Taina
CON LA SONRISA LINDA
I haven’t seen much of my parents since the sneaking out incident. It’s been eerily quiet around here, and as I prepare for the day, I wonder if they skipped town and left me in this house to figure shit out for myself.
But I know that notion is too good to be true.
They’re likely just on a vacation away from me, trying to salvage the scraps of their flimsy marriage.
No couple in love should fight as often as they do.
Even before the assault, I’d find reasons to leave so I didn’t have to play referee. They used to forget that they were the parents and I was the child.
Now it’s a daily reminder to them.
I grab a water bottle from the fridge, preparing to head out to reinforce my backup plan. Because you can never have too much dirt on people. I’ve been cooped up too long, and I need to find a smidgen of sanity before I lose my mind.
Again.
Walking through this empty house, I wonder how the hell they think this is a worthy existence. Hiding things, fighting in hushed whispers, pretending to be perfect. It must be exhausting .
I don’t bother looking up as I take the steps down. Emiliano continues to have me surveilled, but I haven’t received a call or text from him in days.
Odd that I’ve noticed since I was the one ignoring him. That can’t be healthy.
As I take the last step, I glance up, prepared to see Berto parked across the street. But he’s not there.
Emiliano stands there against what appears to be a new car, like the first morning he showed up here, arms crossed. Only this time, he’s across the street and there isn’t a smile on his face.
I pause, looking at him, remembering our last encounter.
I should be filled with shame. Either at my behavior that night or my ignoring him since then. That’s no way to treat someone who helped bail me out of jail.
But really, I’d just like to do what we did that night again. I’d like to do even more now.
As if he’d been waiting for permission and took my standing there as one, he ambles over, looking both ways as he crosses the street.
“Good morning,” he calls out, and I tilt my chin in a wordless greeting. “Fancy seeing you here.”
I want to tell him that I never fully understood that joke, but I stare at him instead. If my eyes could speak, they’d ask what the hell he’s doing here.
I really need to work on my manners.
“I spoke to your father yesterday,” he informs me, and I wish I had a better poker face.
“Why?” I blurt out since he’d already caught the way my brows raised at his statement.
“He called me. Asked about our date the other night.”
My parents asked me where I went as soon as I walked in from my night with Emiliano, and rather than lie, I opted to share that I was with him. If he’s safe enough for my father to do business with, he’s safe enough for me to spend time with .
I’d walked to my room and slammed the door shut on my mother’s berating words.
“I told you to stay away from him.”
And now here we are, standing in front of one another right outside their home.
“And what did you tell him?” Holy shit, imagine if he told him?—
“I definitely didn’t tell him about what you did. Even though it’s all I can think about lately. Siempre pienso en ti. ” He doesn’t blink as he watches me for any reaction to his words. When he doesn’t get one, he continues. “I told him that he should be asking you.”
His mere presence sends me off-kilter and I don’t know how to have this conversation; how to act normally.
“What else was said?” Because something led him here, and I’m sure it wasn’t me ghosting him. Unless he’s a glutton for punishment. Honestly, with his track record…
“He mentioned your mental health,” he says softly, crossing his arms as he looks down at me. “Is that why you’re always running from me?”
“What about my mental health?” I opt to ignore his question, not wanting to delve into my fear or feelings or honestly anything about myself that I’m not willingly offering.
“He mentioned a paranoid schizophrenia diagnosis.”
I want to laugh. I want to laugh so hard that my stomach hurts and tears are streaming down my face.
So this is the direction they’ve decided to take things with me.
Rather than deny it, I allow the silence to continue as I arch a brow, daring him to tell me what he’s thinking.
“I wanted to tell you that I don’t care about that, Taina.”
I wonder if it’s because I played with my pussy in front of him.
“You don’t, huh? No safety concerns?” It’s my turn to cross my arms over my chest. “Why’s that? ”
“If I’m being honest, I’m concerned that being here is what’s triggering for you.” He gestures toward the house. “They don’t see you, and they clearly don’t speak to you.”
I try to keep my lip from trembling at the truth in his words, but it’s fruitless.
He takes a step toward me, and I shake my head once.
“I don’t say that to make you sad. I say that because I want to help you.”
“You want to rescue me?”
“I want to make sure you never need rescuing again.”
“That’s…sweet,” is all I can muster, wiping the tear that fell down my cheek. He’s making it so hard to leave him alone. But why now? Why couldn’t he have found me before? Or hell, after I killed the villain in my story.
But now ? I’m not ready now.
As if he can read my mind, he takes a few steps, his long legs swallowing the distance between us.
“I don’t like seeing you cry,” he murmurs, his hands lifted to cradle my face, but he stops himself. “But I want to help you. We can go at your pace.”
Something about this man drags me kicking and screaming back to my humanity; to the hopeful young woman I once was. It’s both exciting and terrifying.
In my mind, my fear and rage keep me safe.
But now he wants to take over that position.
And I have no idea how I’d even let him.
So I take hold of his wrists to bring his hands to my face and look up at him, hoping this big, beautiful motherfucker knows how massive of a moment this is.
As if to seal the deal, he leans down, bringing his nose closer to mine. I take in the golden flecks in his eyes and the way his thumbs stroke the sides of my face.
“Do you want me to kiss you?” His question is gruff but quiet .
“You’ve already seen me masturbate,” I try to joke, but he doesn’t bite.
“Tell me you want me to kiss you,” he clarifies.
How does he know consent is like foreplay to me?
“I want you…to kiss me.”
He punctuates my statement with a swift meeting of our lips, and fuck I forgot how nice it feels to kiss a man. My hands find his waist, and I hold on like I’m afraid to lose my balance.
He pulls away first, and my wide eyes drink in his half-mast ones.
“You gonna be mine now?”
I can’t help my chuckle, and he beams in response.
“Taina con la sonrisa linda .”