21. Hayworth
TWENTY-ONE
HAYWORTH
I’m on my way to the gym the next morning when I bump into no one else but the man who’s been percolating in my dreams with his naughty smile and filthy tongue and mere thought of whom gets me hard as steel.
“Hayworth!” the girls scream and both jump around my legs, hugging my hips and waist.
I drop my gym bag to the ground and hug them back.
Felix waves at me, grinning, but I don’t miss how some passersby behind him are staring at the scene in the middle of the street as if it’s a show.
God knows what Maplewood Matters will write after today. What wild headline will they make up to drag my name through even more dirt?
“How are you?” I ask Felix.
Elsa pulls away and answers with a huge smile. “I won a drawing competition at school!”
I turn and kneel down to look at her and give her a pat on the shoulder. “Well done. That’s great, Elsa. Who ran the competition?”
Elsa’s smile gets bigger and she twists left to right, overflowing with excitement. “Mrs. H. She said I’m very talented and would like to tutor me.”
Even though I know Mom works at the school and she’s an art teacher, it still takes me by surprise when I hear her name.
“You must be really good if Mom offered to tutor you.”
“‘Mom’?” Felix asks before Elsa gets the chance.
“Ah, yeah. Mrs. H. She works at the school part-time but she also has a craft store here in town. It’s actually a couple doors down from Special Blend.”
“Mrs. H is your Mom? Wow! She’s very pretty,” Arya says and I chuckle.
“She is, isn’t she?”
“I love her hair,” Arya adds.
“I didn’t realize. That’s so weird. I’ve stopped by to get supplies, but…” Felix starts and I straighten up so I’m at eye level with him.
Or as eye level I can be with Felix, considering I’m a head taller.
“Don’t worry about it. It doesn’t help that she goes by Mrs. H most of the time.”
Felix bites his lip and gives a small nod. “There’s still so much to learn about this town.”
I laugh. “Hey, no one said living in a small town is easy and I’m sure you’ve been busy with the?—”
“Hayworth?” Arya tugs at my hand.
I stop to look at her. “What is it, little devil?”
“Aren’t you going to kiss Poppy?” she says and immediately hides her giggle behind her hands.
“Oh,” both Felix and I say at the same time and stare at each other as if we’ve been caught red-handed.
Flashes of his passionate kisses claiming my mouth from last night flood my vision but this isn’t last night and it isn’t a private tête-à-tête. This is broad daylight in the middle of Maplewood. It feels…weird.
“Is something wrong?” Elsa asks and it knocks back some sense into me.
“Of course not. Nothing wrong.”
This is why we’re doing this after all. For the girls who have seen their daddy go through hell with their dad and want him to fall in love and be happy again. It doesn’t matter if Felix wants that. If he wants to fall in love and be in a relationship again—that’s what his daughters think he needs and that’s the whole reason for this whole charade.
I take a couple steps forward, bring my hand up to cup his cheek and give him a small tender kiss that has no right giving me goose bumps, but it does, without remorse.
Felix stills against me and when I pull away his gaze follows me as if he’s still in shock. As if he didn’t expect that.
The girls coo and I give Felix a half smile for a moment before I drop my hand and step back.
The girls are watching us with pink cheeks and bright smiles and it tugs at something in my chest. Something I don’t even want to unspool, but it does remind me of Mom’s words from a couple of days ago.
“Isn’t he supposed to protect his daughters from people like you?”
“When are you going on your next date?” Arya asks.
Felix hisses and looks at me, pressing his lips from side to side. “We haven’t actually decided yet,” he says.
“You can come with us now!” Elsa suggests and we both turn to her.
“Come with you now? Come with you where?” I ask.
“I think Hayworth is busy, sweetie,” he says at the same time.
“Are you busy, Hayworth?” Elsa asks, pushing a strand of her long blonde hair off her face so she can pierce me with her green-gray eyes she’s inherited from her dad.
I stumble in my own thoughts. “Erm…uhm…no. I’m just going to the gym.”
Arya jumps up and down and she drops her cute little sunglasses that are so out of place in the middle of the winter but suit her so well. She drops to her knees making her skirt fall to the ground in a circle around her and Felix groans.
