Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
SOFIE
The Huttons invite us over for dinner a few days after Christmas. They have a new colt they want to show Linnie, and they’ve asked Jesse for help with transferring some old movies into digital. Their boys have been home for the holidays, so it’s sweet they remember us. Or maybe they’re missing Zach as much as we are.
Jesse is coming separately after work, so Linnie, Dad, and I arrive by late afternoon with the sun melting into the snowy forest, the final rays casting the mountains in a pink glow.
When Dad pulls up to the house, Honey and Rex are already racing toward us, tails wagging. Henry steps through the farmhouse door in new Wranglers and a pressed button-down shirt with his shiny silver rodeo belt buckle.
Linnie bolts from the car with her giant bag of carrots but bends low to greet the dogs. Dad and Henry wave, and I follow him toward the house.
“Good thing you brought those,” Henry says, nodding at Linnie’s carrots as if the two of them are picking up a conversation.
From the barn comes a low nicker.
Henry chuckles. “Leo isn’t very patient.” He slips on a coat from inside the house and walks to meet Linnie. “Should we start with him? ”
“Yes!” Linnie joins Henry, and the two disappear into the barn.
Dad and I continue inside. A fire crackles in the hearth, and it smells like baking bread and Barb’s ginger molasses cookies. Zach’s favorite. My diaphragm spasms but I force in a breath.
I knew a visit to Barb and Henry’s would stir up memories, but now that I’m here, they’re more like a whirlpool. It still just hurts so much.
“Come in, come in!” Barb says, her warm brown eyes twinkling with delight as she helps us with our coats and gives us each a soft hug. Inside, the living room is just as cozy as I remember, with a large couch facing the river rock fireplace and a neatly stacked pile of split pine, but with a giant Christmas tree decorated with white lights and what looks like a mix of colorful ornaments and artistic creations from her boys when they were small.
I’m relieved that there are several presents still tucked beneath it so mine won’t stand out. I want it to be a surprise.
Jesse arrives as we’re migrating to the table for dinner, and after quick hugs all around, we’re seated and passing around the good food. Linnie and Henry tell a funny story about Leo and the new colt, and Dad and Jesse talk about a project they want to do together that highlights Big Horn Sheep conservation in the Bitterroots. I try to stay engaged but my mind wanders. When we’re clearing the table for dessert and a car arrives outside, I’m quick to answer Barb’s request to see who it is.
I don’t recognize the car. The bright headlights obscure the dark figure hurrying toward the house, boots crunching over the snow and a duffel slung over his shoulder.
The person looks up as the car pulls away, bringing his face into focus.
Zach.
I stare in disbelief while my heart pounds in my chest.
There’s someone else too. A lanky boy with the same broad shoulders and dark hair. My breath catches. William!
My feet are moving before I can even think to slip on my boots.
Zach’s eyes glisten in the low light as he drops his duffel and rushes to me.
I leap into his arms as he grabs me, wrapping his arms around me so tight. He’s warm from the cab and his wool coat smells of woodsmoke and the scent that’s purely his—a mix of cloves and sweet earth. I inhale it into my memory as he cradles me against him.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” I say.
“Like I could stay away.” He sets me on my feet. In the low light from the house, those deep blue eyes lock with mine. He caresses my face. “God, I’ve missed you.”
A fierce look takes over his face as he leans down to kiss me. Despite the chilly night air, his lips are warm and so welcoming. I kiss him back and our lips turn hungry, making my skin prickle and my belly tense. He pulls me closer to him and I slide my hands around his waist.
Zach releases a soft groan that only I can hear. “I want more of that later.”
I slide my hands into the back pocket of his jeans and tug him closer. “Me too.”
With a soft sigh, he steps back. “Someone I want you to meet.”
I smile through the tears clinging to my lashes. “Hi, William.”
He extends his hand, and I take it. His hand dwarfs mine, but his grip is gentle. “Hey. Really nice to meet you.”
“Come in before you freeze out there,” a voice calls from the doorway behind us.
With a soft smile at me, then Zach, William heads toward the door.
Zach pulls me close for another quick embrace.
“I’m so happy you both came.”
“It was William’s idea,” Zach says, sighing into my hair. “I think it was to shut me up. I talk about you and everyone nonstop.”
When he picks up his duffel, he must notice my socks because his gaze turns playful. “Um, where are your shoes?”
“I was kind of in a hurry,” I reply.
He gives the fly of his jeans a quick adjustment. “I know the feeling. Think we can get away to the barn for a few minutes?”
