Chapter Seventeen
In Backwater, word traveled faster than a roller coaster out of control. Autumn shoved her feet into her boots. A phone call wouldn’t do this time. What she needed to say had to be done in person.
“Are you going over there?” Ives stood by the front door.
She was pretty sure he wasn’t trying to stop her. He had been the one to knock on her bedroom door to tell her that Jett’s horse had passed away a couple of hours ago. Ives had been at the B and B when the call came in to Calista, who had hurried out to find Gage. Calista’s dad, Andrew, told Ives what had happened. Ives had come straight here and let himself in through the back where the lock didn’t work and any random person could come into her home. Good thing she lived in Backwater, Montana.
“He must be devastated.” She wound her scarf around her neck. Jett would never admit how upset he would be. He would hold it against his chest and carry it with him until one day he found himself alone, and then maybe he would release his grief.
That wasn’t healthy, and he shouldn’t carry the burden by himself. That horse was more than a horse for that family. That horse symbolized the life Ajay Ryker lost, and now Ajay would be lost to them for good.
“They all must be,” Ives said with a distant look in his eyes. He would know how much this death would affect this family. He might be a con artist, but he wasn’t stupid.
“Stay away from Karen.” She grabbed her keys. His heart might be in the right place, but Karen didn’t need him slinking around, playing on her vulnerabilities.
“I will. And I’ll cover for you if your mother asks where you are.”
She paused and looked long and hard at him, expecting to find a smirk of insincerity, but his face was grave and his eyes sad. He could be exactly what she needed him to be in rare moments. Too bad those moments weren’t consistent. “Thank you.”
“This might not be the best time to bring it up, but I don’t want to keep it from you any longer,” he said.
“Can it wait?” She wanted to get to Jett’s before it became any later.
“It’s waited too long. I should’ve said something sooner, but I didn’t know how. I guess the Rykers’ horse dying made me think how we waste so much time in this life. Weird for a horse’s death to do that, but I guess it has to do with Karen’s son Ajay really. He never got to live his life, and here I am an old man now, wasting so much of mine.”
“Dad, this sounds like a big revelation coming. Can we talk about it in the morning?”
“We can talk details then. But I want you to know I can save your property if you want me to.”
“Excuse me?”
“I can buy the land from you. I have the money now. You don’t have to find another buyer. It can stay in the family. For Quinnie. You can pay me back or not. It’s up to you. What do you think?”
“I think you’re picking the worst time to spring this on me.” She had a million questions, none of which she had the time to voice. Jett would need someone to be there for him. She wanted to be that person.
“My timing was always bad.” He choked out a laugh. “Just think about it for a few days. We can talk later.” He gripped her shoulder, then stepped away from the door.
“Thanks for understanding. We’ll talk in a day or two.” She slipped out the door without another word.
Her mind reeled from this announcement. Could she possibly sell her land to her father? That would keep it in the family, which she wanted, but did she want to continue to run the ski area? It was becoming increasingly harder each year.
She hurried to Jett’s place. Taking the truck was a little longer than walking through the woods. The hour was late and the temperatures freezing. Snow had stopped but had fallen just enough to cover branches that could be sticking out of the ground. She didn’t need an injury too.
What would she do if she began a new career? And what would she do if her father owned her land? He could always sell it out from under her without warning. Or gamble it away. But if she sold to him, then she wouldn’t have to sell to Jett or anyone else. She could keep her family’s land and her pride intact. What would her mother say when she found out? Vera had been thrilled to have Ives around. Ives’s owning the land would also mean he would most likely stay in Backwater. Her head spun with all the things to consider.
She parked in the back of the main house beside Jett’s truck and knocked on the door that led straight to his apartment upstairs. She didn’t want to come in through the front in case anyone was around and wondered what she was doing there so late.
Cold seeped from the cement stoop and right into her boots. She stamped her feet to keep warm and knocked again. No answer.
She sent a text.
—Are you home?—
If he didn’t come to the door or answer her text in the next two minutes, she would have to leave. He might not even be here. He could be out in the stables—the stables. She prayed Silver Bell hadn’t passed away in her stall. Or he could be in the fields dealing with this new loss. She would send another text saying she was here for him. She could always find him tomorrow.
