Chapter Thirty-Seven
Jack
We collected the girls earlier this morning. Seeing their little faces light up at their room was everything. They wasted no time making themselves at home. Every hard surface in the apartment is covered in something pink and plastic. The sofa cushions are on the floor and Lexi’s new obsession Frozen is on its second go on the TV and I have honestly never felt more content.
I smile from the couch, watching Ria hold Elle on her hip, a whisk in her free hand, using it as a microphone as she dances around the island as Lexi stands on top of it like a stage.
Watching Ria move and laugh with her girls is the most beautiful sight. She’s dressed in gray sweat shorts and a white tee, her hair piled on top of her head and when she’s like this, to me, she is the sexiest woman alive. Sure, she”s stunning dressed up, but watching her smile, and glow, and just be herself is a different level of beauty.
This woman has been to hell and back and yet doesn”t let the storms she”s weathered damage her girls. I don”t think she realizes how incredible she is. A flutter hits my chest and I know this is what I want all my Sundays to look like.
We order takeout for dinner and sit round the dinner table. When friends come over, we usually eat at my kitchen island, but this feels good. To see the girls all here, looking out over New York as the sun goes down, a warm feeling fills my chest; we feel like a proper family.
Ria places her chopsticks down on top of the takeout carton, dabbing her mouth with a paper napkin. “Okay, Miss Lexi, Miss Elle, it”s time for bed.”
“Noooo, Mommy, please can we stay up? I want to watch Frozen just one more time, pleaaassseeeee,” Lexi begs, fluttering her eyelashes, trying to master the art of getting her own way at just four years old.
“No, Lex, it”s late already. Let”s get you cleaned up and changed for bed.”
“No,” she protests, crossing her arms and pouting her lips. I have to bite down on my lip and look out the window. She’s a little madam but she’s so funny too and it’s hard not to laugh when she’s challenging Ria.
“Lexi Marie Kennedy,” Ria says sternly “It’s time for bed.”
“No. “Lexi shakes her head. “I want Jack to put me to bed.”
Ria looks at me, obviously unsure how to answer. I sense she doesn”t want to put me in a situation I might not be ready for. But I can do this.
“Of course I can put you to bed, Princess, and Elle too.”
“W-what, are you sure?” Ria asks.
I get up and lift Elle out of her highchair.
“Of course. I don”t know if you know this, but I am a bit of a pro now at changing diapers and managing kids. I’ve got this.”
Ria looks at me like I’m so full of shit. It”s as if she doesn”t know if she should laugh or swoop in and save me.
“Go, take a shower, a bath, whatever you want. I can handle the girls,” I say, waving her off.
“Okay, if you’re sure. Good luck,” she chuckles.
“Right,” I say, looking at Elle and then down at Lexi. “Let’s go girls.”
After two diaper changes because I fucked it the first time by ripping the tab off, three story books, a pillow change because it was too fluffy, a bottle of milk and a sippy cup of water, Lexi and Elle are all tucked up. Elle fell asleep as soon as I laid her down, looking adorable, sucking on her little thumb.
“Night, Lexi. Sleep well, Princess,” I whisper and kiss the top of her head.
She closes her eyes and I turn to leave. As I reach for the door, I hear a little whisper. “Jack, can I tell you a secret?”
I turn back, kneeling by her bedside. “Of course you can, Princess. You can tell me anything.”
“I really like your house, and I really like my room.”
I can’t help but smile. “I’m glad. You can stay here whenever you like.”
“Can I tell you another secret?”
“Of course,” I say, smiling down at her, looking at her beautiful eyes that are just like Ria’s.
“I don”t think my daddy likes me. He doesn”t do fun stuff with me or buy me MM’s like you do.”
And my heart shatters for this little girl. I don”t know what to say. How do I respond to a little girl who believes that her dad doesn”t like her?
“Lexi, your daddy likes you a lot. I think he”s just a bit busy with work right now, but he will do some fun stuff with you soon, I’m sure.”
“Yeah, maybe.” She sighs.
Just when I get up, she whispers, “Can I tell you one last secret?”
I smile. “Of course, Princess.”
“I wish you were my daddy.”
My heart stops.
I clear my throat and lean in a little closer. “Can I tell you a secret?” I whisper back.
She nods excitedly, her big blue eyes widening.
“I wish I was your daddy too.”