Chapter 7
It’d had been a draining day for Kydrick, both emotionally and physically, and the only thing he wanted to do was see Paisley and hang out with her to unwind.
When he pulled up to her job to pick her up, he was surprised to see her already standing outside the building. His plan had been that he was going to go inside and get her. He was excited at the thought of a smile spreading across her face when he popped up in her office, but it seemed Paisley had other plans.
When she saw him pull up, he noticed a frown on her pretty face and immediately figured she had a rough first day back at work. That worried him because he had some things to talk to her about tonight, but he would check her temperature first. If he needed to make sure she relaxed and had a smooth night instead of tackling some of the emotional baggage he came with, then he would. Before he could get out and open her door for her, she snatched it open herself and slid in without a word.
“Now you know I open the doors around here,” Kydrick said, trying to lighten the mood some by adding a teasing tone to his voice.
She grunted and then muttered, “Can we just go home, please?”
“Hey. What’s wrong, Pooh? I need to beat someone up?” He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him, and he noticed her red-rimmed eyes. His brows pulled together, but before he could ask what was wrong again, she pulled away from him and looked out the window.
“Please, Kydrick.” Her voice sounded so low that he almost missed what she said, but he didn’t, and he heard the pleading in her voice.
Instead of pushing her, he decided to get her home and get to the bottom of her mood once they were there.
After pulling away from her job, he drove in complete silence, trying to come up with a plan to turn Paisley’s mood around while thinking about everything that happened today. His mind felt heavy, but his priority was to make sure Paisley was okay.
When they finally pulled up to her house, she opened her door and got out before he could even shut the car off. That caused his brows to pull together, but he took a deep breath so he wouldn’t get upset. If he didn’t know any better, he felt like she was pissed off at him for reasons completely unknown to him.
With a sigh, he turned the car off and got out, trudging up to the front door, which she left unlocked and open for him.
After stepping inside, he removed his shoes and went to the living room to see if Paisley was in there. She wasn’t, so he moved around the lower level of the home before concluding that she must be in her room. That was a sign that she wanted some space, but she had the wrong one for that. Kydrick was ready to get to the bottom of her attitude so they could unwind because that was all he desired at the moment.
Kydrick took two steps at a time up to the second floor and his long legs made quick work of making it to her bedroom. After knocking a couple of times and not hearing a response, he opened the door and poked his head in.
His jaw clenched when he saw Paisley lying on her bed and scrolling on her phone. She had stripped down to her panties and a tank top, and his dick immediately stiffened. He wondered if he should give her some privacy or step further into the room. The last time he saw her with such little clothing on was when they were teens, swimming at the lake. Paisley and Janelle always wore matching bikinis, but his eyes had been for Janelle at the time. Now, he couldn’t understand why. Janelle was pretty, but Paisley… she was breathtaking.
“What, Kydrick?”
Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts as he stayed stuck in the doorway. His face frowned up at the tone of her voice, and he decided to go further into the room instead of leaving her alone, because at that point, she had him fucked up, and she had to know it too.
With quick strides, he walked over to the bed and pulled her up so she sat facing his chest. With his strong hand, he gripped her chin and forced her to look into his eyes.
“The fuck is yo’ problem?”
This tone was one he tried hard to keep in his past. In prison, he had to take on a hardened tone and demeanor to survive. He never wanted to show this side to Paisley or be this way around her, but his emotions were already heightened for the day, and her attitude didn’t help. Here he was hoping to come home to her and take solace in her safe space, but she wasn’t trying to give that to him, and he didn’t understand why.
“Move, Kydrick,” she uttered, trying to pull away from him.
“Nah. Tell me what yo’ problem is. What I do to you?”
She glared up at him, and he saw tears gathering in her eyes. That alarmed him because although he asked the question, he really didn’t think he had done anything to her.
“I saw you today… with Janelle.”
Kydrick’s brows raised as the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place. He planned on talking to Paisley about that tonight. This was not how he wanted to have the conversation. He sighed and then sat down on the bed beside her.
