a bit reserved, but maybe I was just whacked in the head too.
I bounced on my bed—or rather the bed I was borrowing from my sister—and realized I could either sit there and dissect it until my brain split open or I could choose to ignore it and focus on something else. I pushed on my abdomen. It was heavy and crampy, and I wished my damn period would just get here already because I was aggravated as hell.
That was it. That had to be the problem. I stood up and bounced around the room instead. I was just out of sorts and not thinking clearly. I needed to take a walk or something. It was a warm early Sunday evening, and I’d been cooped up in the house all day analyzing Stephen’s actions and eating jelly beans. It was time to get my life back. It’d been long enough .
I stepped out into the hallway. Emily was still napping, Sam was probably either cooking or cleaning something, and Paul was tinkering with crap in the garage. I left out the back door, hoping to avoid seeing him, when I heard a familiar voice.
Christa? What business does she have here? I walked towards the garage. Since I’d blocked her, she hadn’t bothered me. Unlike Dre, she hadn’t tried sneaking through a different number.
“Get away from me, you fucking perv.”
I couldn’t hear Paul’s response, but I poked my head around to see Christa pushing him away.
“What the hell’s going on?”
“You’ve got a visitor,” Paul said, digging through his toolbox.
“That creep tried putting his hands on me.”
Paul chuckled. “Get over yourself, girl. I was just talking.”
“Fuck if you were.” Christa waved her hands around. “I came up, asking if Perry was here, and you took that opportunity to move in on me.”
He tossed aside his rag. “You got a screw loose, you know that?” He went into the house, shaking his head.
Christa shivered. “Now I have to spray myself with Lysol. Can you believe that asshole? Yeah, of course, you can. You know what a sleaze he is. I’ve never had him try and touch me before, though. He said he was just talking. Ha. He’s the fucking demented one.”
“What are you doing here?” I said calmly. I’d been doing well—well enough—and I didn’t want to undo that by seeing her face. Although, too late for that.
Her posture relaxed and she sighed. “Oh, Perry. I miss you so much. I thought if I gave you enough time…. Well, I thought maybe you’d be more willing to hear me out. Please, just give me the chance to explain.”
She was ripping me open all over again. Not that I’d healed completely, but I was trying my best to put it out of my mind and move on. It’d only been a month, but it could probably be a year, and I’d still feel the sting from her betrayal.
“Everything was already explained to me that day in the shower. My eyes got the details—vividly.” I could barely look at her yet, much less talk to her. “Leave now, Christa. There’s nothing more to say.”
I headed back to the house. “I love him, Perry,” she blurted out, and I paused. What? “I know it’s wrong to have fallen in love with Dre, but I still did. I would have never done something so horrible to you over a casual fuck. Please believe me.”
“You shouldn’t have done it to me anyway. You loved me too.”
I quickly went inside, not wanting to hear anything else. I was whirling from what she’d told me. She loved him? How was that even possible?
Sam and her scum-sucking husband were both standing in the kitchen when I entered. I was on the verge of losing it. I didn’t trust Christa, but I believed every word she’d said about Paul.
“Your little friend gone?” he asked. That verge just fell out from under me.
“Why, were you hoping to have another shot at groping her?”
“Perry!” Sam’s mouth dropped.
“Ah.” Paul flicked his hand. “They’re both nuts.”
I walked over to my sister and held her arms, talking to her quietly. “We need to have a serious conversation. You can’t keep living like this. Emily is getting older—do you really want this to be the example you set for her? I used to think he was a decent-enough father, but I’ve changed my mind. How can he be a good father when he’s whoring around right in front of her? When he disrespects you? Do you want to teach her that it’s okay to be treated this—”
“That’s enough, Perry,” she said, pulling away. I was surprised I got in that much before she stopped me.
He let out his little chuckle. “You’re not believing this garbage, are you, Samantha? ”
When she didn’t respond, I could see his whole demeanor change. He wanted a solid no, and he wasn’t getting it.
“People make mistakes, Sam, but that’s not what Paul’s do—”
“Shut it,” he said.
“What he’s doing is making the decision to cheat on you over and—”
“I said shut your mouth.”
“And he’s practically flaunting it and doesn’t care because he knows you’ll bel—”
“You hard of hearing, girl?” His jaw was clenched tight, and the little vein was starting to poke out of his forehead.
“Perry, please.” Sam looked uncomfortable, like she’d rather sweep it away just like every other day.
“Just minutes ago, he was out there in the garage coming on to Christa while you were right in the—”
Paul pointed at my face. “Shut your mouth, you damn slut.” I heard Sam gasp and I stepped closer. I wanted to break that finger. “You and your friend. You’re the only lying whores around here. Now pack your shit and get out of my house.”
