24. Shiloh
Chapter 24
Shiloh
O n my way to Sonya’s, I stopped by the store to grab her cheese puffs. Normally, it would have put me out to be her errand bitch, but since she was helping me, I let it pass. It only took an extra ten minutes out of my way, so I still arrived with plenty of time to prepare for my date with Ember.
Since she had told me she got off at two, I wasn’t sure if that meant the date would start then or if that was the time I was supposed to call. Either way, I needed coaching on what to say, what to wear, and how to act. Ember was someone I wanted to impress, and I could use Caz’s charisma right about now, but I still had no information on her. Matrix said he would call me back, but that was going on forty-five minutes ago.
As soon as I arrived at Sonya’s, I saw her and Devon gaming on the couch. That was Sonya’s job, and Devon usually joined her. I didn’t understand how someone could get paid to play video games while people watched, but leave it to Sonya to find a non-job to make a living.
“Hey, I got your snacks.” I waved the bag in the air, and she said some explicit words into her headset, which I assumed weren’t directed at me.
“And that’s what you get, mother fucker… Boom!” She dropped her controller like it was a mic and then looked at me as if just noticing my arrival.
“When did you get here?” No wonder she stared at me, confused.
“Right now.”
“Oh, yay! Thanks for the goodies!” Her eyes lit up when she saw the bag.
I tossed them to her, and Devon gave me a little nod.
“So, Caz…” Devon waggled her eyebrows, and a wave of confusion washed over me—as usual.
“Yeah. I’m still unsure where she is, but Matrix said he would let me know.” I assumed that was what she meant.
“Huh?” she questioned, and I figured she was high, so I dropped it.
“Okay. I need your help. I’m supposed to have a date in an hour, and I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Sonya opened the bag and stuffed a handful into her mouth. “Who goes on a date at two? Is it an afternoon delight?” She sucked the orange off her finger in a suggestive way, and I wanted to puke.
“Will you grow up? It’s not like that. We are going to get to know each other better. That’s all.”
“Oh, right. The only people I go out with before dinner time are someone I want to fuck or someone I’m embarrassed to be seen with. Which is it?” She turned to Devon, who nodded in agreement.
“She asked me out and told me she was off at two. What do you think that means?” It had to be the latter.
Ember was a breathtaking beauty who could have anyone she wanted. She probably felt sorry for me. Or what if Caz paid her to do it so I didn’t get humiliated? Would she have done that? Surely not. This was not the way to start my date. Sonya was the wrong person for this job.
Just then, my phone beeped, and I picked it up.
“Hey, Shiloh. It’s Matrix. I wanted to let you know that Caz’s phone is back on and she is in her apartment. So, there’s no need to worry.”
“Oh, thank god. I appreciate you telling me. Do you think I should check on her before my date?”
“Nah. She’s a big girl.” His deep laugh bellowed through the phone, and Devon must have recognized it.
“Hey, babycakes!” she called out.
“Well, I hope you have a good time. Can you tell Devon I’ll call her later?”
“I will. Thanks again.” I hung up and turned to Devon. “Babycakes will call you later.”
“I know. We have plans.” She stood up from the couch. “Later, chicas. I need to get shit done.”
“You’re leaving before the makeover? You’re no fun.” Sonya threw a cheese ball at her, and she swatted it away.
“Flo will get it,” Devon chuckled. “You don’t need my help. Shy is good as is.” For the first time, she made sense and was complimentary.
“Thanks. I appreciate that.” Caz was the only person who ever made me feel like I didn’t need to change, but maybe Ember would think the same.
“Shy is good, but once I’m done, she will be great!” Sonya’s words weren’t as reassuring, but whatever she offered was better than I had, so I would take it.
“Whatever. I’ll see you kids later.” Devon waved and headed out the door.
“Are you ready?” Sonya clapped her hands together, sending cheese dust flying.
“What did you have in mind?” I braced myself, afraid of the laundry list of things she would say.
“How about… we pick a shirt with color?”
“That’s it? Change my shirt?” That couldn’t be all.
She said she was going to make me great. A different shirt wouldn’t do that—would it?
