15. Chapter 15
Chapter 15
Matt
September
Matt
Do you have any plans for Labor day?
Riley
What do you have in mind?
Go on a hike with me?
There’s a waterfall I want to show you.
I promise it’s an easy hike. I went there a few times over the summer. We can pack a picnic. It looks like it’ll even be warm enough to swim.
Are you going to get us lost?
I promise I won’t. I’ve been enough times I think I’ve got it down.
I only get lost on new trails sometimes.
Only sometimes?
I’d never take you somewhere I might get us lost.
Trust me?
I’ll keep you safe.
Okay. BUT if you do get us lost, I’m never letting you live it down.
Deal.
I opened the front door of Riley’s house to see her sitting on the floor in front of the couch, Emery on the couch behind her braiding her hair. Riley’s eyes lifted to mine, her face lighting up as she did. I felt my own face light up, my mouth widening into a bright smile that only happened when I saw her. Her eyes dropped to the small bouquet of daisies in my hand, then raked over my athletic tank top and swim trunks.
Emery pulled Riley’s harder than necessary as she braided, eliciting a sharp grunt from Riley. “You’re going to have to stop bringing so many flowers. You’re not even giving them time to die before you bring more. We’re running out of places to put them,” she said to me.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, my empty hand dropping to tap lightly against my thigh. Riley smacked Emery’s knee and she responded with another rough tug. “Don’t listen to her,” Riley told me. I knew she had a point, they were running out of surfaces in their little house. There were flowers on the kitchen table, kitchen counter, coffee table, Riley’s nightstand, and even the bathroom. Riley telling me she liked flowers that day, the look on her face each time I brought her some, had unlocked something inside me. I was addicted to seeing that look, to doing anything that would make her happy. I had even made sure I had fresh flowers for her the one time she had been to my apartment. The look on Riley’s face right now told me I could cover every inch of this house in flowers, and she would still be happy to receive more.
“At least start bringing vases with them. We had to resort to using cups.” Emery wrapped a hair tie around the end of the braid.
I rushed to Riley, putting out a hand to pull her up. It felt like the longest we had been in a room together without touching each other. I knew that wasn’t true, but it still felt like it. Anytime we were together our bodies were like magnets drawn to each other for any contact we could get. “I can do that,” I said to Emery.
She rolled her eyes. “Please don’t, I’m just messing with you.” She stood and went to her room.
“Hi,” Riley said as I pulled her into me for a hug. Her soft body relaxed into me the way she did each time I hugged her. I was addicted to that feeling too. She smelled different almost every time I saw her, like she wore different perfumes or maybe used different body wash. Today she smelled like peaches, just like she did on our first date. “Thank you for the flowers,” she whispered.
“You look so beautiful.” I kissed the top of her head and pulled back to look at her. She wore workout shorts that hit right above her knees and a long tank top, the straps of a swimsuit peeking out. It was the first time I had ever seen her without makeup, and she couldn’t hide her blush as I looked at her. The baby hairs around her face were frizzy, forming a soft halo. I smoothed my fingers over them. Her eyes dropped like they always did when I called her beautiful.
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed it, her most obvious tell when she was nervous. Her eyes locked on my shoulder, her fingers coming up to trace the series of music notes that started at the top couple inches of my bicep wrapping around and then trailed up to my shoulder where they disappeared under my shirt. “You have a tattoo,” she whispered.
“Yeah…um…I…um.” I cleared my throat while I watched her fingers. I wanted her to keep following the trail under my shirt, to feel her touch everywhere. I pushed the thought out of my mind, these swim trunks weren’t going to hide anything.
She brushed the top of my tank top where the notes disappeared. “How far does it go?”
My face warmed and I cleared my throat again. “You’ll see later.”
She raised an eyebrow at me.
“When we’re swimming,” I added.
