Chapter 48
Chapter Forty-Eight
CALEB
Noah was the epitome of calm as we made our way to the hospital, to the point I might have believed it if it wasn’t for the slight tell when he gets nervous.
Only once he’s signed all the paperwork and he’s settled in his private room, do I see the cracks starting to show.
I reach out and grip his hand in mine.
His palm is sweating.
Jessica is making herself busy with his overnight bag and putting some stuff on the bedside table.
It’s clear she needs to do something, so neither of us says anything as we watch on as she keeps moving the stuff around until she’s happy.
Too soon, a nurse comes and asks Noah to change into a gown and a pair of surgical socks.
And then he’s called into surgery.
Both Jessica and I give him a kiss, ignoring the nurse as she hovers by the door waiting to walk him to surgery.
Waiting is the worst part. I alternate between pacing and pulling Jessica into my arms as we sit and wait to be told Noah is in recovery.
“How much longer do you think it will take?” Jessica asks, her voice small and full of worry.
I turn my wrist and check my watch. “Anytime now, I should think.”
I don’t say how worried I am, that the longer it takes, the more concerned I become. The deep-rooted fear that maybe they found out it has spread. And I fucking hate myself for letting the intrusive thoughts in.
We were told it can take a few hours, but does that include recovery and being prepped for surgery?
Fuck, I should have asked.
“Hopefully not too much longer, little one.” I kiss the top of her head and pull her into my arms and hold her with an almost desperate need.
It feels like an eternity before a doctor comes to find us in the waiting area and informs us Noah’s surgery went well and that he’s just in recovery now before they’ll move him to his room.
Jessica physically sags in my hold and a soft sob of relief passes her lips as I rub my hand over her back in support.
We make our way back to his room, ready for his return.
We have no idea how he’ll be when he comes to, but there is no way he’ll be alone.
This is why we have a private room with a cot, because we’ll be staying here with him tonight.
It’s why Maggie agreed to have Aspen, one less thing to worry about.
Jessica chews on her thumbnail to the point it’s almost bleeding, and I gently tug her thumb away from her mouth and bring it to my lips, kissing the pad of her thumb.
“You’ll make it bleed, sweet girl.”
She sighs. “I know, I just can’t help it,” she replies.
It’s been a long time since she’s been this anxious and I fucking hate it.
I hate that I can’t fix it, make it all go away.
I’d take away her worries and Noah’s pain, if I could.
Seeing the ones you love hurting and suffering physically and emotionally is the worst kind of mental torture.
I pull her into my lap, not giving a shit we’re in a hospital room, and kiss her temple. Wrapping her in my arms, I softly rock her back and forth.
Her heart rate begins to slow and her breathing evens out. Any other time I’d believe she’s asleep, but I know she’s not. She won’t rest until Noah is here, and maybe not even then. The last few days leading up to the surgery have been restless for everyone, most of all Noah.
There’s some noise outside the door before it’s opened and then Noah’s bed is wheeled in. His head turns towards Jessica and me in the chair, his eyelids droopy.
Jessica climbs off my lap upon seeing him and hovers until he’s settled and then leans over and reaches for his hand.
I join her and run my fingers over his brow.
“Hey you,” she says, her voice catching.
“You’re a sight for sore eyes,” he replies, his voice hoarse.
I look for the jug of water and pour some in a cup and add a straw. Jessica was insistent he had a hospital bag with anything and everything he might need, even though he’s likely being discharged tomorrow.
Raising the glass towards his mouth, I angle the straw, and he takes a few pulls before his head falls back onto the pillow softly.
His lips raise in a slight smile, his eyes drifting closed as Jessica clings to his hand.
I pull the chair over and sit down, ushering her into my lap, so she can still hold his hand.
“I love you both,” Noah says, his voice groggy with sleep.
“We love you too, Noah, so much.”
He hums and I think he’s succumbed to sleep, but then his lips form the most beautiful smile.
“I had the best dream,” he says softly. “You were both there.”
I smirk as I lean my chin on Jessica’s shoulder.
“Were we now?” I ask.
He nods slightly. “Yeah, and our daughter.”
The air catches in my lungs as Jessica turns her face towards mine and then back to Noah.
“Yeah.” He hums. “She had Jessica’s eyes, beautiful just like her mumma.”
I’m about to ask him more when the sound of his soft snores hit my ears.
I glance to Jessica and raise an eyebrow. “Anything you want to share?”
She shakes her head. “No, sadly not. I think that will be the anaesthesia talking.”
I nuzzle into her neck. “I think you may be right. But also, I can’t think of anything more precious than us having a daughter who’s just like her mumma.”
Her eyes glisten, and she reaches up and cups my jaw. “All I know is they’ll be the luckiest, having you and Noah as their dads.”
I want to preen at the compliment. “I’ll do everything in my power to make sure they want for nothing.”
“I know you will, but as long as they’re safe, cared for, and loved. Food in their bellies, and a roof over their heads, that’s all I can ask for.”
I kiss her behind her ear with a contented hum. “Does that mean you’re wanting more than one?”
“I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed to it. What about you? Noah?” she asks, staring at his sleeping form, her hand securely in his.
“I’d have an entire house full if I had my way.”
And it’s true, the idea of growing our family, I’d be agreeable to that.
“Okay, slow down tiger,” she says playfully.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. What will be will be.”
Things are already stressful, and I don’t want to add to that with talk of making a baby. I know she came off her contraception, she’d said she wanted to try before Noah had his surgery.
Just the knowledge of knowing that during our wedding night was everything.
Everything.
I settle back in my chair and watch Noah sleep. Jessica’s head begins to loll to the side, and I know she’s beat.
“Hey, do you want me to make up the cot so you can rest?”
She goes to shake her head, but my fingers on her jaw stop her as I hold her gaze with mine. “You need to sleep, sweet girl. If he wakes and asks for you, I’ll wake you.”
Her expression is conflicted, but she concedes with a nod of her head. I ease her off my lap and let her take the seat as I make up the bed, her eyes stay trained on Noah the entire time.
“Come on.” I walk over and reach for her hand. She stands up and kisses Noah’s cheek before allowing me to lead her over to the bed.
She might not sleep, but I’d feel better if she at least tried.
In the meantime, I’ll watch over the man we both love and adore.
Now and always.