Chapter 3
Once again, Paisley found nerves bouncing around inside her as she walked up to the front door of her two story home with Kydrick following right behind her.
She found herself fretting over if she remembered to do everything inside to make it as clean and welcoming as possible. She never really had a houseguest that stayed with her before. Paisley was used to living alone. She’d dated through the years, of course, but none of those relationships were noteworthy. They never understood her fierce desire to help Kydrick out of his situation. It wasn’t uncommon for her to hear that she was obsessed with it, in fact, making it her entire life. She honestly didn’t even disagree with them, but she wouldn’t stop. At least, not until this very day. Maybe now that Kydrick was home, she would take the time to focus on her own nonexistent life.
After unlocking the door, she pushed it open and walked inside before standing to the side and allowing Kydrick to come in.
“Home sweet home,” she said nervously as she placed their drinks on the built in shelf next to the door.
She watched as Kydrick took her home in. Directly in front of them, there was a stairway leading to the second floor. If they walked just past the stairway, they would walk right into the kitchen and the dining room. To the left was the large living room and a bathroom connected to that. To their right was Paisley’s home office and library. Her home was big but also cozy. She took extra care to make sure she was as comfortable as possible in her sanctuary. When Kydrick’s eyes found hers, she saw a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.
“You’ve done well for yourself, P.”
Her shoulders relaxed, and she smiled while a blush tinted her bronzed skin.
“I’ve done alright.” She playfully shrugged and looked anywhere but at him.
“Come here.” His voice seemed to vibrate within her, causing her feet to move at his demand. When she stood in front of him, he pinched her chin and tilted her head up so she looked at him. “Why do you do that?”
“What?”
“Downplay yourself like you aren’t the shit.”
She chuckled, but his face remained stony, causing her to realize he was serious. Her smile disappeared from her face, and instead, she poked her lips out, running her tongue along the inside of her cheek as she wondered how to respond.
Finally, she shrugged and whispered, “I don’t know.”
“Been doing that since we were kids. I always hated that.”
She thought about it for a beat longer before sighing. “I guess I just don’t like making a fuss about myself. That’s never been my style.”
He peered down at her while nodding slowly. “You always been humble to a fault. We’ll work on it. Just know when I pay you a compliment, I don’t want you to downplay it. Take my words as I mean them. Can you do that for me?”
There wasn’t much Paisley couldn’t do for him, so her head nodding was easy for her as she silently made note of the promise she was making.
“Let me show you around.”
Paisley took his hand and led him through the house, showing him the spacious first floor of her home and dropping the food off in the kitchen before leading him upstairs. She showed him the bathroom that would be all his and then her room down the hall before stopping at a door and pushing it open slowly.
When they stepped inside the room, Paisley waited with bated breath for his reaction. The walls were ocean blue, Kydrick’s favorite color. The bed was king sized and warm and inviting with tan linens. The walk-in closet had brand new clothes and shoes just for him. Her heart beat with pride as she watched him look at the mounted TV and PS5 along with some games the man at the store suggested. She put a lot of thought into this room, and she hoped he liked it.
Slowly, he turned to look at her, and he shook his head with that ghost of a smile back on his full lips.
“This is too much.”
“No,” she said, stepping toward him and grabbing his large hand. “Just like you don’t want me to downplay myself, I don’t want you to downplay the things you deserve. This,” she waved a hand around the room, “is the least I can do, Kyd. I want you to be comfortable, and you know you can stay here for as long as you need. I’ve had this room ready for you for years.”
She suddenly felt shy admitting that to him. Anyone with eyes knew that Paisley and Kydrick loved each other, but sometimes it got a little sticky. The reality of their situation made it feel wrong for there to be anything romantic between them. So many factors and years moved between them, and it often felt like a crater the size of the moon stood between them.
“Years?”
She nodded. “Aside from the clothes and the PlayStation… yeah. I always knew you’d come home, and after your father passed, I knew you’d need somewhere to stay until you got on your feet. It just felt like the right thing to do.”
Wordlessly, Kydrick bent to wrap her in a bear hug before kissing her temple.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m forever grateful. Thank you.”
As he spoke, his voice cracked, and she could tell he needed a moment to gather himself within the embrace. She didn’t mind. He could take as long as he needed. Eventually, he pulled away, swiping his thumb across his nose and sniffing. Paisley took a step back.
“I’ll let you get settled. Feel free to wash up and change… get comfortable. We can eat when you’re finished.”
Kydrick nodded, looking a bit overwhelmed, and Paisley didn’t blame him. She felt overwhelmed too.
After pulling the door shut behind her, she let out a deep breath before making her way back downstairs and grabbing her phone from her purse. She quickly called Tiana, who answered within a second as if she’d had her phone in her hand waiting on the call.
Before Paisley could say anything, Tiana asked, “Why’d you hang up on me earlier? Is Kydrick home? Your location says you’re at home.”
Ignoring her first question, Paisley said, “Yeah, we’re home. He’s just getting settled, and then we’re going to eat.”
“How is he?”
Tiana was three years younger than Paisley, but she grew up with Kydrick always being around. Her entire family cared about his wellbeing, and it made Paisley feel a lot less alone through the years.
“He’s good, Sis. Can you let everyone know he’s alright? I think he just needs some time to get adjusted to being out. It’s honestly weird for me. I can’t imagine how he’s feeling.”
It took a moment for Tiana to respond. When she did, her voice dropped almost into a whisper.
“Are you finally going to tell that man how you feel? You don’t have the excuse that he’s locked up anymore.”
