14. Shiloh
Chapter 14
Shiloh
W hen I agreed to be Sonya and Devon's DD, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The struggle to find parking was just the beginning. As soon as we got out of the car, the constant high energy and enthusiasm of the place drained me completely. Exhaustion hit me hard as we pushed through the mob, and I wished I was at home, recharging.
Sonya was living her best life, chatting and waving to the people we passed. Every time we went out, she charmed everyone around her while I stayed in the background, trying to be inconspicuous. Luckily, it wasn’t just her personality that was giant—she was, too, and I could hide behind her effortlessly. That was until she took off running.
I didn’t have the energy to follow her, so I waited by the door until she got her drink. Most people seemed half-past tipsy, so I pretended to be on my phone and avoid eye contact. But I made the mistake of looking up and instantly regretted it when I saw Caz's piercing gaze fixed on me.
She was the last person I wanted to see right now. Anger pulsed through my veins, but her expression was unreadable. There was a softness in her eyes, and it was probably shame. I glanced around to see if Ember was with her, but from what I could tell, she was alone. I shouldn’t jump to that conclusion because she could have been meeting her outside for all I knew.
As she stepped toward me, I darted in the opposite direction, fleeing like I’d seen a ghost. I bumped into people left and right, but I didn’t stop to apologize. I hoped she wouldn’t chase me and I could get lost in the chaos.
Once I felt a safe distance away from the door, I slowed my pace and collected my thoughts. What was I doing? I was better than this—better than practically ghosting someone. I needed to have a conversation with her and tell her how she hurt my feelings but now wasn’t the time.
When I looked over my shoulder, I couldn’t see through the bodies, but she was no longer in front of me. I quickly texted Sonya to let her know I had moved because I didn’t want to lose her. However, I didn't need to say anything because, as I turned towards the bar, I could see her dancing on top of it.
These were the poor decisions I had hoped to keep her from making, but I didn’t realize they would happen so quickly. By the time I reached her, Caz was already there, helping her down.
“Hey. You’re a good dancer, but you don’t want to show off those moves for free.” Caz was speaking to Sonya like a child, which she sort of was.
“You think I should become a stripper?” Of course, Sonya went there. She had always been an exhibitionist.
Caz laughed, and I missed that sound. If I were honest, I missed her. As mad as I was, I couldn’t blame her, could I? Ember was magnetic, and Caz probably couldn’t defend herself from her womanly wiles—I knew I couldn’t.
“No. That’s not what I meant. I think you might regret letting people tape you when you don’t know what they will do with it.”
“Oh, you think they’ll sell it and not pay me?” Sonya had no idea what Caz was protecting her from, and I decided now was my time to step in.
“Thank you.” I offered Caz a shy smile. “But I can take care of it from here.” I grabbed Sonya’s arm and moved her away from the bar.
“No problem. I don’t want to see someone get taken advantage of.” She did a two-finger salute and started to walk away.
“Wait.” I couldn’t believe I had stopped her, but something felt final about her leaving, and I wasn’t ready for that. “I’m on babysitting duty tonight and obviously not up for the job alone. Would you want to keep me company?”
She glanced over her shoulder, then turned back to me. “Um?—”
I was probably right, and she was meeting Ember. “It’s okay. I’m sure you’re here with someone. Go have fun.” I waved her off, but she didn’t move.
“I am, but let me text him to see if he’ll be okay flying solo.” She pulled out her phone, but the pronoun she used wasn’t lost on me.
There was a reason my therapist told me not to assume. It wasn’t because I would make an ass out of you and me. It was because my instincts were hardly ever accurate. That didn’t mean I was wrong about Caz and Ember having a crush on each other, but maybe I was wrong about Caz jumping on it. I didn’t know what to think, but I needed to talk to her to find out the truth.
“I’m all yours.” Caz raised one eyebrow as she smiled widely, and I was taken aback for a second.
With just one glance, she could stir up intense emotions in others, and I wondered if that trait could be taught or if she was born with it.
“Hey, I thought you wanted to go home with me tonight?” Sonya slurred a little, and I steadied her as I judged Caz’s reaction.
“I hate to disappoint you, but I will always go home alone.” Caz took Sonya’s other arm, and we walked toward the exit.
“Hold on!” We all stopped as I just realized something. “Where’s Devon?”
“Devon?” Sonya asked as if she didn’t know who I was talking about.
“Yeah. Your roommate. The other tall Barbie blonde who came with us.”
“I know who she is, but why are we looking for her?” Sonya didn’t appear concerned, which was a prime example of them not watching out for each other.
“Because she’s part of our group.” I sighed heavily, wondering how worried I needed to be.
“She’s with her boyfriend.” She acted like that was common knowledge, even though I didn’t know she was dating anyone.
