Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sofia waited until Declan’s cries had quietened. She wondered if all charters were this dramatic. Something about the close quarters and proximity to so much water seemed to bring everyone closer to tears. She pulled away so that she could turn to look at him.
‘Tell me what’s going on, Declan.’
He sniffed, scrubbing at his eyes and nose. ‘I don’t really know, Sofia. I’m so confused. Everything is so... intense.’
‘Preaching to the choir,’ she said dryly.
‘I don’t know what’s going on with you and Jack, but I really liked you, Sofia, and I thought I was over it or whatever but...’ He hung his head.
‘I wasn’t thinking, Declan. I’m sorry. I was so wrapped up with it – I mean, I’m probably as confused as you.’ Sofia didn’t know what else so say. She felt overwhelmed by the seesawing. Every relationship she had on this boat seemed to be in constant flux; it was hard to know where you stood.
‘I’ve never liked a girl like that before,’ Declan said quietly. Sofia’s heart heaved. ‘If I tell you something, can you promise to keep it a secret?’
It was the least she could do. ‘Of course,’ she said.
Declan looked scared for a moment and then determined. ‘Usually, I like boys.’ He searched her face as if expecting a certain reaction. ‘I’ve never said that out loud to anyone before.’
Sofia smiled encouragingly. ‘That’s OK, Declan, thanks for telling me.’
‘Except it’s not really OK. I can’t tell my parents, or my sisters. They always say that “all that stuff is for white people”.’ It might not have been completely appropriate but Sofia couldn’t help but let out a yelp of laughter. She was grateful to see Declan crack a smile.
‘You might be surprised, you know. Parents say all sorts of stuff about other people, but when it’s their own kids, it’s usually a different story.’
‘Maybe.’ He shrugged. ‘I think part of me was really relieved that I finally fancied a girl.’ He looked suddenly bashful. ‘Sorry, a woman.’ Sofia reached out and squeezed his hand.
‘When you rejected me, it felt like my chance at living a normal life was over.’
‘You call this a normal life?’ Sofia gestured around. There they were, sitting on the edge of harbour, legs swinging over the inky ocean at 4a.m., under the glow of the moon and the holiday yachts of the super-rich.
‘Fair point,’ Declan conceded wryly. They sat in a peaceful silence and then Declan got another wind.
‘I’m also pissed at Jack though. He was all like: “You should tell her how you feel; I’m rooting for you, man.” What a load of rubbish.’
Sofia had never seen Declan angry. It didn’t suit him at all. It was strange to think of them talking about her like that, but if Declan thought she had any insight into Jack’s motivations, he was about to be sorely disappointed.
‘To be honest with you, I have no idea what’s going inside that man’s head. Last night he was so...’ She caught sight of Declan’s expression and cut herself off short. ‘Never mind. The point is, he’s all mixed up. You could drive yourself crazy trying to figure him out – take it from me.’
‘Men.’ Declan rolled his eyes, and then they both burst into a fit of giggles.
‘I’m no expert, but it sounds to me like you like boys and girls. Also, you’re twenty-two, so you’ve got time to work it all out.’ Sofia wanted to ask about Patricio, but she thought better of it. There was only so much soul searching a person could do in one night. Even for the relentless drama mill that was the Lady Shelly, this had been a full-on day.
‘I think we should probably go to bed.’ Declan stood up suddenly, and Sofia grabbed onto his leg as he swayed precariously.
‘Easy now, let’s take it slow shall we?’ Sofia draped his arm around her shoulder and they made their way back to the boat. When they reached Declan’s cabin, Patricio opened the door before they got to the handle.
‘Oh thank goodness, I was sick with worry.’ Patricio took over from Sofia, fussing over Declan. Sofia smiled sadly to herself as she walked back to her cabin. Declan was better off without her. Love was supposed to be simple and everything she touched seemed to become more complicated.
Back in her cabin, she paused at the sight of the bottom bunk, stripped and empty. She felt silly as she climbed up the ladder, but it would have been strangely sacrilegious to go to sleep where they had been together. She needed to preserve some proof that it hadn’t just been another dream.