Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
ZACH
While Sofie tucks Linnea into bed, I stoke the fire in the hearth. Sofie slips past me to the kitchen, then returns with two bottles of beer. We settle on the small couch with her facing me from the side, her legs crossed. We clink the tips of the bottles.
“What’s Alaska like?” she asks.
Nosy again, huh? I sip my beer. “Big.”
Sofie gives me a flat look. After swallowing a sip of her beer, she sets it on the little table behind her and spreads a blanket across our laps. “Do you miss it?”
I reach for her foot under the blanket. She starts, like she’s ticklish, but when I begin rubbing the arch with my thumbs, she sighs in contentment, an unreadable look on her face. Hasn’t anyone done this for her before?
“I’ll tell you what I don’t miss,” I say. “The mosquitoes in the summer.”
She reaches for her beer, the motion tugging the side of her sweater up, revealing bare skin. I focus on rubbing the arch of her foot in slow, firm strokes. “Is it true they’re nicknamed the Alaska State Bird?”
“Yeah, and rightfully so. ”
“What about the long winters?”
I shrug. From the hearth, an ember pops. “Alaska is a land of extremes. A place that’s truly wild. There are still huge tracts of land only accessible by bush plane.”
“There are wild areas down here, too. The Bitterroots have almost no roads, and access is super limited.”
“I’ll bet it’s pretty out there. Quiet.”
“Tell me what you love about Alaska.”
I think about home and the fireweed that grows so tall it used to swallow William. “Summers. Berry picking. Mountain biking. My best friend Sawyer.”
“Do you keep in touch with him?”
I set her foot down and draw the other one into my lap. Her skin is so soft, even here. “Yeah. He’s keeping an eye on things for me.”
“Your brother.”
I have the urge to tell her everything. Just let it all unspool like a ball of yarn. But it means revealing things about my past I don’t have words for.
“Yeah.”
“He must miss you so much,” Sofie says.
“He’s in good hands.”
She moans as I dig into a taut line of tendon, her eyes fluttering closed for an instant. “Kind of like me right now.”
“Happy to be of service.”
She gives me a sly smile. “Is that what drives you?”
I tug on her little toe. “Want to find out?”
The flickering firelight on her soft cheeks is so pretty, but there’s apprehension in her gaze. A reminder that she deserves the very best care.
Am I capable of that, or is there too much wildness pent up inside me?
I reach for her hand and gently urge her toward me, then lift her knee over my lap. When she settles in, her thighs hugging mine and her body grazing my growing erection, my craving for more starts to spin out of control.
Sofie’s knees tense against me, like she’s feeling it too.
I reach up to cradle her face and tug her to me for a kiss. Her soft lips embrace mine. I lose myself in the sweetness of her mouth and her little tongue flicking against mine, the subtle arch of her hips adding friction and a sharp heat that starts to pulse through me. I caress her bottom and tug her closer. The contact makes me groan.
She sighs and arches her body to me, like she needs more, too. Her delicate fingers slide up the hem of my shirt, and I let her tug it over my head. In the fire’s soft glow, she takes me in, caressing over my chest, my shoulders, and down my stomach.
She leans toward me for another kiss. Her touch on my bare skin is like warm silk. Gentle yet eager. Has she been dreaming of these moments the way I have?
I slide my fingers back and forth along her lower back, under her sweater. She’s so smooth and strong. I picture a warrior princess, or a goddess, with her long hair flowing in the wind and her steady gaze meeting whatever challenges stand in her path.
But there’s the tender, feminine parts of her, too. The nurturing, caring person who sees the best in people, even when they fail her.
I swirl my tongue with hers and ease her sweater up. She helps by raising her arms. Even in the darkness, her curves are a work of art—from her strong, lean shoulders to her soft, round tits to the tiny outline of her navel. I trace down the wide lace strap of her top, marveling how the soft pink complements her pale skin.
“Did you wear this for me?” I meet her gaze.
She smiles, her mouth twitching like she’s fighting back the urge to be shy. “Yeah.”
“Does it match what’s under here?” I caress over her bottom.
“Want to find out?”
I laugh and cup her face so I can kiss her again. “I want to find out so many things, Sofie Whittaker.”
She hums her reply into the kiss, and then she slides off my lap and takes my hand. I let her lead me down the hall, my desire and curiosity spinning together like a whirlpool.
We pass Jesse’s empty room to the doorway partly open next to it. Once inside, I take it all in. The simple queen-sized bed with the yellow comforter and big pillows. The matching white dresser with a jewelry box and picture frames crowding the top. The closet door open ajar with clothes neatly hanging and shoes organized on a low shelf.
I pull her close and kiss her, the sparks inside me catching fire. She caresses my face and sighs.
Then, I shuffle her back to her bed and urge her to the center. With her hair splayed on the pillows and her eyes so bright, she’s so beautiful. I climb next to her and kiss her softly, savoring the hint of citrus from her perfume, and the gentle sigh of her exhale. Our tongues play a lazy game of chase while I brush slowly down her arm and across her bare belly. A tremor moves through her, but her skin is hot to the touch.
