23. Caz
Chapter 23
Caz
I tried to remain neutral about the fact that Davia was in the same vicinity as me. But I hadn’t seen her since that fateful day when she left, and I couldn’t stop my brain from replaying that scene:
“Hey, babe, I’m home, and let me tell you—” I stopped midsentence as I saw Davia holding an overnight bag. “Are you going somewhere?”
She appeared shocked to see me but quickly turned her surprise into anger. “I can’t do this anymore. You’re not my forever person. I feel like you’re constantly trying to change me.” She picked up a small box, which was already conveniently packed.
“Davia, what are you talking about? I love you for you. Where is this coming from?” I pleaded for her to let me explain—to work it out.
“We are two different people who want two different things. I can’t keep lying to myself, pretending I’m happy.” Her cold, unfeeling gaze was on me as tears stained my cheeks.
“Please, don’t do this. Tell me what I can do.” My heart frantically pounded in my ears, each beat echoing my fear.
“Don’t you get it? There’s nothing to do. Our time is up. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” She glared at me like I was the one ruining her life. “I’ll have someone come and get the rest of my stuff while you’re at work tomorrow.”
My only response was a waterfall flowing from my eyes and my body shaking with uncontrollable sobs.
“For what it’s worth, I hope you have a nice life.” Her voice sounded robotic, and I didn't even bother to turn my head as she walked away…
“Davs, come here!” The woman's words jolted me to reality from the nightmare I was reliving, and I clenched my stomach to suppress the churning nausea.
I sat stoically, keeping my eyes forward. I was no longer that sad, pathetic person who had begged for her to love me. My therapist said I couldn’t get blood from a turnip. Davia didn’t know how to love anyone but herself, so even if she had stayed, it never would have been a reciprocal relationship.
I gave myself a silent pep talk while waiting for what would come. As soon as her fingers grazed my back, I recognized the cold, familiar touch without looking. I fought the urge to shiver and pretended not to notice. But then she sat in the empty seat beside me, demanding my attention.
I casually glanced in her direction and gave a slight head nod as I finished my drink. "May I have another, please?" I motioned to the bartender, but I still didn’t fully engage with Davia.
“A Tight Snatch, coming up.” The bartender picked up my empty glass, and I hoped the poor lighting would hide the slight blush I felt at hearing those words.
“That’s what she said.” The sound of Davia's giggles filled the room. But instead of joining in like I usually did, I clenched my jaw.
Had that been something we both used to say when we were together? I didn’t remember that, but I had intentionally blocked out a lot from that time. If she wanted those words now, she could have them. They only served as a reminder of Shiloh, and I came here to take my mind off of her.
“That used to make you laugh.” Davia’s voice cut through my thoughts.
“Well, I’m a different person now.”
“So, you two did date?” Her friend leaned in to look at us both.
“I told you we did, Carleigh.” Davia rolled her eyes, and the two of them were invading my personal space.
“Excuse me. Why don’t I get out of the way so you can continue your conversation in private?” I pushed on the bar to slide back, but Davia stopped me.
“Wait. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other. I was hoping to catch up.” She fluttered her lashes, trying to charm me with her gaze.
In all fairness, that used to work, but now all it did was annoy me.
“Well, you have my number. You can always text me.” That was a lie because I had blocked her, but she didn’t need to know that.
“Caz, please? I’ve changed, too. And I’d love for you to get to know this version of me. When we were together, I made a lot of mistakes.” She stared at me with those icicles for eyes. “I hate how we ended things, and I’d like to make amends.” Her tone sounded sincere, and that part of me who loathed her for what she had done would appreciate an apology.
Maybe it would give me some closure so I could finally close that chapter of my life. It wasn’t that I was hung up on her or wanted her back; it was more that I was holding on to resentment that I needed to let go.
“Fine.” I was fighting an internal battle, but my body won and kept me planted in my seat.
“Here ya go.” The bartender placed the drink I had forgotten I ordered in front of me.
“Put that on my tab,” Davia stepped in, which was odd because she’d never paid for anything before, but maybe this was the new version she was talking about.
“You don’t need to buy my drink.” I didn’t know why I said that.
She could have bought me a thousand drinks, but that wouldn’t make up for the money she stole.
“Stop it. It’s one drink. It’s the least I could do.” Truer words couldn't have been spoken, and her smirk confirmed that she knew it, too.
I didn't want to prolong this interaction any further, so I decided to drop it. “Thanks.” I took a sip and focused on the little umbrella in my cup. “So…” I figured if she wanted to catch up, I would let her take the lead.
“So…” I could feel her eyes, and I glanced her way. I wasn’t a fan of the intensity of her stare. “You look… incredible.” She licked her lips, and I swallowed hard.
I had fucked her so many times in my head over these past three years, but something about having her right in front of me and giving me that thirsty gaze turned me off. Maybe I only masturbated to her as a form of revenge, because I definitely wasn’t interested in anything from her now, no matter if how reformed she was.
Sometimes, too much had happened that you couldn’t come back from, even if you wanted to. A grand gesture wouldn’t make me consider giving her a minute longer than it took to finish this drink.
“What did you want to talk about?” I ignored her comment and hoped that would show her I wasn’t interested.
“Hey, I have an idea,” Carleigh spoke up, and I turned to face her, realizing she was still there. “What if we play twenty questions?”
I firmly shook my head, signaling that I had no desire to expose myself to either of them. “No. I’m not playing games.” I reached for my drink and downed the rest of it.
“Why don’t you give Caz and me some space?” Davia glared at Carleigh, who sighed angrily before getting up.
“I’m going, too. Thanks again for the drink.” I stood up, but Davia quickly pulled me back down.
“You can’t leave. I want to know what you’ve been up to these past three years.”
My body was feeling a weird heaviness, and I wondered if the alcohol was already going to my head. I looked down and noticed Davia’s hand was rubbing circles on my forearm. I tried to focus on what she was doing, but her hand appeared alien, with far too many fingers.
Something was happening. Heat coursed through me, and the room was spinning.
“Talk to me, baby. I’ve missed you.” Davia’s lips weren’t synced with her words, and I wondered if I was imagining this.
“Shomethin wong?” That didn’t sound right, but I couldn’t get my mouth to cooperate. Oh shit… I reached for my phone and pounded all the keys, but I couldn’t get it to dial. As I swayed in my seat, someone kept me from toppling over.
“Caz, baby. You’re okay. Let me take you home.”
Who was talking? Where was I?
“Mm g’d.” Was that a word?
“Rita, close out my tab. I’m going to get this one off your hands. You must have made those drinks extra strong.”
There was laughing and other noises I couldn’t make out. Then two arms wrapped around me, one on each side of my body, but I was limp. I tried to force my feet to move, but they dragged the ground like anchors.
“Come on. We need to get her out of here before they realize it wasn’t the alcohol.”
What wasn’t the alcohol? Did I say that out loud? Who was I with again?
The last thing I remembered was the sound of a door shutting, and then it was lights out.