Chapter Twenty-Two
CHARTER CONFESSIONAL
CLOSE QUARTERS
ELIJAH JOUBERT: DECKHAND
PRODUCER
Wow, you look snazzy. Ready to celebrate making it through that charter?
ELI
Ag, ja, always ready for a bit of a joll. But first — got bigger plans. I’m taking Em on a date.
PRODUCER
Is that so?
ELI
Damn right it is. Been laying the foundation, bru.
A girl like Ember? You can’t just rock up with a wink and a cheesy line.
She’s sharp. Classy. Built like a fortress of boundaries.
You’ve got to earn your way in. So I’ve played the long game — flirting, check-ins on deck when she can’t sleep, compliments without being a creep.
You know, gentleman vibes. I’ve shown her I’m not just here to party and play games — I’m into her.
PRODUCER
And she said yes to the date?
ELI
Said yes with a little smile, too. Not that I was nervous or anything — I mean, come on. I’m charming as hell.
PRODUCER
So you think this is your shot?
ELI
No doubt in my mind, boet. And believe me when I say I don’t miss. Not goals, not vibes, and definitely not a chance with Ember Reed.
“So, are you considering it?” I asked Leah the next night as I curled my hair.
We’d somehow made it through the nightmare charter.
The casino night turned out to be a big hit with the guests, and by the time they were leaving, all the complaints we’d had to hear over the days spent with them melted into praises.
And they left a pretty fat envelope for a group that never left the dock.
Now, while most of the crew was napping and prepping for another night out, I was getting ready for a date.
With Eli.
My stomach tumbled to the ground. I wished it was filled with butterflies and I was giddy at the thought of spending a night with him, but truthfully, I was dreading it.
It didn’t make sense why I was dreading it — Eli was hot, hilarious, fit, and driven.
He hadn’t moved in too aggressively, but he also had made his feelings for me clear.
In every way, he was playing the game to win.
The problem was I had been playing a different game altogether with Finn.
And I’d definitely lost that one.
Though, I wasn’t sure there was a winner. Maybe Gisella, if we were drawing straws.
Either way, I wasn’t excited for my date, but I pretended like I was and kept myself distracted by listening to Leah detail her next steps with Cameron.
Which, currently, was to go back to Scotland with him when the season ended.
“I don’t know,” she said, blowing out a breath. “I mean, I want to. If I’m not thinking of any possible consequences, then my answer is a resounding yes. But… what do I expect to happen here? I mean, we go spend some time in Scotland and then… what?”
I offered a sympathetic smile as I started curling the next section of my hair. “I wish I could tell you it’s the happy ever after you’ve read about all your life, but… in our world?” I shrugged. “It’s hard to say.”
“Exactly. I mean, maybe we end up on the same charter together again. Or maybe we go do our own thing but meet up in the in-between.” She paused, kicking her feet where they hung off my bunk. “But then it’s like… a dead end. It’s not like he’s going to marry me and move to Alabama.”
My chest tightened at her words. They were so similar to the ones I’d thought when everything went down between Finn and me.
Except where Leah was smart to see the end in sight already, I’d pretended we could make it.
I convinced myself we could work together, travel the world together, and one day, make a life of our own together.
I never pictured us settling down, but rather building our own dream — owning a little sailboat, maybe, and circumnavigating while we worked odd jobs here and there to make ends meet.
I’d been a fool.
And yet I still wanted to have hope for Leah and Cam.
“Maybe you reframe it,” I suggested. “Instead of thinking so far down the line, what if you focused on the now? Just on whatever comes next? Right now, that’s going to Scotland for a while after the show ends.
Then we have the reunion. Then… you figure it out.
” I finished my last curl and grabbed my hair spray, ready to force these girls to stay in place even battling the Mediterranean humidity. “Could you be okay with that?”
Leah nodded, contemplative. “Yeah. Yeah, I really think I can. I mean, I don’t need to be planning our wedding already. We’ve known each other like two months.” She laughed. “I just fell hard for the sucker, didn’t I?”
I chuckled as I sprayed my hair, then turned to face her with a knowing smile. “Trust me — I get it. Easy to do when you live in such—”
I caught myself before the words close quarters could leave my mouth, and Leah and I both groaned before she laughed and threw a rogue bralette at me.
