Chapter 8
Isomehow choke down two lukewarm beers while we sit around the fire. Part of me wishes I was spending the night here. The combination of the fire, the simmering sunset, and the beer put me in some kind of trance.
The staccato beats from the reggae are still ringing in my ears.
I never thought I’d be a reggae girl, but the way music mixes with the steady rhythm of the river makes me think I could be convinced.
Kai and Maverick tag along with us to the bar.
It’s literally called The Cowboy Bar. For some reason, the cheesiness of that doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It might in the morning.
Reid drives us there in his van as the other guys follow behind.
Leaving Willa in the boat yard makes me nervous, but they assure me it will be okay.
Reid parks and leaves his hand on the shift lever.
His forearm flexes in the most delicious way, and I have to force my gaze to the dash.
He contorts himself over the console, and his shoulder brushes my own.
“What are you looking for?”
He’s digging through his pile of clothes. I don’t know what he’s looking for or if he’ll ever find it. His ass is right in my face, and it’s a pure test of will to keep myself from reaching out to see if it’s as toned as it looks.
Reid’s voice comes out muffled through the back of the passenger seat. “Finally.”
He pulls out a pair of size eight pink cowboy boots, my cowboy boots. I’m smiling like an idiot. Before I let myself think better of it, I reach across the console and give him a tight hug.
Reid pulls away first this time. “Put ‘em on, cowgirl.”
He layers on a thick country accent. I love the way Reid can turn absolutely everything into a bit.
I’m wearing a dress for once—it’s light blue with little embroidered flowers. Stepping out of the car, I pull each boot on. Twirling in a circle, I tip my pretend hat at Reid as I finish my rotation.
I’ll spin all night if he keeps smiling like that.
“We’ll have to get you a hat.”
I can’t tell if he’s joking or not, but I’ll get a matching hat if he wants me to.
It feels like I’m dressing up on Halloween.
I’m not my usual uptight self who plans her every breath, just a carefree girl in a cowboy bar waiting for her cowboy to sweep her off her feet.
I’m happy to be that, if only for a night.
Shutting the passenger door, I walk towards the bar, but Reid grabs my arm and re-opens the door behind me.
He grabs my leather jacket off of the seat and starts to drape it across my shoulders.
I wasn’t planning on bringing it. It’s not that cold, and it’s my comfort jacket.
I always hide myself under its oversized sleeves, letting the familiar smell of leather comfort me.
The girl I want to be tonight doesn’t need a comfort object. That’s just pathetic.
“You might get cold.”
I take it off and put it back in the car. “I’ll be fine.”
He raises his eyebrow at me and I see a flash of something across his eyes, but it’s gone before I can clock it.
We walk side by side up to the bar. There’s a patio out front filled with small tables and barstools. An old country song is playing, and the smell of greasy potatoes calls to me from a distance. I tug on Reid’s flannel and ask, “Can we get burgers?”
The music gets louder as we open the saloon style doors. I can’t hear his reply. He bends down til he’s towering over me and whispers gently into my ear, “Of course we can get burgers. Why do you think I brought you here?”
How could I possibly crush on any other guy when Reid knows that I want a burger even in my girly little free spirit cosplay? He orders for me, and the feminist in me usually hates that, but right now all I feel is relief at the fact I don’t have to talk to the burly lumberjack behind the counter.
I find us a high top table with three chairs and lean against it, waiting for those double doors to reveal Riley’s bouncy blonde curls.
Reid and Riley are my two favorite people on this earth, and having them both in the same place at the same time is going to be a fucking delight. All that is missing right now is Riley’s brother, Parker. I’m looking forward to seeing him later this season when we’re in California.
I feel tense without a drink to fiddle with.
Shifting on the heels of my boots, I lose my footing a little.
Someone catches me—I hope it’s Reid, but I know it’s not as soon as the overwhelming cologne hits me.
I don’t recognize him, but he clearly knows me.
He steadies me as I reach for the table.
It grounds me, that way I can shrug him off of me.
“Baddie Addie in the flesh.”
The blush is involuntary—I hate that nickname even more than I hate Blondie.
But it’s how everyone on the circuit refers to me, so I need to get over it.
Every rider gets anointed with some catchy nickname eventually, and that’s the one that stuck with me.
