Chapter 12 #2
“And she never will,” Remi reminds me as she squeezes my hand tighter. “Look at who she has as a mother. That little girl is going to be a force to reckon with. She’s going to be so strong, all because of you and the way you raise her.”
My thoughts drift to Chloe as a young woman, straightening her spine and refusing to let a man walk all over her. I can see it now. Laughter escapes me and I shake my head, wiping away the lingering tears. “Okay, I didn’t plan on crying tonight,” I say with a soft laugh.
Remi smiles at me, her face warm and familiar. Welcoming and safe. “Should we get back to talking about Cole then?”
“You’re impossible,” I laugh again and shake my head. “But, yes. Would it be weird if I texted him?”
“Absolutely not,” she tells me with her eyes wide like she doesn’t believe the words I just spoke. “I can guarantee that man has been waiting to hear from you.”
Remi releases my hands and I slide one into the back pocket of my jean shorts for my phone. I slowly pull it out, my heart knocking against my ribcage at a rapid pace. My palms begin to feel damp and I look up at Remi as I hold the device in my hand. “I’m nervous, Remi.”
“Do you want me to leave the room?”
My eyebrows pull together. “I’m not calling, just texting him.”
“True. I didn’t know if me being here was making it worse.”
“I don’t know if I can do this,” I admit, my voice quiet and I unlock the screen to open my messages. I type in the first three letters of his name, watching his contact show up.
“You can,” she assures me. “You’ve already proved you can do anything.”
My chest expands as I suck in a deep breath and slowly exhale. I swallow roughly, urging my heart to calm down. I nod to myself and begin to type out a message. It’s short and sweet. I press the send button before I get the chance to second guess myself and back out.
Ella
Hey.
“I did it.”
Remi claps excitedly as she drops her feet off the couch and scootches closer to me. “Let me see. What did you say?” Her eyebrows cinch closer as she reads the message. “That’s it?”
I spin in my place to look at her. “What was I supposed to say?”
Remi rolls her lips between her teeth and shrugs. “I don’t know, actually. That was good enough.”
“Auntie Remi!” Chloe comes bounding into the room and jumps into Remi’s lap. “Kitties?”
Iris walks into the doorway as she dries her hands with a hand towel. “I told her about the kittens you found behind the shed.”
Remi smiles down at my daughter and slides her hands under Chloe’s armpits to lift her into the air as she rises to her feet. Chloe squeals and wraps her arms around the back of Remi’s neck. “Of course, Clo. Let’s go check them out!”
My phone vibrates and my heart halts. Iris disappears back into the kitchen and my eyes widen as I stare at Remi.
“We’ll be back in a few,” she winks. “You’ve got this.”
I watch the two of them head out the door that leads to the garage.
My confidence is weak and I wish I had an ounce of Remi’s.
My gaze drops down to my phone. Cole’s name is on the screen with a message from him.
Panic erupts inside me, my stomach fluttering wildly.
I abruptly rise to my feet, staring at my phone like it’s a bomb about to detonate.
The room begins to shrink, like the walls are closing in on me.
My feet immediately move and I make a beeline straight for the back door, letting myself out onto Iris’ back porch.
You can’t see the rolling fields from here, but it’s close enough that you can smell the growing alfalfa and dust. The smell of lake water mixes with it, drifting through the night sky.
I walk over to one of the chairs on the deck and sit down.
Cole
Hey.
I stare at my phone for a second and let out a nervous laugh. What the hell? He couldn’t give me a little more than that to make this easier on me? I guess I did text him, but now I am supposed to lead the conversation too? This was a stupid idea.
Ella
How are you?
He responds immediately and my heart betrays me, skipping a beat as I read his messages.
Cole
I’m good, better now that I’ve heard from you.
How are you, Ella?
I read over both texts twice before typing out my own response. My heart thumps harder and faster, thrumming to its own beat that I have zero control over. I refuse to acknowledge the butterflies that are trying to flutter to life in my stomach.
Ella
I’m doing well.
Cole
Good.
Is everything okay?
There was a point to me texting him and I suppose I should get to it sooner rather than later.
I don’t know the last time I felt this frazzled from talking to someone.
It’s just Cole and it is not a date. I’m allowed to get a meal with someone and make no commitment.
He is a friend and nothing more. We can eat together and leave it at that.
Ella
Everything’s good.
I wanted to change the answer I gave when you asked if you could take me out to dinner.
Three little bubbles appear and disappear four separate times. I’m frozen. Paralyzed. My fingers move, but I can’t get them to cooperate. I can’t continue where I was going with this thought and now I’m wondering if I should have even entertained the idea.
Cole
My obituary is going to read: Cole Wild quietly passed away from the suspense of waiting to hear Ella Daniel’s new answer.
A soft laugh escapes me and I smile down at my screen as tears burn my eyes. Damn him and having to make something that feels so heavy, light.
Cole
Do you want me to ask the question again?
I swallow hard over the lump lodged in my throat as my fingers move across the screen.
Ella
Yes please.
Cole
Can I take you out for dinner sometime?
Ella
I would love that.
Cole
I like the new answer a lot better.
When would be a good time for you?
It feels strange, feeling giddy like this while talking to a man. Like I should be kicking my feet from excitement. I resist the urge to, even if the butterflies are fluttering away inside my stomach.
He remembers that I don’t have the flexibility to go out whenever. I have a job. I have a daughter. I have responsibilities that must be taken care of first.
Ella
I need to check with my sitter first, to see if there’s a night that works best for her, if that’s okay.
I don’t know what your schedule looks like.
Cole
I will clear my entire schedule for you, El.
Figure out a day that works best for you and I will make it work.
My eyes widen as I reread his message again. And again. And again.
Holy shit.
Ella
I will let you know.
Cole
There’s no rush. I’ll be here whenever you’re ready.
Ella
I’ll let you know then.
I lock my screen and hold my phone to my chest as I stare out into the darkness, listening to the sound of horses whinnying in the distance. There isn’t a single similarity between Cole and my ex.
Cole Wild scares the hell out of me because he is nothing like Jacob Evans...
And I know he could potentially be a real threat to my heart.