Chapter 4
FOUR
MOTLEY
It had been a good week or so of us all camping out in the middle of nowhere.
Time didn’t really exist the same way out here.
We went from our normal civilian lifestyles to waking up at the crack of dawn and staying up till the stars came out.
The campsite we settled on was desolate and away from everything and everyone.
Ducky said we were somewhere outside some well-known national forest or something, but we didn’t really care.
Honestly, I don’t think any of us even processed the concept of being so far away from other humans.
The campgrounds we were staying at were widespread, reaching into the thick trees.
We hadn’t really seen many people while we were out.
Maybe a family or two, and a lone hiker, but that was really it.
It had been a nice change of pace from the busy city. At least for most of us.
Carmen was living it up out here. She was spending all this time with her son and loved every minute of it.
You’d think they won a free vacation to Disney World or something with how much fun they were having.
Ducky, of course, was with them almost the entire time.
They were like a little family, the three of them out here fishing, swimming, and toasting marshmallows around the campfire.
It was a nice thing to see. Carmen and her boy deserved every bit of happiness in this ugly world.
We all sat around the campfire, the sun fully setting beyond the trees.
Ducky was making faces at José and Carmen, and her nanny laughed and giggled at the two boys.
Ducky was older than time, yet he found the energy for José.
Kash was silently smoking across from me.
I could see his face through the fire, and it told me he was still bitter.
Something had been eating away at him almost the entire time we’d been here.
He’d been isolating himself, avoiding not just me, but all of us. And I didn’t like it.
Just then, a small, soft marshmallow hit my face, followed by a few devious little giggles.
I turned to look at little José, dressed in his matching dinosaur pjs.
He was covered in melted marshmallow and chocolate; the food smeared all over his face and hands.
“Did you just throw a marshmallow at me?” I asked.
I picked the marshmallow up and squished it between my fingers, snarling in an overexaggerated and ridiculous way.
José giggled and shook his head. “Oh, I think you did!” I raised my arms and crunched my fingers like a dinosaur while I made all sorts of noises.
The little boy squealed and hit me with another. “Oh! You did!”
Carmen tried to hold her laughs as José watched me. “Uncle Motley is a dinosaur!” he yelled. “Run away!”
As José stood, so did I. I chased him around the campsite, snarling and making funny noises.
He squealed and laughed, throwing more marshmallows at me.
With each hit, I pretended to be wounded, falling over as if he had nearly killed me.
“Oh no!” I dropped to my knees. “The Motleysaurous is brutally injured by the mighty hunter, José!”
Kash, who happened to be behind me, turned to look over his shoulder. “Knock it off, you two. I have a headache.”
I rolled my eyes. “Ignore the mean old Kashodonyx. He’s a grumpy dinosaur.” José laughed, hitting me with another marshmallow. “Oh! My stomach!” I fell down, and he threw another, hitting Kash instead.
Kash rushed to his feet. “I said knock it off!” We all froze and looked at him. José’s sweet smile faded and tears bubbled in his eyes.
I rolled back to my knees, kicking the dirt around while I shuffled over to the little boy. “Hey,” I whispered. “Don’t worry, little man. You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? Uncle Kash is just in a mood?—”
José bolted from me to Carmen, tears now flowing from his eyes as he sobbed. She shot Kash a death glare, and he lowered his head. “I’m sorry?—”
“He’s just a kid, Kash!” Carmen picked José up and tried to comfort him. “Come on, baby, let’s go inside. Uncle Kash can sleep outside tonight.”
“Carmen,” he groaned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—” She flipped him off and stepped inside the camper.
Kash kicked some of the dishes aside and shouted in anger.
The aggression made me jump. Kash had always had a temper, but this was something else.
He then grabbed a blanket and a bottle of alcohol and silently walked towards the trees.
What the fuck is going on with him?
Ducky sighed and shook his head. “I really thought some time off would help that boy heal. I guess I was wrong.” He looked at me. “There’s something broken inside that man, Motley. Something that runs deep in his soul. And if he doesn’t start working on himself, that wound is going to eat him up.”
I looked back in Kash’s direction as he disappeared into the woods. “Not sure I can heal anything, but I’ll talk to him.”
Ducky nodded his head. “He needs you, Motley. He always has.” I looked back at the old man.
