Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ELLA
Iwalk through the restaurant to the bar, my eyes doing their typical surveillance of the crowd, making sure there isn’t a familiar face I’ve been running from for years. It’s a habit I developed after I left Jacob and one I’ve been struggling to break.
I don’t think he would come looking for me, considering the way we ended things, but there’s always that fear lingering in the back of my mind.
What if one day he wakes up and decides to change his mind about Chloe?
I don’t think that Jacob would be a bad father, but at the same time, I don’t know who he is anymore. I didn’t feel like I even truly knew him when I left our marriage.
I walk over to Remi as she’s typing something into the computer screen for an order. “Hey.” I let out a breath while pulling my hair back into a bun. “It’s busy here tonight.”
Remi glances at me from the corner of her eye as a grin dances across her lips. “It is. One of your favorite customers is here this evening, too.”
My heart skips a beat in my chest at the possibility. “Cole is here?”
She turns her entire body to face me after logging out of the computer. “Yep,” she confirms, nodding her head to the right behind me. “He got here maybe five minutes ago. I told him I’d be with him shortly, but since you’re here, perhaps you can cover that side of the bar instead.”
“Sometimes you’re really a pain in the ass,” I mutter, sneaking a glance over my shoulder. Cole is sitting there on one of the barstools with his friend, Austin next to him. I haven’t spoken to him since I texted him and told him I wanted to go out some time.
Something inside still has its grip on me, holding me back from going through with my desires. My fears prove to be much greater and I want him to chase them away. I want him to wash away the thoughts that plague my brain. The thoughts that tell me I can’t possibly trust anyone.
It’s unfair to view Cole that way, especially when he hasn’t given me a reason not to trust or believe him.
The prospect of it all still scares the daylights out of me.
“You love me,” Remi argues as she flashes her perfect white teeth at me and winks. “Consider this like a personal favor. You like him, don’t you?”
My eyes widen slightly and my breath gets caught in my throat for a moment before I collect myself. “I don’t know about that.”
“Let me rephrase. You’re interested in him, no?” She shrugs, noncommittal. “You don’t have to commit to any feelings, but there’s a part of you that wants to explore the excitement he makes you feel, right?”
I mull over her words, playing them back to myself in my mind, letting them sink in a little deeper.
She’s right. I can admit I have an attraction to him without declaring I have feelings for him.
I’m allowed to appreciate the way he makes me feel and the way he looks without committing to anything deeper than that.
“Right.”
“This is Cole Wild, we’re talking about. Walking, talking green flag. The man who would give you the shirt off his back.” She looks over at him and back to me. “You’re safe with him. And if he does anything wrong, I’ll make sure he never walks again.”
I can’t help myself as the laughter bubbles up my throat and I shake my head at my best friend before looking her up and down. “Says the woman who is barely over five feet tall.”
Remi huffs, pushing her shoulders back as she crosses her arms over her chest. “Don’t underestimate the short people in the world. We have a lot more to prove and what we don’t have in height, we make up for in fierceness.”
She’s not lying. Remi may be the most take no crap person I’ve ever met. There isn’t a single fear in her body. She’d jump in front of a bullet for those she loves without a second thought.
My brain circles back to Cole and his friend, who are caught up in a conversation together. They’re patiently waiting for one of us to come over and take their order, never mind the rest of the patrons at the bar who most likely aren’t being as patient.
“What do I even say to him?”
“You could start by takin’ their order,” she offers with a laugh and starts to walk to the center of the bar. “Just go with whatever feels right, but don’t you dare let that man leave without making plans to see him again.”
“Why do I have to be the one to make plans with him?”
Remi gives me a stern look. “Because you’re a bad bitch who is doing what she wants without owing anyone a single apology. You’re taking your life back, one dick at a time.”
I choke on air and heat instantly breaks out across my face. “I don’t know about all that.”
“You know what I mean,” she says, shrugging while she spins on her heel and heads to her side of the bar. I watch her for a brief moment and attempt to slow my heart rate. My eyes travel across the bar and my gaze collides with Cole’s, instantly stealing my breath.
There’s an intensity in his stare and electricity sparks on the molecules dancing within the distance between us. The corners of his mouth lift, transforming into the subtlest of smiles, yet one that brightens his irises.
