Chapter 19 #3
"Seriously?" When she nodded, he asked, "What is it?"
"Nice try." She wagged a finger at him. "You'll have to wait until your birthday to find out.
" He continued to study her with a perplexed expression as she turned her attention back to his mom and sister.
"You know how Gabe is—always taking care of everyone else—but doesn't want anyone to make a fuss over him. "
"He's always been like that," Marisol said. "He never wants anything big. He's content with a book or new socks."
Paige grinned, proud of herself for recognizing that part of Gabe's personality before getting to know him.
And at his mother's mention of a book, an idea formed in the back of her mind as she recalled the memory book Amy made for Ben after Cassey was found.
Maybe she could do something to preserve Gabe's memories of his mother.
She didn't have much time though. She'd have to think long and hard about it and enlist Grace's help.
"Grace and I will think about it and see if we can come up with some ideas for you." Marisol picked up her plate and stood from the table.
"Actually, you already gave me one." She darted a glance at Gabe before turning back to Marisol and Grace. "But I'm going to need your help."
"Help with what?" Curiosity filled Gabe's voice.
"It's a surprise, birthday boy." Paige patted his chest before standing. "I'll call or text you ladies tomorrow."
"I hate surprises," Gabe grumbled.
"We know," Grace and Marisol said in unison. Then Grace added, "That's why we like planning them for you."
Considering Gabe's serious nature and how intentional he was in everything he did, Paige didn't doubt he hated surprises. Especially when they came in the form of his dad walking out, his fiancée leaving him at the altar, and his mother receiving a diagnosis of stage-four cancer.
Once the kitchen was clean, they settled in the family room to play games, where Paige found herself repeatedly laughing about one thing or another. Gabe's mom and sister were so easy to get along with.
Even though she and Gabe were partners in some of the games and sat beside each other, Paige couldn't help but feel the emotional distance he’d put between them. One moment he was kissing her in the kitchen, and the next, he was throwing up walls.
She couldn't help thinking about what she went through with Phillip. He’d said he cared about her, but he was slow to text her back or answer her calls? In this case, why didn't Gabe touch her?
It was dusk by the time they left Gabe's mom's house. He’d grown quieter over the course of the evening. So much so, Paige was certain she'd done something wrong.
With the silence in the car growing more oppressive by the mile, the drive back to Gabe's apartment lasted an eternity. Paige wanted to ask him what she'd done wrong, but she feared he’d tell her he'd changed his mind and didn't want her to be his fake girlfriend anymore.
Gabe had been insistent about opening her door, so she waited for him to let her out when they arrived back at this apartment. She walked straight to her own car, then stopped before opening the door.
I can't leave things like this.
It would drive her crazy all week wondering where they stood. The irony that the tables had turned from this morning was not lost on her.
She turned to find him standing closer than she expected. "Did I do something wrong?"
"No, of course not. Why would you think that?" He moved back a step. The dim streetlight cast shadows over his face, and she struggled to read his expression.
She propped a hand on her hip. "You acted like you didn't want anything to do with me all evening."
"That's not true."
"Then why did it feel like you avoided me?"
"I'm sorry." Gabe let out a sigh and studied the ground. "I'm trying not to make this harder on both of us."
"How does you rejecting me in a fake relationship make this…" She motioned in a circle with her hand. "…easier?" Anger sharpened her words.
"I didn't reject you."
"Didn't you?" Both hands were on her hips now as she cocked a brow.
"One minute you're kissing me in front of your mom and sister, and the next, you're pulling away.
I've had enough duplicity and rejection to last me a lifetime.
I don't need you playing games with me too.
" She turned to open her car door, but Gabe put a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm not trying to play games with you, Paige. The last thing I want is to hurt you." He withdrew his hand and raked it through his hair. "You were right when you said this relationship may be fake, but it's still a relationship. Fake or not, it's possible to develop real feelings."
Paige's heart stuttered. Was Gabe saying what she thought he was?
"The closer we get in this fake relationship, the more likely I am to disappoint you when I don't measure up to your expectations." His expression was as grim as his tone.
"What expectations?" She frowned in confusion. "You've already played your role where Phillip is concerned."
"That's not what I meant." He let out a sigh of frustration.
"Pretending in front of my mom lets us—I mean me—act as if we're in a real relationship.
" His voice grew husky as he continued. "Every touch, every kiss, makes me fall a little more for you, Paige. But it’s wrong of me to lead you on like that. "
Paige didn't know it was possible to feel a rush of warmth and cold chills at the same time. Shouldn't it be impossible to feel excited and giddy when her chest was so tight she could hardly breathe?
"So, what are you saying?" She folded her arms. "Are you ready to tell your mom the truth or…" She didn't want to voice the other option, but she needed to know the answer. "Or do you want to stage a break-up?"
"No, neither of those," he said quickly. "I just don't want you to get your hopes up, because I'll end up letting you down when I can't give you the kind of time and attention you deserve."
Too late.
Her hopes were already up, and by distancing himself, he was letting her down. Paige schooled her features, trying to hide how much his words hurt.
"Because you need to focus on your mother." She understood what he was saying, and she hated it. But that made her feel selfish and insensitive, considering what he was going through.
His only response was a nod.
He was afraid he'd neglect her like he did Harper. Who knows, maybe he would, but Paige was coming to realize she cared for him too much to walk away. Even though it might break her heart to have to wait for who knows how long for him to come around, she could never set her sight elsewhere.
She didn’t understand why God had led her here—to Gabe—but she felt strongly that she was supposed to be with him. She couldn't tell him that though. It wasn't fair to put that kind of pressure on him when he was dealing with so much.
"Thanks for being honest with me." She opened her car door.
"I guess we'll just ignore the chemistry in our fake relationship, like we are in our…
non-relationship." Forcing an air of casualness into her voice, she climbed into her car.
"Easy peasy." She shot one last look his way before closing the door. "Good night, Gabe."