42. Aubree
FORTY-TWO
Me
Lunch today?
Brody
Only if I can have you ;)
Hayden
Can’t. Sorry.
“Where’s Hayden?” I ask Brody thirty minutes later when I walk into his office with a bag of food from the deli we love.
“I’m not sure,” he says, pulling me into his arms and kissing my lips. “You smell like cupcakes.” He runs his nose along my jawline and then playfully nips at my bottom lip before brushing his lips against mine.
“I was baking this morning,” I tell him. “Viviana had an appointment.”
“Mmm, any chance you brought me one?” He tugs me closer, and his leg parts my thighs, rubbing against my center.
“No, sorry.”
“That’s okay,” he murmurs, sucking my lip into his mouth. “I’ll just eat you instead.”
After the gala, we discussed the mechanics of our relationship. The guys mentioned that while in a perfect world, the three of us could always be together, there will be times when one of them has to go out of town, and they’re okay with me being with only one of them. They don’t consider it cheating in any way.
I get it… I do. And I can see where they’re coming from, but my head and heart aren’t exactly on the same page. I like being with them together. I fell in love with both of them, and I love being with both of them.
They insisted they were okay with doing it my way. But I also know they’re men who have needs and wants—I love that they both need and want me—and it isn’t fair to make one go without if the other isn’t available. So I promised them I would try.
But it’s easier said than done because as I kiss Brody, I can’t help feeling like Hayden should be here.
As if Brody can sense my hesitation, he pulls back and looks at me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I just wish Hayden were here with us.” I shrug. “I know I said I’d try, but…”
“Hey,” Brody says, framing my face. “It’s okay. We love that you care about us enough that you want to be with both of us. And we won’t push it, but we just need you to understand that if you’re with one of us without the other, that doesn’t mean you love the other one any less. We’re not going to get jealous or keep track. There’s no point system here. Promise.”
“I know. I just think I need a little bit of time. Maybe when one of you goes away, and I’m so horny I can’t handle it, I’ll break the ice and give in.”
Brody chuckles and gives me a chaste kiss. “Let’s eat lunch, sweetness. If I can’t eat you, then I guess I’ll have to settle for this sandwich.”
Me
Lunch today?
Brody
Can’t do lunch, but how about dinner after the kids’ sports?
Hayden
Sorry, can’t.
Me
Everything okay?
Hayden
Have a lot going on with work.
“I feel like I haven’t seen Hayden in forever,” I tell Brody later that night as I take a bite of my pizza. After the kids finished hockey and gymnastics, we met Brody at the arcade they love to play at so we could eat while they played. “Is everything okay with him?”
It’s been a week since the gala and his parents finding out about our relationship, and ever since, he’s been…different. I can’t quite pinpoint how, but he’s been quiet, distant, and I’m starting to worry.
“I’m sure he’s just busy with work. We have a huge project he’s the point of contact on. I’ll check in with him tonight when I get home.”
“I miss him,” I admit. “I miss both of you.”
Brody pulls me into his arms and kisses my cheek. “Are you trying to imply that you’re so horny you’re ready to give in? Because if that’s the case, I can take care of you. Just say the word.”
“Very funny,” I say with a giggle. “I’m not horny. Well, not desperately so… yet.” I give him a peck on his lips. “Make sure Hayden’s okay, please?”
“Of course.”
“What do you think?” Amalia asks. “The ceremony can be held here, and the restaurant is the perfect place for the reception afterward.”
“It’s beautiful,” Lacey says.
“It’s perfect.” I twirl around, taking in the indoor wedding venue. It’s part of Brookstone Vineyard and Winery, the vineyard that Hayden took me to on our first date months ago. Built out of gorgeous rock, it’s big enough to hold a small wedding yet also intimate. Since we’ll be getting married next month, it’ll be cold outside, so an indoor venue is a must. “But it’s an hour and a half drive from the city,” I add, remembering the long drive here.
“No matter where we book, it will be a bit of a drive,” Brody points out, sliding his arm around my waist. “The question is, can you see yourself being married here?”
“And we can make a weekend out of it,” Amalia adds. “I spoke to the owners, and they said we can book rooms for Friday and Saturday night. We can do a brunch Sunday morning before everyone heads home.”
“What do you think?” I ask Hayden, who’s been quiet today. I keep asking if everything is okay, but according to Brody and him, he’s just been busy with work—so busy, this is the first time I’ve seen him in two weeks. I’m missing the hell out of him, horny as hell—just as Brody predicted—and if he doesn’t tell me what’s going on soon—or fuck me—I’m going to explode—and not in the orgasm sort of way.