She smiled softly, her eyes flashing briefly with panic as she took the flowers from my hand, turning her back toward me as she said, “I have two.” She added the flowers to the cup on the coffee table. Emery had said she was kidding about the lack of vases, but I had been around her enough to know that wasn’t true. I made a mental note to pick a few up after school tomorrow. “You can see them later,” she said. “When we’re swimming,” she added with a wink.
My brain sputtered, all thoughts of vases going poof. “You’re going to kill me,” I muttered.
***
I spent days researching this trail, making sure I understood the map so I wouldn’t get us lost. I had hiked this trail a couple times during this past summer. I knew where we were going.
All my prep work didn’t make a difference. I forgot the name of the trail we were on and followed the wrong sign when we came to a crossing point. My confusion may have involved a large dog that was hiking with its family. It was wearing a hat and a little backpack. How could I not get distracted by that? We wandered down the wrong trail for half a mile before the trail brought us to a steep incline that I didn’t remember from my previous trips.
“I can’t believe you got us lost just because you wanted to pet a dog,” Riley said once we reached the crossing to return to the correct trail. Her tone was light and soft, but her words still sent a jolt of embarrassment through me.
“Tell me he wasn’t cute. He even had his own backpack,” I joked. I poked my bottom lip out at her.
“I’m not saying he wasn’t cute.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know what point you’re trying to make.” I tried to keep how stupid I felt out of my voice, off my face. If I failed, she didn’t let on.
She fell into step behind me as I led us down the trail, trying to keep my face hidden from her. “Just that you got us lost because of a dog.”
“He was such a good boy.” I stuck my hand behind my back needing to touch her. I opened and closed it a few times, beckoning for her to take it.
“Remember how I said I wasn’t going to let you live it down if you got us lost?” She hung back a couple steps.
I laughed. She had said that in our messages. There was something about being teased by her that made me feel less like she was trying to embarrass me, and more like she was letting me know it was okay to have fun together. “I am okay with my fate. He was the goodest boy I’ve ever had the honor of petting.” I glanced over my shoulder as I opened and closed my hand again. She still didn’t close the distance between us. I stopped and turned around to face her. “I’ll make it up to you.”
She laughed and finally placed her hand in mine. “If you make it up to me, I won't get to bug you about it forever. I fully intend this to be the thing I bring up to annoy you for years.”
For years. That was the first time she had given me any clue that she saw this lasting. It was small, and I wasn’t sure if she even knew she had let it slip, but from her it felt like a giant leap. She might as well have told me she wanted to marry me. I smiled as I tugged on her hand until she collided with my chest. “Promise?”
Her whole face turned red as she pressed it against me. I could feel her heart pounding against me. Her shoulders tensed as she took a deep breath. She must have realized what she said. She was barreling straight toward another panic attack.
“Can I ask you a question?” I pressed a kiss into the top of her head, my arms tightening around her silently begging her not to run.
“I, uh, I didn’t mean to,” She started to say.
I kissed her forehead. “Why do you smell different every time I see you?”
She laughed so hard that she choked. I rubbed small circles on her back as she worked to catch her breath.
“Sorry, that was a weird question.” I watched her laugh, tried to focus on that, but all I could think about was how we had been tip-toeing with the boundaries we had set. I wanted to push her to blow right through it, but I would do anything to make sure she didn’t run away this time. It had been the only thing I could think of to change the conversation.
More laughter poured from her as she bent over and rested her hands on her knees. “I don’t smell different every single time,” she managed to say.
“Not every time, but most of the time.”
She wiped the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand and straightened. “I like perfume. Most people have one, maybe two, that they wear all the time. I like to wear different ones depending on my mood, what I’m doing, and the time of year.” She smiled at me then reached for my hand, squeezing it as she pulled me to keep walking. My jaw loosened and my shoulders relaxed as I let go of the worry.
“The one you’re wearing today, is that the one you wore on our first date?”
She nodded. “It’s my favorite for summer and outdoors when it’s warm.” Her head was down watching her feet as she stepped along the well-worn trail. “This is the first time I’ve worn it since that day.”
“Why?”
