CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
WHITNEY
The morning after another restless sleep, Whitney headed to a visit with Bud’s wife, Sandra. She wanted to personally apologize to Sandra for any inconvenience because of her. Though Nick had told her it wasn’t necessary, Whitney wouldn’t feel right until she met with her.
Whitney parked in front of the house and headed for the front door. Jamie opened it and smiled at her. “Mom’s waiting for you inside.”
He held the door open, and Whitney stepped into the front entrance.
Sandra approached her, holding onto the hand of a little girl. “Jamie, will you take Eloise into the backyard to play? The others are still asleep.”
Jamie picked up the little girl and carried her away.
“He’s so helpful with his sisters,” said Sandra. “Come into the kitchen. I appreciate your phone call and am glad you stopped by.”
Sandra led Whitney into the kitchen and offered her a seat at the oblong wooden table.
“How about a cup of coffee?” Sandra said.
“That would be lovely,” said Whitney. She’d already had a cup that morning but knew this was more than an offer for coffee. It was an extended hand of friendship.
After Sandra served coffee and offered cream and sugar that Whitney didn’t accept, she took a seat at the table.
“I want to tell you how grateful I am for your concern, but I don’t want you to believe in any way that you’re responsible for Bud’s actions. I’ve been attending a few Al-Anon meetings, and Bud’s incident with Nick was his own foolish reaction to his frustrations. He’s agreed to go to a rehab center for a couple of weeks. Beyond that, who knows? I’ve told him I won’t stay with him if he continues to drink.”
“Oh, good,” said Whitney. “I’ve attended a few meetings of my own in California. I know how helpful they can be. But in this case, I think I aggravated a situation, and I’m sorry.”
Sandra reached over and squeezed her hand. “You’ve made our lives much better by encouraging me to stick by Jamie and his talent. I’ve said before how important your work with the kids and Linda’s dance school is to the community.”
After going through such self-incriminations, Whitney couldn’t help the tears that stung her eyes. “I’m so happy you feel that way. I was beginning to doubt myself.”
“Well, don’t. Things happen for a reason. I’m very sorry that Nick was injured. It was so wrong of Bud to do that.”
“Will you and the kids be alright with Bud gone?” Whitney asked.
“Better than ever. I’m used to being alone with Bud gone on road trips. This will be a little longer, a little calmer.” Sandra smiled. “It’s hectic around here, but that’s nothing new.”
A child’s cry came through the speaker in the kitchen. “There’s one of the girls now. Soon, the other will wake up. Then, the fun begins.”
Realizing Sandra meant it, Whitney looked at her with surprise.
“I love being a mom,” said Sandra.
“You’re so good at it,” Whitney said, realizing she wasn’t ready for motherhood. She wasn’t even sure she was ready for marriage.
Whitney said goodbye, intending to go to the dance studio to talk to Linda about future projects. Instead of going there, she turned around and headed to The Woodlands. She’d talked to GG but wanted to visit her in person.
It had been three days since the shooting, and she needed some advice. Anytime Nick had tried to talk to her about it, she’d put him off.
###
She knocked on GG’s door and entered the apartment. GG was sitting outside on the patio and rose as Whitney approached her.
“Whitney, darling, I’m so happy to see you. Come sit with me. This cooler weather is so agreeable, don’t you think?”
Whitney smiled. “Yes, but remember, I’m a summer girl. Not a winter one.”
“Ah, I do remember,” GG said, smiling. “Hopefully, with the cottage available to you, you’ll enjoy some fine winter weather too.”
“We’ll see,” said Whitney. She stared out at the green lawn leading to the woods behind the building.
“Why are you here? You know I love to see you anytime, but I know something’s bothering you,” said GG.
As Whitney turned back to GG, her eyes filled. Though she felt as if she’d been weepy for days, Whitney couldn’t help herself. The life she’d imagined was turning out to be very different from reality.
“Oh, darling, you’re still upset by the attack on Nick. I’m sorry. Did you know he called me?”
Whitney felt her eyes widen. “He did? When?”
“Last night. He wanted me to know you were safe, he kept you from danger like he once promised me.”