The door swung open. Her finger hovered above her phone. Jett blinked a few times and scratched at his arm. His dark hair was ruffled. His long-sleeve white Henley opened at the neck and revealed a pinch of dark chest hair. The shirt hugged his muscular torso. A pair of blue sweatpants hung loose on his narrow hips. His feet were bare. She had to swallow the arousal climbing up her throat and about to burst out of her mouth in the form of a whistle.
“What’s the matter?” he said with gravel in his voice.
“Did I wake you?” She hadn’t thought about that possibility either. She had known she had to get to him, and that was it. Logic hadn’t factored into her decision to come here at all.
“I fell asleep on the couch. Is something wrong?” He craned his neck above her head and searched the small parking lot.
“That’s what I came here to find out. I heard about Silver Bell. I’m so sorry.”
“You heard…this damn town.” He shook his head. “Come inside. I’m freezing here.” He stepped aside and let her in.
She followed him up the steps, trying to keep her gaze off his backside, but those sweatpants outlined his firm butt in all the right places. He pushed open the door but waited for her to enter first. Even half-asleep he was chivalrous.
“Can I get you anything?” He went into the kitchen and popped a coffee pod into the machine.
She hadn’t been in this apartment in years. Jett had renovated it. The kitchen gleamed with stainless-steel appliances and a dark shiny counter. The cabinets were a dark wood. Everything in here yelled of masculinity with his leather furniture and wood tables. The large-screen television hung on the wall.
“Isn’t it a little late for coffee?” She unzipped her coat and unraveled her scarf. The space was warm, or maybe it was her being so close to Jett indoors.
“I can drink it and fall back asleep.” He held up a mug and raised a brow.
“Decaf?” She wandered over to the stone fireplace. It looked like something out of the eighteen hundreds, solid and strong like its owner. The wooden mantel—she was almost certain it must be repurposed wood—was bare without a speck of dust on it.
“Only at Gage’s house. I do have hot chocolate.” He opened and closed a few cabinet doors. His muscles flexed under the cover of that shirt, which wasn’t leaving a whole lot to the imagination.
“You do?” She had to admit she was surprised. She discarded her coat and draped her things over the chair.
“Izzy makes me keep it for her.” He tossed a lopsided grin her way.
Her knees wobbled under its hypnotic powers. “You’re good to your niece. You’re good to all the kids on the ski team too.” So many reasons to adore this man. She needed to stop.
“I try my best. Have a seat.” He pointed to the sofa where a red blanket lay in disarray.
She tried not to picture him under it. The image would only make her want to cuddle up with him. Suddenly, she was second-guessing her choice to come here.
“I’m sorry I bothered you. When I heard about Bell, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Clearly, you are. Of course, you would be. You’ve been preparing for this moment, and it’s not like you aren’t used to what happens to animals. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.”
She had to get out of there. Embarrassment burned her cheeks. They weren’t a couple. Only his wife or girlfriend would come to him in the middle of the night to help him.
As Calista had done for Gage. She had been envious of Calista in that moment she found out Calista had run to help her man. She and Calista had been friends once, and the four of them had double-dated many times before Ajay died. Calista had left town around the time Autumn and Jett broke up. But Calista had returned to Backwater. She and Gage had made their way back to each other, had righted the past, and were happy and in love again.
She’d wanted that with Jett in the moment her father told her about Bell. Foolish woman, she had forgotten for a split second Jett did not belong to her.
He gripped her wrist, stopping her from reaching the door. “Don’t go.” His eyes were hooded and glassy. Pain etched itself around his mouth.
She fought the urge to pull him to her and tell him he could let out all the pain he would most certainly deny he felt.
“Okay. I’ll stay.” She was helpless around him. She didn’t trust herself to know what rational behavior was, and that was the reason she had kept her distance all these years. She was powerless against the waves of emotions he evoked in her.
“Thank you.” He dropped her wrist and returned to the kitchen.
She followed, her skin sizzling where his hand had been. “Let me make you the coffee. Do you want it black this time, or are you feeling like some milk since it’s late?”
He stared at her but said nothing.
“Is that a no to the milk?”
“How did you remember?”
He had posed a very good question. One she could not answer. Not because she didn’t have an answer, but because she did. He was a scar upon her mind, as if a cattle prod had come out and hit her when she wasn’t looking. All these years later, after one fiancé and a husband, small but powerful memories of Jett would interrupt her day.