“Because every time I thought about wearing it all I could think about was you.” She paused. I couldn’t see her face but I knew she was chewing that bottom lip again. “It made me sad,” she added a few minutes later.
I picked up my pace until I was beside her and bumped my shoulder against hers. “Why did you wear it today?”
She shrugged. “It just felt right.”
We walked in silence until the distant sound of rushing water reached us. I picked up the pace to an almost run, pulling her along behind me. We rounded a bend, and the falls came into view. It was small but still took my breath away every time. There was a cool breeze blowing off it that tickled my warm skin. “Wow,” Riley said.
“Come on, let’s swim first. I want to cool off before we eat.” The predicted high for today was in the low nineties and with the sun beaming down on us for most of the hike I currently couldn’t even think about eating anything. I led the way across a series of large rocks off the side of the trail until we reached a large flat one perfect for spreading out a picnic. I dropped the cooler backpack I had been carrying at our feet so I could sit down to pull off my shoes and socks. My back was to Riley as I pulled off my shirt revealing the music notes that trailed up the back off my right shoulder and then down the top of my back where they disappeared just below my left armpit. There was another trail that started on my right side close to the midpoint of my ribs and led to my lower rib cage on the left side. I slid into the water, which was only waist deep, then turned to face her so she could see how the notes trailed across my chest, ribs, and abdomen. I spun around giving her the opportunity to put the pieces together. I pushed away the self-conscious thoughts about my body that were at the edge of mind. I had a strong body from all the different physical activities I had hyper fixated on over the summer, but I also had a soft stomach that folded slightly over my waistband and the layer of fat that hid the definition of my muscles.
Riley sat on the rock to pull off her shoes. I moved in the water until I was in front of her, planting my hands on either side of her against the rock. She reached out to trace the notes on my shoulder with her fingers again, following the trail further than she had been able to earlier. Her brows were knit together in concentration.
“Tell me what that look means,” I said.
She slid her bare feet into the water and moved her fingers across the trail of notes on my chest. “What look?”
“Do you think it’s stupid?” I ducked my head to watch her hand. “Liz thought it was stupid.” When it started on my arm and shoulder, she hadn’t said anything, but as I had added to it over the years, she had started letting me know what she thought about it.
Riley’s brow knit together harder, making me realize I had never called Liz by anything other than my ex in front of her. “My ex,” I said, answering the unasked question.
“It is very you,” she told me, letting her fingers follow the trail down across my ribs. “I think she didn’t know what she was talking about.”
I caught her hand and brought it to my mouth where I planted a kiss on each fingertip. I wanted to lean forward and catch her red bottom lip between my teeth. One day I would get to, but not until she was ready. “Are you going to show me yours?”
Riley swallowed hard and goosebumps sprouted over her exposed skin. She took her time easing the hem of her shirt up like she was nervous.
“Are you teasing me?” I asked.
She shook her head and then dropped her hands away from the hem of her shirt. She twisted her fingers together in her lap, her eyes fixating on her hands. I cupped her cheek with my hand, almost urging her to look at me, but opted instead to dip my head to meet her eyes. “Talk to me,” I coaxed gently.
“I’m not exactly confident in my body.” She leaned into my hand.
I lifted my other hand to smooth down the growing halo of hair around her face. “I promise you that no matter what you look like, I’m still going to think you’re beautiful. Nothing is going to change that.” Her eyes darted away from mine. “Sweetheart, I’m self-conscious about how I look too,” I admitted.
“You’re just saying that.”
“Are you calling me a liar?”
She shook her head as she closed her eyes. Her hands wrapped around each of my wrists and she moved my hands to the hem of her tank top. I wanted to yank it over her head, but not here and not now. Not until she trusted me enough to watch me.
“You don’t have to swim if you don’t want to. Or, if you want, you can swim with this still on. I’m just happy you’re here with me,” I told her, twisting the fabric between my fingers.
