Chapter Sixteen
SIXTEEN
NEVAEH
“Forbidden Ink?” I ask, when we pull up to the storefront.
With traffic, it was a little more than a two-and-a-half hour drive to New York.
Ethan wouldn’t tell me why we were driving up here, but that didn’t stop me from guessing.
Of course with every guess, he just laughed and told me he wasn’t confirming or denying.
“It’s a tattoo shop,” Ethan explains. “We have a hotel and casino here, and when I drive up to check on it, I come here to get my ink done. The guys here are the best around. I wouldn’t trust anyone but them to tattoo me.”
He gets out of his car and comes around to open my door for me. “Wait, so that’s what we’re doing here? Getting tattoos?”
Ethan grins. “And a piercing.”
My list! I knew he saw it. “I can’t believe you went into my room and snooped through my stuff.” I cross my arms over my chest and pout. “There’s such a thing as personal privacy, you know.”
“I didn’t mean to,” he admits. “I was grabbing your stuff from your drawer and came across it.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a piece of paper, and it’s then I realize he has my original list, not my new one.
“It’s quite a list,” he says, handing it to me.
I push it into my pocket. “You probably think it’s stupid… Everything I want to do are probably things you wouldn’t even second-guess doing.” I shrug, suddenly feeling the difference between Ethan and me. He’s so experienced, worldly, while I’ve been sheltered my entire life.
“I don’t think it’s stupid,” he says. “I think it’s brave. To force yourself out of your comfort zone.”
“As I’m sure you saw, I haven’t really forced myself out of anything,” I admit. “I’ve had it for years and only when I went to your club and got drunk and kissed you did I even do anything worthy of being on the list.”
“And what a kiss it was.” Ethan waggles his brows and pulls me into his arms. “And now you’re about to cross two more off your list.”
“Will you get one too?”
“I’m not sure how good I’ll look with my nose or belly button pierced,” Ethan jokes. “Although, I could get my dick pierced.”
If I were drinking, it would be all over the place. My face heats at the visual of Ethan’s dick being pierced, and he throws his head back in laughter, the sound spreading goose bumps all over my body.
“I meant a tattoo.”
“I know, but it’s fun to mess with you.” He throws his arm across the back of my shoulders and we walk into Forbidden Ink.
I notice the sign says they’re closed on Sundays, so I’m confused as to why they’re open now, until we step inside and a gorgeous raven-haired woman with beautiful, colorful tattoos running down her arms smiles at Ethan and calls him by name—she must’ve been expecting us, which means she opened just for us.
“Willow,” Ethan says, as she rounds the front desk and gives him a hug. “You’re looking beautiful as always.”
“Such a charmer,” she says back, before giving me her attention. “And you must be Nevaeh.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” I tell her, putting my hand out.
She glances down at it for a second, before she laughs and pulls me into a hug.
“So, I hear you’re a virgin.”
When my body stills, my skin warming in embarrassment, Ethan leans over and whispers, “She means an ink virgin.”
“Oh, yes.” I give her an overly friendly awkward smile. “I’ve never gotten a tattoo before.”
“Well, I’m excited to be the first to mark your body.” She winks.
“She also wants to get pierced,” Ethan points out.
When I give him a wide-eyed look, he laughs. “You might as well knock two items off your list while we’re here.”
He’s right, but I was already about to have an anxiety attack thinking about what to get tattooed. Now I need to consider what to get pierced.
But then Stephen’s words come back to me—Live hard. Love harder—and I’m able to breathe again. I also know exactly what I want to get for my tattoo. Not only are they the words I want to live by, but they came from my brother and every time I read them, I’ll think of him.
“I’d like to get a tattoo that says, ‘Live hard. Love harder’,” I tell Willow.
She smiles and nods. “That’s a great motto to live by.”
“My brother said it to me… before he died.”
Her smile turns into a sympathetic frown. “I’m sorry for your loss. I promise to do it justice.”
“There he is,” a masculine voice says. “It’s been a minute.” The tall man with a thick beard and tattoos covering his arms walks over to Ethan and gives him a handshake.
“Thank you for doing me this solid,” Ethan says to him. “Jax, this is Nevaeh; Nevaeh, Jax. He owns this place with his brother, Jase.”
“I do all your work and you don’t trust me to do your girl’s. I see how it is,” Jax says with a laugh.
“Nothing against you, but no man is touching her but me if you catch my drift.” Ethan glances over at me and winks, and for the millionth time since I’ve met him, I blush crimson.