She could be driving in the truck, and a song from their past could come on and slam her back in time to the tree trunk by the stream where they sat together and he sang to her. Or she would be pouring coffee in the morning, and the aroma would hit her as if she’d never smelled it before, and she would be sitting at the diner with Jett, studying for finals. He would order a coffee with milk because it was past midnight and he thought it would weaken the caffeine. They would laugh about how silly that idea was.
She didn’t recognize that young lady anymore. She had been trusting and sure of herself and believed in her future. But life had been too hard on her and had taken her baby when she was only twenty. Something she thought about every single day and never spoke of because no one seemed to understand the loss she felt.
She had barely been eighteen weeks along. The baby wasn’t fully formed. People had told her to get on with her life. The one person who did understand couldn’t talk to her. Or wouldn’t.
“Autumn, are you okay?” Jett gazed at her with tenderness in his dark eyes.
“I’m sorry. My mind wandered there. It’s late. Let me get the coffee going, and you can tell me about Silver Bell, if you want.” She busied herself with her task, using it as an excuse to keep her gaze somewhere other than on him. But it betrayed her anyway and slid back to the man she couldn’t look away from.
He leaned against the counter and crossed his ankles. “There’s something else I’d rather talk about.”
“Sure.” The machine hissed and gurgled, pouring out hot coffee into the mug. She added a dash of milk and handed it to him.
His fingers grazed hers. That sizzling feeling he had left on her wrist shot over her hand this time. She almost dropped the coffee. He smiled as if he knew what he was doing to her. She returned to the coffee machine and ran hot water through it twice to clean it out and make herself the hot chocolate that she probably wouldn’t drink but would be a good device to keep her hands from trying to touch him.
“Why did you bring dinner to Markus Everett’s house?”
She froze with her back to him. Her hand was in the middle of tearing open the packet. How did he know that? Jenna must have spilled when she had picked up the food earlier. She had no reason to lie, didn’t owe Jett anything, not even an explanation. Her pride couldn’t take admitting how much she needed money at the moment. Especially to Jett. And especially because he wanted to buy her land.
“Why are you asking me that?” she said, facing him.
“Are you two dating?”
“When do I have time to date?” She tried to laugh his comment off, but the laughter shriveled up on her lips.
“I don’t know. But are you?” He put down the mug and stepped closer to her.
“I didn’t come here to discuss my personal life. I came to offer you comfort because your animal passed away and I know what that horse means to you.” She returned to pouring the hot chocolate powder in the mug, but he stilled her shaking hands.
“We can talk about Silver Bell till the sun climbs over the mountain. After you answer my question.”
“Do you have any idea how bossy you are?”
“Why won’t you tell me? It’s because it’s true and you don’t want me to know you went back to him. Is that it? Just say it.”
“I try not to repeat the same mistake twice.” But here she was in Jett’s apartment in the middle of the night making him a comfort beverage. Repeating mistakes might be her thing, actually.
He flinched. She hadn’t meant to, but she might have hit home on that one. Did he believe she had included him in that assessment? And if he was trying to get her into bed to buy her land, then it would be a mistake to be with him. But how she hoped that he coveted her and not her land, because she yearned to sleep with him. Mistake number two or three or twenty—she lost count.
“Are you going to deny that you brought him food?”
“Why do you care? Are you worried that Markus will outbid you?” Not that Markus had any offer on her land. Now with her father’s proposal still drying like paint on her mind, she would be in some kind of mess if Markus wanted to buy her property too.
Jett closed the space between them, sucking all the oxygen from the air. He smelled of cedar and bourbon and seductive male. His dark eyes smoldered with intentions she would be better off not indulging.
“I don’t give a damn about what Markus does. I care about you going to his house with dinner.”
“I don’t understand. Why? Dinner doesn’t mean anything.” She sidestepped him to get some air and clear her brain. With him so close, she couldn’t think straight.
“Dinner often leads to other things.” He pressed his lips into a thin, crooked line.
“You’re assuming I slept with him. How could you?” And all she had to do was tell him how wrong he was, but for a minute or two, she wanted him to think that maybe she had gone to bed with Markus. It would serve Jett right for being so presumptuous.
He stepped toward her, closing the space again. She had to look up to see his face and hoped she looked more confident than she felt.
