Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Walter couldn't stop talking on their way back to Oceanside.
And Jax couldn't blame him. When Walter had said goodbye to Reina, they'd embraced for a very long minute, as if they couldn't bear to part.
And the older man's gaze had followed Reina all the way across the patio until she disappeared from sight.
He had to admit the moment had touched him, too. Their love seemed like it might get a second chance, which made him wonder if he was also going to get a second chance with Kaia.
She'd definitely left things up in the air, and while she'd said she could understand why he did what he did, she'd also said she didn't agree with it.
He knew she had a strong moral compass for right and wrong, which was one of the reasons he liked her so much, and one of the reasons he had stayed silent so long.
But he also knew that her level of empathy and compassion was high.
Hopefully, that would make her consider not ending everything immediately.
That was the last thing he wanted. In fact, he hadn't realized just how much he wanted the relationship with her until now.
It was a deep-seated, aching need that he had never felt before.
But a part of him thought he probably didn't deserve the second chance.
He shouldn't have enabled Wren the way he had.
He'd never gone that far before; he'd never had to.
But her actions in those couple of days had scared the crap out of him, and he'd been terrified he was going to lose her. That she would OD or kill herself, maybe even hurt someone else, and he couldn’t stand that thought.
So, he'd done what he shouldn't have done, and he'd regretted it immediately.
By then, it was too late. Everything was in motion.
The only saving grace was that Wren had been forced to get help in order to ensure his silence and his protection.
He still didn't know if she would really go public with what she had done, or if she was just using that as a bargaining chip to get him back.
Maybe it didn't matter anymore. He didn't know what kind of future he could have in music, even if Wren did take responsibility.
He had talent. He'd once dreamed of being his own artist, but the odds were against him, maybe more now because of what he'd done, or maybe less because he did have a name, even if it was tarnished.
But he didn't want to be Jason anymore. He wanted to be Jax.
He was starting to like this version of himself.
He liked Kaia even more, and the thought of losing her was hard to stomach.
They hadn't known each other long, but their connection was deep.
He thought she'd felt that, too, but that might have changed now.
He shifted in his seat as Kaia interrupted Walter's long-winded description of his conversation with Reina to ask a question.
"Are you going to see her again?" she asked.
"Yes, didn't I mention that?"
"No. And I was afraid to ask," Kaia said.
"We're going to get together on Friday night.
She wants me to come for dinner," Walter said, his voice filled with joy.
"A long time ago, there was a night when she said she wanted to cook for me, but when we got to her apartment, we found her sister Anita with a man, and they didn't want company.
So, we got a pizza, climbed up the fire escape outside her apartment to eat it, and talked all night long.
I didn't miss the cooking, but I guess she did. "
Jax's gut twisted at the emotion in Walter's voice, his emotional words making that long-ago moment come alive.
"I'm so happy for you," Kaia said. "I didn't want today to be the end; I wanted it to be the beginning of a new chapter for both of you."
"That's what I want, too," Walter said. "Reina and I were honest with each other. We both loved other people. We were happy in our marriages. We have children and grandchildren. We don't want our families to feel like they were second choice. You know what I mean?"
"I do," Kaia said. "And I think if you explain it just that way, they won't feel like they were second. You and Reina weren't meant to be all those years ago, but now you can see if the feelings are still there."
"I suspect you both think I'm a sentimental fool."
Kaia gave Walter a wry smile. "Trust me, when we first met," she said, "I only thought you were an ornery old man."
He laughed. "Well, I was being a real ass, wasn't I?
I'd been sunk in depression for so long, I didn't know how to feel better.
It was kind of Catherine to take me in, but it was clear I was an enormous burden to her.
To be honest, I just didn't see any point in worrying about my blood sugar or my medication.
I didn't really care how many more days I had left. "
Walter's honest admission made Jax realize that if Kaia hadn't stepped up, hadn't pushed to find the red door, to reconnect him with Reina, he might have kept going down that dark road.