Jax laughs. “Oh, I get it. Since the day Willow became mine, nobody touches her but me, not even to do her ink.”
“Such a caveman,” Willow groans, but I can hear laughter in her voice. “C’mon, Nevaeh, let’s go back to my station and I’ll draw something up. You said you want a piercing too?”
“I do, but I’m not sure where.”
When she gives me a look of confusion, I explain. “Getting a piercing on a body part other than my ears is on my list of things I want to do, along with getting a tattoo.”
She nods in understanding. “Lift your shirt.”
“Huh?” I give her a perplexed look.
“There are only a few places to get pierced other than your ears: Nose, eyebrow, lip, nipples, naval, and clit.” My legs squeeze together at the mention of getting pierced down there, and Willow laughs.
“Exactly. And you don’t seem like a facial piercing kind of girl. So that leaves your nipples and belly button.”
Lifting my shirt, I say, “I’ll go with my belly button.”
Willow nods in agreement. “You have a sexy stomach. It will look great. Are you a girly girl or a tomboy?”
“Um, I guess a girly girl.” I like pink and to wear pretty dresses.
“How about this?” She reaches into a case and pulls something out. When I get a good look at it, I see it’s a ring. It’s a curved bar and tinted pink. The top has a rainbow-colored gem and the bottom is the same but slightly bigger.
“That’s really pretty.”
“Where are you planning to get your tattoo?”
“I’m not sure.” I look at myself in the floor-length mirror. I want it somewhere I can see but can still hide it when I need to. “What about right here?” I pull my shirt down slightly, exposing the area where my collarbone connects to my shoulder.
“That’s a good spot,” Ethan says, stepping into the room. He runs the tip of his finger along my collarbone and I shiver at his touch.
“I’m also getting my belly button pierced.”
“Willow, you do piercings, too, right?”
Willow snorts. “Yes, caveman, I do.”
She has me lie down on my back and tells me we’re going to do the piercing first to get it over with. After having me stretch my torso, she marks where she’s going to pierce.
“Breathe,” Ethan murmurs into my ear.
I do as he says, and then Willow pierces me. And just like that, it’s done. Another item checked off.
She puts the bar through and tightens the ball on top. “I’ll go over all the instructions with you before you leave. Bottom line, keep it clean. You can check it out while I draw up your tattoo, so you can tell me what you think. Anything in particular you want on it?”
I think for a second. The old me would’ve said a cross to symbolize Stephen being in heaven, but the new me hesitates. Ethan must sense it because he moves closer to me and says, “Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I thought about a cross of some sort, but…”
“Angel,” he says, pulling a chair over to me and sitting down so we’re eye level. “Do you believe in God?”
I notice Willow leaves the room, giving Ethan and me a moment alone.
“Yes.” I might not be on speaking terms with him at the moment, but I still believe he exists. And I believe, despite Stephen making some poor choices, he’s in heaven looking down on me.
“Aside from your brother dying, what made you push your beliefs away?”
“My mom lied to me… to our family. She pushed God and the church on us our entire lives, but the whole time she was lying about who she was and the choices she made.”
“So, your issue is with your mom, not God,” Ethan points out.
“In my life, God and my mom are one and the same.”
“Only if you allow them to be. Tell me something, before your brother died, did you enjoy teaching? Going to church?”
I think about it for a minute. Aside from it feeling like my mom was suffocating me, I did enjoy teaching. I loved my students, and I loved running the youth group. “Yes.”
“Then why would you give your mom the power to take what you love away?”
“Before my brother died, he told me to live hard and love harder. Not to let Mom navigate my life. To live for myself.”
“And who says you can’t do that and still practice your faith?
” He reaches around and pulls my list from my back pocket, opening it up.
“There’s nothing on this list you would go to hell for, Nevaeh.
You don’t have to choose: live for yourself or live for God.
You can do both. You just have to find a balance. ”
“For a man who doesn’t believe in God, you sure are supporting him,” I joke.
“I’m not supporting him, I’m supporting you.”
“What are we doing?” I ask Ethan. It’s the same question I asked him last night, but didn’t get an answer to. Not even a couple weeks ago, I was crushing on him, then I was fearing him, and now… now I’m pretty sure I’m falling for him.
“I’m not sure,” he says, his voice serious. “When I lost my daughter, I also lost my faith. I went through the last twelve years, just going through the motions… until you attacked me in my club. Now you have me questioning everything.”
He rubs his thumb across my bottom lip. “Before I found you at Logan’s, I couldn’t get you off my mind.”