Chapter 34
Thirty-Four
STONE
Denver and Salt Lake City go by in a blur. I can’t believe the tour is nearly half over. Touring has never gone by this quickly before. One of my biggest concerns going into this sober was how it would feel, if it would seemingly drag. I never expected the opposite to happen.
Part of it is definitely having Hazel here.
It’s made everything easier, even on days where we’re on the bus for hours and hours, we rarely fight like we have before.
I’ve loved watching her grow closer to my bandmates and Jade.
Darren has even taken a liking to her quick wit and finding out they both have a love for European soccer, particularly the Italian league.
Match day when their favorite teams were playing each other was hilarious to watch.
I was only slightly jealous.
The sound of Hazel’s phone ringing in the other room pulls me from my wandering thoughts. I turn from the window overlooking Vancouver when I hear her voice raised in concern. Her voice wobbles as I walk into the bedroom.
“Okay, I’ll be on the next flight.” She sniffs. “Keep me updated on everything.”
A sob tears from her chest when she hangs up and drops the phone on the bed. I cross the room and wrap myself around her as she shakes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask as I spin her in my arms.
She clings to me. “Grams had a stroke. Mom is on her way to the hospital now.”
“Fuck.” I hold her to my chest and pull my phone out, texting Darren and Jade that I need help. “Don’t worry about anything.”
In less than a minute, I hear the door to our suite opening and Darren call out to me. His hair is mused and his shirt buttoned. Tobias follows right behind him, face flushed.
Jade is seconds behind them.
“Beverly just had a stroke,” I tell them with my arms still locked around Hazel. “I need a plane to New York like right now.”
Darren pulls his phone out and crosses to the other side of the room. “On it.”
Tobias strides over and wraps his arms around Hazel from the other side, so she’s cocooned between us.
“Can you reach out to Sierra about canceling Hazel’s appearance tonight?” I ask Jade.
“Of course.” She walks into the bedroom to call Sierra.
Hazel continues to sob while Tobias and I hold her. He meets my eyes, hopefully seeing my gratitude. A few minutes go by before Jade comes out of the bedroom with Hazel’s purse and suitcase.
“I think I got everything, but if you left anything behind I’m sure Stone will take care of it.” She gives Hazel a sad look.
Tobias backs off, but I don’t move. I run my hands up and down her back in long, comforting strokes. Her tears soak into my shirt as she continues to sob quietly, her fingers clutching me.
“I’ve got you, baby.” I press a kiss to her head. “How hard would it be to reschedule tonight’s show?” I ask Darren as he walks across the room.
“No,” Hazel pulls away. “Don’t do that. I’ll be fine.”
“I have a private jet booked and fueling as we speak. The car should be here in ten minutes.”
My heart feels like it’s in vise grip. Only ten minutes. And I can’t go with her.
“I can’t afford a private jet.”
“I’ve taken care of it,” Darren says quietly. “Don’t worry about money. Just focus on staying calm and being there for her and your mom.”
She nods, wiping tears from her cheeks. “Thank you.”
My heart beat quickens with each second that passes.
Anxiety that I haven’t felt in months darkens the edges of my field of vision.
Now isn’t the time for me to fall apart, especially when it’s just because I can’t be with her while she struggles.
The words I long to say to her, have wanted to say for days now, stay stuffed down deep inside.
I’m not going to tarnish those words with the memory of this pain.
We’ll be okay. I know we will be.
Dan and Adam walk into the room, both their faces twisted with concern. I leave Hazel with Jade and Tobias to go pull Dan aside.
“Can you get your stuff together and go with her?” I ask with my back turned to her. “I don’t want her alone on a plane ride worrying.”
“Yeah. Am I still covering her security while we’re in New York?”
“Yes.” As far as I’m concerned, he’s now her bodyguard full time.
He nods. “I’ll grab my bag and come back for her.”
“Thank you.” I pat his back as he turns, Adam falling in step beside him.