“You’re a smart, beautiful woman. Any man would be a fool if he didn’t want to take you to bed. I might not like Markus very much, but he’s a smart guy. If he had a chance with you, he’d take it.”
Her heart stuck on smart and beautiful and couldn’t catch up to the logic screaming in her brain that Jett was not a safe bet. No man was, really, and she had plenty on her plate right now to take care of.
“I don’t see how what I do in a man’s bedroom is your concern.”
“If you’re going to be in any man’s bed, it should be mine. And not because I put an offer on your land. I don’t give a damn about that. I want you in my bed because it’s where you belong.” His pupils dilated as he ran his thumb over her jaw.
Her knees turned to mush. She gripped his strong arm to keep from puddling on the floor.
“Why did you go to his house?” he said, lowering his voice.
“Not because I’m interested in him in the way you’re implying.” Her answer would have to be enough for now. If he pushed, she would leave. She wasn’t ready to share how she needed any type of job offered to her in order to stay afloat or that Marcus had been the one to do it. Maybe she would tell Jett later—much later.
He cupped the side of her neck. His touch was gentle and warm. “Would you be interested in me kissing you?”
Dear Lord, yes. “Only if you truly wanted to and not because you want me to sell to you.”
“There isn’t much else I want to do right now. Well, I have a few things in mind, but kissing will lead to that. I also want you to sell to me. But one has nothing to do with the other.”
She could tell him her father was buying the land now, but once she said it, the words would become reality. She wouldn’t be able to go back on it because whether she liked it or not, she would not lie to Jett.
All her options played tug-of-war. The sexiest man she had ever known was offering her a chance to throw caution to the wind and tangle in his sheets. She could kiss Jett and let nature take its course regardless of how things between them would stand in the morning. He might only want a one-night stand, or he might want any means possible to buy her land. She could walk out right now and stand on the principle that she could not sell to a Ryker. Selling to Jett would kill her mother. Or she could sell to Ives and watch where the chips landed, risking it all anyway.
“What’s it going to be, Autumn? Can I kiss you?”
“Kissing you won’t change my mind,” she said. “I won’t sell to you. A Ryker can’t own my land. I’m sorry, Jett.”
She slipped from his grasp and grabbed her coat.
****
Jett ran a hand over his face. This woman drove him crazy. She’d shown up on his stoop all adorable in her puffy coat and huge scarf tied around her neck, with her pink nose peeking out over the wool. She had come to comfort him. And he needed that very thing. He wanted to be the strong one for his family, but somehow Autumn knew exactly what role he would take with his brothers and mother and still understood how hard losing Bell would be for him.
That had been the biggest turn-on. He had to control himself not to swoop her up in his arms and carry her to bed. But he had to get to the bottom of the Markus thing. He wasn’t about to compete with Markus over Autumn again.
She had seemed as if she were more than ready to kiss him a minute ago, except she had allowed her prickly pride to slide right in between them.
“Stop,” he said before she could get to the door.
“I don’t belong here.” She struggled with that oversized scarf.
“Tell me you don’t feel whatever the hell is happening between us.” He had been trying to ignore his feelings for her for years, then embrace the fact he needed her while he was standing on her mountain and she had somehow become planted in his life. Until she’d called him a pimp. But earlier tonight, when he walked back from the field with Lock, it had been Autumn he wanted to call and talk with about Silver Bell. He wanted to hold her until the pain in his chest subsided.
Instead, he had opted for a beer and the couch where he must have fallen asleep until she texted him, and the buzzing from his phone had sent him jumping off the couch.
“Whatever is going on when you and I are alone doesn’t matter,” she said, interrupting his wild thoughts.
“It sure matters to me. You think I go around idly wanting to kiss women? When I’m around you, all I can think about is kissing you and touching you and having you under me with your legs around my waist.”
Her face beamed red. Yeah, she was damn cute when he embarrassed her. He hadn’t meant to. He was being honest about his thoughts. And her tangled up in his sheets was something that had been on his mind a lot lately.
“You have always been direct.”
“Character flaw. Say it, Autumn. Say you don’t feel the attraction like I do. Say it, and I’ll let you go out the door and never bring it up again. But if you tell me you experience it too, then I want to take the few hours of night left and make love to you so I can lose myself in gorgeous you. I’ve had one hell of day. I need to remember what excellent feels like.”
