Chapter 14 #3
Will didn’t seem to care about my imperfections.
Instead, he groaned a moan of approval when his hand moved up to grab my breast. The hot, unexpected touch made me arch my back.
His next move was even more unexpected. He grabbed my hips with both hands and then slid them down toward my shorts.
I let him do it, possibly because I was dazed from the pleasant sensation of that kiss.
But I didn’t know what else to do next. I stopped myself, like I was paralyzed by an unknown fear.
Either it was being undressed under him or maybe the fact that I was heavier than the other girls at my school and soon Will would realize it.
He didn’t seem to care. He kept kissing me on the mouth, and with one hand he traced the skin on my stomach again down to the edge of my underwear.
“Will.”
My voice was quiet but firm, so much so that he immediately understood my reluctance and took his fingers away immediately.
“Sorry,” he said.
“No, I don’t think it’s the right time.”
“Okay.”
His hand drifted to my hip and he rested his cheek against the palm of my hand, while I stared at the ceiling with my chest heaving. I still wasn’t feeling it. There was no point in beating around the bush.
“It’s just—”
“If you don’t want to or you’re not ready, that’s fine. You don’t owe me an explanation.” He shrugged it off, flashing me an earnest grin.
Now you’re perfect, but today you were really out of your mind.
There wasn’t a real correlation between what we could’ve done, my not feeling ready, and his crazy behavior. But I still didn’t trust him.
“Will, today—”
“Did I scare you?”
“No, but I’d never seen that side of you,” I admitted, biting my lip.
“I know we aren’t choir boys.”
“James I knew about, but you—”
“I’m not what you expected?” he asked, caressing my hair as his eyes followed every movement of my mouth.
“You’re unpredictable, Will.”
And, yeah, part of me felt turned on by that, but not my intuition. That kept sending me weird messages in the form of clenching in the pit of my stomach.
“June, do you remember when I asked you to take things slow? For us not to get tangled in anything too complicated?”
“Yes,” I murmured.
“I didn’t say that because I don’t want to be with you. Everyone knows it’s exhausting to keep up with me.”
Clearly Will didn’t want me to pity him. He really seemed to believe what he was saying.
“What do you mean, Will?”
“It is for James, for my parents . . .”
I pulled the bottom of my T-shirt down then sat up to tackle the matter more seriously.
“That’s not true. Your friends love you, and I’m sure that your parents do too.”
He shook his head.
“They already pushed back the date they were coming home twice.”
“They must have work obligations, it doesn’t mean they don’t want to be with you.”
“Maybe, but that doubt would cross anyone’s mind. And you, June, I can’t ask you to do something like that.”
William bowed his head and laced his fingers with mine.
“It wouldn’t be an effort to be together,” I said all in one breath without thinking about it. “But you’re right, rushing won’t get us anywhere. I agree that we should take things slow. I don’t want to put you under more pressure,” I concluded.
“You’re perfect, you know that, right?”
“No. That’s not true.”
“Yes you are, June. And you better know that I won’t fault you if you want to walk away from me in a few weeks.”
A bitter smile crawled onto my lips.
“Why should I?”
“Because I could go days without talking to you or disappear for no reason,” he admitted, avoiding my gaze.
Then maybe we should just be friends and quit making out.
It was the right thing to say and the right decision to make, but we both acted on impulse and started making out again instead.
My feelings for him still weren’t clear, but I enjoyed the time we spent together.
If we were committed to always being honest with each other, how could we hurt each other?
But I wasn’t being completely honest with him.
A little voice wormed its way into my head and told me to shut up and keep letting Will have access to my mouth, while he sought the best rhythm to adjust to mine.
He sank a hand into the pillow next to my face as he repositioned himself on top of me.
I avoided opening my legs. I moved them over to make room for him and let our chests fit perfectly into each other.
Will got up a little bit to let me breathe.
“I don’t want to crush you,” he whispered, as I let my hands slide down from his neck to his chest, helping him take off his shirt. A hint of anxiety came over me as soon as I realized William was half naked and on top of me.
I told him I wasn’t ready, and he understood that. I had to relax.
With my hands trembling, I molded over his fast-moving chest, leaving his good scent all over me.