“I think…” He glances down at me, and my stomach clenches at the way his eyes are glistening with… is that sadness? Dammit, Hayden! What’s going on with you? “I think it’s perfect,” he finally says.
“Yeah?” I ask, feeling deep down that something is wrong. Something more than a man overwhelmed with work. “You’re okay with us getting married here?”
Hayden nods, plastering a fake smile on his face, and lead fills my stomach. I want to demand that he tells me what’s wrong, but since we’re in front of Lacey and Amalia, I keep it to myself. The kids are with Beatrice since I knew they’d be bored driving up here and back. I told them we’d go pick out their Halloween costumes when we got home since Halloween is this week.
“Okay, we’ll do it here,” I say, unable to muster the enthusiasm I should have about deciding on the place where the guys and I will be saying our vows.
Amalia claps excitedly. “Perfect! I’ll handle everything and keep you informed of anything you need to know. Next week, we have an appointment with the boutique for you to try on dresses and with the bakery to pick out your wedding cake.”
“Thank you,” I tell her, forcing a smile past my nerves. “I couldn’t do this without you.”
The ride home is filled with Amalia going over various details and asking questions about color schemes and foods and such. Brody’s driving his SUV, and he drops her off first, then Lacey next.
“We’re getting the kids at Beatrice’s?” Brody confirms once it’s just the three of us.
“Yeah, we—” I begin, but Hayden cuts me off.
“We need to talk,” he says. I’m sitting in the back seat next to him, so I look over at him, but he doesn’t make eye contact with me. “Can you ask her to watch the kids a little longer?”
“We’re supposed to take them to pick out their costumes,” I say dumbly, knowing whatever he needs to talk about won’t be good.
“All right,” he says.
“So…are we going to get them now?” Brody asks, confused.
“Yeah,” Hayden says.
The afternoon is awkward, and I almost wish I would’ve picked the kids up later, but thankfully, they’re too busy at the costume store to notice the tension. Evie picks out a cute cheerleader costume, and Miles goes with Creeper from Minecraft. Once we’ve purchased them, we head back to Brody and Hayden’s place since it’s the weekend. The kids pick out a movie to watch, and both pass out not even halfway through it.
Brody carries Evie to bed while Hayden carries Miles. After kissing them both good night, I find Brody standing in the hall with a frown marring his features.
“Something’s wrong with Hayden,” I whisper, emotion clogging my voice.
“Yeah.” He nods. “But he won’t tell me what. He said he needs to talk to us. He’s in the living room.”
“Okay.” I follow Brody down the stairs, where we find Hayden sitting on the couch with his face in his hands.
When he hears us, he lifts his head, and his eyes are glassy again, like he’s holding his emotions in and refusing to let them out.
“We need to talk,” he says, his tone devoid of all the emotion his face is showing.
I go to sit next to him, but as I sit, he stands, like he can’t bear being near me. Brody sits in his place, and Hayden walks around the coffee table, out of touching distance.
“I’ve made a decision,” he says, his eyes not really looking at us but instead past us. “I won’t be getting married to Bree.”
A piece of my heart cracks, like he’s stepping on it, and my organ can’t withstand the pressure.
“I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore.”
His foot is now pushing down harder, causing several pieces to fragment. It hurts, and it’s hard to breathe.
“And I’m moving out.”
And just like that, like a bomb has been placed inside my chest and has exploded, my heart shatters into a million tiny pieces.
“You don’t want me anymore?” I croak out, unable to stop myself from asking. I heard what he said, and I understand the words, but I don’t want to believe them.
“No,” he says simply, still refusing to look at me.
“Why? Is it because I said I only wanted you both together? I told you that I can try to be with you separately,” I stammer, tears filling my eyes.
“It’s not that,” Hayden says, swallowing thickly.
“Then why?” I ask, sniffling back my emotions. “What did I do wrong?”
His eyes roll toward the ceiling, and he releases a harsh breath. “It’s not you. I thought I could do this, but I can’t.” His gaze slowly shifts to Brody, who has yet to say a word. “And I won’t be working at Fields anymore. If you need me to give my two weeks, I can, but I’d prefer to cut ties immediately.”
