Chapter 28
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
I’m put on a plane. I hear the whole band discussing me. We’re going back to LA. Not sure who thought that was a good idea. I sit, drunk, and spew shit from my mouth. Anything I want to say, I say it. The festival tour in the UK and Europe has been cancelled. South America after Christmas is still amber. Not red yet, then. They must think there’s hope. I laugh, and it’s a dry hollow sound.
Xan is trying to get me to drink coffee. I just keep topping it up with whiskey. Marshall’s.
A picture hits my brain: Her running for that motorbike with my son. Setting off at a ridiculous speed, laughing at me. Wild, free, beautiful. “Fucking bitch,” I growl with utter contempt, as I open my eyes.
Texas smiles at me. They’re all waiting, like a pack of hyenas around a carcass. Waiting for the scraps. Waiting for me to fuck them all. I look at her, a gorgeous woman, eye fucking me, and not even a twitch from that thing in my pants.
‘Drugs it is then,’ I think, and ask Gabe if he has any. Of course he does, he’s been spiralling for months. Well, I may as well join him. Misery loves a bit of company.
We land, we go out, we party, we go home, we go out, we party, we go home, we party, rinse and repeat for weeks. I’ve had more women try to suck my cock in the past three weeks than in my entire life. But I can’t do it. I see the hair in my hands and it’s not hers. It’s game over.
The phone ringing is my downfall. My heart stops every fucking time, but still the call doesn’t come. I know I told her not to, but really? I dare not ask Xander, working on the fact he would actually tell me.
I hear an English voice, a woman, my heart rate picks up in response, my blood starts to fizz.
Is she here? Nooooo.
Fuck, it’s Grace and Lauren. Gabe has flown them over at Becky’s insistence.
They come straight to me, touching me, making my fucking skin crawl. They’re offering sympathy. Why? What do they know?
I look up at Xan, he shrugs.
They’ve both dyed their hair the same colour as Evie’s. Stalkers or what? But hey ho, might help with the cock sucking I guess.
That will really fuck her up. It’s her fucking fault, anyway. She did this. It’s not my fault.
I told her what I wanted—or in this case, didn’t want—and she ignored me as ever. She’s a pain in the arse. Doing whatever the fuck she wants. Not caring. Not loving me. ME. It’s all her fault, she deserves it. It’s certainly not my fault Gabe brought them out here. No, it’s not my fault at all.