Chapter Thirty-Six
Ria
Jack didn”t allow me to finish my shift. I’m in a daze, trying to process what’s just happened. How did my life become this? Where did I go wrong? Part of me wishes I never met Alex, but then I wouldn”t have my girls and if having them meant I had to do the past ten years over again, I would, because a life without them would be no life at all.
But how I wish things were different. That Alex could have been the man he claimed to be when I first met him. Or if I was being truthful, I wish it had been Jack from the very start and that the girls were his. That thought keeps me awake at night, but I am slowly accepting that life doesn”t always end up how we thought it would, and sometimes that’s for the best.
Jack might not biologically be the girls’ dad, but for the past nine months, he has been there for them like a dad should be. I have this constant battle of feeling so angry and disappointed that Alex can’t be the dad the girls deserve and thankful Jack has shown up for them, for me.
The drive back to his apartment is silent. I lay back against the leather seats of his Audi and look up at New York’s night sky out of the passenger window. It”s a mixture of twinkling lights and dark sky, and it comforts me. It’s the city that brought Jack back into my life to the start of the most unexpected chapter.
Out of the car and safely inside, I walk through Jack”s apartment, kick off my heels, and head to the kitchen for some water. I feel at home here now. I lean against the marble counter and soak in the view from his apartment. Next to his insane bathtub, the view is my favorite part of his apartment. His arms snake around me and pull me in towards him. His lips find the top of my head and I let out a breath and feel my body instantly relax.
“If you want to talk, talk, but if you don”t, I’m here okay, I’m here.”
How does this man just get me? He just knows me inside out.
“I have something to show you.” I turn my head to look at him and see a glint of excitement in my eyes.
“We spend all our time with the girls at yours, which I love, but I want my home to feel like your home and the girls” home.”
“W… what?” I’m lost for words.
He takes my hands and guides me to the kitchen cupboards; he opens them and to my complete shock, it’s stocked with all the girls” favorite snacks and sippy cups.
“They have their goldfish, and of course MM’s for Lexi and here…” The excitement in his voice is bringing a lump to my throat. He takes me towards his guest bedroom. Opening the door, I’m met with a sea of pink. I cover my mouth with my hand, a tingling sensation flitting through my chest as realization hits me.
He’s making space for us in his life.
The drapes have been changed to pink butterfly ones, with a matching comforter on the bed. There are two Minnie Mouse cuddly toys on the bed and beside the bed is a pack and play with pink sheets.
“Jack… I don’t know what to say. This is… beautiful.” I step further into the room, taking in all the details. So much thought and care has gone into this and every little piece shows how well he knows the girls.
“You got a pack and play?” I point with a hint of humor to my voice.
“Yeah, but I got my housekeeper to build it. Not a chance I was attempting to unpack one of those again.”
I let out a laugh that’s mixed with the onset of tears.
He did this for them… for me.
“We can change it if they don”t like it and we can get Elle a proper crib, but I want them to know they have a home here… that I want them here. I want you all here.”
“God, why are you so perfect?” I laugh through sobs, wiping the tears that won’t stop flowing.
“Well, I try,” he replies, bringing my face towards his.
“This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for us,” I tell him, choking back another sob.
“I…” He clears his throat. “I know you have a lot of shit to sort, but, sweetheart, I’m crazy about you. I just need you to know that, okay?”
I swallow, finding the courage to say what I want to say, but I settle on repeating his own words. “I’m crazy for you too. Thank you. I can”t explain how much this means to me… but I’d like to show you.” My tone is low, full of need for this incredible man.
I press my lips to his and our kiss is slow and passionate and full of all the unspoken words we are yet to say. I spend the night getting lost in Jack with New York”s night sky behind us, casting shadows over our naked skin as we make what feels like the closest thing to love I”ve ever experienced.
Tonight, we let our bodies say what we are too scared to say and prove that if two people are meant to be together, they will eventually find their way into each other”s arms, no matter what, because the way we are when we are together, it”s impossible to believe that we weren”t meant to be.