“You okay?” I pull back to meet her eyes in the darkness.
She reaches up to stroke the side of my face, a smile softening her features. “All good.”
I kiss her again, teasing her with flicks of my tongue. She grazes her fingertips across my stomach, back and forth. She rolls closer, and I stroke down the lace and over her breast, circling the hardening peak with my fingers. Sofie makes another soft hum of delight, and I glide my fingers beneath the fabric. She’s unbelievably soft here. I stroke and tease, savoring the way her body arches to my touch and the quickening of her breaths.
“Okay if this comes off?” I ask, my voice husky with need.
She helps me slide it up and off.
Her perfect tits practically beg for my mouth, but I take my time kissing down her neck to her collarbone, and finally, to tease and savor her.
Sofie rolls her thigh over mine, hooking her heel behind me like she wants me closer. I suck her into my mouth, gently at first, then with the edge of my teeth.
Sofie gives a needy little purr and combs her fingers through my hair, her nails slicing my skin in a way that’s painfully delicious. I want everything at once—her naked skin against mine while we kiss and touch, her needy groans, and the smoldering look in her eyes when I slide deep inside her.
Kissing down, I slide the button of her jeans free. I pause to kiss there below her navel, the scent of her arousal making me desperate to taste her. Have I thought about anything else these past weeks ?
“Still okay?” I caress her body while I plant soft kisses across her belly.
“You can’t tell?” She giggles.
“It’s my job to take care of you, Sofie.” I give her a serious look.
“Zach,” she groans.
I love it when she makes that sound. A surrender and a plea all at once.
I slip her jeans past her hips and peel them the rest of the way off. Her little knees have a galaxy of tiny scars from what I’m sure have been countless adventures growing up in the woods, and I pause to kiss each kneecap.
“What are you doing?” she asks with another giggle.
“Paying homage to your battle scars.”
She sighs.
Moving up, I caress over the pink lace underwear and kiss the top of her thigh, then nibble lower, grazing my thumb past where she’s plush and needy. Sofie jolts. I take my time kissing and gently stroking, savoring the way she’s breathing in quick gulps and her thighs are quivering.
“You’re going to drive me crazy,” she says, her fingers gripping the comforter.
“I could say the same about this pussy.” I slide the lace to the side and give her a gentle flick of my tongue.
“Oh,” Sofie says like she’s surprised.
I settle between her thighs and dive in for another taste. She’s like sunshine and lemons, and fuck if I am ravenous for it. There is no way I will ever get enough.
“Oh my god, that’s so good,” Sofie says, practically panting.
I start slow, savoring her softness and the way she’s eager yet so vulnerable to me right now. Her little clit hardens, and she starts rocking against my mouth.
“Zach… oh… we should stop.”
I pause to gaze up at her. The earnest, desperate look on her face is unmistakable. She’s on the brink of what I hope is a mind-blowing orgasm, one of many I plan to give her.
“You want me to stop? ”
She bites her lip, like she can’t quite get the words out. “I mean, if you want to move on, to like… other things, it’s okay.”
I prop myself up on an elbow. “What other things?”
“I don’t want you to, like, feel like you need to spend a lot of time down there. I’m ready for whatever.”
Now I get it. “Nobody’s ever done this for you.”
She practically glows pink. “No.”
I gently tug the lace down her hips. “Then no way am I stopping.”
“What if I can’t?” Worry creases her brow.
The lace slips off her toes, leaving her completely bare for me.
“I think you were pretty close there just a minute ago.” I caress over her kneecaps and up her belly. “Will you let me try?”
“You really want to?”
“Want doesn’t quite cover it.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve been dreaming of making you come like this.”
Her eyes practically pop out of her head. “Really?”
I laugh. “Yes, really. Now open those pretty thighs and let me make you feel good.”
She covers her laugh with her fingertips, then yelps when I tug her lower on the bed.
I start slow again, paying attention to her soft sighs and her gasps, and the way her fingers tighten in the sheets.
That she’s been denied before makes me furious, because who made her feel that she wasn’t worth this? What kind of guy wouldn’t satisfy her every desire? But I’m also eager to show her what she’s been missing. Tending to her like this is an honor I’ll never forget.
Her body tenses, and her breaths come sharp and fast. I don’t stop for fear she’ll get self-conscious. I glide slow and steady, circling her needy little clit until she’s shaking against me. When I gently glide a finger inside her, she comes undone. I ride the wave with her, lost to her quiet cries and the rocking of her body against me.
When her climax peaks, she grips my hair, holding me against her for one intense moment. The sharp sting imprints this moment in my heart.
She slides her hand free and melts into the bed, huffing hard.
I release a satisfied moan and lick my finger clean. Slowly, I kiss up her body, pausing at each nipple to lavish her with my tongue. Her limp body jolts, but she doesn’t push me away.
I prop myself on my elbow and caress her belly while she returns to earth.
“That was amazing.” She blinks at me.
I smile. “I certainly had fun.”
She reaches up to stroke my shoulder. “Thank you.”
Our eyes meet in the darkness, and I memorize the tenderness in her gaze. In this moment, she’s not consumed with taking care of others or worrying about what might happen tomorrow. She’s in a rare moment of receiving.
