26. Holly
TWENTY-SIX
HOLLY
I slid the bill and folder onto the customer’s table and cleared away their plates. “Thank you for stopping by tonight. Y’all have a great night.”
“Thanks. You too.” The woman smiled up at me while the gentleman with her pulled the bill folder toward him.
Dinner rush was insanity. I couldn’t figure out what made tonight different than any other, and I certainly wasn’t complaining, but for the first time in over a year, we still had people waiting outside on picnic tables for dinner, and it was well after seven. Usually we were winding down by now, but I couldn’t move quick enough tonight to help bus tables and take orders and deliver food.
The bonus was that it made time go by faster, and while I swerved around tables and chairs to dump the plates in my hand into a bin, I didn’t have time to think of Graham or tomorrow night.
I dumped the plates and took the cleaner and cloth to tables in the old smoking section that needed to be cleaned. The sooner I got the tables cleaned and cleared, the sooner diners could get their food and then eventually, give me a minute to breathe. Luckily for me, since I insisted Caroline take Saturdays off, she and Paul kept Jonah for a sleepover. He was taken care of.
Graham was gone, at least for tonight, and all I had left were the worries I was trying not to think about until Dr. Myers called.
It had all started with stomach pain. At first it was worsening cramps around my cycle. Then the cramps lingered. My stomach swelled slightly, but not really enough for anyone but me to notice due to the fit of most of my clothes. I’d thought I was retaining water. Maybe eating too many fries. But when I started working out, substituting fries for salad, and things continued to worsen, I figured it was time for a visit. I’d convinced myself it was all in my mind for a while. Things in my life weren’t typically good, and since I was actually settled and Jonah was mostly happy and doing well in school, I was just creating a problem in my mind because I didn’t know how to relax and be at peace.
But then my bloodwork came back a little off, according to my doctor. My Pap smear showed inconclusive results.
Now, I was waiting, but everything on Google told me what I’d already started to suspect. And the worry in my doctor’s tone didn’t help. I’d set to searching online, and all the results came back worse than the one before…
Something was most definitely wrong with me.
Cancer . It was the worst possible conclusion to jump to. I was far too young. And yet, it was there every time I searched, making my head spin with fear and worry, not for me, but for Jonah. Of course my life wouldn’t be as pretty as everyone else’s. Of course something else would go wrong just when I finally had my feet on firm footing. It was the way my life rolled.
“Hey, Holly.” I jumped at hearing my name and spun.
“Hi, Emily. What’s up.” I quickly scanned the restaurant.
“Can I help finish cleaning the tables for you? All my customers are taken care of and getting ready to leave.”
Oh, thank goodness. More people leaving meant a slowdown was coming.
And getting out of cleaning? I handed her the cloth. “Knock yourself out.”
While she cleaned the tables, I cleared off the remainder of them. I swooped over to two tables that had moved their plates to the side, and soon I was carrying back an overly filled bin to get back to the dishwasher.
“Hi Jimmy, more work.”
He swiped the back of his hand across his forehead. “Busy night.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t keep you past quitting time.”
“Thanks,” the teenager muttered in that sullen way they perfected. After hiring so many, I knew it well.
After washing my hands and grabbing a quick drink of water, I headed back to the hostess stand. Fifteen minutes later, all the people waiting were seated. I let Emily and Annie handle the tables so they could earn the tips, and I helped with drink orders and cleaning the hostess stand.
“There you are!” Trina said, breathless as she hurried in. “I’ve been calling you. I’m so sorry we couldn’t come hang out with you today.”
I smiled. Trina was lovely. Older than me, sure, but since our kids were all the same ages, the age difference never really mattered. It was when she and Ashley prattled on about married life that I felt like a third wheel.
“What’s up?” I continued wiping down the menus and tucking them in the basket next to me. “Are you alone?”
“No, Cole’s parking the SUV and bringing the girls in. He just got called in, and since I was just starting to cook dinner, I scrapped it. Figured the girls and I could hang out with you for a bit.” She glanced at the restaurant behind me. “Unless you’re too busy?”
“I’m never too busy for you. Everything okay?” Cole rarely got called in.
“Should be. I think someone got sick or something, I don’t know. He’ll tell me later.”
She shrugged it off like it was no big deal, but every time I thought about his job, my stomach tightened into a tiny ball. They saw the worst, and they met people at their worst moments. I’d had a front-row seat to all of it once, and it was something you never forgot.
“All right. Let me get you girls a table.”
“Thanks, Holly.”
As I turned, Junie, and I knew it was her because her quiet voice was permanently stuck at level ten, shouted, “Mommy! We’re here!”
I shook my head, chuckling at the wild one who was still only six, but man, was she a handful. Boys had their own energy about them for sure, and sometimes I didn’t know if Jonah was calmer than most because it was just me and him most of the time, or if it was his personality, but Junie rolled through life like a tumbleweed with a tambourine stuck inside.
I set them out at a table where Junie’s volume wouldn’t pierce the eardrums of the closest customers and set down the children’s menu, crayons, and Trina’s menu.
“Hi, Miss Holly.”
“Ella.” I bent down and kissed her cheek. “How are you today?”
“Good. Mom and Mama Trina took us shopping today.” She held out her hands. Her fingertips were covered in tiny flower stickers. “Look what I got.”
“Oh, that’s so pretty. I like the yellow ones.”
“They’re my favorite, too.” She slipped into the booth all the way to the edge, and Junie bounced into the one on the other side.
“Mama Trina?” I whispered, brows raised in surprise.
“It’s a new thing. Marie seems okay with it, so we’re letting the girls set that pace.”
“It’s sweet.”
She grinned at her stepdaughters and shook her head, like she couldn’t believe this was her life. “It’s wonderful.”