She'd been right to stick her nose into his life.
She'd seen the need even though she hadn't fully understood it, and she'd even risked her job to help him.
Women like her didn't come around very often, and he really hoped he wasn't going to lose her.
"Well, now you have to care, Walter," Kaia said. "There's someone who wants to spend time with you, and someone you want to spend time with. There's a lot of fun to be had."
Walter laughed. "Fun seems like such a strange word, but today I feel like a young man again, a man who once knew how to have fun."
"You still know it," she said.
"I just wish Reina lived closer. She said she has an apartment in one of those senior places that has pickleball, card games, and trips to go on. Maybe I could live in a place like that, get out of Catherine's hair."
"Maybe even that place," Kaia suggested.
"Well, I don't want to get ahead of myself. Look, I also want to apologize for my granddaughter. I'm sorry she called your boss and complained. I guess she was scared you were going to raise my hopes up too high."
"That's understandable. We were all worried this could end in disappointment."
"I understand but like I told you all before we went to meet Reina, I just wanted to see her again, and I'll be forever grateful to you for stepping in and finding her for me. You went above and beyond." Walter paused, giving Kaia a thoughtful look. "Why did you do that?"
"Because I wanted you to get your happy ending," she said.
Walter shifted in his seat so he could look at Jax. "What about you? You've been very quiet. But you've been in this from the beginning."
"I wanted the same thing for you," he said. "And to be honest, I wasn't living my life to the fullest, either, not until you walked in front of my car, and woke me up, and then got me entangled with that one."
"You two got something going?"
He didn't know how to answer that question.
"Oh, it's fine," Walter said, jumping into the awkward silence. "You don't have to tell me. I've got eyes. And by the way, I know you could have played that song for me, Jax."
"I could have. But I'm currently involved in a love-hate relationship with music."
"I hope that will change. You don't want to ever lose something you love, not if you can help it. If I hadn't been deployed, I would have fought for Reina. But I didn't have a choice. I'm betting you do."
"You're right. But I still won't play that song for you, because Reina should be the one to play it and to sing it. That love song belongs to the two of you."
"It's what brought us back together," Walter agreed. "She did say she would sing it for me the next time we meet. I can't wait until Friday."
"About Friday," Kaia said. "I'm not sure I can drive you down there. I might have to work."
"No need to worry. I'll figure something out.
If Catherine can't do it, I'll take a cab.
Reina also said that one of her daughters lives in Encinitas, and she might be able to drive me.
Of course, we'll see how Reina's kids feel about all this once she tells them our story. Anyway, I'll figure it out."
Jax didn't offer a ride, either, because he didn't know what he'd be doing on Friday.
He didn't want to leave Ocean Shores, but if Kaia was done, it might make sense to pack it in.
She loved the building. Her friends were her family, and he would never want to make it awkward for her by staying there.
So, he kept quiet, wondering if this drive would be the last one they took together.
After Kaia dropped Walter off at home, he got into the passenger seat.
Kaia gave him a brief smile, but he couldn't tell what she was thinking.
He'd asked her a question before Walter had interrupted them, and she still hadn't answered.
But maybe that wasn't a conversation to have while they were driving, and maybe she needed more time to come up with an answer, so he stayed silent.
When she finally parked in the lot, his patience had run out.
"Can we go inside and keep talking?" he asked. "I'm sure you have more questions."
She hesitated. "It's been a lot today, Jax. I don't know."
He knew he shouldn't push, but he had the terrible feeling that if he didn't, they might never talk again. "Just give me a few more minutes."
"Okay."
As they got out of the car, his relief turned to shock when they were suddenly surrounded by people running into the lot from all directions.
Camera shutters clicked rapidly in the warm afternoon air.
A news van was parked crookedly near the curb, another SUV idling behind it.
A dozen reporters and photographers were shouting questions.
He felt like he was back in Nashville right after everything had happened, when he hadn't been able to leave his apartment building without a frenzied pack of hungry reporters surrounding him.