My eyes flit between Brody and Hayden, unsure what to do or say. It’s one thing for Hayden to break up with me, but for him to move out and quit his job? This doesn’t make any sense. They’ve been best friends for years, more like brothers. And then it hits me…
“You’re walking away so Brody and I can be together,” I say, tears streaming down my cheeks. “But you know I won’t choose, so you’re making the decision for me by cutting yourself out of the equation.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” Brody asks, his voice hoarse.
“If that’s the case, then I’ll walk away,” I sob. “I’m not going to come between your friendship.” I stand, blinking fast so my vision will clear. “I told you I didn’t want to come between your friendship, and you said this is what you wanted!” I cry. “I was afraid of this happening, of one of you not wanting me anymore, and you said you wanted me forever.”
I cry harder, unable to help myself.
“It’s not just you. I don’t want to be with Brody either,” Hayden says, emotionless, like he didn’t just end an engagement, relationship, and friendship all in one go. “I’m not gay or bi, and I don’t want to share, and I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore. I’m done.” He takes a step back, and I swear it feels like he’s taking my battered heart with him. “I’ll be by Monday while you’re at work to move my stuff out.”
He turns on his heel and starts walking toward the door, and I gasp for air, trying to catch my breath. This can’t be happening. It doesn’t make any sense. Hayden said he loved me. So why is he leaving?
“Hayden,” I cry out, jumping off the couch and running after him. “Please don’t do this.” I pull on his hand, trying to stop him, but he won’t even look at me.
“Hayden, please!” I speed up and swivel around in front of the elevator so he can’t leave. “Tell me how to fix this, and I will.” I’m aware of how pathetic I sound, but I can’t stop myself. My parents walked away, and my husband and grandma left me. I gave Hayden my heart because he promised to be careful with it. This is exactly what I was terrified of—giving what was left of my heart away and being left with a hole in my chest.
Only now he’s not just leaving me, he’s leaving Brody and… “The kids,” I blurt out. “They love you so much. You can’t leave them. You can’t leave us. Please, tell me how to fix this.”
When he still won’t look at me, I step toward him and jerk his chin, forcing him to make eye contact. His eyes are bloodshot, like he’s trying with everything in him not to cry.
“There’s nothing you can say or do to make me change my mind. Now, please move.” His words are spoken like a robot, and I’m momentarily stunned speechless.
I glance back at Brody, who’s still sitting on the couch, frozen in his spot. “Brody!” I yell, and his eyes connect with mine. “Do something! Make him stay, please.”
His face falls, finally showing emotion, and he stands and walks toward us. I release a harsh breath, thinking he’ll talk some sense into Hayden, but instead, he wraps his arms around me and moves me to the side so Hayden can leave.
As he presses the button and then steps inside, I scream and cry, begging Brody to stop him, to fix this, but he keeps holding me while Hayden walks out of our life.
When the door is closed, I push away from him, stumbling backward. “Why didn’t you stop him?” I yell. “You should’ve made him stay!” He tries to approach me, but I shake my head, wrapping my arms around myself in a protective manner. “You guys promised,” I sob. “You promised to love me forever, and now he’s gone, and you just let him walk away.”
Brody’s staring at me with tear-filled eyes when I hear the soft voice of my son. “Mom,” Miles whispers. “What’s wrong?”
This seems to wake Brody up because his eyes snap toward Miles, who’s standing at the bottom of the stairs.
“It’s okay, buddy,” Brody says, his voice trying to be soothing but failing.
“No, it’s not,” Miles argues. “You and Hayden said you’d make my mom happy, but she’s crying. That’s not happy.”
Oh, God. Another sob wracks my body before I can get control of myself. “Miles, it’s okay,” I tell him, forcing myself to get control of my emotions. Before anything else, I’m a mom.
“Why are you crying?” Miles asks. “Is it because Hayden left?”
Dammit, he must’ve been standing there when Hayden and I were at the door. Who knows how much he heard.
“Sometimes people have bad days,” I say, trying to explain. “Hayden is having a bad day, so he left, and that made me sad, but I’m okay.”
“Is he coming back?” Miles asks.
“Of course, he is,” I say.
“Bree,” Brody says softly, obviously disagreeing with my answer.
“He is,” I tell Brody, glaring at him. “He’ll be back.”
I refuse to believe this is the end. I don’t know what’s going on with Hayden, but I’m going to find out and then fix it. Because despite the way he was acting tonight, I know damn well he loves me and Brody and my kids. Feelings don’t just flip on and off like a damn light switch. Something happened, and I’m going to figure out what.