“She got in contact with me last night. I guess one of the parents or someone gave her my phone number. She asked if we could have lunch so she could clear the air. I said yes, and I planned on telling you all about it tonight.”
Paisley crossed her arms over her perky breasts and looked out the large window in her room. Finally, she blew out a long breath and looked at Kydrick.
“I wish you would have told me beforehand.”
“I understand that, but I didn’t really know what she was going to say, so instead of leaving you with that anxiety all day, I decided to get all the information and then tell you. It was never my intention to keep it from you, Pooh.”
He moved to put his hand on her cheek, but she pulled away. This time, when they made eye contact, she allowed a couple of tears to fall as she whispered, “You have to stop doing that, Kydrick.”
“Doing what?” he asked. A frown formed on his face once again.
“Giving me mixed signals. I can’t keep doing this. It feels like I’ve spent my entire life battling myself when it comes to you, and I’m tired.”
The last thing he wanted to do that night was to have this conversation, but he recognized that Paisley clearly needed to get this out. He gestured toward her.
“Go ahead. Get it out. I’m all ears.”
She stared at him with tears streaming down her face with an incredulous look in her eyes.
“Get it out? You think it’s that simple?”
She hopped off the bed and put her hands on her slim waist. Kydrick had to really focus on her eyes and not allow his to travel the length of her body. He didn’t even think she realized she stood before him damn near naked. Her body was flushed with irritation, and he knew her well enough to know she was about to explode.
“I’ve been holding this shit in for years, Kydrick. My feelings for you… since before you and Janelle decided you wanted to be together. And the worst part is I know you know. I know you know now . Maybe not then, but now you have to know, and you pretend like you don’t.”
By now, her tears couldn’t be stopped, and she stared at him with so much pain it broke his heart. This might have been cruel, but he needed to hear her say it so he could be sure they were on the same page. He’d learned long ago to always triple check that he was on the same page as someone before he acted. Needing to know all the moving pieces and understand where everyone stood was most definitely a trauma response, and he hoped she knew him well enough to understand his question instead of getting offended by it.
“What do I pretend I don’t know, Paisley?”
She stared at him, blinking slowly. He saw a mix of emotions filter across her face before she seemed to land on frustrated understanding.
“That I’m in love with you.”
Her words came out as if she was defeated, and as Kydrick looked at her, she looked it too. As soon as the last word fell from her soft lips, he tugged her by her hand into him and looked into her eyes.
“I can promise you, when we were kids, I had no idea. You always been my homie?—”
She tried pulling away from him. He saw the painful frustration and the hint of rejection in her eyes, but he held her in place, forcing her to hear his words.
“Cut it out. Listen to what I have to say. You got to speak, and now it’s my turn. Understand?”
After several long seconds, she nodded her head slowly but didn’t look him in his eyes. That was okay with him as long as she heard what he had to say.
“You have always been my homie, but with time, you also became the most stable and consistent person in my life.
“With time, I started to recognize the love you had for me, and it wasn’t in a friendly way. I’ll admit that because of the cards I was dealt, it took me a really long time to see it, and I felt like an idiot once I did. All this time, my end game was right there.”
He placed his hand on her wet cheek, and this time, she didn’t pull away, but she didn’t lean into him like she normally would. His other hand slid to her waist, and he held her in place like that while he spoke to her, though she still refused to look at him.
“I was never pretending to not know, Paisley. I won’t even pretend like I don’t love you back, and not just as a friend.”
Her eyes finally met his, and they were wide with surprise. He chuckled and used his thumb to wipe her tears.
“Yeah, I love you. I love you like a man is supposed to love a woman… like my father loved my mother… like your father loves your mother. I think on some level I always have, but life, man…” He cleared his throat. “Life made other things a priority, and I know that isn’t fair to you because I have always been your priority. I know, which is why I feel like you deserve better than me. You deserve more than I can give you?—”
“No.” Her voice came out strong and confident, and this time, she was the one to grab his cheeks and force him to look at her. “Don’t say that, Kyd. That’s not true. You have been dealt a shitty hand, but that does not mean you’re not worthy of love.”