I didn’t know all the specifics of Trina’s life, but I gathered I knew more than most. Since Trina’s ex-husband was abusive and was also now in prison, we didn’t need a bingo card to determine which of our lives had been harder. We’d both had our own unique challenges. I always figured that was why she’d been so kind to me at first. As if the pain and loneliness in me called to some part of her.
Sometimes I was surprised at how kind and trusting she could still be. Although, she’d grown up with a kind and stable family. When she returned to Deer Creek, she had a loving support system, whereas I was still learning how to trust mine.
Other days, I saw the darkness that still lingered in her eyes and knew every moment for her was a battle.
She made me want to be stronger, be a fighter.
“Drinks?” I asked them all once Trina seated herself, slipped her purse strap off her shoulder, and settled it between her and Ella.
“Shirley Temple!” Junie shouted. “With extra cherries!”
“Junie,” Trina warned, and pressed her finger to her lips.
“Please,” she whisper-shouted.
“I can do that.” Junie was the main reason why I had to double our maraschino cherry order.
“Me, too, please,” Ella said, her voice sweet and serene.
“Lemonade,” Trina requested, “and I think we know what we’d like to eat. You girls decided on the way here, right?”
“Wonderful.”
I scribbled down their orders: a BLT for Ella, chicken nuggets with extra sauce for Junie, and the chicken fried steak special for Trina.
“Be right back with your drinks,” I told them all. “And if I have a free minute, I’ll come join you.”
“Perfect,” Trina said.
She reached across the table to open up the crayon box for Junie as I walked away.
I returned with their drinks, praised the girls’ coloring sheets, and played a quick game of tic-tac-toe before checking the rest of the restaurant. There wasn’t a menu in sight, so I took that as a good sign that all the orders were in. Some of the newer tables were already eating, and after checking with Emma and Annie, who assured me all was good, I went and took a quick break.
“Whew.” I sighed as I plopped down next to Junie. Her little body bounced with the movement, and her coloring went sideways.
“Hey.” She frowned at the smudge.
“Sorry, sweetie.” To make it all better, I kissed her cheek.
“You’re busy tonight,” Trina said.
“I know. It was surprising, and I’m thankful, but trust me, I am wiped .”
“I bet. How was the park?” There was a tone I wasn’t sure I liked in her sweet little voice, but I shook it off.
“It was fine. Normal. Jonah was bummed y’all weren’t there, but since you are now , any chance he can hang out at your place tomorrow for a couple hours?”
“Why?” She propped her elbows onto the table, lifted one arm, and dropped her chin onto one of her fists. “Need time to spend alone with the friend you were sitting with at Britta’s.”
So this was why she was here.
“I should have known. Who told you? Britta?”
Trina laughed, and it sounded like sunshine, light and airy and full of goodness. “Please. If you think Mellie wasn’t spreading all the tea to everyone who loves you today, then you’ve forgotten what this town is like.”
Heat burned my neck and rose to my cheeks. When I made the choice to try to knock Graham off his calm, steady demeanor this morning, I hadn’t considered what people would say. “He’s an old friend. That’s it.”
“But he is who you’re seeing tomorrow?”
My shoulders fell. I took a peek around us to make sure it wasn’t anyone who cared about my life enough to listen. “He’s the friend from college, Trina. The one I told you about?”
“The boy ?”
“Boys are gross,” Junie chimed in around a mouthful of nuggets.
“Not Jonah, though,” Ella said and glared at her sister. “He’s nice. Fun, too.”
“Thanks, girls.” I turned back to Trina. “Yeah.”
“How’d this happen?”
I told her the story about camp, Graham showing up to eat afterward, and his plans for the rest of the summer. Her eyes widened with every new fact until they were as large as salad bowls before she finally blinked.
“Do you want my advice?”
“I have a feeling I’ll get it anyway.”
She giggled, and her gaze flicked to the girls before coming back to mine. “Take the risk, Holly. Trust me, I get the fear. I understand the need for self-preservation. I do, truly. But take the risk. Not all of them end badly. I’m living proof that sometimes those risks end up with the greatest rewards.”
She tipped her head to the side. As if I needed the reminder that Ella and Junie were the best things to happen to her.
“It’s scary,” I admitted. “So few things have gone right for me.”
“I understand.” She grabbed Ella’s place mat, slipping it out from beneath the plate, and then grabbed a crayon. She scribbled something on the back and slid it toward me. “Trust me, Holly. I understand fear. I also know we can be afraid and do the scary thing anyway.”
Her fingernail tapped on the paper, and I looked down.
I’m pregnant.
Immediately tears burned my eyes, and I sniffed, careful to keep my tears hidden from Ella’s soulful gaze. Like Jonah, she saw too much and understood far more.
“Really ?” I mouthed.
She pressed her lips together and smiled. There was a sheen in her own eyes as she nodded.
“Holly?” I jumped in surprise at Emma suddenly at the side of the table.
“Yes? What is it?”
“We need some help in the back. Jimmy’s having a hard time with the washer.”
“Okay.” Okay. I breathed out a breath to settle myself from the surprise of Trina’s announcement and all my fears swirling inside me. I slid out of the booth. “Guess it’s back to work,” I told Trina.
“Think about what I said.”
I promised her I would and headed to the back. I hadn’t meant to tell Trina everything, but a small whisper in my brain corrected me. Didn’t you?
Maybe I had. Maybe it was because I knew exactly what she’d say. Sometimes it still felt like I needed someone’s permission to try to have my life be more about surviving. That it was okay to want happiness.
The question was, was Graham the one who could help lead me there? Or was my upcoming doctor’s appointment going to send it all crashing back to the ground?