22. Felix
TWENTY-TWO
FELIX
“Are you sure you won’t get in trouble for daring to step foot in Red’s?” I ask a little while later after we’ve recovered from our mutual brain freeze and paid the check.
Or more specifically, Hayworth paid the check.
If I didn’t know any better I’d say he’s a proper gentleman. But I do. I do know better.
“No. It’s going to be fine. I doubt Mrs. Eichenthal will say anything.”
I turn and stare at him. “What?” he asks.
“You do know there are other people around, right? Even if you two keep your mouths shut there are still a bunch of patrons who can tell on you.”
He brushes it off and puts an arm around my shoulders. The move takes me completely by surprise. And if I didn’t know any better I’d say he was being affectionate. But I do know better.
“Awww, you’re so cute!” Elsa coos in front of us and I rush to tell her to walk facing forward before she slips and cracks her head open.
“It’s going to be fine,” Hayworth says and I try to ignore the sensation on my body from where his body is connected to mine. We might be wearing layers upon layers but it doesn’t diminish the effect or the heat pooling at my core, craving more.
“So you’re saying no one’s going to take your head off for being seen defecting?” I ask somehow without cracking or letting show the raging fire inside.
“Oh no, my head will be chopped. But I can grow another one?—”
“Ah like a lizard.”
“Exactly! And I can live with Red’s if I must.”
I turn my head and raise an eyebrow. “Thank you for your honorable service, Mr. Hayworth.”
“You’re welcome, General Spring.”
I chuckle and slip away from his embrace by pretending to dust something off Arya’s coat.
“You Maplewoodians take your clubs very seriously, huh?”
“Our clubs?”
“Yeah.” I shrug and rejoin his side but he doesn’t wrap his arm around me again, which is for the best. “Your Anti-Valentine Club. The diner feud. I dread to think what else you people have got going on.”
“Oh you’re in for quite a ride here in Maplewood. We love our events out here.”
I chuckle but he slips his hand around mine and I end up choking from the unexpected touch. Classy Felix.
“Oh yeah.” I side-eye Hayworth and he looks ahead at the girls as if answering my unasked question. “I can imagine. I mean who else makes a month-long celebration out of Valentine’s Day?”
Hayworth shivers with disgust, in typical fashion for him. He might be holding my hand but at least I know now it’s all for show, if his reaction is anything to go by. Not that I expected him to change his mind about love overnight or something. Not after everything he’s been through.
Wait a minute. Why do I care about Hayworth and his opinions on love? We’re just fucking. And fake dating. But mainly fucking.
“And it’s getting ever worse. You know how Christmas used to be a couple weeks’ worth of hubbub and the more commercial it became, the earlier the ‘festivities’ began?” I nod, squinting at the air quotes he’s doing with one hand. His other one is still holding mine. Yup. It sure is. “Well, Season of Love is seeing a similar growth if you can believe it. It used to be a week-long jam-packed event on the week of, but then they started their stupid speed-dating early in January. Then they added the charity run at the end of the month and before you know it it’s a six-week madness.”
He notices me staring and stops dead in his tracks.
“What?” he asks.
“Nothing.” I shake my head and laugh. “I just love the fervor with which you hate love.”
“Do you?” He wiggles his eyebrows and leans in closer until only I can hear. “Does it turn you on?”
“So badly,” I answer immediately and deadpan.
“We must do something about that, huh?”
I snort and sigh when I notice how far ahead the girls have run. “I’m okay, thanks,” I tell him before I call them back.
“Are you saying you don’t want a piece of this?”
I eye him top to bottom with the most serious expression I can master and shrug. “Maybe later.”
“Oh wow. I must be losing it.”
“Your mind? Most definitely,” I tell him.
He just gives me the evil eye but I ignore him, suppressing my smile.
“Well, you did defect today. Twice.”
“Huh?”
“Once with Red’s.” I point behind us. “And once with the romcom marathon.”
He gasps as if I’ve insulted him beyond repair. “Excuse me. I was just playing along,” he whispers and looks at the girls who’ve just arrived back around our feet.
“Ah okay. Sure. Sure. So you won’t lose your club membership for going with us?”
It is too much fun teasing him. Who knew messing with a love cynic could be so entertaining.
“It’s my club. I do what I want, thank you very much.”
“So the other members won’t kick you out when they find out?”
He huffs and lets out a fake laugh that gets the girls giggling.
“Of course not. I see it as a successful mission. We made those four and a half hours living hell for those attending. I’d say that’s a successful club mission.”
Of course. How could I forget his saboteur activities? He’s not going soft on me. He’s just doing his civic duty as a love hater.
“Besides, this marathon was complete and utter…poopoo?” He smiles awkwardly at me as we all stare at him as if we don’t know what word he was going to use.
“Was it? I thought you liked 13 Going on 30 .”
He shushes me. “Don’t shout these things. I have a reputation to think of.”
“I thought we’re trying to take care of your reputation.”
He ignores my comment as if he didn’t hear me. “Tomorrow’s marathon is going to be so much better.”
I raise an eyebrow and stare at him until he elaborates.
“It’s an Anti-Valentine Club activity. Counter—programming to today’s nonsense. ” He whispers the last part. “The Love Sucks Movie Marathon.”
I pause and sigh. What else did I expect?
“Cool name!” I mock him.
He shrugs me off. “It gets the point across.”
“And what happens during the marathon? Do you play horror music while showing romcoms?” I ask and Hayworth claps his hands together.
“How did you know?”
I can’t help it. I burst into laughter. A laughter that infects the girls. We all stand around Hayworth laughing our asses off and even so, Hayworth doesn’t look offended. Not in the slightest. He smiles at us. At me.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he likes seeing me laugh. But I do know better.
“But we also cut off the movies before the happily ever after because those are total BS and never happen in real life,” he says, and somehow his words sober me up.
Not because he’s said something serious, but because he’s said something predictable.
For all his expertise with setting my body on fire and the skill of his tongue, Hayworth is…I don’t know how to describe him. Very childish. He’s got a cynical, almost immature view on love and relationships. He’s made hating love his entire personality and despite being a year older than me he doesn’t seem to care about his future.
“It’s super fun. I swear,” he says and despite everything I believe him. “You should come.”
I do believe him. And I do like him. Perhaps more than I should, but I can’t help it. He makes me laugh. He makes me feel young. And he makes me feel alive.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I’m starting to fall in love. But I should know better.
But if I truly did, I wouldn’t be doing any of this. I wouldn’t be giving Elsa and Arya hope and most importantly, I wouldn’t be giving myself hope. And hope is the last thing I need after everything we’ve been through.
I should put an end to this before we’re all in too deep, but…
The mere thought makes my stomach and chest ache and I’m afraid I’m in too deep already, like a fool.