So much for my heart rate calming down. Instead, it kicks into overdrive, pounding erratically and uncontrollably in my chest. The terrified part of me is urging my body to turn around and run in the opposite direction. Forget about my job and head out of Silverspur Springs without looking back.
Remi was incredibly wrong. This man is going to become a threat if he keeps looking at me like that.
Inhaling deeply, I force myself to take a chance and to do my damn job. I move across the bar, walking until I’m standing directly in front of Cole and his friend. His lips stretch, smiling at me as I adjust my weight on my feet.
“Good evenin’.” My tone hitches higher and it sounds foreign to my ears. I fight the urge to shake my head at myself for sounding like an idiot. I duck my head momentarily, grabbing two drink napkins and set them on the wooden surface in front of them. “What are we drinking tonight?”
Austin speaks first. “I’ll take a bourbon.”
“Make that two,” Cole adds, his voice a deep vibration against my eardrums. I didn’t realize how much I was missing that sound until now. It’s like a hit of dopamine my body has been craving.
I smile my brightest smile at them in an attempt to push away the lightening feeling that enters my chest. Turning my back on the two of them, I begin to busy myself with their drinks before taking the glasses over to them.
Glancing down the row of people, I tell Cole I’ll be right back and collect the other orders before returning back to them. They break their conversation to turn their attention to me.
“Will either of you be ordering any food?”
Cole nods. “Yes, ma’am. What about you, Austin?”
His friend nods as well. “If you have other people you need to take care of, you can just come back to us then. I’m in the process of trying to convince Cole to buy a boat.”
“It’s okay, I think everyone is okay right now,” I say after doing a quick scan of the other patrons. No one appears restless or like they need me at this moment.
Cole rolls his eyes and chuckles. “I already told you, I don’t see a point in buying a boat when I can use yours.”
“Well, what if I want to use it at the same time you want to?”
They both look at me, like they’re looking for some help. I shrug and laugh softly, looking at Austin and then rest my eyes on Cole’s. “He does have a point.”
He narrows his eyes, although there’s mischief dancing in his blue irises. “You’re not helping my case here, darlin’.”
“I like her,” Austin declares with a smile. “I mean, I might be saying that because of one sentence, but you’re helping me get what I want so…”
“Hey, I’ll take it.”
Cole glances between the two of us. “I guess I should probably introduce the insufferable asshole whom I call my friend. Ella, you remember, Austin, right?”
Austin rises to his feet and holds his hand out to me. “I do,” I say, shaking his hand. “It’s been quite a few years.”
“It has,” he agrees as he releases his grip on my hand and returns to his seat. “I’ve heard so much about you recently, though.”
Those eight words feel like a shock to my heart, causing the organ to come to a complete standstill. My breath catches in my throat, my eyes widening slightly as my mouth goes bone dry. I look at Cole and back to Austin, forcing my brain to say something, anything that isn’t stupid.
“I hope good things,” I manage to get the words out without sounding as nervous as I feel inside.
“Oh, yes,” he assures me with a gentle smile that twinkles in his gray eyes. “Nothin’ but good things.”
“Okay, she gets it,” Cole interjects and I silently thank him for saving me.
His eyes are soft and kind as he watches me for a moment as Austin rises to his feet and excuses himself to use the restroom.
Cole waits until he’s gone before speaking again.
“You’ll have to excuse him. His parents taught him manners, but I’m afraid he forgets them at times. ”
I laugh softly, appreciating the way he effortlessly changes the subject and directs it away from the fact that he’s clearly talked about me to his close friend.
“You don’t have to apologize for him,” I tell Cole, tasting the risky words dancing on my tongue.
They drift into my brain and instead of ignoring them, I decide to take a chance and speak boldly.
“If I’m being honest, I like that you’ve talked to him about me. ”
Surprise dances across Cole’s expression.
His perfectly rounded lips part slightly and he tilts his head to the side.
“Good,” he says quietly, almost like he can’t form a coherent thought.
The thought of that sends a surge of power through my body.
It makes me feel like I’m on top of the world, knowing I’m the one who threw his brain off kilter now.