She lifted her arms up, her eyes still closed and nodded for me to lift up. I reached for her hands, pulling them back down so we both held the hem. “Do you trust me?” I asked her. Her eyes popped up, a mix of emotions flashing across them. “I want to see you, Riley, I really fucking do, but not if it makes you uncomfortable. We’re not doing anything you don’t 100% want to do.” I dropped my hands to her full thighs, squeezing them three times before I pulled my hands away.
She closed her eyes again, but this time she pulled her tank top over her head, tossing it on top of where mine lay on the rock. Her swimsuit was bright yellow, a one piece with cutouts on her ribs. There was a tattoo of two flowers tied together with a bow on her left side.
“You have flowers on your ribs,” I said, brushing my fingers over the lines the same way she had done to me. Of course she would have flowers. With how much she loved them I was surprised she wasn’t covered in them. Goosebumps bloomed across her skin under my fingers. Her face brightened with a smile as she opened her eyes.
“It’s mine and Emery’s birth month flowers. I lost a bet, and she made me get a matching tattoo with her,” She explained.
I chuckled lightly, letting my eyes linger over her exposed skin as I lifted them to meet her eyes. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked, but she still looked so nervous I thought it might be better to skip putting any attention on her body. “What was the bet?”
“That my dad wouldn’t happy cry the first time my brother brought Jenna and Aaron over to meet us all. She had been asking me to get matching tattoos for years. She showed me this design the day that Milo had asked all to meet at my parents’ house because he had something to tell us. She knew I wouldn’t be able to say no to this one, but I still wanted to give her a hard time over it. Our dad is a crier so I picked a bet that I knew I would lose.”
She rested her hand over where mine covered the tattoo, smiling softly at the memory. “My dad is one of those people that never meets a stranger,” she said with a dreamy look on her face. She paused as she smiled at our hands, stroking her thumb over the back of mine. “My dad would like you,” she added in a whisper.
“I can’t wait to meet your family,” I told her, flipping my hand over so I could weave our fingers together.
Her forehead scrunched and she started to blink rapidly. Between blinks I noticed her eyes growing red. “Not yet,” she breathed out.
“When you’re ready.” I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before I pulled away from her. I let my eyes roam over her body again, not bothering to hide it, searching for the second tattoo. “I thought you said there were two tattoos,” I said with a raised brow when I couldn’t see another one.
She stood up on the rock and my hands shot forward to steady her without thinking. She tugged her shorts down her legs. I helped her step out of them before running my hands over the curves of her hips and thighs, flicking my eyes up to her to make sure it was okay. She gave me a subtle nod. My eyes dropped back down to find the line art of a bus on her left thigh with the outlines of Ms. Frizzle and Liz visible in the driver’s seat.
“Is that the magic school bus?”
She threw her head back as she laughed. “Ms. Frizzle was my idol as a kid. I got it in college.”
I lifted my hand up to her hips and urged her to join me in the water. I could spend forever staring at her, taking in the sight of her in nothing but her swimsuit, but if I didn’t stop soon, we would be blasting right past all our rules. Every time we were together all I could think about was what it would be like to kiss her, to touch all of her. Then I remembered the flash of panic in her eyes that night at the overlook, remembered that she wasn’t ready yet.
She crouched down and let me pull her in. I wrapped her hand in mine to lead her toward the base of the waterfall. We swam and splashed each other, playing around until the last of the nerves on her face were gone.
Matt
Thank you for going hiking with me today.
Riley
I had a lot of fun, even though you got us lost.
Petting the dog was worth the detour.
I always have fun when I’m with you.
I might get us lost a little more often.
If you want to spend more time with me all you have to do is say so, no getting lost required.
I always want to spend more time with you.
Sounds like someone has a crush.
Sweetheart, this is more than a crush. I’m head over heels for you, and you better not let yourself think anything different.
Fuck. Was that too much?
Does your silence mean you fell asleep or did I scare you?
Good night, beautiful. I hope you sleep well.
I have a crush on you too. Sorry, I nodded off there for a few minutes. It’s late, so we probably should go to sleep.
Good night, Matt. Thank you for today.