“You can come with us then and you can go to the gym later!” Elsa says and takes my hand which makes it even harder to say no.
“Sweetie—” Felix starts, while helping Arya off the ground and dusting dirt from her dress.
“Please, Hayworth. Please please please!” Arya starts and the begging intensifies as Elsa chimes in.
“Okay. Where are we going?” I ask, picking up my gym bag.
Arya takes my other hand and both girls drag me down Morgan Street while Felix follows.
“I’m so sorry. You can just say no you know. I’m sure you’ve got things to do,” he says and I turn to look at him.
“It’s okay. Time with you guys sounds way more fun. What are we doing exactly?”
“We’re going to the Romcom Movie Marathon!” Elsa exclaims and I bite my tongue.
Gosh. What have I just agreed to?
“That’s…great.” I try to hide my discomfort and I think I’m successful, only a glance at Felix’s smirk tells me not entirely.
I don’t know how long this marathon will last but I’m supposed to be in Montpelier in the evening and it doesn’t sound like I’ll make it. Third job I’ll have to cancel this week alone. If I go on any longer I’ll lose all my clients, but…
How can I say that to those little girls who haven’t realized how awful love is and who think I’m dating their dad?
I can’t. So I shut up. I’ll have to excuse myself later so I can inform my client and hope they can reschedule.
We reach the Playhouse and we all get a program and popcorn and sneak into the auditorium in the middle of The Parent Trap . The girls make sure Felix and I are seated next to each other and dig into their snacks while I and Felix contemplate the fact they weren’t even alive when the movie came out.
That doesn’t stop them from relating to the double-trouble Lindsay Lohan if their sneaky glances, whispering and giggles are anything to go by.
“Do you reckon they’re plotting our demise?” I ask Felix.
He chuckles. “Probably plotting locking us into a closet,” he replies and I wiggle my eyebrows.
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
Felix slaps my chest and I fake an injury, which gets us a couple of shushes. Both Felix and I sink into our seats and that makes the girls laugh harder. Which gets us more shushes and that starts a vicious circle we can’t escape from and without meaning to, it’s like all four of us are sabotaging this farce of a marathon, which, hey, works for me.
Planting doubt and dissent everywhere I go is my middle name.
Well, not really. My middle name is Orson, which I’ll take to my grave before I tell a living soul.
After The Parent Trap , it’s 13 Going on 30 . Another movie to make us feel old.
“I used to love the movie,” Felix admits when Jennifer Garner wakes up and has a panic attack about suddenly being thirty.
“Can I tell you a secret?” I ask.
Someone behind us shushes.
“What?” Felix asks, ignoring the disruption to our disruption.
“I used to love it too.”
Felix gasps.
“No! Lies! You?” he exclaims and there’s a cacophony of shushes again.
We sink even lower into our seats, barely holding it together.
“You? Like a romcom?” he whispers.
I nod.
“Defector. Apostate.”
“Uhm, would you stop using big words I don’t know.”
Felix rolls his eyes. “I thought you were against love.”
“I am,” I rush to add and don’t care who minds my talking. “But, remember college? I wasn’t against it then. Sick, I know, but we all have our faults. Mine is a dark and twisted history.”
Felix stares at me and raises an eyebrow. “I don’t know. I’ll have to report you. That’s disgusting.”
Near the end of the movie the girls fall asleep in their seats then The Princess Diaries comes on.
“I need to get out of here,” I declare.
“Me too, but give it half an hour. Let them have a little snooze,” Felix suggests and I agree.
So I have no option but to watch an “uglified” Anne Hathaway stumble her way through royal society for a little while longer before we give up and Felix wakes the girls.
“But she’s turning pretty!” Arya cries, half asleep as Anne is getting her makeover.
“She was always pretty, honey. Now, come on. Let’s go get something to eat.” Felix pushes them through the seats and when the girls suggest milkshakes we get another outpouring of annoyance our way. But we no longer care. As soon as we’re out in the atrium everyone turns to me since I’m more familiar with every place in this town than Felix.
“There are two diners in town that make the best milkshake,” I start but as soon as we’re out in the street we’re blasted by a sweeping cold that makes my teeth grind.
Little white blurs fall from the sky and for the hundredth time that day, the girls scream for joy.