“Okay. So she’s safe?” I double-checked, and she rolled her eyes.
“Of course she is. She just texted me a picture of the two of them.” Sonya showed me Devon, who was covered in marker and had a mischievous smile on her face, just like her “boyfriend.”
Caz’s eyes went wide as she caught a glimpse of the photo. “May I see that?” She tilted Sonya’s phone toward her, and she shook her head. “Wow!”
I couldn’t read her expressions at all. Who was the exclamation for? The man or Devon? I thought she was only into women, so by the process of elimination… But when I studied her face, it didn’t seem like she was commenting on her beauty. I was too tired to keep playing this guessing game with myself.
“What?” I posed the question in an open-ended manner, hoping she would share her thoughts.
“That’s my friend, Matrix. The guy I came with.” She didn’t appear hurt—more surprised. “Maybe that’s why he was hoping I would be ready to date.”
Her words seemed more for herself, but they begged a question for me. If she wasn’t ready to date, did that apply to Ember, too?
“Oh yeah? He’s the reason we’re here. He owns the place.” Sonya wiggled out of our grip while Caz and I were preoccupied. “Hey, why don’t we go golf?” That brief respite must have given her a second wind.
“Oh.” That wasn’t what I wanted to do, but I figured I should stick to my word and keep an eye on her. “Sure.” I stared at Caz expectantly. “Would you want to do that?”
“I think I might head out.”
I wasn’t sure what was going on, but something had shifted.
“Boo!” Sonya chimed in, and I glared at her. “What? You can’t leave when the party just started. That’s like quitting after foreplay.”
“This isn’t everyone’s idea of a good time,” I scolded, but she wasn’t bothered.
“Then why don’t you go, too?” Sonya put her hand on her hip, and had I not been worried about her, I would have.
“Because if I leave, it will give you an excuse to do something stupid. Someone has to hold you accountable.”
“I’m going to be with the owner of the bar. You think he’s going to let me fuck something up?”
“Matt is trustworthy. I’ve known him for a decade. I think she’ll be safe with him.” Caz’s tone was melancholy, and I wanted to offer her support or a listening ear… something.
“How do I know you’ll even find him and Devon? If left to your own devices, you'll inevitably end up back on top of the bar, treating it like your personal stage.”
“We can walk her to them. I have him on 360 and can see his precise location.” Caz showed me a pin that was him.
“See, Mom . You can hold my hand until I get there.” Sonya reached for me, but I swatted her away.
Caz led the charge, Sonya in the middle, and I ended the train. Outside, the music blasted at an ear-splitting volume, causing my temples to throb like a vise squeezing my head.
Fortunately, they were in the clubhouse with fewer people and less fluorescent lighting.
“Hey!” Caz’s friend called out, seemingly surprised.
Meanwhile, Devon and Sonya held hands, spinning around in a circle like they were playing Ring Around the Rosie.
“Hey, yourself.” Caz smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “This one is now your problem. Please make sure she makes it home safely.” Her voice was stern as she pointed to Sonya.
“Of course. Are you okay?” He reached for her, but she shook him off.
“Yeah. But I’m heading out. Super tired.” She yawned for emphasis, but it seemed fake. “Have fun.” She waved without waiting for a response from anyone.
I didn’t want to interrupt Sonya and Devon’s playtime, so I offered a head nod to Matt and rushed after Caz so I wouldn’t lose her in the cluster. I was a few paces back, but I wouldn't push my way through as long as I could see her. Once we reached the parking lot, away from the people and the noise, I called out to her.
She turned around wearily. “Did I drop something?” She patted her pockets and clutched her phone.
“No. I guess I thought you might want some company.” Something was wrong when she left, and I wanted to make it right.
“I appreciate you checking. But I’m good. You can go spend time with them.”
“What if I don’t want to?” I was embarrassed about how I had acted earlier and because of my prior thoughts.
Caz was a sincere person, but I had put her in a box with all the other people who had hurt me, and that wasn’t fair. And right now, something was bothering her, and I wanted to be the one who helped her through it—like she had been there for me.
“I’m going to be honest. You probably don’t want to be around me, either. I’m in my head right now, and I’m not sure it’s a good place.”
“I don’t care. That’s what friends are for.” I smiled, and she gave a half-shrug. “Do you need a ride home? You can maybe get some of those feelings out?”
“A ride would be great, but I’m not the sharing type.” I nodded because I had noticed that before, but I thought it was because she wanted to focus on me for work.
“That’s okay. We can sit in silence, too.” My goal was to show her the person I was, which was the loyal type, not the leaving type.
“Thanks.” Her expression was somber, but there appeared to be a slight smile behind her eyes, and I hoped I caused it.