39. Haelyn
THIRTY-NINE
HAELYN
My eyelids were feeling heavy and my limbs hurt as if I had just run a marathon, so there could’ve been a serial killer staring down at me and I still wouldn’t open my eyes.
I was exhausted after the nights and days I spent at my mother’s bed, waiting with my breath caught in my throat to see her do the same thing every time—she would raise her thumb, and to meit seemed like she was getting stronger and stronger.
The truth was that even with the great news of my mother having a chance of getting better, I still couldn’t get over the fact that I was about to end her life two seconds before she moved for the first time in years. I would’ve done it thinking that was what she wanted when in reality, she pushed her body to the limits so I wouldn’t do it.
She wouldn’t still be alive if she wouldn’t have squeezed my hand that day.
And that thought haunted me every day to the point where I ended up like a vegetable with only one purpose: be there for her. The only thing I’ve done in the past week was spend time with her and whenever I wasn’t at the hospital, I was sleeping like the dead.
My mouth parted open and I relaxed to the bone, eager to get back to the comfortable and quiet place of my mind. I was just about to reach that place when a loud and powerful ring repeatedly sounded in my ears.
I jolted awake and was on my feet, blinking until the blurry sheet on my eyes went away and I could focus on the pissed blonde in front of me. My palms were clutched over my ears and I hoped my expression was enough to inform her about how angry I was.
Merielle was holding two pots in each of her hands and with a challenging smile, she slowly got them closer to each other, teasing me about repeating the sound if I didn’t obey.
“What the hell are you doing here?” I rushed and my head instantly started buzzing with pain. “You scared me.”
“You’ve been ignoring my calls for over a week and while I’m glad you’re getting your eight hours of sleep, you can’t make that your life now.” Merielle approached me with a step, putting the pots down as I flashed her an unimpressed gaze.
What was wrong with my life now? I was finally getting enough rest after a lifetime of working like a goddamn machine and my mother’s health care was taken care of. And I was also giving Merielle space with David. What was wrong with that?
She let out a sigh and a small smile rose on her lips. “Come on.” Merielle put her palms on my shoulders and ushered me to my wardrobe. “We don’t have much time.”
I frowned, still not sure I perceived reality as I was supposed to after the quick wake-up call I had. “Where are we going?”
My friend placed a hand on my shoulder and flashed me a smile. “You, my lady, are going on a date.”
I couldn’t hold in the cough fighting its way out of my throat and my bulging eyes at the quick realization of what she said.
Was she out of her mind? A date? Me on a date?
She was clearly not in a good place mentally to think or even believe for a second that now was the right time for a date. Reasons?
1. My mother—no need to expand on that.
2. I just got out of a—whatever—with my ex-boss.
3. I was jobless, living in a one and cold-room apartment.
4. I had a hard time figuring myself out, let alone putting the devotion to building a relationship with someone.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Yes.” She smiled and dragged me further. “No one says you have to marry this guy, but you need to start enjoying life now that you have the chance.” Merielle gave me a soft smile as I stood like a wall in the middle of the room.
“You mean now that Tristan’s paying for my mother’s health care and I don’t have to carry that kind of burden?” I asked, raising a brow and somewhat disturbed by the idea.
I was still coming to terms with that and even though he was doing me a great favor, I didn’t feel relieved at that kind of responsibility being taken off my shoulders because all I ever knew was providing for my mother. Now that was no longer on the list, what was I supposed to do? What was my purpose in life?
Not one time have I asked myself what I liked to do or what sparked passion in me, I only had one clear thing in mind and that was making sure my mother was fine.
Merielle’s shoulders dropped and a flash of guilt passed her face. She shook her head, pinching the top of her nose. “No. No. I didn’t mean it that way.” Her voice was quiet.
“I know,” I admitted and bit the inside of my lip.
She stepped closer. “Look, I want what’s best for you, and watching you lose your spark is the most painful thing I’ve had to go through. I love you like a sister and I know life has been tough on you, but I can’t just stand and watch you destroy yourself little by little. You weigh less than a feather and every time we’re not together I’m afraid someone is going to call me and say that you’ve collapsed. It’s the only reason I never keep my phone on silent, even though I hate it. I fear every day that something will happen to you because the truth is, Hae, you care about everyone else but yourself.”
Merielle took a deep breath and I found myself following her, tears gathering in the corners of my eyes. “As a friend, I have no fucking idea what to do and I understand if now is not the right time—because it’s not—but I’m afraid if I let you go on this way, you’ll glue yourself to a bed and forget what life really is. Sure, it’s mostly survival, but there are so many other things worth living and I don’t think you even met half of them. So, I’m so sorry if I offended you in any way, but the truth is, I’m fucking scared to lose you and this is me trying with all my powers to keep you above the waterline.”
Tears dropped on her cheeks and my heart sunk as I wiped them away with my thumb, my own cheeks wet when I dragged her in my arms. We both shuddered in each other’s hold and in that moment, the next breath I took was full of gratefulness.
I’ve never had someone caring more about me than she does and through our years of friendship, all I did was push her away thinking she was never going to accept the real me. When in reality, Merielle was ready to give her life for me even when the only thing she knew about me was my name.