I’m not sure I’ll ever be completely comfortable with the sexual connotation that it carries.
He has jet black hair and striking blue eyes. His skin is a light tawny color and his accent is alluring. He’s objectively stunning, but I still can’t place his name even though I know I’ve seen him at many races.
“Oh, I’m wounded.” He clutches his chest like he’s in pain, but it’s not nearly as charming as when Reid does it.
“I’m sorry. I’m not great with names.”
He brushes it off like it’s no big deal, but I’ve threatened his ego a little. Honestly, I don’t even feel bad about it. Most riders could use a reality check.
“I almost didn’t recognize you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in a dress.”
The fabric of my dress feels scratchy between my fingers. I’m missing my comfort jacket right about now. I feel exposed, and I hate that Reid once again knows me better than I know myself.
Who did I think I was? I can’t pull off a skimpy little sundress in a dive bar no matter how hard I try.
He’s still looking me up and down like I’m a doll on display for him. His piercing blue eyes no longer feel alluring. They’re pissing me off now. Those blue orbs land on me and I want to retreat into my shell, but I left it in the fucking car like an idiot. “You look great, Addison.”
“Her name is Adelaide.” Reid’s voice swells behind me as he sets down a tray with our food and drinks on the table.
His bicep rests on my left shoulder as he drapes a possessive arm around me.
It almost feels like he’s staking claim on me. I’m sure that would be hot if we were actually together, or if I thought he was even the slightest bit attracted to me. Instead, it feels a lot like my older brother trying to make sure I don’t have a one night stand, and it pisses me off.
Is that why he wanted me to wear my jacket? So I’d remain a spinster in my fancy van all race season? I shrug his arm away, keeping to myself that I’m pissed at him.
My plan is to flirt with what’s his name, but that plan goes out the window the second I spot him staring at Riley as she enters the bar.
I can’t blame him. Blue eyes immediately makes his way over to her before she can even cross the threshold of the entrance.
She lets the saloon doors swing shut behind her too aggressively, and a loud clang rings out over the lull in the music.
Riley doesn’t even notice—she never does.
She’s the type to cause an accident and not even realize she did it because she makes it out on the other side unscathed. Riley has always been that way. A little oblivious and a touch inconsiderate, even if she doesn’t mean to be. She walks around with rose colored glasses on…literally.
Her staple accessory is a pair of ray bans that color everything a bit pink.
It extends to her life philosophy, and I’m endlessly jealous of it.
The blue-eyed douche bag starts trying to flirt with her, but she’s focused on me.
She takes off into a full run and almost knocks someone’s tequila soda out of their hands.
I want to run to meet her, but I can’t get myself to move. Riley lifts me an inch off the ground, even though she weighs a good twenty pounds less than me. It’s so good to see her that I immediately forget that I’m mad at Reid.
She lets go after nearly squeezing the life out of me and levels a glare at Reid. Her tone is accusatory. “You told her I was coming.”
Her hands are on her hips. It’s a comical sight. She’s so short and wearing an excessive cowgirl get up, yet she’s trying to be intimidating. I can see that Reid wants to laugh, but kudos to him for holding it together. He pleads with his eyes. “Please forgive me. I had to.”
He throws his hands up in the air and puffs out his bottom lip. He’s perfected his puppy dog eyes over the years, and they unfortunately work like a charm. Resting my hand on the table, I defend Reid, “It’s not his fault. I was anxious and he was just trying to make me feel better.”
Riley’s eyes immediately fill with concern, and I regret bringing up my anxiety. She’s the only one that knows how debilitating it can be. For a while, I would call her whenever I was having a particularly bad day.
When someone is full of light, showing them even a dash of your darkness feels wrong. Every time I told her I was having a bad mental health day she took it personally, as if she could spirit away the illness.
She never could though, and I always felt like that was on me. Like I was breaking her with my brokenness. Obviously anxiety isn’t contagious, but it seemed like I was transferring my fears and lack of confidence onto her.
Riley should keep burning bright, just like she’s meant to. Now, I only call her when I’m feeling good and try my best to show her the highlights.
Simply being around her warmth makes me feel lighter. She doesn’t need to know my dark thoughts. Those are for me to suffer through alone.
“It’s okay, Ri. I’m okay.”