“Is that what happened with you and Finn?”
Her question knocked the laugh from me, my next breath sharp and hot.
I swallowed, touching up my makeup in the mirror before I slipped into the room to get dressed.
Gisella had scurried off somewhere after the deck team was released for the night.
I half-wondered if she was in Finn’s bunk and wholeheartedly decided I did not want to know.
But it was just Leah and me in my cabin now, and I wanted to be honest with her.
But I couldn’t — not with the cameras watching.
“Something like that,” I murmured, offering her a sad smile before I disappeared under the bright blue dress I was pulling over my head. When I emerged again, Leah was watching me curiously.
“Do you still have feelings for him?”
I should have immediately answered no and laughed her off at the audacity, but the question made me freeze.
“You do, don’t you,” she said softly. “Oh, honey…”
“It’s fine,” I said quickly, trying to regain my composure as I strapped my wedges on. “Some flames take a while to burn out, right? I just never expected to see him again.”
“And then he shows up here. With Gisella.”
My smile was tight. “Yep.”
“I’m really sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
“For whatever it’s worth, I don’t think you’re one-sided in those feelings. I’ve seen the way Finn looks at you. Maybe you should talk to him… see what he’s thinking.”
My throat was dry as I tried to swallow. I managed to shake my head, keeping my focus on my shoes.
“He’s thinking about Gisella,” I said pointedly, lifting my eyes to hers. “As he should be.”
“Maybe,” she combatted with a shrug. “But like you said, big flames die hard — and who’s to say Gisella isn’t just some sort of rebound?”
“It’s been two years since we split,” I said, throat rough. “I think the rebound period has passed.”
“So, Eli isn’t a distraction for you?”
Shit.
“I’m just saying… there are relationships, and then there are love stories.
I don’t know what it was like with you two, but…
just being around you in the galley? I know there was chemistry back then because it’s still there now.
And it’s not like Gisella is some angel.
She made out with my boyfriend the second hers wasn’t around. ”
I smirked at her. “So he’s your boyfriend now, huh?”
“Stop trying to change the subject.” She flushed, fighting back a smile before her eyes turned serious on me again.
“I mean it, Ember. They’re not married. I’m not sure Gisella is even that serious about them at all.
And maybe he feels the same. What if it’s not supposed to be over for you two yet?
What if there’s more to your story than what’s already been written? ”
There was a knock at the cabin door, and Eli’s deep greeting on the other side.
I stood, checking my reflection one more time in the mirror before I pulled Leah up and into a hug.
Her words battled to break through the walls I’d built up around my heart in the two days since Finn had his hands on me, but my forces stood strong.
I wanted so badly to play into her what ifs, but when it came to Finn, I’d had enough pain to last a lifetime.
“Our story might’ve been cut short,” I said softly. “But the ending would’ve been the same no matter how long it dragged out.”
I released her, smoothing the hem of my dress with a steady breath.
“So I’m done rereading it,” I added with a small smile. “Time to write something new.”
And with that, I opened the door and let Eli take my hand.
I wished I was drunk.
It would have been so easy to make my wish come true. If I would have ordered a wine with my dinner when Eli ordered his beer, or if I would have taken him up on the shot he suggested we take before we joined the others, or if I would have slammed back a double the moment we got to the bar.
But I didn’t do any of that.
No matter how much I craved the numbness I knew alcohol would bring me, I resisted it.
I was wary of the stuff since that night at the beach.
Had I been sober, surely I wouldn’t have done what I’d done with Finn.
That was what I’d convinced myself. And besides, I had wanted to be clearheaded for my date with Eli — I wanted to be in tune with every emotion so I knew for sure how I felt.
Well, my plan worked.
And I felt absolutely nothing.
Okay, that wasn’t exactly true — it was nice going on the date with Eli.
He was gorgeous and funny, and the conversation flowed easily between us.
But there wasn’t a spark in sight, not even a little tingle when he kissed me after dinner.
He’d smiled against my mouth and swept my hair back and kissed me with the mouth of an expert, and I’d smiled and giggled and willed myself to feel something.
I only wanted to run.
Now, we were back with the group at the club. It was the same one from our first night out, the liveliest we’d found all season, and everyone was letting loose.