She was so right. I got so used to putting others above myself that I didn’t know what living was like.
“How am I so lucky to have you?” I whispered in her hair.
Merielle broke the hug, staring at me. “Because everyone else was lucky enough to have you.”
I gulped, looking to the side as I hugged myself. “Not David.”
She sighed. “He’s starting to let me in. Last night we slept together in the same bed. We’ll recover from this, Hae.” She offered me a smile I couldn’t return.
“Does he know you’re here?”
“Yes, despite what you think, he cares about you a lot. He forced me to come and check on you.”
I smiled. I missed the douchebag. “Tell me when he’s ready for a visit.”
I let my eyes wander on either side of me, not understanding why a luxurious restaurant was empty. It was placed on a main street in Los Angeles where the roads were filled with civils and visitors. I was the only one there in the very center of it, dressed in a black strapless dress and a top coat that did nothing to keep me warm on the way here. Merielle drove me, but that didn’t make the wind outside merciful.
She never mentioned who I was about to have a date with. I just hoped she didn’t try to hook me up with a mafia member or anything like that, because judging by the way this place looked, it wasn’t for clean money pockets.
I dragged a breath, playing with the fingers inside my lap. Since I stepped out of Merielle’s car, I had a feeling. I couldn’t decide yet whether something bad or good was about to happen.
All I knew was that my stomach sunk and butterflies flew the moment the realization that I was about to have a date set in.
A sigh fell past my lips. I was here for almost twenty minutes now—Merielle made sure I wasn’t late—and I started to question if the anonymous man was going to appear or not.
When I stretched my hand to grab the phone on the table so I could check the time, I frowned at the unknown notification on the screen. I brought the device closer, my heart skipping a beat when I recognized the logo of the app.
It was from Unlock, but I was certain I had deleted it once Tristan and I ended things.
A gut feeling swirled in me while I ran my eyes over the words.
You got a new match! Click here to see your date.
I wasn’t sure if it was right of me to check it, but since it mentioned date, I had a feeling the man I was supposed to meet that night arranged it all. So with a deep breath, I touched the notification which then opened a tab on a chat. The person on the other end already had a name and I held back a shiver at seeing it.
Tristan Graves.
My stomach made a twirl and my legs tightened over each other as I read his name over and over. What was he doing? Was he my date?
Before I could think much of it, three bubbles appeared on a screen, followed by a message.
Tristan Graves
Hello. I know we don’t know each other and that this might sound strange, but let’s do something crazy.
I checked my surroundings before letting out a small smile.
What was he doing?
Not knowing what else to do, I tried to go back in time to that day when I first downloaded the app. When I never knew someone called Chad Bitt, when I was never hired at the Graves Company, and when I didn’t experience the worst kind of betrayal.
To my surprise, the idea excited me. Shivers ran down my spine and my bottom lip was caught between my teeth as I typed back a reply.
Me
like what?
It felt good to let go for once.
Tristan Graves
Let’s have a date. Right now. I can come pick you up.
I didn’t hesitate to play the game.
Me
actually, I’m already out…
Tristan Graves
By yourself?
Me
I was supposed to have a date, but I think he’s no longer showing up *sad emoji*
Tristan Graves
What kind of fool would fuck up the chance of having you?
I giggled into my phone like a five-year-old.
Me
his name was Chad Bitt, but he wasn’t THAT Chad Bitt. so I think it’s better that way *laughing emoji*
Tristan Graves
As long as you end up with me, I don’t give a fuck about the guy.
What do you say? Are you up for a spontaneous date?
Me
only if you find me *blushing emoji*
Tristan Graves
Los Angeles is a big city, Haelyn.
Me
I know *smile emoji* but something tells me you’ll find me in no time
Tristan Graves
You are right.
Look out the window.
I sucked in a breath and rose my head from the screen, my throat drying at the idea of seeing him again. Texting was one thing and having to smell him, feel him, and look him in the eye were other things.
Last time I saw him I was too caught up in the situation with my mother to acknowledge my feelings. But now, it was just the two of us and there was nothing else to distract me from him and what I felt.
With an inspirational fuck it , I looked to my left where the outside wall of the restaurant was a large window. Even with the dim lights outside, my eyes still found him quicker than a lightning strike.
My breath caught in my throat at the sight of him. He was gorgeous, standing there in the darkness with his broad shoulders and proud chest. His hair was falling over his forehead while on his hand sat inside his pants pocket as the other one held the phone that was lighting his face.
His eyes were on me and I barely could raise my hand in the air and wave at him. I smiled, though it was shaky. I was glad the distance kept us apart or he would’ve noticed my nervousness.
I thread a hand through my curly hair, circling it behind my ear as my eyes shied away. Finally, he moved from his place and started walking toward the entrance.
Boom. Boom. Boom.
My heart was fighting its way out of my chest as my ears perched to hear the little sounds of his steps approaching. I didn’t realize I was sucking my breath in until his scent tingled my nostrils.
“Hello, Haelyn,” a dark voice boomed from behind me, raising goosebumps all over my skin.