Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
ZACH
Voices ring out from below, filtering through the whispering aspens, as Sofie and I carry the last of the coils to Henry’s truck. I’m sure a doctor would tell me the work isn’t helping my rib heal, but I love being out here with Sofie.
She climbs into the truck bed and lays her coil in the center of our pile, wriggling it back and forth a few times so it settles into place. I shouldn’t stare at the way she’s bent forward, her perfect curves begging for my hands, but ever since her text, all the ways I want to kiss her have been playing nonstop in my mind.
I’m right here, sugar. Just tell me what you need .
Bracing myself against the growing heat in my side, I hand her each of my coils, watching her concentrate. Her soft blue eyes get serious, and her mouth crimps. It’s so easy to read her.
Does it bother you?
It’s not bothering me right now.
I love that she doesn’t try to hide her feelings.
But it makes me want to be careful with her.
How can I do that when what I want could push us apart?
She settles on the tailgate, her legs swinging below, and wipes her brow, the thick deerskin gloves like baseball mitts on her slender fingers. “This is thirsty work.”
“I think Dustin has lemonade down there.” I offer her the water bottle we’ve been sharing all day.
She slips off the gloves and takes a long sip, the sun glinting off her sweaty forehead, then hands it back to me. “Sometimes, after a work party, we stop for beers at the Knotty Pine.”
I choke on my sip of water. “The what?”
She laughs, a sound that might as well be music the way it seems to harmonize with the aspen leaves in the wind and the sweet chatter of birds. “It’s a bar that’s been open for like a hundred years. It’s dark and borderline seedy, but the beer’s cheap and they have happy hour grub and pool tables.”
I give her a look. “Why is the pine naughty?”
“It’s a kind of wood, silly.”
“You’re making that up.”
“I’m not! I’ll prove it to you as soon as we get internet.”
I could have proven it to her this morning with my raging hard-on. Add in working up a sweat with her out here in the sunshine, and my thoughts have turned downright filthy.
I reach for her waist and lift her down. The pain lights up my side but I can bear it.
“It still hurts, doesn’t it?” Sofie says as I set her down in the grass.
“It’s better.”
“Maybe kisses will help?” She gazes at me with that same longing while her cheeks flush a pretty pink.
I wrap my arms around her waist, bringing us closer. Her body fits perfectly against mine. “Definitely.”
A few months ago, I would have never let anyone get this close to me. It was too dangerous.
“What are you thinking about right now?” she asks in a soft voice.
“How good it feels to hold you,” I say with a sigh.
“Does it scare you?”
I smile. “Nothing gets by you, does it?”
“I think you like it,” she says in that sassy voice that makes my cock twitch .
I lean down to kiss her. She closes her eyes, her lips embracing mine. Her fingers tighten on my waist, and I pull her closer, bringing our bodies in contact, her curves against my frame. The warmth from her body pulses through me. It’s such a simple moment, but it unlocks something inside me, something rich and intense. I kiss her again, my mouth eager. She makes a little sound, like a sigh or a groan. Her hips tense against me, adding delicious friction exactly where I want it. I try to savor kissing her with the sun slowly sinking into the mountains and the soft breeze whisking through the tall grass. I’m lucky to be here at all, let alone be here with her.
Sofie’s lips linger on mine for another moment before she leans back and gazes up at me. “We should go, yeah?”
I smile and rub my nose past hers. “Yeah.”
We climb into the cab and I turn us around, then descend the steep track. At the Y, Dustin and Frances are loading up the table that at lunchtime was loaded with sandwiches and a cooler full of sodas.
Dustin’s paperwork is balanced on a rock, but his topographic map of the project areas has fallen into the grass. I slip from the cab to scoop it up, but I’m drawn in by the pink highlighter and check marks. I trace a contour line with my dirt-stained index finger. Seeing all the work they’ve done like this… it’s impressive.
“Thanks.” Dustin slips the map from my hands and tucks it under the other papers on the clipboard.
“You guys know where the recycling center is?” Frances asks, closing the truck’s tailgate.
“I do!” Sofie answers from the cab.
When I step out of my little shower, my phone is ringing. Only two people have my number, so I hurry into the next room and dig the phone out of my pack. It’s Sawyer.
“Vander OD’d in a random motel room,” he says in a rush. “Died on the way to the hospital.”
“What?” Floris Van der Hoff was a notorious bully in school who became a low-level thug for Kristov. I suspect he’s the one who recruited our classmate Hayden Cole to work for him and is likely the reason Hayden got hooked on smack, which destroyed his baseball career and led to his death. Terrilynn tried to warn him, but instead, it only made her more of a target.
“Happened yesterday.”
“How’d you find out?”
“It was on the news. They didn’t release his name, but it wasn’t hard to piece it together.”
“Think it’s legit?”
“First Terrilynn, then Hayden, now Vander? No fucking way. I think Kristov’s cleaning up his mess.”
He’s right. Everyone in association with Terrilynn and her failed escape is now dead.
Everyone except me.
I try to suck in a breath, but it just hurts my ribs. “You locking your doors at night? Watching your back?”
“Of course.”
I run a hand through my damp hair. It’s getting long again—a reminder of how much time has passed since I landed in Finn River. “Good.”
“Maybe Vander’s death will put the cops on Kristov’s tail. They have to know those two were working together.”
“Maybe.” If only there was more I could do.
“Any more ideas on who jumped you?”
“No.”