I laugh. “Maybe after dessert?”
His look turns hungry. “You’re the only dessert I want.”
A needy shiver coils straight down to my core. I take in the longing in his expression, the way he’s focusing on me, and the tight, raw tenderness cracking me open .
He’s here. He came back. Just like he said he would.
In one swift move, he hoists me over his shoulder. Surprised, I try to wriggle free, but we arrive at the doorstep still tangled up and both of us breathing hard. He sets me down just as the door opens again, and we’re ushered inside, where my family and the Huttons are clustered around William, who looks even more like Zach in the bright lights of the living room.
Zach is welcomed with hugs and laughter, but through it all, he doesn’t let me out of his sight. As soon as his coat is hung up and we’re drifting back to the dining room, he reaches for my hand.
Ava’s You’re a goner for this boy, aren’t you? rattles around in my head.
When he treats me to one of his soft smiles, I have my answer.
Later, after my family has gone home and William is set up in one of the Huttons’ guest rooms, Zach and I barely make it through the doors of the bunkhouse above the barn before we’re peeling off each other’s clothing, our kisses eager and our bodies heating the chilled space.
“I missed you so much,” Zach says with a groan, kissing down to take my nipples into his mouth. “Every minute. Every hour.”
I arch to him, the wall cold against my bare back. “You have no idea.”
He drops to his knees and slides my jeans down. “I think I’m about to find out.”
I come on his tongue in a matter of minutes, rocking against him, my hands in his hair, and then he’s folding me over the couch, his belt buckle clattering in his rush. Anticipation sears through me as I breathe in gulps, bracing for him. And then the hot, thick tip of him slides against me.
“Please,” I beg.
He strokes up my back in a slow, sensual caress. “Fuck. So perfect.”
I look over my shoulder and take in the smoldering hunger in his gaze. With our eyes locked, in one smooth thrust, he drives inside.
The stretch is intense. Right on the edge of what I can take. I curl my fingers into the cushions and shut my eyes.
“Breathe, baby,” he purrs.
I try to do as he says, and focus on how incredible he feels. How right.
With a groan, he inches deeper.
God, it’s good. I’m small and tight where he’s firm and thick.
Zach pauses deep inside me to caress up and down my back, and the sensations brought on by his gentle touch while desire starts to burn hot inside me is as wild as it is delicious. As if sensing this, Zach slides both hands to my waist and starts to thrust in a slow, sensual pace. His breaths synch with mine as we move together.
The pleasure builds so fast, coiling from the base of my spine through my chest and shoulders. I lower my head to the couch and set my desires free, surrendering to how badly I need him and how crazy he makes me feel.
And how safe I feel in letting go.
My fragile heart tumbles into freefall but I don’t try to hold her back. For the first time, I let her soar. The tension I’ve been holding, the fear and grief I’ve kept inside falls away, leaving me bare for him, exposed. What’s underneath is a powerful hunger and so much love. It floods through me bright and powerful and so incredibly sweet. My climax rips through me, hard and intense.
“I need more,” Zach grits out.
“Take it,” I pant, lowering my chest to the couch.
Zach pumps harder against me, filling the room with the sensual tap of his thighs meeting mine. It’s intense but so good. He caresses up my back with one hand while rocking me back to meet his thrusts with the other. I close my eyes and give in to the wild craving to be the sole source of his pleasure.
With a groan, he arches deep inside me, pulsing hard. We rest there, our heaving breaths loud in the quiet space, my body feeling so alive, so cherished. He folds over me, planting kisses up my spine, his lips tender. It’s such a delicious contrast to his recklessness just moments ago. How can just one person be everything I need from one minute to the next so perfectly? Like he can read me. Like he was made for me.
He folds me into his arms, then carries me to the shower. Under the warm spray, we kiss and touch. It’s been weeks since he was here but I feel like I need to memorize him all over again. He grows hard against me but seems to be in no rush for what comes next, washing my body like I’m something precious.
We make love again, slower this time, his reverent touch everywhere and his kisses languid and sensual, and fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.
The next day, after a huge breakfast, Dad and Linnie take William ice skating downtown. Zach and I take a long walk in the snow. He tells me about the close friends in Alaska who have been caring for and protecting William, and the upcoming custody case, and about Sawyer, his best friend and lifeline when he left home.
“I saw my mom,” he says as we walk hand in hand.