“It’s snowing!”
“Yes it is, so maybe milkshake isn’t such a great idea,” Felix says.
The girls hang on to him begging and he surrenders so I’m left with no choice but to drag us back to Maple Street so they can all make the most important decision of their lives.
“Right. This is a huge deal so choose wisely,” I say.
I turn to point at the end of the road on my left side and point at the blue diner car in the distance.
“Sparky’s?” I ask and spin around to point at the other end of the street at the red and white diner car. “Or Red’s?”
“Huh?” Felix asks, turning to me.
“Think long and hard about it because this choice has the ability to determine your entire life in this town.”
Now even the girls glare at me.
“I don’t understand,” Felix says.
I clear my throat, lean against the wall behind me and look at all of them one by one.
“Sparky’s and Red’s are both staples in this town. The problem is they’re mortal enemies and as such the town has had to take sides.”
“Mortal enemies. Why?” Felix asks.
“Well, there are several…myths about it but the one I heard is that Red’s stole Sparky’s super-secret dipping sauce recipe and tried to pass it off as their own.”
“Dipping sauce? Really?” Felix grimaces in disbelief and I shrug.
“That’s what I heard. So everyone has to pick a side. If you’re seen in the wrong diner…well, let’s just say Civil War 2.0 is very much on the cards.”
Felix snorts and I ask them to make a choice. In a way, I feel honored I’m the one to walk them through this town’s biggest dilemma. It’s as if I’m taking Felix’s town virginity. In a way.
“Well, what’s your diner?” he asks.
“Sparky’s of course.”
Felix nods and taps a finger on his chin as if trying to decide but only two seconds later he purses his lips and says: “Then I better go with Red’s. You know. To even things out.”
I stare at him, waiting for him to change his mind or to psych me but he doesn’t and he seems to take pleasure in my hesitation.
“Fine. You’ve made your choice. Red’s it is.” I push myself off the wall and walk toward Red’s.
“Where are you going?” Felix asks, catching up with me.
“To Red’s?”
“But I thought your side was Sparky’s.”
“It is.”
“So…are you defecting?”
I press my lips to the side and ponder it a while. I’m not entirely sure what the rules are. I mean, Felix is new and I’m showing him around. Surely that doesn’t count.
We reach the diner car and walk up the switchback ramp and I open the door for them when at the same time Mrs. Eichenthal walks out and we both pause.
“Mrs. Eichenthal.”
“Hayworth,” she replies.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“What are you doing here?” she repeats and narrows her eyes.
Mrs. Eichenthal is Team Sparky, just like me. She wouldn’t be caught dead at Red’s. And yet here she is.
“I’m showing Felix and his girls around.”
She turns to study my companions who are all watching with amused grins, before she looks back at me. “I’m just getting pie.”
“Sparky’s has pie.”
“Yeah, but it’s snowing,” she answers.
“That’s no excuse.”
“Well, Hayworth, you can tell on me but I can tell on you too.”
I huff. She is right. I’m betraying my team too, just like her.
“I won’t tell if you won’t.” I offer her my hand, and after a moment she shakes it.
“Mutual assured destruction,” she says and walks away. “And don’t you forget it.”
I wave her off and usher the girls in but Felix stays behind, staring at me with a frown.
“What?” I ask.
“You Maplewoodians are weird,” he says and walks inside.
“You got me there,” I tell him and follow him into the sickening, heart-and-rose-infested diner that sends the girls into a sugar high before they’ve even gotten their milkshake.
They make sure Felix and I sit on one side of our booth and they keep telling everyone who passes by our table that we’re boyfriends despite Felix telling them off.
And when we get our milkshakes they tell the waitress to bring the lovers’ special sundae with one spoon for us lovebirds.
“They’re very determined,” I mumble when they’re too busy ordering their own extravagant sundaes.
“Uh-huh. And they’re definitely grounded.”
I can’t help but chuckle. Arya sneaks a glance my way and smiles, and despite my amusement Mom’s words come back to haunt me.
“Isn’t he supposed to protect his kids from the likes of you?”
Is Mom right?
Is what we’re doing wrong?
Are we giving them false hope that will crush them when all this is over?
And why does the thought of this being over make my stomach hurt?