“May I?” he asked, then traced my neck with a stream of wet kisses as his hands slid down, asking for access to the skin under my shirt.
He barely lifted my T-shirt from the pajamas, and I let him do it in the dark.
I didn’t know what the right thing to do next was, but William eased my fears with another kiss.
He grabbed my hips, bringing our bodies together while his tongue traced my fiery lips.
I felt the weight of his arousal pulse against my thigh as he rubbed my nipples in circles that reacted immediately.
My hands rhythmically caressed his chest, but when I inadvertently descended to graze the bulge contained in his boxers, I stopped breathing. He let out a moan at the unexpected gesture, so I pulled my hand back right away.
“Sorry,” I stuttered, embarrassed.
“No, please. Don’t stop,” he murmured in my ear.
My skin was on fire, and the feeling intensified when William led my hand back on top of him.
Our labored breaths began chasing after each other, faster and more desperately, in perfect sync with the rhythmic movement I applied to his boxers and that he seemed to like.
A little sigh escaped my lips when I realized that his arousal was pushing against the cotton between his legs.
Before I could think about what to do, William bit my lower lip violently, making me moan in response.
“June.” I heard him moan my name as his fragmented breath died between my lips, and I felt a weird sensation on my leg.
“Oh, fuck. I did it again. Sorry.”
I stayed still, petrified. He rolled off me, and I realized my inner thigh was wet.
“Sorry, sometimes I have this problem—” Was this what sex was like? This quick?
“No, don’t apologize.” I rushed to answer.
A sudden warmth hit me, starting from my lower stomach and spreading up to my cheeks.
I watched William sheepishly look down at his wet boxers.
“Everything okay?” he asked, seeing me with labored breath.
I nodded while he gave me a kiss against the lips, then he got up from the bed to get some tissues. I wiped some on me, but they weren’t enough to clean me off; my skin was still sticky.
Luckily, the moment of embarrassment was short-lived; Will asked me right away if I wanted to wash up, so I grabbed my phone and headed into the bathroom with him. It was all much more natural than I expected it to be.
“Wanna shower with me?” he asked offhandedly, pulling down his boxers.
Suddenly, I turned around to the mirror hanging above the sink.
“What? No,” I raved, blushing furiously. Get butt naked? No, thank you. Sooner or later you’ll have to, June White, said the cruel little voice inside my head.
Will got into the shower stall and a cloud of pleasant-smelling steam diffused in the bathroom. I wiped my leg with a bar of soap then used a little pressure with a hand towel that I threw into the dirty laundry immediately after.
The roar of the steamy water reminded me that Will was showering, a few feet away from me, so I looked at my phone.
I had a notification from Poppy.
Poppy: Sorry about this morning June. I wanted to tell you Friday’s my birthday, and I’d like you to come
I stared at my reflection in the phone and thought about how to answer her. But I almost didn’t recognize the image of the blond girl who appeared on the screen. Messy hair, red cheeks, and looking tired. She looked how I looked in the photo I sent James.
There was no point in beating around the bush. I still felt guilty.
Just then the last person I wanted to see walked in along with Jackson’s tall silhouette.
James was eating a sandwich while Jackson wasted no time giving my hair a judgy look, causing me to adjust it right away.
I was confused by how they could behave so calmly in front of a showering Will, but then I remembered something basic: that they were men and didn’t give a damn about being naked in front of each other.
“You left your backpack in the car, Will, and I came to give it back to you,” Jackson told him as Will left the shower enveloped in a cloud of steam.
I turned around again to avoid seeing him naked, and I noticed James staring at me with eyes as dark as the night.
“What is it?” I asked, crossing my arms indifferently.
“You want some?” he asked, waving the sandwich in front of my nose. As if I could say no to a midnight snack.
“Yeah.”
I tried to keep my gaze upward and not look at his bruise-riddled chest, but he slowly walked to me. He waited until I opened my lips an inch away from his stupid sandwich only to pull it away from me.
“Well, you’ll have to wait. But you’re used to it, aren’t you?” he sneered, biting it again.
I balled my hand into a fist, repressing the instinct to slap him.