Xander has come in and is sitting on Hazel’s other side with his arm around her back. I know there’s time where she still feels like an outsider around us, but seeing how the band, Jade, and Darren have rallied around her so fast and without pause should make her understand that she’s one of us.
I mean, fuck, Darren just chartered a private jet with his own money for her. He’s a dickhead ninety-eight percent of the time, but he’s our dickhead. And that other two percent is generous and protective as fuck.
“The car’s here,” Darren says quietly. “I had them pull around back, so she can exit via the private entrance.”
“Thank you. Dan’s going to go with her, I’ll walk them down when he comes back.”
I don’t wait for his response before crossing the room and going to her. I pluck her up from the couch and then sit back down with her in my lap. Jade and Xander stand up to give us some privacy.
“How are you?”
“Numb.” Her voice is monotone as she stares into space.
“That’s to be expected. I wish I could go with you.”
She turns to me, a tear gathering on her lashes. “I know, but you have work to do. Music to perform. Memories to make.”
“None of that is as important as you are, though.”
She gives me an attempt at a smile, her full lips lifting partially before she presses them to mine.
“Can you make me a promise?” I ask when she backs away.
“Maybe.”
“If you ever feel like you might want to hurt yourself, you’ll call me. I don’t care if I’m mid-song on stage, I’ll stop for you, okay? I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re alone because you’re not.”
Her eyes dance back and forth between mine as if she’s trying to find a way to not make that promise. Whatever she sees in my eyes must make her realize how serious I am because she finally gives me a slight nod.
“I’ll do my best.”
“Thank you.” I look over her shoulder as Dan walks back in, duffle bag in hand. “I’m sending Dan with you.”
“Okay.” She surprises me by not arguing.
Darren motions for us to follow him while he rolls her suitcase out of the suite. Hazel and I fall into step behind Dan. The four of us ride the elevator down to the private entry of the hotel in silence.
The silence continues on the drive to the plane.
I keep her hand clasped in mine as the car pulls onto the tarmac and up to the jet.
The crew is already waiting for us, Darren gets out, buttons his suit jacket, and walks over to the captain.
The first officer takes the suitcases and stows them away.
Tears burst from Hazel’s eyes as we stop at the bottom of the stairs up to the plane. My arms wrap her up tightly between them, pulling her so close and firmly to my body I feel every inch of her. I bury my head in her hair as she sobs against me.
“Hazel.” I cup her cheek, lifting her face until I can see those beautiful eyes of hers. “I’ll be waiting for your call. Please keep me updated.”
“I will,” she says quietly. “Tell Darren I said thanks for this.” She waves in the direction of the plane.
“I will.”
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
The words rattle around inside my heart as I watch her climb up, Dan on her heels.
He looks over his shoulder and gives me a nod that says he’s got her while I can’t.
I step back, walking in the opposite direction of her, the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I want to spill the words in my heart out into the air.
To make them real. But if anyone is going to hear them first, it’s going to be her.
I’ve spent years of my life alone in hotel suites, it never bothered me until now. The yawning emptiness, an ache in my chest the shape of Hazel, and it’s only been twelve hours. She called when they landed in New York and again after seeing her grandma.
Unfortunately the prognosis isn’t good.
Beverly is in a coma that they don’t know if she’ll ever wake up from.
I didn’t want to ask about her end of life directives and risk upsetting Hazel.
I’m just glad she’s there with her mom. I’m also glad I sent Dan because she keeps insisting she’s okay, but I don’t know if she’s just trying to keep me from worrying.
He’s been instructed to keep me informed of what he’s seeing.
I know they’ve formed a close friendship, but ultimately I sign his paychecks.
I’m not above holding that over him to ensure she’s okay. I’d do much worse.
A knock at the door interrupts my thoughts. It’s time for us to leave for our interview. I give the mini bar a longing glance. What I wouldn’t give for a shot of anything to take the edge off.