“Bye,” Paisley muttered before hanging up on her sister again.
Nerves filled her as she thought about what Tiana said. At some point Paisley and Kydrick needed to talk about whatever was brewing between them, but she didn’t think that moment needed to come tonight.
After quickly sending her mom a text about dinner the following night, she walked into the kitchen and put her phone on the charger she had in there before sorting the food out. When she finished, she sat at the center island and got lost in thought.
For some reason, her mind drifted to Janelle, causing a frown to etch on her face. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder what her old best friend was doing today. She wondered if the woman even cared that Kydrick had been released from prison. A part of her felt like it should have been the three of them celebrating this day together. It had always been the three of them, and although they were many years removed from Janelle and Kydrick’s break up and time moved on, there were many things that were forced to stay frozen in time.
They never had the chance to navigate the break up or their new friendship dynamic as a trio in real time or in person because Kydrick was locked up. There were a lot of things they hadn’t gotten the chance to experience—both good and bad. Now that he was out, it was like the clock on those things started ticking again, and she knew there would be some hurdles, which worried her. Now that she thought about it, a lot of things worried her at the moment. She felt a little lost with no goal in front of her, nothing to fight for, no problem to solve. So much time had been spent on Kydrick that she wasn’t sure what to do now that she could relax.
“What you in here thinking about?”
Startled, Paisley looked behind her and then offered Kydrick a small smile. She smelled the men’s Dove soap she bought for him emanating from his skin, and he looked refreshed in a pair of sweats and a T-shirt.
“Nothing,” she lied. “You okay? Do you need anything?”
He chuckled before putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her into him. He smelled so good to her, and she wanted to stay just like this forever.
“You gonna keep asking me that, ain’t you?”
“Probably,” she admitted.
He shook his head, but a small smile danced on his lips as he took a seat next to her and reached for the nearest box of food.
“You ain’t eat yet?”
“I was waiting for you.”
“You ain’t have to do that, P.”
“I know, but I wanted to. I haven’t had Sazón since…”
He stopped opening containers and peered at her.
“Since when?”
“I mean… since you left.”
He reared back like she had slapped him, suddenly causing her to feel like she had done something wrong. Truth be told, there were a lot of things she hadn’t done since he went to prison. Certain things felt sacred to their friendship, and she wouldn’t have felt right doing them with him behind bars. In some ways, she subconsciously forced herself to do his bid with him because she was such an empath. Her mind literally couldn’t allow her to enjoy the things they used to enjoy when there was no way he could enjoy them for the foreseeable future. She shrugged, her eyes bouncing around the kitchen.
“Look at me.”
“Kyd…”
“What else?”
“What else, what?” she asked, squirming in her seat.
“What else have you deprived yourself of?”
She smiled sheepishly at him. “I plead the fifth.”
He blew out a long breath before his chin hit his chest. “I never wanted you to do that bid with me, P. How many times did I tell… beg you to keep living?”
“It wasn’t that simple.”
And just like that, those pesky tears were back, and this time, they couldn’t be held back.
He grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. “It was, though. I lost so much while behind bars… so fucking much. I lost myself. I’m self aware enough to understand I’m not the same person coming out as I was going in. The last thing I wanted to do was lose you too.”
“You didn’t lose me,” she said. Her words rushed out of her to reassure him. “I’m right here, Kyd. You’ll never lose me.”
She grabbed one of his hands from her shoulder and squeezed it, hoping to convey the intensity of her words through her touch.
“I can’t tell.”
She felt like she’d been punched in the gut. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she looked at him. Her heart completely shattered. His words made her feel like she had failed him, and that was the absolute last thing she ever wanted to do.
With her voice wavering, she asked, “How can you say that? I’m here. I’ve been here. I?—”
This time, he squeezed her hand, and his brown eyes softened, showing her a glimpse of the old Kydrick. Her heart warmed slightly, but she still felt an ache there as she tried to understand what he was saying to her.
“I don’t know anything about your life aside from the fact that you’re a lawyer. All we’ve talked about for the past twelve years was me and my situation and the case. That’s it. After a while, I assumed you just didn’t want to talk about your life because you figured it might bother me, so I let it go. Either that, or I thought maybe you had a man…”
“Kydrick,” she said with a gasp. “I don’t have a man. I mean… I’ve dated, but I don’t have a man.”
And then she clamped her mouth shut because she felt a ramble coming along, and the last thing she wanted to do was make a fool of herself by explaining her love life, or lack thereof, over the years.
He chuckled, giving her a glimpse of his smile and dimples. She swooned, but did her best to focus on his words.
“My point is, I feel like you’ve lost yourself in me, Pooh, and I don’t like that shit, so I need you to promise me something, aight?”
“What?” she asked apprehensively.
“Let me help you find yourself again. Please? I’ve spent a long time thinking about how to pay you back for everything you’ve done for me, and I honestly don’t think it can be done, but this is the one thing I kept coming back to. We can make memories together and learn to live our lives to the fullest together. Just promise me you’ll rediscover yourself along with me. I don’t plan on wasting time now that I’m out. There’s so much I want to do, and I want you by my side when I do it.”
Paisley offered him a small smile, wiping her wet cheeks and nodding. His words touched her. It showed her that even while behind bars, he not only paid attention to her, but he spent time thinking about her. Lord knows she spent a lot of time thinking about him.
“I can do that,” she whispered.
“Good. Let’s start with getting reacquainted with our favorite restaurant.”
“Deal.”
They dug into their food, allowing the comfortable silence to sit between them as they took their first step toward a new life.