I try to read his emotions with a quick glance, but he’s gazing ahead. From what little he’s shared, I only know that they’re estranged and that Zach resents the way her choices put him and William in danger.
“She’s standing by Kristov, even though he’s destroyed her.” He kicks at a fallen branch, sending it into the deep drifts lining the path. “She didn’t even show up to the custody hearing.”
“I’m so sorry.”
He squeezes my hand. “It’ll make the process easier, I guess.”
“But you’ve still lost your mom,” I say.
“I lost her a long time ago.” We walk for a while, our hands swinging lazily, with the low sun peeking through the forest, turning the hardened snow crystals to glittering gems.
“Now you get to make a new family,” I say. “You and William. He’s lucky to have you.” That same yearning and hope stir to life inside me.
Zach slows, giving my hand a gentle tug so we’re facing each other. “You taught me how good it feels to belong, Sofie. For a long time, I was scared I wouldn’t know how to raise him, how to help him heal. But you showed me it’s possible.”
“I only showed you what was already there, Zach.”
He takes my other hand, his eyes turning serious. “I need to tell you something.”
My breath catches in my throat. “Okay.”
His eyes tense, and he huffs a breath, like he’s nervous. “And it’s okay if you don’t say anything back. I wanted to say this the first moment I stepped out of the cab. And I wanted to say it the night of the blizzard, and that next morning, but I didn’t want you to think?—”
My chest tingles and my legs feel like jelly.
He cradles my face, those slate-blue eyes so earnest, so trusting. This alone would be beautiful to me, and so precious, but he utters the words I’ve been holding tight in my heart.
“I love you.”
Hope and joy bubble up inside me so fast that my heart flutters like a bird. “I love you too, Zach.”
He closes his eyes for a moment, his long lashes dark against his cheeks. And then he kisses me softly, his lips lingering on mine. I close my eyes and drink in all that I’m feeling.
Zach pulls me closer. “Say it again.”
“I love you. So much.”
With a soft groan, he kisses me again, his tongue flicking with mine. “I’ll never get tired of hearing that.”
I press my hips into his and he slides his hands into my back pockets, urging me against him. “Then I’ll be sure to keep saying it.”
“I like that.”
He kisses me again. “What do you think about marrying a cop?”
My breath catches in my throat. “Depends on the cop.”
He grins. “Me.”
“Hold on.” Gently, I push him back so I can see his face. “Are you serious?”
“Getting married or me being a cop?”
I stare him down. He’s messing with me. “Both.” The word comes out high and breathy.
“Sheriff Olson offered me a deputy position. I can start in September, after I complete the academy.”
“In Finn River?” I ask because I don’t trust my ears right now.
“Unless you’re planning on moving somewhere else after you finish college?”
I stare at him as it all sinks in. He’s choosing Finn River. He’s choosing me .
He grins, as if he can see the petals of my heart opening one by one. “I want to build my life here. Together. ”
“What about William?”
“He’s one hundred percent onboard. I had no idea Finn River’s high school football team is the best in the state, but he did.”
I look at him in amazement. “You’ve really worked hard on all of this, haven’t you?”
“You think I’d come here with some half-baked plan?” His eyes turn serious. He lowers to one knee.
“Zach, wha?—?”
But the joy and pride on his face stops me in my tracks.
“I love you with my whole heart. I am yours, Sofie Whittaker. All of me. And I don’t want to wait another minute to make you mine once and for all.”
The emotions swirling inside me start leaking from my eyes. “I want that too. So much it hurts.”
He pulls a small pouch from his pocket and teases it open. Out slips a silver ring with an oval-shaped diamond.
I cover my mouth with my hands to keep from bursting.
He lifts the delicate ring so the diamond sparkles in the low light. “Will you marry me?”
“Zach, this is… I mean… wow.”
He laughs, and the harmony cuts straight to my core. “Is that a yes?”
“Yes,” I breathe as Zach slides the ring onto my trembling finger. “I love it. It’s perfect. This…” I gaze from him to the snowy woods and the pale blue sky and the glittering crystals, like it’s our own private palace, “is perfect.”
I lean down to kiss him softly, my lips lingering as I take it all in. Maybe we don’t have all the answers, but it’s more than I’ve ever dreamed of. “I love you, Zach. All of you.”
He stands and wraps his arms around me, swinging me around, laughing, filling my heart with so much joy. I laugh with him as the bright snow becomes a blur.
Finally, he sets me down, breathing fast, his gaze bright with so much love. Gently, he strokes my face. “When I look at you, I see my forever.”