“Well, it’s for sure not Kristov. He’s too busy murdering his underlings and running girls.”
“And if it was him, I’d be dead.” Even if it meant hurting Sofie, or worse. My stomach tenses, making me grimace.
“Could Sofie be involved?”
I swallow my frustration. My friend is just trying to keep me safe. “I can’t think why.”
“Not even to protect her brother or her dad?”
Sawyer wasn’t there when I was clinging to the parked truck hood, unable to breathe, fearing for my life. He doesn’t know her father’s fierce kindness, his integrity. Or Sofie’s generosity.
“The brother is a wild card for sure, but he’s leaving for L.A.”
“Blood is thicker than water, bro. Remember that.”
“Truth.”
Sawyer and I end the call, and I toss the phone on the bed, my thoughts spinning.
When I arrive at Sofie’s house, her dusty Wagoneer is parked next to the fence. I pull Henry’s truck alongside and shut off the engine, then take a moment to soak everything in.
The tidy house with the lights glowing from inside, the tall trees framing the yard. The silhouette of the mountains in the distance like a black cutout against a night sky scattered with bright stars.
Nervous energy tickles my gut. Are the flowers I bought too much? Too forward? I haven’t… dated… since my senior year of high school. And even then, it was awkward. Kind of hard to bring a date back to the foster home.
On the road with Burnout Symphony, there were opportunities for casual hookups, but looking over my shoulder every five minutes doesn’t exactly make great mood setting.
I think of what Sawyer told me. Does it mean the cops might be closing in on Kristov, or is Vander’s death a warning of what he has in store for me?
The front door opens and Fergie slips out, followed by Sofie. She’s wearing tight jeans and an oversized V-neck sweater that falls off one shoulder, revealing a lacy strap of lingerie.
My cock jumps to life inside my jeans. I’m not sure what I expected her to wear tonight, but this wasn’t it. Damn.
I hurry from the truck to meet her. She slips through the gate and throws her arms around me. “You’re here.”
I laugh. “Missed me, huh? ”
She’s still holding on to me. “I’m just happy you came.”
This tugs at my gut. She’s used to people not keeping their word. When I leave, will she think it’s her fault?
“Hang on,” I say, remembering the grocery bag in the back seat. “I brought a couple of things.”
“Flowers?” Her gaze warms with appreciation.
I give her the tidy bouquet of white roses while Fergie sniffs my ankles.
“Zach, that is so sweet.” Sofie buries her nose in the flowers. “Thank you.”
Thankfully, I remembered to stash the condoms in my wallet. Not that I expect?—
“We’re having meatless lasagna, if that works?”
“Sounds amazing.” I take her hand as we walk to the house. A rush of heat prickles down my spine.
Inside, warm scents of tomato and basil fill my senses.
Sofie slips the grocery bag from my hands and hurries into the kitchen. I pause, my gaze lingering on the dining room table cleared of the school stuff I remember from my last visit. Tonight, it’s set with cloth placemats and a different colored Fiesta ware plate for each of us. A large jar candle stands in the center of the table next to an empty bread basket.
“We’ll just warm up this bread, and dinner will be all set,” Sofie says, sliding Barb’s sourdough loaf into the oven.
“Root beer floats?” Linnea says when she peeks inside the bag. “And he got the good kind of vanilla ice cream.”
“Life’s too short for bad vanilla.” I shove my hands into my pockets.
“Can we adopt him?” Linnea says with a mischievous grin while she folds up the bag.
After a lively dinner followed by root beer floats over a game of Exploding Kittens, I borrow Sofie’s phone to line up some tunes for dish duty .
When “Dancing in the Dark” comes on, Linnea wrinkles her nose. “Who’s this?”
I recoil like she’s wounded me. “Only the greatest storyteller in music.”
“Yeah, right, didn’t synthesizers, like, die a sad death before I was even born?”
I laugh and roll up my sleeves. “Just wait, he’ll get under your skin.”
Sofie slides in next to me with the stack of plates. “Kind of like someone I know.”
I sing along as I scrub each plate and pass it down the assembly line. My companions just laugh.
“Have you been to one of his concerts?” Sofie asks.
“He’s never come to Alaska,” I say, then realize my slip. Shit.
“That’s too bad,” Sofie says, not looking at me. Does she detect the fear rising up my throat?
“Then he’s probably never come here either,” Linnie says with a sigh. “Nobody cool does.”
“Who would you want to see?” I tell myself that it’s okay if Sofie and Linnea know where I came from. It doesn’t have to be a threat.
Will there be a time when I stop worrying about it so much?
“Imagine Dragons,” Linnie says. “Dua Lipa. Taylor Swift. Not that we could afford tickets, though.”
Sofie sets the last dish on the drying rack. “We can always work something out.”
I wipe my hands on the dishtowel and pull Sofie from the sink, overcome with the need to move. The song is a reminder that dancing is freedom, and I’m longing for it hard tonight.
Linnea watches me dance with a giggling Sofie, her expression a cross between a scowl and delight. “You guys are weird.”
I catch Sofie’s eye as we share a secret smile, and it strikes me that this—someday—could be my life. Spending time with good people, being welcomed into their homes, sharing the day’s highs and lows, sharing our lives.
The idea brings on a wave of yearning for William to be a part of it too. To see his face light up, to hear his laugh. Hell, he and Linnea are close in age. What would it be like for them to grow up together? To give William a normal life. For him to grow up knowing he’s loved, and safe.
Am I on the brink of this someday dream coming true?