“Shy, Devon was right. You are amazing the way you are. But sometimes gray is sad. You need something happier—upbeat—flashy!” She jumped off the couch and rushed to her room. “Come on. I have the perfect top.”
I reluctantly followed and sat on her bed while I waited for her to fish something out of her closet.
“Found it!” She came out holding a white short-sleeved button-down shirt with shiny gold pinstripes.
“Well, I would be swimming in that since you’re so much taller than me.” The shirt was busy, but not as bad as some of her clothing.
“Will you relax? We’ll tie it up at the bottom and leave it open with a crop top under it. It will be perfect.”
“Yeah? You don’t think that would be showing too much skin?”
“No way. It will be hot. Trust me.” She held out the shirt, and I could tell she wouldn’t stop until I took it.
“Okay. I’ll try it on, but if I don’t like it, I have veto rights?” I wasn’t sure why I asked it as a question. Caz would have told me to be more assertive, but luckily, I didn’t need to be because Sonya agreed.
“Of course. I won’t let you leave here unhappy. Now put it on and let’s see.”
I was already wearing a black sports bra, so I removed my gray shirt and slid hers on. She came over and situated it before knotting the bottom and cuffing the sleeves. Then she tousled my hair and stepped back.
“Wow! Shy, you are a little hot shawty.” She laughed, but this time, it wasn’t directed at me.
I stared in the mirror. It had been so long since I had seen myself in anything other than a solid color that it took a second for my eyes to adjust, but I didn’t hate it. It seemed like something Caz could pull off, and maybe it would help me channel her energy.
“Should I put on makeup or something?” I sometimes wore eyeliner and lip gloss, but that was about it.
“No. You have gorgeous skin and don’t need to cover it with anything. Now, it’s getting close to two. Do you know what you’re going to say? You mentioned she asked you out. Where are you going?”
I stared blankly. “She didn’t say. It was more like, I get off at two—call me.”
“Then you better plan something. If you don’t, she might think it’s a hookup. Unless you want it to be that, then just text her.” She nudged me, but I brushed her off without a second thought.
“So, should I ask her to meet me somewhere? Ask to pick her up? Or give her options to choose what we do?” I realized this was the first time I had ever been in charge.
I hadn’t dated a lot, and most recently, it was Yoni, whose idea of going out meant coming to my place. She probably did that so she wouldn’t run into her other “partners.” But that didn’t matter anymore. This was a different situation, and I had to figure out what to do, but I was spiraling.
“Calm down.” Sonya’s voice cut through my mini-panic attack. “Be chill for like five seconds and let me think.”
I shouldn’t compare, but none of this would be an issue if Caz were here. She would probably have the date set up for me already. Maybe I should text her again.
“Okay. I got it.”
I set my phone down to listen, but she stopped talking. “What do you have?” I prompted.
“Shit, sorry. It drifted away before I could grab hold of it. Let me try again.”
I was so screwed right now, so I decided to text Caz.
Me: Hey, remember how we went over those date ideas? Which one do you think would be the best option?
I saw the thought dots for the first time this afternoon, and relief coursed through me. She would give me something I could use while Sonya stood over there grasping at the air, trying to “catch” an idea.
Caz: I’m back with Davia. Delete my number.
Davia? Was that the girl who had broken her heart? Why would she give her another chance? Why did I need to delete her number? Was our friendship over? The nausea returned, and I could feel the uncomfortable churning in my stomach. Why was this happening now?
“Hey, maybe I shouldn’t go on the date. I’m not feeling well.” I looked at Sonya, and she stopped waving her hands around.
“That’s the nerves talking. Take her to Illumi-Links. It’s vibin’.”
I rolled my eyes. It was something, but I wouldn't take a date there unless I was intentionally avoiding conversation. That place assaulted my senses with an overwhelming mix of sights, sounds, and smells. The atmosphere was anything but conducive to romance.
“I’ll figure something out.” I didn’t know what, but this wasn’t it.
“Why don’t you call her on speaker, and I can help?”
She and I had a different definition of that word.