“Is this a one-time thing?” She leaned against the door and tugged at that scarf. Her shoulders dropped for the first time.
“It’s whatever you want it to be. One night. One week. One month. One year. But you’ll have to choose. And that means dealing with the things you have been avoiding for a long time. Your mother isn’t going away, and neither is mine. I can deal with mine. Can you tell Vera we’re together? I won’t sneak. And I won’t hide. I’m not ashamed of who I am or who my family is and the mistakes we’ve made.”
“Will you take your offer off the table?” Her shoulders shot back up to her ears.
“No. It’s a good business decision for both of us.”
“What if I have another buyer? Do you still want to jump into bed with me?”
She tilted up her chin. He wanted to run his tongue over that chin and then down her neck and lower, but he wasn’t getting the signal she wanted the same thing.
“I told you one didn’t have anything to do with the other. I wish you understood I’m not like the other men in your life. Who’s this buyer anyway?” If whoever wanted her land would do better by her than he would, he would tell her to take the offer. He hated to lose out, but she needed to do what was best for her.
“My father.”
“You’re going to sell to Ives? Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Selling to her father was the worst possible idea. Ives had never done a worthwhile thing with his money or anyone else’s. He doubted Ives even had the capital or collateral for a loan.
“Just as good as selling to you.” A tilt of that chin again.
He forced back the laugh trying to escape. He would never laugh at her, but the idea that Ives would come in and save the day was ridiculous. “Where did Ives get that kind of money? And what is he going to do with the land? He could sell it right out from under you. Then what would you do?”
“He won’t do that.”
“I wish that were true. I wish he was the kind of father you have always wanted him to be. He can’t be trusted.”
“And you can?”
Her words stung. And after the night he’d had, his insides burned with her implications. He took a step forward. “I have never let you down. I have always been honest with you, and for the last decade plus, you have barely spoken to me. How can you stand there and say you can’t trust me?”
“You let me down when you wouldn’t share the pain of losing our child. I needed you then, and you weren’t available. You shut down and wouldn’t let me in. And even though you wouldn’t grieve with me—I wasn’t sure if you grieved at all—I stayed with you anyway only to have you break my heart by leaving me after Ajay died.”
He bit back all the words trying to get out. Losing their child had cut him to the core. He had no idea how much pain could rip through his body by someone he had never even met. Hell, at first he hadn’t been sure he wanted to be a father. But when the decision had been made for him, he could barely breathe.
But he held it together for Autumn. She fell apart. He held her for hours, lying in bed because she wouldn’t get up. He tried to tell her it would be all right, that life had other plans for them. That they were young and could try again.
When Ajay died, he didn’t have the strength to be strong for anyone. He folded in on himself, losing his youngest brother. Nothing made sense then. And he lost Gage because Gage imploded and left them all. Jett hadn’t been able to lean on anyone.
“If you’re still worried I’ll leave you again, then you had better go.”
“Fine.” She tugged at the knob, but the door wouldn’t open. She pulled once more, still with no success, then placed her forehead against the door. Her shoulders shook.
He hesitated. If he went to her, he could guess what might happen. He didn’t want her turning to him because she felt sad or vulnerable. He wanted her to want him. Plain and simple. He couldn’t promise he wouldn’t hurt her again. He could try. Would that be enough for her? Life was rarely simple.
His hadn’t been from the time he lost his father as a ten-year-old to losing his brother, his child, his woman. Running the ranch was not simple—ever. He didn’t shy away from challenges. That trait made him a good athlete. If he wanted to be a good man, then he would have to face the challenge before him now.
He went to her and placed his hands on her shoulders, bracing himself in case she swung at him. “Hey, I’m sorry.”
She lifted her head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did about your grief.”
“Would you please look at me?”
She turned, wiping her eyes. Her watery smile wobbled over her lips. Lips he wanted to kiss again. He wanted to kiss away all her pain until she felt nothing but the heat from his mouth on her, doing anything she asked from him.
“I would never deliberately hurt you. I want to take you to my bedroom and forget about the rest. But I don’t think that’s going to work for you. Sell to me and not Ives. And if you think that I’m only using you to get your property, then you should go. We’ll go back to the way things were before. It’s up to you.”