Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
ELLA
“Ella honey, can you please grab some extra napkins on your way in?” Iris calls from the dining room as she arranges the food on the table.
Reaching into the cabinet where she keeps them, I pull out a small stack of napkins and hand them to Chloe. “Take those into Grammy Iris, please,” I say with a gentle smile. Chloe quickly takes them from me and goes running into the other room.
We have a tradition of doing Sunday dinners at Iris' house. We aren’t always able to do it every week, so we try to make sure it happens at least twice a month.
It’s just Chloe and I here with Remi and Iris.
We usually come over early in the afternoon and the three of us cook together while we sip some wine.
We all head into the dining room after we finish cooking and settle into our seats around the table. No one hesitates as we all start to pile food onto our plates.
“Who wants to start?” Iris says cheerfully after swallowing a mouthful of food. She looks around between Remi and I.
We always go around the table, taking turns telling everyone how their week was. After that, we each pick one bad thing that happened during our week, followed by a good thing.
“I'll go,” Remi offers and sets down her glass of wine. “My week was pretty good. Everything at the bar has been great and I was able to go paddleboarding a few mornings on the lake.”
“That’s so good to hear, honey,” Iris smiles, her eyes softening as she stares at her daughter and then glances at Chloe. “What about you, Clo? How was your week?”
“Good!” She exclaims in a bright and cheery tone. She reaches into her lap and lifts up the pink truck she’s been taking everywhere with her. “Got new twuck! From Co!.”
“Oh, would you look at that!” Iris says with excitement as Chloe holds the little truck up for everyone to see with a proud smile on her face. “It's pink!”
“Co? Cole?” Remi asks her with a smirk as she flashes her eyes to mine. “As in one of the Wild brothers?”
“Momma friend,” she tells her matter-of-factly.
Remi looks at me and tilts her head to the side with her eyebrows raised. “Momma has a friend?”
I give her a look. “He's an old friend, you already know that. We ran into him at the grocery store and he saw that Chloe had snuck that truck into the cart, so he surprised her with it.”
“He drived big twuck.”
“What?” Iris gives me a questioning gaze.
Dammit. I haven't told either of them about the incident because I knew Remi would demand every detail possible in private later.
“That’s why I called you both. I forgot to tell you about it afterwards, but I forgot how many miles I had until my car ran out of gas,” I explain with a soft laugh.
“We were on our way to that little farm with all the miniature animals the other day and my tank was empty. Thankfully, he happened to drive past when we were walking to the gas station and he gave us a ride there and put the gas in my car.”
Iris stares at me for a second with her expression unreadable. Remi, on the other hand, isn’t hiding anything. She’s completely intrigued and invested.
“Cole motherfuckin’ Wild,” Remi murmurs, a soft breath blowing out of her nose. She shakes her head.
“Remi, language,” her mother scolds, narrowing her eyes. They both have a habit of wearing the same expressions, with their matching brown eyes and dark auburn hair.
“Sorry,” Remi apologizes, rolling her eyes before pining them on me. “I didn’t know the two of you talked outside of him always showing up at the bar to occupy an empty stool.”
“We don’t,” I say dismissively and direct my attention to Iris. “How was your week?”
A slow smile creeps onto her lips. “Let's hear about your week first. It sounds like it might be far more interesting than mine.”
Heat blooms across my face. “My week was good. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
Remi snorts. “Bullshit,” she coughs out.
“Okay,” Iris says with a devious grin. “My week was good, as well. Nothing happened that was exciting or exhilarating like running out of gas or getting new toy trucks.”
“Mhm,” I mumble before shoveling a forkful of food into my mouth.
Thankfully, Iris lets it go at that, but I know Remi is chomping at the bit, impatiently waiting for the chance to corner me after dinner to get all the details.
The conversation shifts into the good and the bad that happened over the past week.
It’s no surprise when Chloe has no complaints and only wants to talk about how special her little truck is.
Damn Cole for getting it for her.
I can’t forget the way he looked when he saw her playing with it. The emotion was palpable and I wanted to know what he was thinking at that moment, but I was too scared to hear what he would have actually said. There’s a lot about him I don’t know anymore and it’s better if I leave it that way.