“Paul….” Sam touched his arm right as Emily started crying. Dammit.
I stormed off to my soon-to-be ex-room, and Sam went to get Emily. Hopefully, Paul found something productive to do, like splash acid in his eyes.
One of these days I had to get through to her, but I guess this wasn’t the one. With luck, it’d be before Emily figured out what was going on.
It barely took me any time to pack my stuff, considering a good chunk of it was still at Christa’s. This was becoming a joke. Musical homes—where would I land next?
I went to my car, thankfully not having another run-in with the bastard, and immediately began searching for cheap hotels. I really had no other option at that point. I hadn’t saved up enough for my own place yet, considering I was contributing money while at Sam’s. And now it would take me even longer if I had to pay for a bed every night. I definitely had to find something cheap. As long as it was safe and didn’t have roaches, I didn’t care what kind of shack it was.
I found a motel not too far away for sixty bucks a night, so I booked it right away. At least that was one less thing to worry about. Then I called Stephen.
“Perry… everything okay?” He sounded a bit surprised. I usually texted, not called.
“It will be. Hey, I’m really in the mood to have a drink or ten. Do you want to meet me somewhere?”
He didn’t say anything right away. That wasn’t good. “I’d love to but….”
“Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s fine. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Shit . I’d probably just interrupted him with some woman. I could practically see it. Ugh. Now I wanted to splash acid in my eyes.
“No, Perry. Wait. You’re not disturbing me. I can’t meet you anywhere because I can’t drive. I rolled my ankle this afternoon playing basketball and I have it iced right now.”
“Oh.” Okay, that was better. Not that I wanted him hurt, but…. “Sorry to hear that.”
“You can come here if you’d like. I’m sure you can find a drink or ten, and then you can tell me why you want them.”
“Oh.” That was different. I’d never been to his place before. I felt a bit too excited over seeing it. Almost giddy. “Yeah, okay. That’ll work.”
Another twenty minutes or so and I was pulling up to the curb. Huh. He lived on a city block with a small yard, and it couldn’t have been more different than his sister’s. Just like with his car, I was expecting something else.
I went up the walk and yelled through the open door. “Hello.”
“Come on in, Perry. ”
There was a mudroom at the entrance so I kicked off my shoes, then rounded the corner. Holy shit! He was lying back on the couch with his leg propped on the table, wearing a T-shirt and shorts. I’d never seen him so casual before. Do not stare at his legs, Perry. Do not stare. Dammit.
“Does it hurt bad?” At least I had a reason to ogle him.
“No, it’s fine. I just need to keep it cold and wrapped, and it’ll be good to go by tomorrow.”
“Can I get you anything?”
“I should be asking you that. It’s my place.”
“Don’t be silly.” I noticed an empty beer bottle on the table. “Another beer?”
He smiled. “Sure. And help yourself to whatever I have. If it’s not sweet enough, there’s a full bag of sugar in the cabinet.”
“Ha-ha.”
It wasn’t as if I needed directions to the kitchen since the place was tiny enough. I went through what I guessed was the dining room and ran smack into the fridge. Aww, there were pictures of Daniel on there. Hmm. A few magnets, one shaped like a pizza slice. On the top sat a blender. I was suddenly fascinated by everything. I looked for any evidence of a female but couldn’t find one.
I opened the fridge door and checked that out as well. A couple containers of leftovers, eggs, milk, ketchup, barbeque sauce.
“Did you get lost?”
“Very funny.”
I pulled out his beer and then grabbed some bottled strawberry daiquiri thing for me. I removed the caps, then went back into the family room only to get flushed again at the sight of him. It was the closest I’d seen him to naked.
Shut up, Perry .
“I see you found something.”
I took a sip. “It’s not what I’d expect you to have on hand. ”
“I had people over and someone’s girlfriend brought it.”
I plopped down on the couch. I hated that things went to hell at my sister’s, but I was really glad to be with Stephen right then. It’d be much easier if I weren’t so attracted to him, or if he were gay like Stu, but it was what it was.
“I like your place,” I said. “What I’ve seen of it, anyway.”
“You don’t think it’s too small?”
“Well sure, if you’re having a huge, fancy dinner party or something. Otherwise, no. It’s cute.”
He seemed to like that for some reason. I drank probably a quarter of my bottle, then set it down on the table. It was rushing straight to my head.
“Maybe I’ll just stop at the one. I’m feeling a bit tipsy and still have to drive. And you know, work tomorrow.”
I hadn’t really thought those parts through earlier when hoping to get smashed.
“You’re tipsy over a few sips of malt liquor?”
I shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a cheap date.” My phone sounded in my purse and I pulled it out.
Where are you? Are you okay?
I texted back, I’m fine. We’ll talk soon. Kiss Emily good night for me.
“My sister,” I said, setting the phone on the table alongside my bottle.
He nodded. “Why’d you call me today?”
“To hang out. I needed a good friend, I guess.”
“Tell me why.”
I sighed, leaning my head back. “I had a fight with my sister’s asshole husband.”
Stephen straightened up. “Did he hurt you?”
“No, nothing like that.” I felt a little warm and fuzzy by his reaction. “I just went off about something, but he deserved it. I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut at times.” Although, this time I really didn’t regret what happened; I just wished I would’ve waited to get Sam in private first.
“It must’ve been bad enough for you to leave.”
“Well, I kinda had to. He kicked me out.”
“He kicked you out ?” Stephen didn’t look too pleased about that.
“Not literally.”
“So, what now? Are you going back home?”
I laughed. “Ah, no. That won’t be happening.”
“Then where? With… Dre?”
I shook my head. “It’s all good, Stephen. I already booked a room at a motel.”
“What? No. You can stay here.”
My jaw plummeted and my pulse skyrocketed. “No, I can’t.” Unless I was passed out, I would never get any sleep knowing he was so near.
“Sure you can. I have a spare room. You don’t need to pay for one.”
“I already did, Stephen. That’s really sweet of you to offer, but no.” My stomach growled. “Can I order a pizza or something? I’m starving.”
“Yeah, the number’s on the fridge.” I know . I stood up. “But Perry? This topic’s not closed.”
My frenzied heart and I went into the kitchen. He was being way too nice, and how could that not affect me? He’d never acted out of line with me, and he did things for me without expecting anything in return. He thought I had a boyfriend, for God’s sake, and he was still going out of his way. I knew we were friends but….
I had the sudden urge to tell him what I did to Jillian. I didn’t want that secret between us. Maybe if he knew just how much I could react at times without thinking, he wouldn’t be so quick to open his home to me .
“Get an extra large,” he yelled. “Sausage and black olives on half, whatever you want on the other. There’s cash in the drawer by the stove. Use that.”
I didn’t expect him to pay, but it wouldn’t do much good arguing about it. I placed the order, then sat back on the couch waiting for the delivery guy.
“I have a confession,” I said. He raised an eyebrow. “I can be a little impulsive sometimes. Do and say things without thinking them through first.” He started laughing. “What’s so funny?”
“ That’s your confession? I was expecting to hear something I didn’t know.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “I didn’t finish.”
He curbed it down to a smile and waved his hand. “Then by all means.”
“Remember that Sunday night you asked me to meet you at Wengo’s, but I couldn’t because I was watching Emily?” He nodded. “Well, I finished early and decided to stop by and say hi.” I’d leave out the in-between stuff for the time being.
“You did? What time? Maybe I’d already left.”
“No, you were there.” He gave me a strange look. “I saw a blonde woman kissing you, and I thought she was your date.”
He tilted his head like he was trying to figure it out. “I didn’t kiss any woman that night.”
“It was Jillian, but I didn’t know that at the time. Not until I met her at her house.” I looked away. “And when she kissed you, uh, it was just on the cheek, but I overreacted.”
“Overreacted.”
“Yes, I’m getting to that.” I took a deep breath and glanced over. He wasn’t doing very well hiding his smirk. “You walked away to the bathroom or something, and then she headed over to me and… I did something really childish. I took her drink out of her hand and threw it at her. Then I stormed out. We never even spoke to each other. ”
“You….” He busted out laughing. “What?” His laugh got deeper and he slapped his leg. “Oh man. She told me someone knocked her hand and that’s why she was wearing a vodka club.”
“I guess technically that was true. I’m sure I knocked her hand sometime in the process.”
“Why didn’t she say anything?” He wiped his face. Why was this so funny?
“She said there was no point. You have a pretty understanding sister. We talked about it and she’s not even upset.”
He just shook his head and stared at me. “So, why did you tell me?”
“I felt bad about it. You need to know the kind of person you’re inviting into your home.”
“I already know, Perry.” He drained the rest of his bottle. “But what I don’t know is why seeing another woman kissing me brought out that reaction in you.”
My face grew hot. For whatever reason, I hadn’t anticipated explaining that part. “I already told you. I can be impulsive.”
I considered telling him what I did to Dre’s truck to prove that point, but one, I couldn’t even remember what happened, and two, I didn’t want to completely freak him out.
“And I’d just gotten into that fight with Christa right before, so I already wasn’t in the right frame of mind.”
“And that’s it?”