Since when do you always think of the most extreme thing to do, June? asked the little voice in my head. Since you began hanging out with these degenerates! my mom would’ve replied.
James finished eating, then leaned against the windowsill and turned on a vape pen. Will joined us with a towel wrapped around his waist.
Jackson and James exchanged an understanding look, until the latter gruffly said, “Why don’t you get out of here?” staring me right in the eye.
“What’s your problem? Why are you sending her away now?” demanded Will.
“Jackson wants to talk to us. Can just the three of us talk for one fucking time?” he spat, looking first at me, then at William, menacingly.
“Why are you freaking out so much? I’m leaving. I’m always happy to stay far away from you,” I exclaimed.
But something caught my attention when I left the bathroom. Jackson’s voice was serious. Really serious. I leaned against the door so they wouldn’t see me and listened.
“Don’t ask me how I know, but it’s from a reliable source. The coach wants to drug test the entire team.”
Will started coughing. The sweet smell coming from inside itched my nostrils. They were probably smoking a joint.
“Who the fuck told you that? When?” James was obviously the most concerned.
“I’ll tell you as soon as I know more. So, Will? Have you calmed down now?” asked Jackson.
“Yes,” I heard him murmur.
“Did you bang her?”
James’s voice left me speechless. No, what are you talking about? That was what Will should’ve said.
“What if I did?”
I was floored by his response.
“In five minutes?” teased James, as Jackson giggled.
“So what?” William’s tone was weirdly belligerent.
“Yes or no? It’s not a hard question, Will.”
“Even if we did, what the fuck do you care?”
“What an asshole.”
“I’m the asshole, James? What did June do to you? Why do you always have to talk about her like that? I already told you. She isn’t like the others.”
I let out a small sigh of relief when I heard William defend me, but James didn’t seem to know where the line was.
“Oh, so it’s different because she’s still a virgin? Is that what you’re talking about, Will? What a shame.”
William didn’t answer. A moment of silence fell.
“Besides, do you think she’s as innocent as she’d like you to believe?” continued James.
Oh no, now he’s going to tell him.
“Why shouldn’t I?” spat Will. “Besides, why do you care? Experienced or not, I like her—”
“Bullshit.”
“Jealous, Jamie?” Jackson mocked.
“Bullshit,” James repeated sternly.
“If it’s bullshit then why did Austin threaten to kill you? Huh? Why’d you get hit again today?”
Will’s question was unwavering, blunt, and right to the point.
“I hit him first,” admitted James.
“Why? To protect her?”
The momentary silence that followed moved at a glacial pace.
“You protect what’s mine, and what’s yours, right?”
“Yeah, but the rule of sharing doesn’t apply to June.”
“But they’re your words, Will. We’re more than friends, we’re brothers, and brothers share everything.”
My blood ran cold at James’s words.
“Girls are part of all this, right, Jackson?”
“That’s how it’s always been,” I heard the blond snort.
“Or maybe you’re putting her before me? Before us?” continued James, in an increasingly pressing manner.
“Don’t be a dick, James.”
“And you’re being selfish, Will.”
There was a moment of silence, followed by William’s worried voice. “You’re joking, right?”
James and Jackson burst out laughing. Their sadistic laughter sent a chill down my spine.
“Of course we are. Are you really that scared that I want to bang her?”
I thought about Will and James. They were so unpredictable that I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up in fear.
“Jokes aside, you gotta listen to me about something. She’ll fuck us all over, Will. And she’ll do it as soon as she finds out the truth. We can’t trust her.”
“James is right.” Jackson supported him.
“Of course he’s right! It’s always like that for you, Jax. Now that you’re here, why don’t you get down and suck his dick? Since it seems that you like him that much.” William’s exclamation caused a little commotion.
“Jackson, no! Stop.”
I heard more noise, then James’s voice again.
“Will, enough bullshitting. Think about it carefully before telling her everything.”
“Is that why you brought her to Austin’s place? Did you want her to see that I can’t protect her?”
“No, I told you. Just for fun, nothing more.” I heard the lighter click, then James finished his thought. “I don’t give a flying fuck about her.” I hated him.
That was definitely clear, so I went back into the bedroom.