“But he put himself at risk to do it. GG, Bud could’ve killed him. He had a gun pointed at him. He missed, but only because he was drunk. It was awful seeing Nick get shot. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.” Whitney realized her voice had risen with anguish, but she couldn’t stop it.
GG gave her a steady look. “That’s why you’re here.”
Whitney nodded. “I was going to go to Atlanta for a couple of weeks, but furniture is about to be delivered, so I couldn’t leave. But I’ve told Nick I need space.”
“Seems to me you’ve got some hard decisions to make,” GG said quietly. “Nick has chosen his profession. He’s good at it and we all appreciate it.”
“Yes, but it’s dangerous. He never knows if that morning when he wakes up will be his last. What an awful way to live.”
“Life is uncertain for all of us,” GG reminded her. “We can’t predict when something horrible is going to happen.”
“I know, but this is different. I love Nick, I really do. But I don’t think I can live this way. Sending him off in the morning, never knowing if I’ll see him that night.”
“Do you remember the summer you were dating Nick? He let you go to follow your dreams. You can’t take his away from him,” GG said quietly.
“I know. That’s why I need time to think. I’ve told him I need space,” said Whitney wringing her hands.
“You must be totally honest with him,” GG said.
Whitney lowered her head and let out a long breath. “I know.”
###
Later, as Whitney left The Woodlands, she put in a call to Nick. “Can we meet? I need to talk to you.”
“Sure. Tell me where and I’ll be there,” he said. “We need to settle things between us.”
“I know,” said Whitney. “Meet me at the cottage. A counselor told me I should face that site again if I hope to live there.”
“Okay, I’ll meet you on the rock,” said Nick. “I’ll head there now.”
As he ended the call, Whitney swallowed hard, hoping she’d have the nerve to do what she knew she must.
###
When she arrived at the cottage, Nick’s car was already there. Whitney got out and stood a moment looking around. She couldn’t let a bad memory prevent her from enjoying the home she and her sisters had created for themselves.
She walked around to the front of the house and stared up at the balcony extending from the old attic room. Turning it into an indoor/outdoor gathering place was a genius idea of Aaron’s.
In another couple of days, the sliding glass doors would be installed, and the trim work done.
She walked across the lawn and down to the rock where Nick stood looking out at the lake. The wind brushed the top of the water sending shimmering light across the surface, giving it a magical feel.
He turned to her and lifted his good hand in a greeting.
Swallowing a sob, she met him.
“May I kiss you?” Nick asked gently.
She nodded, though it might be the last one he’d give her.
Tears welled in her eyes as his lips met hers.
When they pulled apart, he thumbed the tears off her cheeks. “What’s going on, Whitney?”
“I love you, Nick. You know that. But I can’t be with you, watch you take off in the morning and wonder if you’ll return to me that night.”
“Police work is my job. I love it, and I’m good at it,” said Nick.
“I know. I would never ask you to leave it. But if we’re together, you’ll know how afraid I am. And that one time when you shouldn’t, you might hold back in a dangerous situation because of me. I couldn’t bear it if something like that would ever happen.”
“So, you’re saying you don’t want to be with me?”
“I’m saying I love you enough to step away,” said Whitney.
Nick’s lips thinned. “Sounds like a bunch of bullshit to me.”
“I mean it, Nick. For now, I need my space and time to think it through. But I want to be totally honest with you. I’m not sure I can get past thinking you were dead.”
“But I’m not dead. I’m here, very much alive and in love with you,” said Nick. “It’s the kind of love that doesn’t often come along. Don’t ruin that, Whitney. Stay with me.”
“Just give me time, Nick. I love you and always will. But I need to think about supporting your career when I’m terrified.” She clasped her hands, prayer-like, and wondered if she was doing the stupidest thing ever.
Nick settled his gaze on her, reaching deep inside her. “It’s your decision. But if you decide you want to move forward with me, you’ll have to come to me. I won’t be seeking you out.” He tipped his cap at her and walked away, leaving her to stare at the mountains in the distance, feeling more alone than she’d ever felt in her life.