38. Tristan
THIRTY-EIGHT
TRISTAN
“You should leave,” Haelyn’s blonde friend urged, her teeth clinking against each other as her lips curled in annoyance. Merielle, I guessed. She crossed her arms to her chest and glanced at Haelyn who was standing frozen in front of the door. “This is not the right time to fix things,” she pushed when she noticed I wasn’t moving.
I stuck my hands into my pants pockets and leaned on my toes, my eyes fixed on Haelyn. She knew I was here, yet refused to acknowledge my presence. It didn’t matter. I wasn’t here to beg for her attention or forgiveness, I was here because I cared about her. I was here because I wanted to support her, and no matter how many times I tried to talk myself out of it, I still somehow made it to the hospital.
She needed someone on her side and even if I knew that’s why her friend was here, I couldn’t keep the distance between us going. I needed to be here in case she wanted me close.
“I’ll drag you out myself if you don’t leave.” Merielle came closer to me and talked through gritted teeth in my ear, then hit my shoulder with hers when she walked past me toward Haelyn.
She had quite the fire in her, that I could admit, but she could bring all the threats in the world and I was still going to be unmoved from my spot. I was already here and I wasn’t going to quit so easily.
Haelyn flinched when the blonde wrapped her arms around her. My fists clenched beside my body at the thought that I couldn’t comfort her like she did. If I wouldn’t have had fucked everything up, maybe I would be able to be there for her like a man should.
I wasn’t a man with many regrets—I always analyzed my choices thoughtfully before making a decision—but by all means, betraying her trust like that was my biggest regret.
The girl placed Haelyn on a chair two feet away from me and threw me a glance. “I swear to God, I’ll cut his balls, put them in a chopper, and have him eat it after,” she said in what was meant to be a whisper but made sure to be loud enough for me to hear.
If I wasn’t so focused on Haelyn, I would’ve laughed at her joke. She wasn’t the tallest girl I knew and it was difficult for me to imagine her pulling off something like that. But if there was something I learned, it was that underestimating someone is the weapon of a fool.
Haelyn’s head snapped to mine, her eyes burning red from unshed tears. “I told you to leave me alone.” She let her arms fall beside her body in defeat, a tired sigh rolling from her tongue. “Why can’t you leave me alone?”
I opened my mouth to reply, but then a voice traveled outside the room where her mother was. “Just like that. Perfect. One more time. How about your thumb?”
Her exhausted eyes doubled in size as her mouth fell agape. Her friend squeezed her with a small smile and Haelyn took a deep breath meant to suck all the air in the room inside her lungs. I could see the hope burning like a fire over her pupils.
“Oh my god,” she whispered, then brought her trembling hands to her mouth. “I didn’t imagine it, she moved.”
The blonde nodded. “She did.” Her arm ran up and down Haelyn’s back.
But then Haelyn took a step back, horror crossing her features. “I could’ve killed her,” she gasped, placing her fingers on top of her heart. “I was about to kill my own mother,” Haelyn croaked, her voice trembling along with her body.
Her friend opened her mouth to talk but had no idea what to say to comfort her. She moved her lips a couple of times, yet no words came out of them.
I stepped toward her, my heart racing as I waited for her to push me away as I got closer, but her limbs were frozen. I sucked in a deep breath and placed my hands over her shoulders. Immediately, her bloodshot eyes snapped to mine and her body turned rigid under my touch. I detested that was the effect I had on her. A small part of me hoped she was going to relax.
“Your mother is alive, Haelyn,” I pressed. “She moved today,” I continued and stared at the way her pupils couldn’t choose which one of my eyes to focus on. “The last thing you should feel is guilt for making a decision that was never meant to belong to you, but if that’s what you feel, let it all out so you can celebrate this win. I know better than anyone what it’s like to feel something you shouldn’t, so I won’t judge if you choose to cry.” The words just poured out of me and before I knew it, one of my hands curled on her cheek, my thumb brushing her hot skin.
She gulped this time, her eyes with a solid direction on my lips. I allowed myself to release a sigh, but it was so subtle I was sure it went unnoticed.
“Why are you doing this?” Haelyn asked.
I swallowed, then dragged her in my arms. Her head immediately found shelter under my chin and on my chest, her body hard as stone on mine, but still molding perfectly. “Because I can’t let you go.”
“I’m glad your mother is fine,” I told Haelyn once she was done talking with the doctor.
He didn’t guarantee her a fast or a full recovery, but he assured her there was hope and that they were going to do their best to take care of her and get her back on her feet, if possible. Apparently, the shock of her fall brought her to this state, but it was also common for patients to react differently to trauma. From what he said, finding out that her son died was enough to make her want to get out of the state she was in.
Until now, she didn’t want to fight, was what he told us.
She nodded, hugging her chest with her arms as her palms ran up and down. “Thank you.” Her reply was barely audible but loud enough for me to decipher what she said.
“I’m going to pay for her health care from now on,” I announced, placing my hands in my pockets as my jaw twitched.
Her eyes snapped to mine. “What? No.” She shook her head.
“It wasn’t a question, Haelyn. I wasn’t going to tell you and simply move the partial pay to the full extent without your acknowledgment, but I don’t want to do anything behind your back anymore.”
Haelyn’s brows furrowed, her chin coming forward as she analyzed me. “Partial pay? What does that mean?”
I knew she was going to ask and that’s exactly why I mentioned it in the first place. If I wanted a fresh start, she had to know the entire truth even if I didn’t purposely hide this from her.
“The hospital has a program where you can apply and pay half of someone’s healthcare as a charity, but it’s anonymous,” I explained.
“And how do you know you’re paying mom’s? Why wasn’t I informed that I had to pay more?” Her cheeks turned red as she spoke and her eyes moved from one side to another.
“You once mentioned your mother’s name and I put the pieces together. About informing you, they first try to find someone before telling the legal guardian.”
The reason they didn’t inform the legal guardian was because as long as they found someone to compensate the rest of the sum that needed to be paid, they chose to help anonymously.
She stared at me with blinking eyes and furrowed brows. I knew I surprised her, but I wasn’t sure if it was in a good or bad way since her expression was so locked up, with no intention of revealing what she truly felt.
Haelyn may think I’m only doing this in an attempt to get her back, but that couldn’t be further away from the truth. The only reason I decided to pay fully for her mother’s health care was because I cared about her and I wanted her to have a parent close to her unlike myself and my brothers.
Family was crucial in someone’s life and while my siblings were still alive, nothing compared to the advice and hug from a parent.
After my father died, I thought about reaching out to my mother a couple of times, but I couldn’t let myself approach her after everything she did to Ryker. So, in one way or another, I was left alone despite our large family. Truth was, we barely saw each other and when we did, it was thanks to our father’s tradition of flying to New York every month.
“I—” She started.
“You don’t have to say anything. I’ll go to the front desk and get things sorted out and leave you to celebrate the great news,” I said and pictured myself taking another step forward, then placing my lips on top of her forehead.
Instead, I gave her the smallest smile I had and turned on my toes, my heart accelerating in speed with each step I took away from her.
Things between us weren’t going to end here.