Did he know? Ducky simply smiled, and with the help of Carmen’s nanny, the two stepped inside the camper and shut the door behind them.
With a heavy sigh, I lit a cigarette and headed out into the woods after Kash.
Moody or not, this shit ends tonight.
Kash would never lash out or speak to José like that. Ever. Something is weighing heavily on his mind, and I’m determined to figure out what.
Twigs and branches crunched under my shoes as I stomped through the long grass and woods.
The sun had fully sunk and night settled in, leaving me in absolute fucking darkness, stumbling through the woods like some lovestruck idiot.
“Things I do for him,” I grumbled to myself.
I nearly tripped over a large rock and almost choked on my cigarette.
“Fuck!” Something bit my arm at the same time.
“Kash!” I yelled, slapping the mosquito away.
“Kash, where the fuck are you?” I was starting to get annoyed. “Kash!”
“You don’t have to scream.” Kash’s voice came from behind. I spun around to see him leaning against a tree, smoking his cigarette. The tip burned, revealing his dark eyes while he inhaled. “Looking for me?” He exhaled with a grin.
I crossed my arms. “No shit.”
Kash flicked the cigarette down and stomped on it, putting it out with his boot.
“Well, you found me.” He clapped his hands.
“Congrats, big boy.” He tried to walk off, but I grabbed his arm and stopped him.
“Let go of me, Motley.” His words were low and pained, as if he were a completely different person.
Kash pulled himself from my grasp and shoved past me deeper into the woods. “Kash. Kash!” I followed after him. “What the fuck is going on?” He kept walking, ignoring me completely. “Kash.” No response.
Now, I’m starting to get pissed. Goddamn drama queen.
My arm reached forward as I spun him around to face me. “Hey!” Kash’s eyes remained low and unfazed. I gripped his arms and shook him, trying to get a reaction out of him. Something to show he was there inside this empty shell of who he was. “Kash!”
“Let me go, Motley,” he whispered.
My face burned with frustration. “Like hell! What the fuck is going on? First you sulked around the whole time we’ve been here, avoiding everyone, acting too good for us?—”
“It’s not that,” he interrupted.
I scoffed. “Oh really? Then what is it?” No response. “Fuck, Kash! What is happening to you! Why did you yell at José like that? He’s just a kid, and we were playing around?—”
“Don’t you think I know that!” Finally, a reaction.
Kash shoved me back with a loud grunt. “You think I’m not pissed at myself?
Huh? You think I wanted to hurt that little boy’s feelings?
” He went from speaking low to practically yelling, his face showing every bit of his emotions.
“I feel like shit, Motley! Carmen and Ducky—everyone has every right to be mad at me! I fucking deserve it! I deserve all of their anger!” He spun back and continued walking.
I could tell this wasn’t just about his little overreaction. This was something deeper.
“You’re not running away from me, Kash.” I quickly walked after him and smoked my cigarette.
Kash shook his head and spoke over his shoulder to me. “Fucking leave me alone.” He noticed me following him and picked up his pace.
I did the same and remained close. “No. You may run away from everyone else in your life, but not me.” I moved swiftly and closed the distance between us as I flicked my cigarette aside.
“Stop running, Kash.” He began to walk faster.
“I said stop !” My hand reached out and snatched his neck.
Kash tried to fight me off, but I was stronger.
And I used that to my advantage. My body slammed him against a tree, refusing to let him go.
Kash struggled, grunting and groaning as he tried to push me off, but it was no use. “Stop it,” I growled.
“Let go of me, Motley!” Kash shouted back. “Let go! Let me go!” I could see his eyes turning red. “Just let me go!”
My heart broke seeing him hurt so much. He was carrying so much pain within him.
He needed to let it go, to spill all of his thoughts and breathe.
“No,” I whispered. “I’m not letting you go.
” Kash groaned. “I’m never letting you go, Kash.
So either you fight me for the rest of our lives or you accept that! ”
Kash stopped fighting and dropped his head. “You can’t always run after me. I’m not yours to save, Motley.”
I knew he was trying to hurt me, but I didn’t care. It only fueled my desire to prove him wrong. “You’re wrong.” And just then, I let go of my anger and kissed him, harder and more intently than I had ever kissed him before.