“I should probably do it alone. If you’re there, I might get flustered.”
“Suit yourself. I’m gonna grab a snack. You want anything?”
“Thanks, but I’m good.” Once she had left the room, I reached into my pocket and unfolded the napkin Ember had given me.
I couldn't resist running my finger over the hand-drawn heart at the bottom. I sucked in a deep breath through my nose, inhaling the flowery scent that filled Sonya’s room. As I released a long exhale, I dialed Ember’s number and waited. It rang and rang before finally going to a generic voicemail.
Had she given me a fake number? Was this all a joke? I checked the clock, and it was five till two, so maybe that was why she didn’t answer. I watched the time on the phone tick by and thought about calling again as soon as it struck two. But would that make me pathetic? My number was already in her call log. Maybe the ball was in her court now?
“Psst,” Sonya whispered from outside the door.
“It’s fine. She didn’t answer.” As I flopped onto the bed, a heaviness washed over me, weighing me down.
I wished Caz was here. Her presence had a way of soothing my soul and making everything seem lighter. Her text replayed in my head, each word echoing with the weight of uncertainty. The thought of her potentially being out of my life forever left me raw and powerless.
“What do you mean she didn’t answer?” She walked in carrying a pan of brownies.
“That’s what I mean. It went to voicemail.”
The moment the velvety chocolate touched her tongue, she couldn't help but moan. “Did you leave a message?”
“No. I don’t think I’ll call back, either. She has my number now.” I reached over and took a chunk. The gooey sweetness coated my tastebuds, but there was a hint of spice in it. They were different, but not bad. When I reached for another piece, Sonya’s eyes went wide, and I sighed.
“Sorry.” I pulled back. “I was stressed, but I won’t eat your food again.” Despite my gesture of surrender, she remained motionless, her mouth hanging open like a puppet.
I waved my hand in front of her face, trying to get her attention. “Are you okay?”
She was slow to react but finally spoke. “Yeah. Just so we are clear, I had asked if you wanted something before I left.”
“I know. And I didn’t, but that looked good. It was literally one piece.”
She was so weird when it came to food. She wasn’t the sharing type.
“Okay. As long as I’m not on the hook.”
I didn’t understand what she meant, but I shook my head. “Nope. I chose to eat your junk food, and I will handle the consequences.” I should probably go on a cleanse tomorrow anyway.
“Deal. Now, back to your problem. Maybe since she didn’t answer, it’s a sign that you shouldn’t go out today.” I couldn't help but wonder what had prompted such a dramatic change of opinion, and worry started to seep into my system.
“You think?” Maybe she knew something I didn’t.
“It might not be a bad idea to make her wait. Hot girls like a challenge. Trust me.” She pointed to herself, and I pushed off the bed onto my feet.
“Maybe I’ll let fate decide. If she gets back to me, I’ll go. If not, it wasn’t meant to be.” Honestly, at this point, I didn’t even care. I was more concerned with what was happening with Caz that focusing on a date seemed trivial.
“Okay, but if she reaches out, tell her you’ll do it another day when you have something good planned and make it for the evening so it counts as a real date.”
“Why have you changed your tune so quickly?” Her responses were out of character.
“When I went to get something to eat, I heard the voice of reason, and she said, ‘If you’re not ready, take a chill pill and sleep it off.’”
“What does that mean?” I stared at her quizzically, and she shrugged.
“What does anything mean?” She was making my head spin, and for a second, it seemed like I was talking to Devon.
“I’m going home, and I’ll let you know what happens.”
“Are you okay? Can you drive?”
I wasn’t that upset, so I didn’t understand her apprehension. “I’m good. It’s only five minutes away. I think you’re paranoid. You might want to slow down on the edibles.” I shook my head disapprovingly.
“Good idea. Be safe.” She got up and pulled me into a tight hug. “Oh, here’s your phone.” She put it in my back pocket, which was super weird.
“Thanks. You could have just handed it to me.” I removed myself from her embrace.
“Noted. I’ll do that next time.”
I wasn’t sure this day could get any more bizarre. But the only thing I wanted to focus on was making things right with Caz.