I roll her on top of me. The feel of her soft breasts on my bare chest is incredible. I take a slow breath, stroking down her spine to her lower back, savoring her breaths synching with mine and the way the heat from our bodies connects us in a way that feels powerful, and lasting.
I don’t dare trust it, but that doesn’t mean I’m in any rush.
Sofie strokes down my arm, then along my side. She kisses the top of my shoulder then up to the place behind my ear.
“You always smell so good.” She nuzzles her nose against my neck.
I press my face into her hair and inhale. There’s a hint of that wild rose scent, so maybe it’s her shampoo. “I think you win that prize.”
She gazes up at me with a warm smile. We kiss, her lips embracing mine in a slow duet, then she returns to the back of my ear, then down to my chest. I comb back her hair as she treats me to soft kisses and tender strokes of her fingertips. She feathers over my broken rib and kisses me there.
“I’ve wanted to kiss you better since that night.” She rests her cheek on the center of my chest and strokes softly.
“I wouldn’t have turned you down.”
She laughs. “I was mad at you.”
With a sigh, I caress her hair, letting the silky strands run through my fingers. “I know.”
Her fingertips brush my left bicep, tracing my ink. “What do the snakes stand for?”
I thought a lot about how to honor my past while imagining a future back in those dark days before I fled Alaska. “The way darkness and light are intertwined.”
“Did you design it?”
I raise my eyebrow. “Yeah.”
She leans over to kiss me there. “Does the light win?”
“It’s not a war.” I comb through her silky hair again.
She hums a soft reply, then kisses me lower, lighting up my skin with her soft lips and her touch. Emotions crest inside me like a gentle wave, pricking my lungs and stinging my eyes. It’s painful, but I don’t want it to end.
Sofie caresses over my erection, and I hiss a breath.
With a gentle tug at my jeans button, she slips it free. I help her slide them off, leaving me in just my briefs. My erection throbs with this new freedom, forcing me to take several deep breaths.
“You okay?” Sofie gives me a curious smile.
I bring her hand to my dick. “What do you think?”
She laughs, her eyes sparkling.
“It’s, um, been a while.”
“You need me to go easy on you?” She strokes me over the fabric.
“Fuck no,” I say with a smile. I urge her up so I can kiss her. Our lips meet in a hungry kiss, our tongues flicking and swirling, bringing so many cravings to life inside me. As if she’s reading my mind, she touches me, gripping me over the fabric. I let her explore while our kisses turn heated, my sanity hanging on by a thread.
She reaches into my briefs, her delicate touch sending sparks over my skin. I groan into her mouth and caress down her body, delving where she’s plush and soft and deliciously wet.
“Zach,” she groans again, her thighs tensing. We caress and stroke while we kiss, our breaths accelerating and the heat building between us like embers catching fire.
“I have condoms,” she says, breathless.
This kills me because I meant what I said about taking care of her.
She rolls away and opens her bedside table drawer. I follow, unable to be apart from her, even for this quick chore, planting kisses up her back and wrapping my arm around her waist.
She sucks in a breath, fumbling with the packaging. When she breaks one free, I slide off my briefs and embrace her from behind, the contact of our naked bodies so fucking incredible that I groan. I slide my fingers to her pussy and she arches her hips, bringing her soft, round ass into tighter contact with my cock.
Thankfully, she rolls away—any more of that and things would get messy—and peels open the condom. I help her roll it on, focusing my attention on the task and not how incredible her fingers feel on my cock, and then climb between her thighs.
I stroke her gorgeous face and kiss her gently to calm the raging inferno inside me. As much as I want to thrust deep and hard and consume her like a drug, taking the very best care of her is the most important thing to me right now.
Urging her thighs apart, I rub her up and down. She arches her hips, and I glide to where she needs me. I kiss her again, my lips buzzing and my breaths full and hard, then slowly press inside.
Her face tenses and she gives a little groan. I go slow, arching my hips.
Fuck, she feels good.
She releases a shaky breath, and her eyes flash with heat as her body slowly, beautifully welcomes me. With another roll of her hips, she takes me all the way inside.
Time seems to slow as we move together. I kiss her and she kisses me back, her fingertips grazing my spine and her back arching to get us closer. I nip at her earlobe, and she whimpers. We move faster, our breaths quickening and the bed gently rocking. Her body tightens around me, and her fingers dig into my hips, urging me on.
She comes in a series of soft cries that ring through me like a song. Her joy lights up every corner of my heart, and as my own climax tightens inside me, the emotions I’ve kept at bay begin to unravel.
We’re here together, sharing something so intimate, powerful. But it’s so much more than that. I don’t question how it’s happened, and in this moment, I stop fighting it.
I just feel. Pleasure and agony. Freedom and wildness. Delight and gratitude and recklessness and something raw that I can’t explain. It’s been building inside my heart day by day, moment by moment, crowding into all the dark and forgotten places, making it glow hot and bright.
I shut my eyes to embrace it all as I come undone. Because there are words for this feeling.
I just don’t know how to say them.
Yet.