Maybe I’ll make Adam go for a run with me tonight. A long ass one that will tire me out until the anxiety and cravings fade to utter exhaustion.
“You ready?” Darren looks me up and down from where he waits in the hall.
“Yeah.”
He grips my shoulder until I look him in the eyes. “You good?”
“No. I’m worried about Hazel. My anxiety is bleeding into cravings.”
“Should I sleep in here tonight?”
I hate that he even has to ask that. I hate that I’m going to say yes even more. My eyes meet his as I nod. “Probably wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
“I’m proud of you for saying yes. Wanna be big spoon or little spoon?” He smirks.
“Fuck off.” I shove him away, already feeling the slightest bit lighter.
The interview is taking place in the hotel’s rooftop garden, along with a limited photo shoot.
The first half hour will be a group interview and then the reporter will sit down for twenty minutes one on one with all of us.
The photo shoot is fine, it’s just knowing she’s going to prod for details on my sobriety that makes my hackles rise.
As the frontman of the band, I know my personal life is up for discussion. I just hate the invasion. Darren promised this would be the only interview where those types of questions are asked of me, though, so I just have to suck it up.
By the time I arrive upstairs, everyone is already there. The reporter aims a polite and professional smile my way. It doesn’t reach her eyes, likely due to my reputation for being a pain in the ass to interview.
“Sorry I’m late.” I take a seat and cross my legs, my ankle resting on the opposite knee.
“That’s alright.” She gathers some papers and pulls a recorder out of her bag. “Everything after I turn this on will be on the record.”
We all nod in understanding.
She launches into questions for us as a group. We answer everything as honestly as we can. My guard begins to drop as the questions are easier than I anticipated. A fucking rookie mistake.
“How is it having a woman on the tour with you?” she asks. “Does it change the dynamics?”
“Not at all,” Xander says. “She isn’t the only woman who tours with us, either. Jade, our PR agent and social media manager comes along, too.”
“And they both sleep on the tour bus with you?”
“Yeah.” Tobias nods. “Both of them have their own bunks and everything. It’s not that much different from having sisters.”
“Sisters?” Her gaze sharpens on me. “All the photos you’ve been caught in with Miss Archer lead most of us to assume you’re in a romantic relationship with her.”
“Is there a question there?” I ask.
“I’m disappointed she’s not here. I’d love to hear her take on life with a rock band.”
“I’m sure she’d rather be here, too.”
The conversation veers course away from Hazel, and I’ve never been so relieved to answer questions about my addiction recovery. Unfortunately, the reprieve is short lived as Xander and Tobias go off to wardrobe and makeup and I’m left alone in the hot seat.
“What’s your relationship with Hazel Archer? You’ve alluded to being together while on stage, are you exclusive?”
“As far as I’m concerned, I’m not on the market.”
“For her or anyone?”
I reach down and take a swig of water. Smiling as I set it down.
“Are you concerned about becoming romantically entangled with someone so soon after becoming sober?”
“She has only brightened my world. If anything she makes staying sober easier.”
“How so?”
“We spend a lot of time together, talking, writing, creating. I don’t even think about drugs or alcohol in her presence.”
“You write together?”
“Yes, often.”
“Have you read her work?”
“I read her book in one sitting the day of our appearances on Good Morning with Mark and Amy. She’s beyond talented. I consistently find myself in awe of her while she’s fully focused on writing, her fingers flying over the keys while they try to keep up with her magnificent mind.”
The reporter’s lips lift into a smile. “You seem to respect and care for her deeply.”
“I do.”
“She’s a lucky woman to have Stone Tyler raving about her like this.”
“Those of us who have the pleasure to know her are the lucky ones, I assure you.”
She attempts to squeeze information about the album we’re working on for a few minutes, but when I don’t bite, she gives me a smile and ends our interview. It’s my turn for makeup and wardrobe now. I check my phone to see if there’s any updates, frowning when I don’t see any notifications.