He removed her hands from his face and kissed her knuckles on both hands.
“I appreciate your words, but it’s hard for me to believe them. I have a lot of shit I have to work through, and you’ve already given so much of your time and effort to me. I can’t sit by and allow you to continue to waste your life waiting on me.”
A fat tear fell down her cheek, and he quickly wiped it away.
“I definitely don’t want you to cry over me anymore.”
They were silent for a few minutes, sitting with the weight of everything that had just been said. Kydrick knew this conversation was needed, but he feared hurting Paisley. That was the last thing he wanted to do, but he also knew he needed to be honest with her. He felt like she deserved so much better because he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship yet, and he didn’t know how long that would take. Allowing her to wait for him wasn’t an option. Paisley needed to learn to live life for her, and he couldn’t be the one to continue to hold her back.
Unable to sit in silence any longer, he pressed his forehead into hers and whispered, “I just want you to be happy.”
With a sniffle, she nodded. “I wish things could be different.”
“Hey,” he murmured, waiting to continue until her eyes met his. “I’m not saying this can’t ever happen. I’m just saying I need time to become the man you deserve, if I’m even capable of that. Right now, I’m not.”
“I don’t agree with you,” she whispered.
The tone of her voice broke his heart. This was never supposed to make her feel so defeated, but he understood that after so much time, this probably felt like a rejection to her. The only thought on his mind was to uplift her and make her feel better. He needed her to feel better, because he couldn’t unless she did, so he did the only thing that felt natural at that moment. The one thing that had been on his mind since the night before. He leaned in and kissed her.
This kiss felt different from the night before. He felt more passion and more desperation to connect in this kiss. Paisley looped her arms around his neck while he pulled her as close as possible, his hands roaming down her back and finding her plump ass. He groaned, feeling his need for her spilling over. It had been entirely too long since he connected with someone like this, which was why he tried to avoid situations like this with Paisley. He knew he wouldn’t be able to control himself, but maybe he had been wrong. It wasn’t just situations like this where he couldn’t control himself around Paisley. It was being around her period. He had been fighting these lustful feelings since before he even got out, and it was only a matter of time before they got to this point.
His lips slipped down to her collarbone and then to her neck. He selfishly wanted to taste every inch of her and savor every single moment.
“Kyd.” His name slipped out of her mouth in a partial cry but also in complete need, which completely shattered him.
He pulled at the back of her knees so she straddled him before scooting back on the bed. Kydrick wasted no time pulling her tank top over her head and unsnapping her bra. Paisley’s breasts were full and sat just right. Her nipples poked out and begged him to latch onto them, so he did. They both groaned when he sucked one nipple into his mouth and used his thumb to caress the other one.
He felt Paisley grinding against him, his dick stiff and aching, but he did his best to slow it down and take his time. This moment was a long time coming, and he didn’t want to mess it up because they were too eager and excited.
When Paisley pulled away to remove her panties, Kydrick knew there was no going back now. He saw her pretty pussy glistening with her juices as soon as she discarded her panties on the floor, causing him to roll over so he was now on top of her.
“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful, Paisley.”
Her entire body blushed as she wiggled underneath him. He leaned down and kissed her again, and she locked her legs behind him. Baby was hot and ready, causing Kydrick’s willpower to slip. Paisley tugged at his shirt, and he pulled back to give them some space so he could undress. He did it slowly, unbuttoning his shirt one by one while holding her gaze.
“Kydrick, please,” she uttered as her chest heaved.
Seeing her lying there with nothing on had him ready to bust a nut right there, but he took in a deep breath before asking, “Do you have any condoms?”
She nodded and pointed toward the nightstand. His brows furrowed. He didn’t know whether to be happy she had condoms so he didn’t have to go out and grab any or pissed off at the thought of her needing condoms.
He got off the bed at the same time he pulled his shirt off, showcasing his muscled arms and chest before he opened her nightstand and looked around for the condoms. He found the black box toward the back and grabbed them, holding them in the air.