When we finish up dinner, Remi and I clear off the table while Chloe helps Iris wash the dishes.
It’s one of her favorite things to do and even though it ends up being messier than it needs to be, Iris is always quick to let her assist. There are bubbles all over the place and the sound of her laughter fills the house.
The warmth spreads through my soul and happiness settles in my chest. I’m truly happy, without a single thing in life I find myself needing.
Although, my mind can’t stop drifting back to those bright blue eyes…
“Okay, spill.” Remi follows me out of the dining room. “I need the real details about Cole Wild.”
I shrug with indifference and wander into the living room, sitting down on the couch. “There's not much to tell. You heard everything that happened at dinner.”
“Come on, El. I know you're not blind. Everyone can see the way that man looks at you.” She pauses as she laughs and drops down next to me.
She throws her arm over the back of the couch and pulls her legs underneath herself.
“He only comes to the bar when you're working and he barely even drinks.
We all know what he's actually doing there.”
“I don't know what you're talking about,” I retort in denial, refusing to actually acknowledge it.
“Fine,” she sighs, but I know she isn’t done yet. “You know, just because things with you and Jacob didn’t end well, doesn't mean you can't take a chance with someone else. Not all men suck. Just most of them.”
“I know that, Remi,” I say with an exasperated sigh. I know that much is true, yet I can’t seem to get my brain to be okay with the prospect of letting someone else into my life like that again. I am terrified of what might happen.
The last time I let someone in, I ended up betrayed, pregnant, and alone.
I refuse to put myself in a position like that again.
“I'm not saying I think you should go get married to Cole or anything like that, but I think you should at least let him take you out to dinner.” She pauses and adjusts on the couch. “Worst case, you discover he actually sucks and you never see him again.”
I stare at my best friend for a moment as my thoughts run wild. She doesn’t know he already asked me to dinner and I declined. It’s not exactly something I want to talk about, considering it’s a bit embarrassing on my part.
She doesn’t understand because she has never been in my position before. I am happy for her because I never want her to ever experience that. Remi doesn’t know how daunting the thought of getting to know someone is, especially when you are constantly questioning who they really are.
It’s so easy for a person to pretend to be someone they aren't.
Cole Wild has never struck me as that type of person, but I truly don’t know. He has never been anything but kind to me and I’ve never witnessed him being cruel or rude to anyone.
He has always had a big heart, but the Cole I knew growing up could be a different version than the man he is today.
“I suppose it wouldn't hurt to let him buy me some food,” I admit quietly, dropping my gaze to my hands and picking at the cuticles around my thumb. “Like you said, if it doesn't go well, I never have to intentionally see him again.”
Remi smiles at me. “Exactly.” She reaches over and grabs my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, El.
You've already done the hard things in life.
You can get through anything after you were able to leave Jacob.
Look at the life you've built with Chloe.”
“I know,” I say, giving her a small, yet sad smile.
“Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it though.
Sometimes I feel like I’m moving through life with so much strength and then I’m reminded of reality.
Of the fact that I’m doing it all alone.
And those moments are when I feel overwhelmed and small.
Like I have the weight of the world constantly on my shoulders.
It’s terrifying and paralyzing at times. ”
Remi’s eyes soften, the subtle creases in her skin forming around the corners of her eyes.
“I can’t pretend to know how you’re feeling.
I cannot imagine and it breaks my heart to know you feel that way.
” A tear springs from her eye and she laughs it away as she wipes it from her cheek.
“You have an entire tribe surrounding you, Ella. You’re not alone anymore and you don’t have to do it by yourself.
If you can’t lift yourself up, let us do it for you.
“When you think of the woman from your past, think of how you would never want any of that for her again. You know what you will and won’t accept. Everything is okay now, Ella.”
I can’t help myself as my tears begin to fall. I don’t mean to get emotional like I am, but since we opened the doors on this conversation, I’m struggling to get a hold of myself. “I never want Chloe to think behavior or treatment like that is okay.”