She glares at Reid again like it’s somehow his fault. If anything, it’s the opposite. Reid keeps me grounded, even if he doesn’t know it. He’s steady and unmoving in his positivity. I need him, and that’s why I can never tell him how I really feel. I’ll drift away without my tether.
I try to brush it off, but she keeps nudging me like she wants me to spill. Instead, I fill my mouth with my burger. I feel more and more exposed every time the sleeve of my dress slips down a little.
The third time it falls, I catch Reid looking at it.
He must think it’s too provocative for his ‘little sister’ to be wearing.
I so badly wish I could be one of those girls without a care in the world, doing body shots off a hot cowboy and dancing on the bar.
But that’s not me, and it never will be.
Surely I don’t look very ladylike with melted cheese dripping down my chin, but I can’t find it in me to care.
The burger is pretty fucking good for a dive bar.
I didn’t realize how hungry I was. After I finish half of my burger, I finally make eye contact with Reid.
He glances between me and my burger and smirks. “Don’t let me interrupt you two.”
I toss a fry at him and he tries, and fails, to catch it in his mouth. Finally, the three of us join each other in a chorus of laughter. It’s the sweetest sound I’ve heard in a long time. Riley starts throwing fry after fry at Reid, and he doesn’t catch a single one.
We’re both laughing at him hard enough to double over. Sheepishly he pleads, “You try then.”
Without giving me a second to prepare, he starts firing the sticks of starch right at my head. Once I manage to stop laughing, I lock in and catch the next fry right between my teeth. I tear off the end and throw the rest of the fry at Reid’s chest.
He and Riley start clapping for me, and it draws all of the attention in the bar onto the three of us. The bartender from earlier comes over to us and slaps Reid on the back. “What are we celebrating here?”
Reid winks. “Oh, a big win.”
The burly bartender seems like he was waiting for a declaration like this one. “Well little lady, wanna test that luck on the bull?”
This man did not just suggest I ride a bull. I’m wearing a dress for fucksake. “Uhhh no,” I stutter out.
Reid nudges me with his leg under the table. “She is a rider after all.”
It comes out sounding sexual. I’m sure Reid didn’t mean for it to sound like that, but the bartender clearly thinks he did and tries to high five him.
Riley hops off her seat and offers, “I’ll do it.”
Of course she’ll do it. If I had to think of anyone who would volunteer for something like this, it would be Riley. She loves attention, even if it’s negative.
“Uh, Ri, are you sure that’s a good idea?”
She shrugs and lets the bartender lead her towards the mechanical bull.
He rings the absolutely massive bell that’s hanging above us, and everyone in the bar starts flocking towards the bull.
Embarrassment floods me just watching her getting ready to do this.
I can’t imagine flaunting my body in front of a bunch of ogling eyes like that.
Granted, if I looked like her, I’m sure I’d want to show it off too.
At least she’s not wearing a low cut top or a super short dress.
Hopefully, her bra is supportive. Knowing Riley, there’s a solid chance she doesn’t even have one on tonight.
I hope she doesn’t find a random hairy hunk to take back with her.
I’m looking forward to that plush hotel bed and some girl talk.
Riley makes it up on the bull with help from the bartender, and I see him try to cop a feel as he pushes her up.
Everyone starts cheering, and she throws her hands in the air as she squeals with excitement.
The operator starts the bull right then, and she scrambles to get a hold on the reigns.
This might be hard as hell to watch, but she does look like she’s having a blast up there. I focus on that.
They keep the bull at an easy pace, but she still somehow falls off in about fifteen seconds. I hide my eyes against Reid’s arm. He doesn’t move away, and it makes my heart flutter.
Before she even steps out of the ring, men are flocking towards her.
I wonder what it must be like to walk through life with the spotlight always on you.
I can’t imagine it. I’ve had a few flings, but I’ve never been the girl that all the eyes are on.
Mostly, I meld in with the guys, but I also don’t totally fit with them either—I don’t like beer or sleeping in sketchy parking lots.
Groups of girls terrify me though—it feels like I can’t get myself to fit anywhere. Forever a misplaced puzzle piece.
My head is still on Reid’s arm. He’s fidgeting a little, and I figure it’s because I’m touching him in a way that doesn’t exactly scream platonic. Then, I realize he’s looking at the bull longingly.
This idiot wants to go do that?