“The fuck you need these for?”
Paisley frowned. “Huh?”
“If you can huh, you can hear.”
He snatched a condom out of the box and dropped his pants before pulling down his briefs. His dick sprang out, causing Paisley’s eyes to widen. He chuckled as he opened the condom and rolled it on.
“Focus.”
Her eyes snapped back up to his as he climbed back onto the bed and nestled between her legs. Instead of inserting his throbbing dick into her, he used his index finger to explore her slippery folds.
“I… oh.” The words came out in a gasp before she moaned. “Kyd?—”
“Answer me, Pooh. Who you been fuckin’ on?”
It wasn’t his intention to show this side of himself just yet. A primal instinct had taken place within him when it came to Paisley long ago. Since there was nothing he could do about it, he learned to tame it. Now that he and Paisley had gotten this far, he wasn’t sure he could continue to pretend it wasn’t there.
There had been many nights he lay awake in prison imagining what Paisley was doing or who she was with. The only thing that helped him stifle the rage at those thoughts was working out. He knew he couldn’t keep sending Paisley mixed signals, but his mind wasn’t on the rational wave at the moment. He needed answers, and Paisley was the only one who could give them to him.
His thumb slid past her clit, and Paisley’s back arched. “No-nobody. Not for a long time, Kyd. Please…”
Her words coupled with her pleas satisfied him for now, but eventually, he wanted to know all about the men she entertained over the years. He wanted to know everything they did wrong so he could make sure he did it right in the future.
“Tell me what you want.” His words came out in a grunt as he slid another finger inside her, enjoying how wet and warm she was. If he didn’t slide into her soon, he worried his dick would explode.
“You. Always you.” Her eyes met his, and he had to grit his teeth to keep from moaning like a bitch. She had him under her spell with just her words, and she had no idea.
Instead of responding, he kissed the inside of her thigh, causing her to palm the back of his head. He kissed her other thigh and enjoyed the sounds of her gasps. At the same moment he placed a sloppy kiss onto her clit, he reached up and pinched her nipple.
“You taste so good,” he murmured against her pussy, swiping his tongue over it repeatedly, already knowing he would never be able to get enough of her, but he forced himself to stop.
He pulled away and looked up into her face. The pouty lips and confusion in her eyes made him clench his jaw again before he leaned down and kissed her, allowing her to taste herself. She moaned, causing his dick to jump, so he pulled away and said, “I want that first nut to be on my dick. Can you do that for me?”
He didn’t give her space to respond as he lifted one of her legs from behind her knee while slowly sliding into her. She gasped and clutched at the sheets while he cursed under his breath.
“Kydrick, please… deeper. I need you deeper.”
Fuck, he thought. For this one time, he desperately needed her to keep quiet. If he heard too much more of her begging him to do anything sexual to her, he would bust, so he leaned in, pushing her leg to her chest, and kissed her.
He took his time sliding all the way into her as their tongues danced together. They both gasped as soon as he was as deep as he could get, and he felt her nails digging into his back.
“Shit,” he muttered as he slowly rocked into her. Images of him giving her back shots or her riding him filled his mind, but he forced himself to think about basketball instead. Paisley’s pussy was warm, tight, and slippery. It felt better than what he imagined, and it was surreal for him to be in this moment. He’d imagined it for so long, and he was sure she had for much longer. Neither of them believed the time would really come, yet here they were.
“Baby,” she said breathlessly into his mouth. He tried to stop her from speaking by kissing her more intently, but Paisley could no longer be contained. “Oh… I’m cumming, baby. Shit. I’m cumming.”
Only then did Kydrick pull back so he could look into her face while she came on his dick. Tears formed in her eyes, and he watched in wonder as her beautiful face twisted up. Her pussy clenched around him, causing him to moan, and then, he let go.
They came together in a mess of tears and aimless words as they clung to one another, not yet ready to return to reality and face what this beautiful experience meant for their future.