Chapter Twenty-Two #2
Gisella was happily draped over Finn at the bar, her eyes glossy and smile wide as she talked to Bernard, who sat next to Finn.
Finn seemed lost in space, his eyes half-focused on one of the televisions broadcasting sports highlights.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say it looked like he was drinking water, but it must have been vodka.
I would have asked him, if it were any other night.
As it was, I did my best not to look at him or wonder anything about him.
Palmer was next to me at the other end of the bar.
I’d been trying to kick up a conversation with him, but he was short with every answer.
He seemed pissed off, but I couldn’t figure out why.
The way he glared at Gisella made me wonder if maybe she’d fallen short on her duties on deck.
God knew I understood that feeling all too well after our second charter.
Leah, Cameron, and Eli were on the dance floor, the first two tangled up in one another while Eli danced by himself like it didn’t bother him one bit. He kept finding my gaze and nodding for me to join him, but I’d just shake my head or laugh him off. The last thing I felt like doing was dancing.
And yet… I decided maybe I should.
So what, I didn’t feel a connection right away?
Eli was nice. He was putting in the effort.
Maybe it would be a slow burn with us. Not every romance felt as explosive and all-consuming as the one I had with Finn did.
In fact, I’d bet that most stable relationships felt the opposite: warm instead of hot, comfortable instead of unpredictable, safe instead of adventurous.
Maybe I just needed to give Eli a chance.
Once again, I found myself wishing to be drunk, but I somehow found courage despite being sober and made my way to the dance floor.
Eli threw his hands up in victory. “There she is!” He let out a loud wolf whistle that had Leah laughing and Cameron jumping in with a few hollers of his own.
My cheeks were on fire by the time I made it to them, and I realized just how much of a crutch alcohol was for me in that moment.
Because where I was never shy dancing when I had liquor running through my veins, I found everything awkward about my current attempt.
My limbs felt stiff. The beat pulsed around me, but I couldn’t quite find the rhythm.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to do it alone.
I barely put my hands in the air and moved my hips before Eli was there, pulling me into him.
His grin took up his entire face, mischievous and unbothered, and then his hands were on my waist, warm and confident and touching me like the simple kiss we’d shared after dinner was the checkered flag for him to start the race.
His leg slid between mine, thigh pressing just enough to jolt my senses, and he rocked us to the rhythm like we’d been dancing together for years.
He didn’t give me a chance to think. He just moved — wild and smooth, grinning, spinning me in a circle before yanking me back against him.
My laughter came easy then, surprising me with how genuine it felt, how easy it felt.
His arm wrapped around my middle, holding me flush to his chest as we moved together in time with the bass that thudded like a second heartbeat.
And still, I felt nothing past a friendly affection.
Eli was giving it his all — smiling, touching, moving with me like we were the only two people in the club. And I was trying. God, I was trying. I looped my arms around his neck, let him tug me closer, let my body lean into his.
But it was like I was watching someone else dancing, I was so disconnected.
What was wrong with me?
Eli was everything I should want. Gorgeous. Kind. Confident. Fun. He wanted me and he was showing me that. He didn’t have a fucking girlfriend — which was a big plus considering where my brain wanted to go.
I was still stuck in a memory I couldn’t crawl out of.
And alcohol or not, I found myself wondering if Finn was watching.
I told myself not to look.
I put all my willpower into smiling with Eli, into mirroring his movements with my own and staying in the present moment with him. I tried rationalizing with that very foolish, very loud voice inside my head.
But a few minutes was all I got before I folded like a house of cards.
My gaze drifted to the bar, to the far right where I knew he’d been, and sure enough… there Finn was.
Sitting with that same drink in his hand.
Watching.
His eyes weren’t half-lidded or distracted now. They were on me — locked in, challenging, burning. Like he knew exactly what I was doing. Like he was daring me to keep going.
Gisella was gone. Bernard, too. It was just Finn left at the bar. And without any threat of someone seeing, I found it impossible to tear my gaze away.
And for the first time all night, I ignited.
It was absolutely unhinged behavior, grinding against Eli with my eyes on Finn. I hadn’t felt an ounce of electricity from Eli alone, but now, I was molten. Sweat pricked the back of my neck, my skin flushing, heart racing out of my chest.
I should have dragged my gaze from his.
Instead, I gave him something to watch.
I turned back to Eli with new fire in my veins. My hands slid up his chest, slow and deliberate, curling around his neck. He grinned, surprised at the sudden shift, and before he could say a word— I kissed him.
It was an awkward clang of teeth at first, but then his mouth opened to mine instantly, like he’d been waiting for it, like he’d been dreaming of it. His hands roamed as our tongues tangled, the kiss deep and messy and hot. But I knew I didn’t feel that heat from the man kissing me.
It was the one watching us from across the bar who held the torch.
A sudden jerk of Eli’s shoulders had us breaking apart.
Cameron practically climbed on his back like a monkey, ruffling his hair as Eli laughed and spun him around.
Leah grabbed me by the arm, and I leaned into her in a fit of giggles before Eli dropped Cameron to the ground and snatched me by the waist, pulling me into him again.
“Damn,” he said, his tipsy eyes dragging the length of me. “Where’ve you been hiding that?”
I just smiled, pulling back, fingertips trailing down his chest as my heart continued to race.
“I need to hit the ladies’ room,” I said. “I’ll be back.”
He held onto my hand even as I walked away, and I laughed when he finally released me and then dropped to his knees and pretended like he was praying to God.
Cameron played into his dramatics, and even Bernard joined in, the two of them fanning Eli as he faked passing out and they carried him off to the bar.
Leah looped her arm through mine to join me in the bathroom, but before we made it, I pulled to a stop.
“I actually think I just need some air,” I said over the music, squeezing her wrist. “I’ll catch you back out there?”
She nodded, a happy, drunk smile on her face, and then she made a beeline for the restrooms and I took the first exit outside.
The door was only shut for thirty seconds before it banged open behind me.
I didn’t have to look to know who it was.