“Pretty much.” Except for the jealousy part, which I was not going to admit. “I do dumb things sometimes, although I’m trying to get better. You should’ve seen me in high school. My parents always encouraged me to be spontaneous, but they probably didn’t expect the wild child they’d created. Not that I’d ever blame them for me being a fuckup. They were great parents.”
He reached over and touched my face. Holy fuck, I’ve been zapped. “Do not ever say you’re a fuckup, Perry. ”
The way his eyes bored into mine. Was it another one of those ‘sharing a moment’ things? It scared the shit out of me.
“Well, I’ve done a lot of fucked-up things. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Until recently, I just hopped around everywhere. I didn’t even go to college.”
“So?”
“Did you?”
“Yeah, but who says everyone has to live the same life?”
I couldn’t imagine Dre ever talking that way. “So you’re not thinking any differently about me right now, about anything?”
“No.”
I was so incredibly overwhelmed by the current moment that I almost couldn’t handle it. I was going to blow apart if I didn’t break away. He’d already dropped his hand, but my skin was still pulsing with his energy. We were feeling each other without touching.
I grabbed my drink and sipped it slowly, wishing the pizza would hurry up. I could sense him watching me, but he didn’t say anything. When the doorbell finally did ring, I jumped up and walked over with the cash.
“Did you take the money from the drawer?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Perry.”
“I did. Don’t worry about it.” I failed to mention that I’d used half of mine too. I paid the guy, then set the pizza on the table. He started to get up, but I stuck out my hand. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Getting more ice. And plates.”
“No, you’re not. I’ll get it.”
“What do you think I’d be doing if you weren’t here?”
I headed to the kitchen. “But I am, so deal with it.” I stacked a couple plates, rummaged around for napkins—which I enjoyed—and pulled another couple drinks from the fridge. I’d decided on one more since figuring out that my buzz was coming from him, not the alcohol. Unless my liver could find a way to metabolize him quicker, I was shit outta luck.
I opened the freezer— what, no ice cream? —and took out an ice pack. Then I brought it all back to the family room.
“Checking out my kitchen again?”
I rolled my eyes. “You wish you were that interesting.”
We ate in silence since our mouths were too full. At least mine was. I couldn’t remember ever liking a pizza so much.
“Mmm,” I finally said after my third slice. “This is fantastic. I wish this place were around by me.”
I paused, then actually chuckled over that. I didn’t have a place anymore. I could pitch a tent right next to Leo’s if I wanted and eat there every damn day. I’d find it more amusing if it weren’t so sad.
Stephen’s expression was gentle. “Cancel the room, Perry. Just stay here.” I shook my head, but it took some effort. The idea of getting into my car alone and driving to an empty hotel room sounded depressing. “If Dre doesn’t even fucking care enough to let you stay with him, then why should you?”
I stopped mid-chew, noticing the way his eyes had turned harder. I swallowed, then washed it down with half a bottle.
“That’s not the problem,” I said softly.
He raked his hand through his hair. “Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be saying anything at all. I never should’ve put you in that position. I just don’t understand why you’re not staying with him if you need a place to go. He’s your fucking boyfriend. And even though my offer is completely innocent, I don’t understand why he’s not here trying to kick my ass for even suggesting it.”
I smiled at his intensity. He seemed like the type to fight hard for someone he loved.
“Dre and I… we’re fighting right now.”
“That doesn’t excuse it.”
I didn’t want to talk about Dre anymore. “Even after I told you what I did to your sister, you’re still offering me a place to stay?”
“Well, now that you mention it, I am a little scared that I’ll wake up in the middle of the night to see you standing over me with a glass of water.”
“I’m serious.”
“Perry, I’m offering you a place to stay. For as long as you need one.”
He wasn’t just saying that night, but for however long. Wow. Pretty sure it wasn’t in his job description to take in homeless employees. And how did that not break policy?
“Wouldn’t the company frown upon me being here?”
“There’s no problem with helping out a friend when she needs it, and it’s only a matter of time before I’m back to my old position.”
“It’s completely innocent?” I asked. He already said it was, but I just had to put it out there again, probably more for his benefit than mine. It seemed more likely that I would cross a line before he would, and I didn’t want that to happen. But God… actually living in his house? Just how long could someone go without sleep?
“Completely innocent. You have nothing to worry about. I want you to feel perfectly comfortable here. At the risk of sounding like an asshole, I tend to lose interest in women after sleeping with them. That won’t happen with us.”
All right then. I was kissing my sixty bucks goodbye, and I was okay with that. I had nothing to worry about. Stephen made it clear. That won’t happen with us . I guess we were on the same page.
I felt so much better.